Giving Away Your Power? Going From Fear to Empowerment

silhouette of a boy holding an adult's hand, with a background of colorful handprints on the wall

Image by Gerd Altmann.  Audio by Lawrence Doochin.

Video version

I am not interested in power for power’s sake,
but I’m interested in 
power that is moral,
is right and that is good.”


True power is used for the benefit of everyone because it comes from a unitive perspective and an understanding that we are all in this together. Ego power is fear-based and is used solely to benefit the person or group in power. It arises from a separatist perspective based on domination of others and the hoarding of wealth and resources.

Fear-based ego power rarely serves even the interests of a specific constituency, and certainly not the interests of humanity as a whole. This type of ego power and control is central to our world today and operates through most monetary and political systems such as democracy, fascism, monarchy, capitalism, communism, and socialism, as well as many religions.

In theory many of these systems sound ideal, but in practice they are corrupt and controlled by individuals seeking wealth and power. Since our world operates from this type of ego power, it is way out of balance.

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When Power Is Misused...

When power is misused, there is an imbalance in the relationship between those who have the power and misuse it and those on whom the power is being enforced. The former are operating from fear, while the latter are also in fear because they believe they have no choice or feel that submitting will be the easiest path. Others believe they will be rewarded for fitting in.

For instance, in the workplace many in both small to large companies have a constant underlying fear of getting fired, and some managers or leaders play this to their advantage to get extra work. Many companies run their supplier relationships based on fear. “You cut prices by 10%, or you are out.” In public companies, this culture of fear starts from the top with the board of directors and the CEO and it extends to shareholders because we have a dysfunctional and shortsighted system where success is measured almost exclusively by a quarterly financial result.

Many of the tech companies and others, such as early stage companies, breed a different kind of fear. This fear is over not being the best, coupled with fear over falling behind and not achieving what everyone else is achieving. I was on a plane with this young guy who worked with one of the top three tech companies. He said that almost everyone works on the weekends because they see others doing it and fear falling behind.

An “Us and Them” Versus “We”

We all know the extreme divisiveness that we have seen with our current political system. It is an “us and them” versus “we” perspective, which can only breed fear. Regardless of political affiliation, we have given our power away to our elected officials by believing that they have our best interests at heart, and this is usually not the case even though some may have entered politics to help people.

Why do we keep electing the same officials who have clearly shown that they are in office to benefit themselves? 

When we are in fear, we just want someone like the governing authorities to take it away, and we will do anything, including believing what we are told without questioning it, to make this happen. We agree to certain things we would never have agreed to if we weren’t in fear, which is what happened after 9-11 and will likely happen after the coronavirus crisis. Because the information and restrictions gradually ramp up, we are like the frog in the pot who is mesmerized and is boiled alive as the temperature of the water slowly rises.

Taking Charge of Our Health

We have also given our power away in terms of our health. Western medicine is excellent in areas such as broken bones or a tumor that needs to be removed, but it has struggled with more gray areas such as chronic illness, which has seen an exponential rise in the last 30 years.

Many have turned to alternative medicine, since they have not received solutions from conventional medicine. The latter trains health professionals in a very narrow niche. Treatment is usually a prescription medication which is targeted to symptom relief and often has multiple side effects. This is fundamentally different from addressing the underlying cause of the illness.

Our health professionals are well intentioned, but they often do not have answers for many of the health challenges we are now facing. I am not advocating going away from conventional medicine by any means and I will use it where I feel it’s appropriate. What I am suggesting is taking your power into your own hands by doing your own research.

When we are open to receiving information from any source that could help us, the Universe will provide this. This could mean any number of things, but each of us needs to know that we need to be the ones in control.

Personally, I had been very healthy until recently but began noticing that my blood pressure was spiking and I was also having bad headaches in the center of my head. I asked my physician to write an order for an MRI, and this ruled out a tumor, but I was shown that my blood vessels are genetically smaller than normal.

I have addressed all of my issues very successfully through a large reduction in sodium, taking certain supplements that help with high blood pressure, and really watching how my thoughts create extra stress. I did not find a health professional, alternative or conventional, that told me to do these things, but I worked this out on my own using intuition, knowledge (like results of the MRI), trying several approaches, and logic.

Giving Our Power Away to Health Professionals

Unfortunately, what I did is the exception. Not only have many given their power away to health professionals and have automatically followed what they say, but we also have a certain subset of people who welcome the attention that being sick brings them and who have made illness their identity. It is classic victim thinking, which is the ultimate way we give our power away. Marketing now plays to this, as if somehow it can be glamorous or cool to be sick. Many want a prescription to solve every health issue because they want a quick fix to these issues.

