2019 Christmas Shopping: All Records Broken?

Christmas shopping: all records broken
This year we expect that sales will break all records! However, we cannot help but think that this anniversary celebrates the coming to earth of one of humanity’s greatest avatars – who, additionally, lived in total poverty according to his own words.

Bullying Won't Be Curbed Until We Figure Out What Fuels It

Bullying Won't Be Curbed Until We Figure Out What Fuels It
In October 2019, a 14-year-old and an 18-year-old were charged with first-degree murder in the fatal stabbing of Devan Bracci-Selvey, who died in his mother’s arms outside his southern Ontario high school.

Completing A Karma: How Karma Repayment Works

Completing A Karma: How Karma Repayment Works
Karma usually comes with no warning even though it is essence directed. It frequently comes like a freight train rounding the bend and coming down the tracks with inexorable speed. The train is upon you before you can run away.

How Do People Make Decisions In Groups?

How People Make Decisions In Groups
Using a mathematical framework with roots in artificial intelligence and robotics, researchers have uncovered the process for how people make decisions in groups.

Why It Can Be Hard To Stop Eating Even When You're Full

Why It Can Be Hard To Stop Eating Even When You're FullAll foods are not created equal. Most are palatable, or tasty to eat, which is helpful because we need to eat to survive. For example, a fresh apple is palatable to most people and provides vital nutrients and calories.

Living With Fire and Facing Our Fears

Living With Fire And Facing Our Fears
It is only mid-November but we have to walk early to avoid the heat. A northerly wind picks up clouds of dust and pollen, sending dirty billows across the paddocks.

How To Transform Negative Events Into Loving-Kindness and Acceptance

How To Transform Negative Events and Negative People Into A Positive Spiritual Response
We have the strongest karmic connections with family members; therefore, we have a great responsibility for developing our relationships with them. If we cannot develop loving-kindness towards our family, why even talk about other being. Zen Buddhism teaches that everything we do, provided it is done with total awareness, is spiritual activity.

Are You As Grateful As You Deserve To Be?

Are You As Grateful As You Deserve To Be?
As a physician, I have helped to care for many patients and families whose lives have been turned upside down by serious illnesses and injuries.

Got Cravings? Use A Break-Your-Craving-State Technique

Got Cravings? Use A Break-Your-Craving-State Technique
When we enter a state of having intense food cravings, it is often because we are reacting to a particular trigger, such as an uncomfortable or disturbing interaction or the occurrence of a stressful event. We then go into a stressed state—perhaps our muscles in the belly, jaw, shoulders, or pelvis become clenched unconsciously or we find ourselves feeling numb or agitated.

Freedom From An Attachment to Guilt and Fear of Love

Freedom From An Attachment to Guilt & Fear of Love
'Our present thoughts and choices are the sole determiner of our present experience.' Because this statement is so foreign to how we usually approach life, I would like to give you an illustration from my own life.

Forgiving: It's Good For Your Health and Your Mind

Forgiving: It's Good For Your Health and Your Mind
As you forgive others, you are freeing yourself as well as them. As M. Scott Peck writes: 'The reason to forgive others is not for their sake .... The reason to forgive is for our own sake. For our own health. Because beyond that point needed for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls begin to shrivel.'

Choosing Gratefulness “In Spite Of”

Choosing Gratefulness “In Spite Of”
We can’t wait until everything is OK—with us or with the rest of the world—to feel thankful, or we will never experience it at all. “The world is too bent for unshadowed joy,” Lewis Smedes points out, and so we must catch and kiss our joy as it flies by, even in the midst of sorrow or suffering.

Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes

Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes
No one can go through this life without making mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and feel gratitude for the learning. Some of our mistakes are financial, some educational. Some mistakes are because our actions hurt another person.

Do We Actually Grow From Adversity?

Do We Actually Grow From Adversity?
In our culture, there’s this idea that enduring a tragedy can be good for your personal growth. 

Male Imposters: The Secret Shame and Fear Of Not Being Good Enough

Male Imposters: The Secret Shame Of Not Being Good Enough
Although Imposter Syndrome (IS) has traditionally been seen as a female phenomenon, there isn’t an awful lot of hard data to confirm that women actually do experience this more than men. The reason that it is seen as a female condition is simply that the phenomenon was first discovered using research on women and it is a stereotype that seems to have stuck.

