Whether or not we’re part of a couple, we come into the world alone, we leave alone, and we make many of our most important decisions after we’ve done our own private soul-searching. We and we alone are responsible for our behavior; we create our own lives.
- By Alan Cohen
The news was beyond depressing. It was ridiculous. It was unbelievable. Finally, after the closing sortie of auto accidents and snarled traffic, the broadcaster announced, “. . .and now for a great new book by an author who is going to tell you how to live a happy life.”
When you have more than one child, the importance of fairness seems to trump all other considerations, including self-interest. Give a child £1 and she will be happy. But if she finds out that her sibling got £1.50, she will be angry. Take the money away from both and she will be satisfied. Both have lost, but...
Solitude is the state of being alone and away from others, without feeling any sense of regret, guilt, or loneliness. Spending time in solitude is highly self-nurturing and a practice that we all need to embrace. When we are so busy with the hectic activities of our lives...
We asked psychologists, user experience designers, and writers what web users could to do to promote more empathic interaction in online places. Here's what they said...
Three days before her 95th birthday, my mother transitioned out of her body while she was sleeping. Right at the time of her death, I had a dream about my mother, after not dreaming about her in years. In the dream, my mother was walking across a street...
Daily interactions require bargaining, be it for food, money or even making plans. These situations inevitably lead to a conflict of interest as both parties seek to maximise their gains. To deal with them, we need to understand the other person’s intentions, beliefs and desires and then use that to inform our bargaining strategy.
We have ideals about being a good friend and, when we don’t measure up to those ideals, we judge ourselves negatively. How good a friend are you? Many would contemplate this question for a minute and then reply, “Not a very good one.” For many years I also...
- By Alan Cohen
If your family interactions are tattering your soul, you cannot afford to indulge them. You may need to step away for now. Hopefully at some point you can reconnect on higher ground. For now, you must...
Bullying in schools has been recognized as a serious and pervasive problem now for at least two decades. There is now also evidence that traditional forms of bullying in schools have decreased modestly over the last decade or so. This is very likely due to the increase in work to prevent bullying...
As a mother, I have made life choices that can’t always include everything my children want—like hiking the Adirondacks. Here’s how I learned to overcome the guilt...
Can we look deeper at the meaning of availability? On the surface, it means accessible to another person, or readiness to love and be loved in return. On the very surface, it means single or unmarried but, as we all know, this has little to do with real availability for relationship.
Awareness is the beginning of healing. It is the transformation of consciousness from feeling victimized and separate to remembering that we are always connected with a higher purpose and a greater objective than simply sleep-walking...
Couples can resolve virtually any problem by conducting marriage meetings. The meetings foster a spirit of goodwill and acceptance, a live-and-let-live, respectful attitude that allows partners to be themselves. The process results in the ability to minimize or manage conflicts that may not be resolvable.
One of the secrets of living a happy life is to become your own best friend. But you can only do this when you know who you are, when you honestly and truly know yourself. Because what does a best friend do? A best friend sees you for who you really are and unconditionally loves and supports the real you...
Almost any culture from which we originated had traditions or rites of passage that symbolized the changing individual and strengthened his status in the family and community. What's required now is to rediscover those meaningful experiences and expectations that can empower us...
According to recent surveys, more than 40m single people out of 54m singles in the US have signed up to an online dating site such as Match.com and eHarmony. In the UK, 9.1m people have used an online dating site and one in every five new committed relationships starts online.
Is relationship therapy really needed? Why can't most of us just wing it and hope that everything turns out okay? After all, many people find that perfect partner and enjoy a satisfying, healthy relationship. Incredibly, a lot of marriages are doomed to split up...
The secret to learning self-awareness, cooperation, and other “social and emotional learning” skills lies in experience, not in workbooks and rote classroom exercises.
- By Osho
You exist as a sexual being. Once you accept it, the conflict that has been created down through the centuries dissolves. Once you accept it deeply, with no ideas in between, when sex is thought of as simply natural, you live it. Sex is transcended not by any effort on your part. If you make any effort, that will be repressive...
Sitting with clients every day makes me realize that so many people are confused when it comes to the parent-child relationship and what their responsibility is when it comes to being a parent. Some parents think it’s their job to make their children happy and to think for them – but this is not true.
When we were in our twenties, Joyce and I were criticized for being too close. Some people even quoted Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet, “…and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” They accused us of smothering one another. Early in our marriage...
Is pill-popping the best way to ensure we stay in love with our long-term partner? Should we also pop a pill to try to fall out of love in order to end an abusive relationship? Instead of pills, there may be some useful ancient answers...