The health industry is one manifestation of how business and our society has veered off course and how distorted things have become. Health should be based on a proactive versus a reactive model. We all know the horror stories with insurance. When we live in a world where decisions are totally illogical and based on profit, and where others have control of something as critical as our health, there is no way we will escape fear.

Modern Religion and the Abuse of Power

Religion is another area that has demonstrated abuse of power, but in most cases each religion was founded by someone who received direct revelation from God. They would never have intended for a man-created structure with rules and dogmas to be added to the simplicity of their teachings. At a minimum, each religion says there is some thing, some prayer or rule or type of meditation or spiritual practice we have to do, or that we have go through the priestly class, to reach God.

Going further, Western religion has falsely taught that we have done something wrong, that we have “sinned,” and that we must do a penance to atone for this. Of course, there is absolutely no way not to live in fear if we believe these things.

All of this is false and an abuse of power that has put a veil over the truth and the knowledge of who we really are. Jesus told us that we are sons and daughters of God like him, that we would do greater things than him, and that we should worship God, not him.

The Bible was edited 300 years after the death of Jesus by men with egos who strived to establish a system of power and control. They decided what writings would comprise the Bible, and they left out certain ones on purpose. Which ones were left out? The ones which further reinforced each of us being divine, in communion with God, a son or daughter of God just as Jesus was. Understanding this would give us power and make their roles unnecessary.

Our fear and rigid beliefs stop us from considering new information that could dramatically alter how we see ourselves and God. For instance, Jesus spoke Aramaic, and the meanings of words in Aramaic are far different than what was translated into Greek and eventually into English. “Sin” originally meant “error” in Aramaic, while “repent” was “turn the other way.” “Turn the other way from your errors” has a completely different tone and meaning from “repent of your sins,” but this information is not widely available.

Religion, fear, and God are closely intertwined, and we don’t understand how powerful an effect this has on us, especially in the Western world, even if we don’t practice religion, any type of spirituality, or even believe in God. Regardless of how loving we understand God to be conceptually, if we hold any shred of belief that we were born in sin and that God will judge and punish us, we will fear God in general and especially what will happen at death. This is the case whether we are a religious fundamentalist, a highly spiritual person, and even for those who profess no belief in a God or a higher power, because it is ingrained in the collective of which we are all a part.

Giving Our Power Away

We give our power away because we are in victim mentality and we want the governing authorities, corporations, religious authorities, or the medical establishment to take care of all of our needs and tell us what to do in order to fix our problems. This leads to abuses of power because these authorities are only too willing to take our power if we hand it to them.

We also give our power away to individuals or groups that we are a part of. This can include a spouse, a boss, or a group that influences our beliefs. We give our power to them because we want their approval or because we fear them, as in an abusive situation. However, being disempowered leads to more fear. No one can have power over us unless we give them power over us.

It is helpful to understand why others abuse power. This enables us to stay in open-hearted compassion, which keeps us out of fear. Carl Jung said, “Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.”


No one has power over us
unless we give them that power.
Being disempowered can only lead to fear.


Do you give your power away by assuming someone or some authority
knows more than you and will take care of you?

Excerpted from Chapter 3 of "A Book on Fear" 
Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved.
Publisher : One-Hearted Publishing.

Article Source

A Book On Fear: Feeling Safe In A Challenging World
by Lawrence Doochin

A Book On Fear: Feeling Safe In A Challenging World by Lawrence DoochinEven if everyone around us is in fear, this doesn't have to be our personal experience. We are meant to live in joy, not in fear. By taking us on a treetop journey through quantum physics, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and more, A Book On Fear gives us tools and awareness to see where our fear comes from. When we see how our belief systems were created, how they limit us, and what we have become attached to that creates fear, we will come to know ourselves at a deeper level. Then we can make different choices to transform our fears. The end of each chapter includes a suggested simple exercise that can be done quickly but that will shift the reader into an immediate higher state of awareness about that chapter’s topic.

For more info and/or to order this book, click here.

More books by this Author.

About the Author

Lawrence DoochinLawrence Doochin is an author, entrepreneur, and devoted husband and father. A survivor of harrowing childhood sexual abuse, he traveled a long journey of emotional and spiritual healing and developed an in-depth understanding of how our beliefs create our reality. In the business world, he has worked for, or been associated with, enterprises from small startups to multinational corporations. He is the cofounder of HUSO sound therapy, which delivers powerful healing benefits to individual and professionals worldwide. In everything Lawrence does, he strives to serve a higher good. His new book is A Book on Fear: Feeling Safe in a Challenging World. Learn more at

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