The Most Important Thing: Watching What We Say To Ourselves

Being Impeccable with Our Word and The Stories We Tell Ourselves
A few years ago, I was privileged to hear a speech by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. He stressed repeatedly that the most important thing for us to watch in regard to our conversation is not so much what we say to others, but what we say to ourselves...

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude
When I heard this story, I stopped in my tracks. What a powerful model for compassion in action! I pray that I might be so sensitive to support others in their sense of well-being and transform potentially painful situations with a stroke of kindness.

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain
While a full night of deep sleep stabilizes emotions, a sleepless one can trigger up to a 30% rise in anxiety levels, a new study shows.

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience
From swearing to insults, most of us have experienced rudeness in some form or another at work, out in public or online. Much of the research examining rudeness has focused on its negative effects and with good reason – there are plenty of them.

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again
The ancient Greeks spoke of two kinds of time, or two experiences of time: chronos and kairos. Chronos is what we now call clock time, objective time. In music, chronos is met­ronome time. Kairos is timeliness, the opportune moment that surges out from our experience, something that cannot happen at any time but only at this time. Educators call it the teachable moment.

Unconditional Love Is A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World

Unconditional Love: A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World
A time comes in our personal development when we realize that we are not isolated, independent individuals, but rather that we are all interdependent. We then experience genuine care and concern for others, become more aware of the larger whole and feel a deep desire to share our riches, whatever they may be, with others.

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself
As individuals, nations, and a planet, we have forgotten where we have come from, who we are, and where we are going. An honest look at the troubles we have created for ourselves reveals that we have painfully lost sight of the visions that once painted our future...

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power
Women and men have incredible personal power yet often don't realize their own multifaceted power or know how to use it appropriately. The understanding of power is often limited to behaviors that involve being controlling, aggressive, or having influence over others. Personal power has nothing to do with these traits...

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?
Do you ever think that you're not good enough to act compassionately? Not quite holy enough, so maybe you would rather leave that sort of behavior to the saints and sages, the ministers and priests. After all, aren't these the people who are in charge of communications with God?

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful
For the Ancient Greeks, virtue wasn’t a goal in and of itself, but rather a route to a life well lived. By being honest and generous, embodying diligence and fortitude, showing restraint and kindness, a person would flourish

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children
According to the NHS, as many as one in eight children aged five to 19 faces a mental health challenge. And a significant number of these cases are related to some form of anxiety.

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses
Have you experienced some turbulence in these last months? It seems like these recent times have presented many folks with personal unexpected life-altering struggles. Our own trials and tribulations, in addition to the surreal political situation and what's happening throughout the world is taking a toll on our emotional, physical, psychological, and mental well-being.

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory
Memory is the essence of our psychological functioning, essential for every move we make – getting dressed, having breakfast, driving to work, doing a crossword, making a cup of tea.

Learning the Lesson of Trust

Learning the Lesson of Trust
I love this photo of our son-in-law Ryan and our almost three-year-old grandson Owen. Ryan is taking Owen for his first surfing lesson. Owen is holding his hand with complete trust. He knows that his father has great wisdom in this situation and will take care of him. 

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder
UK-based healthcare group the Priory is well-known for treating gambling, sex, drug, alcohol and computing addictions – especially of the rich and famous. 

Are You Mentally Well Enough For College?


Last spring an 18-year-old college freshman who got straight A’s in high school – but was now failing several courses – came to my office on the campus where I work as a psychologist.

Loving Each Other -- and The World Around Us -- Out Loud

Loving Each Other and The World Around Us Out Loud
The phrase “loving out loud” refers to a way to live openly and without regret. It’s moving from rapid-fire emoticons to thoughtfully emoting. It’s recognizing the power of a gentler, spoken word infused with a gener­ous spirit.

The Neuroscience Of Motivation and How To Improve It

The Neuroscience Of Motivation And How To Improve It
Motivation can be a hard thing to come by. Whether at home, at school or at work, most of us have been in a situation where we know exactly what to do but lack the mental power to do it.

Can We Avoid The Changes and Challenges That Happen In This Crazy World?

