Living in a fast-paced materialistic world is no easy task for loving sensitive souls. It might sometimes feel like being in a bad dream where we feel unsafe and out of place, trying to make sense of everything that is whirling past us at incredible speeds. In an attempt to feel less lonely and isolated, we form friendships and relationships with others around us who share common goals and interests.
At first we can be ecstatic to meet a new friend or lover and we can rush into things without taking the time to truly observe someone and sense if they are right for us. We often create a fantasy of someone rather than take them for what they are, so unfortunately, the fault is on us when we end up with toxic lovers or friends. In this article I will explore what toxic relationships are, explain how we can get out of them, and share an exercise to cut energy links with toxic people in our lives in order to regain peace.
What Are Toxic Relationships?
Toxic relationships are relationships that cage us spiritually, mentally or emotionally from our true joyful selves. They have low, negative, and heavy vibrations and hold us down rather than pull us up. Usually such relationships come into our lives because we are in a space of vulnerability, loneliness, sadness, and self-pity.
We cannot see things very clearly when we are in low spaces so we naturally attract low-vibrating people that later can become a real problem for us. Usually at the start of toxic relationships we feel temporarily relieved to have found companions to help us escape our previous states of being but later on, when the fairy tale wears off, we can have rather rude awakenings.
How to Free Ourselves from Toxic Relationships
The first step in freeing yourself from toxic people is to recognize that you are in an unhealthy space with somebody else. By "unhealthy space" I mean that you feel drained after meeting with certain people or feel sadder, disconnected, uncentered, and basically not good inside. Once you realize that you have attracted toxicity in your life, you need to take concrete steps to break free.
The second part is a bit tricky because it involves voicing your feelings that you are unhappy with a certain relationship and want to exit politely without making a scene. A phone call might be a good idea or better yet a face-to-face meeting with the person to let them know you don't feel good about being their lover or friend anymore and want to move on in your life.
This step is tricky because you might receive a negative reaction or the other person might try to manipulate you to stay with them. Then comes the part in which you must stand strong in your commitment to walk away no matter what happens.
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I was once faced with a woman who started attacking me in emails, saying all sorts of nasty things about me that were untrue just because I had decided to cut ties with her. I even received a series of ugly threats which shocked me profoundly. Her true colors were frightening.
Some people will go to great lengths to make us feel bad about our decision to remove toxicity from our lives. Pay no attention to such negative vibrations and just stick your ground.
An important last step is not to keep contact with the person you wish to free yourself from. When we keep contact, we nourish that connection and it takes on a life of its own. Whether we know it or not, every time we write to someone or call someone or think of someone, we are nourishing a connection and feeding it with our energy and power.
An Energetic Exercise to Help Free Ourselves
I learned this exercise from one of my teachers a few years ago and it works really well. Sit somewhere quiet with a white candle lit. Close your eyes and fill yourself with love until you feel yourself ready to speak to the person you wish to cut with.
Visualize the person surrounded with a white sphere and share everything you have in your heart. Once you have told them how you feel, say the following words:
"I give you back everything I took from you without knowing and take back from you everything you took from me without knowing. I want to thank you for everything you have taught me in this life and other lives. I ask that all karmic ties be severed and returned to the Creator above. I wish to be free of any remaining karma."
Once you have said these words, visualize a sword of light cutting these links between you and the other person. Ask that the person leave. Do this exercise three days in a row preferably when the moon is full to accentuate the power of your intention.
©2016 by Nora Caron.
Book by this Author
Journey to the Heart: New Dimensions Trilogy, Book 1
by Nora Caron.
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About the Author
Nora Caron has a Masters degree in English Renaissance literature and speaks four languages. After struggling through the academic system, she realized that her true calling was to help people live from their hearts and explore the world through the eyes of their spirit. Nora has studied with various spiritual teachers and healers since 2003 and she practices Energy Medicine as well as Tai Chi and Qi Gong. In September 2014, her book "Journey to the Heart", received the Living Now Book Award Silver Medal for Best Inspirational Fiction. Visit her website at: www.noracaron.com
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