We can only trace romantic love back to about a thousand years ago. Prior to that, there wasn't any romantic love. It's an idea that has been invented, like a philosophy or a religion. It has been made very special.
Marriage was invented a long time ago as a contract between a heterosexual male and a heterosexual female. In the olden days, when life expectancy was short and people lived 30 or 40 years at most, the idea of men and women being together for their whole lives was feasible, especially as they lived in the context of a sluggish energy that didn't change much. There wasn't a lot of difference between England in the 1400s and the 1700s, when it came to sexuality, marriage, relationships, and so on.
Sexuality burst open with the advent of the Pill and other birth control methods, and now relationships can move so much more quickly. Some marriages might last only 20 minutes, because everything has been said and done in that time. I think marriages, relationships, and energy get used up faster because our society is moving faster.
Somebody has to rethink how marriage works, because obviously the patriarchal system -- where the male dominates and the female gives birth and stays in the home -- is not appropriate for everyone anymore.
Yet in tossing that idea out, we often have these archaic ideas that if the marriage doesn't work, the male is somehow supposed to sustain the female. So, on the one hand, we don't like the idea of the male dominating the female in the house, but once the male leaves, the law can say it's his responsibility to give the woman the home and sustain her. Of course, this creates a lot of problems because things are changing. We have to come to a middle ground where people think about what they actually want, or what is fair.
It's always seemed to me that romance is a money-making business. I used to say this in my seminars and receive howls of protest. Everybody likes to think that romance is a pristine special thing and nobody is thinking of cash, security, prenuptial settlements, postnuptial divorce payments, and so on.
I've always had the impression that in the USA, in spite of their modern way of thinking, when it comes to Saturday night and everybody's partying, there's a lot of horse trading going on. The guy who is rich and successful gets plenty of ladies, and the guy who doesn't have any money gets less. So there must be something about the economy of romance that seems to attract ladies up the higher end of the economic scale. Then again, you may possibly fall in love with a tramp if that's what you're supposed to do in this lifetime.
I don't think there will ever be a simple answer to marriage and divorce. Basically there is no point in hanging out with somebody you don't like. However, having said that, I do believe that there is a validity in staying together for the sake of children. So some people make a compromise.
The rules of marriage are going to have to be rewritten. I'm not keen on the idea of single mothers, because I think children need the presence and influence of their father. I'm definitely not keen on the idea of single mothers raising kids with money from the government. So the whole thing is in a state of flux... we'll have to wait and see.
Whether you're heterosexual or gay, a sacred commitment is wonderful and can really increase your energy. It doesn't have to be a formal marriage, but by making that commitment, metaphysically you will bounce off your partner, and your partner will bounce off you, and bit by bit you can build each other up. You are reflected in your partner, and he or she is reflected in you, so you learn about yourself while simultaneously raising your energy.
A solid, committed relationship is a wonderful thing and can create a lot of power. It can also be destructive and debilitating when it isn't going well. So it's a risky business.
Excerpted with permission from the book "Simply Wilde"
by Stuart Wilde with Leon Nacson,
published by Hay House (www.hayhouse.com)
Simply Wilde: Discover the Wisdom That Is Stuart Wilde
by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.
Stuart Wilde was an entrepreneur, author and lecturer and one of the real characters of the self-help, human potential movement. His style is humorous, controversial, poignant, and transformational. He wrote several books including "Miracles", "The Force", "Affirmations", and "The Quickening". He is the creator of the successful "Warrior's Wisdom" seminars. Visit his website at www.StuartWilde.com. Stuart died of a heart attack on May 1, 2013.