Being Masterfully Human: Passing Human Mastery 101
Who said that if you lived consciously nothing bad or challenging would ever happen to you? Who told you would never get sick, have a lover leave you, have a loved one die, have a car accident, or make a bad choice, huh? Who ever said that walking the spiritual path would be a piece of cake, easy as pie?

Moving Beyond Fear: Learning How Fear Has Dominated Your Life

Moving Beyond Fear: How Does Fear Dominate Your Life?
We must understand our fears if we really want to move on because that understanding is the prerequisite to self-knowledge, which alone is the only requirement for a harmonious relationship – with ourselves. Constant fear prevents us from living our true purpose. We must learn that fear is the basis of all man’s problems...

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?
Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise what another person is thinking or feeling, and one way it can be assessed in the lab is by using the “reading the mind in the eyes test” – or “eyes test”, for short. 

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"?

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"
If you "grew up on Bible stories", you learned the "eye for an eye" concept. How is that to be put into effect in a spiritual practice that focuses on inner peace, forgiveness, and peaceful interactions with "all our relations"? Can "an eye for an eye" be interpreted in any way other than anger and revenge?

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop
Everyone is subject to the release of stress hormones and the resulting feelings of high arousal or alarm. Some of us have neural programming that activates automatically and calms us. We go from alarm to interest or curiosity about what the amygdala is reacting to. Those of us who don’t have that software stay alarmed until the stress hormones burn off.

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?
Welcome to the world of the Imposter Syndrome. It is a secret world, inhabited by successful people from all walks of life who have one thing in common – they believe that they are not really good enough. They might be men or women, young or old. And imposter beliefs are not always related to work; I have met ‘imposters’ who feel they are not good enough parents, husbands, wives, friends or even not good enough human beings.

Becoming Free of the Greatest Fear of All

Becoming Free of the Greatest Fear of All
The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom. What people say does not matter. Your whole and sole judge is God. And God simply means the whole universe.

Marianne Williamson: America Doesn’t Just Have A Gun Crisis--It Has A Culture Crisis

America Doesn’t Just Have A Gun Crisis--It Has A Culture Crisis
Another day, another mass shooting. We grieve for Odessa, Tex., and we grieve for America. The aftermath of every mass shooting follows a now-routine pattern: Feverish coverage will be followed by politicians and pundits engaging in a predictable conversation about gun-safety legislation. All of which we know by now.

What Is The Cost of Withholding Your Truth?

Taking the Risk to Speak Your Truth and Be Authentic
Take a minute to reflect on your ability or inability to tell your truth, particularly in the workplace. Notice how frequently you say things that are safe or politically correct and don't say the things that are true for you but are not necessarily as safe. It is important to recognize the cost of withholding our truth, both for ourselves and for...

Why Do People Believe In Curses?

Why Do People Believe In Curses?
Strictly Come Dancing, the TV show which pairs celebrities with professional dancers to compete in a ballroom dancing competition, has apparently been the cause of a number of divorces, break-ups, and scandals.

Saying No to Guilt: You Are Not Responsible for Others

No More Guilt
Ego does what is necessary to maintain its power. Guilt is one of the more blatant sub -personalities of ego. It performs two primary functions for ego: importance and responsibility. Both make you feel needed as described below....

How To Become A Great Impostor

How To Become A Great Impostor

Unlike other icons who have appeared on the front of Life magazine, Ferdinand Waldo Demara was not famed as an astronaut, actor, hero or politician.

Creating A Sacred Environment For Sleep

Creating A Sacred Environment For Sleep
The mastery of sleep is to know what sleeping conditions you need and recognize the sacredness of those conditions. If you are protesting that you do not have time to recognize the sacredness of sleep right now, that’s okay. See and know that. Acknowledge that right now you may be prioritizing busyness over sacredness, 

5 Effective Ways to Deal with Your Frustrations

5 Effective Ways to Deal with Your Frustrations
What transforms an irksome situation or event into frustration? It's our expectations, our "shoulds" that cause aggravation. Your wife should have an awareness about her eating habits. Drivers should be considerate of other drivers' needs. Your son should learn how to develop tidy habits.

Enjoying and Appreciating All That Is

Enjoying and Appreciating All That Is
Life can be stressful. It can and does present challenges. It also brings pleasures and laughter, as well as sadness and tears. Some of these experiences we accept with joy, others we want to run from and hide, others just plain aggravate us or bore us 'to death'...

How To Remove "The Anger Response" From Your Life

Removing Anger From Your Life
A commitment to an anger-free life involves signing up for a new journey. Deciding to actually enjoy this journey will make it much more pleasant. Learn to think of life as a process. If you focus only on goals, you are not going to be happy until you have achieved them.

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same...

Why Do People Cheat?

Why Do People Cheat?
When we hear that a poor person scammed others out of money, we may attribute this behavior to their poverty, rationalizing that the person violated ethics and the law because they needed the money.

From Longing for Peace to Becoming Peace and Being Peace

From Longing for Peace to Becoming Peace and Being Peace
There is no more urgent question than this: How can I make peace real? How are we to meet violence with nonviolence, to meet war with peace, to meet fear with love, to meet hatred with compassion? How are we to dismantle the attitude of militarism and install the attitude of peace, within our own minds and within the very structure of society?

Cleaning the Mind with Regular and Disciplined Practice

Cleaning the Mind with Regular and Disciplined Practice
The biggest problem with a mistake that's not forgiven is that it becomes a piece of garbage cluttering up your mind. The longer you dwell on the mistake, the more it magnifies and distracts you. Our minds become a giant toxic dumpsite. It results in perpetual unhappiness.

Bike Sharing Isn't Just For Rich Hipsters

Bike Sharing Isn't Just For Rich Hipsters
Bike and scooter sharing is booming in cities all around the world. In the United States, the number of trips through either bike or scooter sharing — modes of transportation called “micromobility” — more than doubled over one year, from 35 million trips in 2017 to 84 million in 2018.

Focus On Who You Can Be, Not What You Can Do

Focus On Who You Can Be, Not What You Can Do
One innovative way to face hard truths is through imagery. Rumi’s words from the opening quote echo across the centuries and present evocative symbols. “Mount the stallion of love and do not fear the path…” Consider the imagery of this verse and zero in on two significant elements: the stallion and you.

What Happens In The Brain When We Give Up?

What Happens In The Brain When We Give Up?
Inside the brain, a group of cells known as nociceptin neurons get very active before mice give up on reaching hard-to-get rewards, researchers report.

Why Do Some People Worry More Than Others?

Why Do Some People Worry More Than Others?
You might think there are some people who never worry. But that’s not true. We all worry but at different times and about different things. A bit of worrying is normal and healthy.

The Joy of Service Is the True Nature of Your Being

The Joy of Service Is the Inherent Nature of Your Being
To be 'in service' in today's world is regarded as demeaning no matter whether the service is given freely, or for hire and reward. A misconception exists that by the very act of serving someone you are placing yourself in a position of subservience to the person that is being served. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It Is Essential Now To Expand Our Awareness and Elevate Our Attitude

It Is Essential Now To Expand Our Awareness and Elevate Our Attitude
Society desperately needs the tempering and respectful energy of feminine strength. The Chi­nese proverb “When sleeping women wake, mountains move” is being affirmed by societal shifts throughout the world. We are awake and deeply aware that our strength, wisdom, and compassion are needed.

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FROM THE EDITORS

InnerSelf Newsletter: September 27, 2020
by InnerSelf Staff
One of the great strength of the human race is our ability to be flexible, to be creative, and to think outside the box. To be someone other than we were yesterday or the day before. We can change...…
What Works For Me: "For The Highest Good"
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
The reason I share "what works for me" is that it may work for you as well. If not exactly the way I do it, since we are all unique, some variance of the attitude or method may very well be something…
Were You Part Of The Problem Last Time? Will You Be Part Of The Solution This Time?
by Robert Jennings, InnerSelf.com
Have you registered to vote? Have you voted? If you are not going to vote, you will be part of the problem.
InnerSelf Newsletter: September 20, 2020
by InnerSelf Staff
The theme of the newsletter this week can be summed up as "you can do it" or more specifically "we can do it!". This is another way of saying "you/we have the power to make a change". The image of…
What Works For Me: "I Can Do It!"
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
The reason I share "what works for me" is that it may work for you as well. If not exactly the way I do it, since we are all unique, some variance of the attitude or method may very well be something…