We the people have gathered in this great land of freedom, one that gives us the opportunity to make of our lives what we will. We are all citizens here, by our own decision or the wise decisions of our ancestors. Whether we migrated here, were brought here, were born here, or were native to this land before Columbus journeyed here, we are all a part of the past, the present, and the future of these United States. We are one people, under God, indivisible.
Regardless of where our families originated, there was an important culture from which we came.
This vast richness of our heritage, traditions, social networks, or family structure was often left behind, modified, or lost over time. A sense of sacredness of life and of the land we live in has been forgotten.
Because this is a country that is made up of the people and cultures of the world, we call ourselves the "melting pot." But we have melded into a country without a uniform formal practice for acknowledging growth and what is sacred.
The Importance of Rites of Passage
Almost any culture from which we originated had traditions or rites of passage that symbolized the changing individual and strengthened his status in the family and community. What's required now is to rediscover those meaningful experiences and expectations that can empower us to be a part of the larger community and that remind us of the sacredness of life.
Rituals, ceremonies, and rites of passage can bond us with our families and neighborhoods more than just sharing a country.
It is interesting that we do not yet have a purely "American" custom that embraces all of us in the melting pot and serves as a defining rite of passage—or do we? Such a custom would benefit healthy growth for all ages and further strengthen and unite the diverse family that we are.
An American Ceremonial Rite of Passage: The Birthday Celebration
I suggest that an American ceremonial rite of passage has been right in front of us the whole time: the birthday celebration.
Birthday celebrations signify not only a bond between individuals and between families and communities, but they also showcase the development of the individual from infant to child to adult.
It is important to know that your contribution to your family and community is valued, and a birthday celebration is the perfect time to acknowledge that contribution.
The entire family helps to shape a child's being as she grows. Children are born as almost perfectly clean slates. A newborn child may have inherent gifts that can be developed, but the child cannot know what the rules of the family and the household are, how to succeed in school, how to be a functioning part of the community, or even how to care for herself. These are skills that are taught by the family as the child matures. Birthdays mark the points of additional freedoms and responsibilities for a child.
Recognizing Our Achievements as Adults At A Birthday Celebration
Recognizing the passage into full and late adulthood with birthday celebrations is just as important as when we were children. Once a member of the family becomes an adult, he knows what responsibilities are expected of him; the elder members of a family are honored and respected for their wisdom on this special day. All of these things are brought into the annual counting of the years that mark the milestones one has reached.
Incorporating and recognizing special accomplishments from the previous year, such as a new job, a marriage, or other life-changing event, will add to the rejoicing in birthday celebrations and can further unite and strengthen family and communal bonds. Recognizing our achievements at a birthday celebration adds an element of ritual that can have a profound effect on us and remind us that we are sacred.
Each family can make the ritual as simple or elegant as they wish. By adding rituals into your birthday celebrations, they are more easily recognized as the rites of passage that they are, and this is the best common denominator we all have in the great melting pot of cultures.
It's time to take our birthday celebrations to the next level, honoring them as the rites of passage and markers of growth for the individual that they are. In so doing, we can redefine this time of festivity as the great American ritual.
©2012 by Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff, et al. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hierophant Publishing.
Dist. by Red Wheel/Weiser, Inc. www.redwheelweiser.com
This article was adapted with permission from:
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About the Author
Patricia Cohen is a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking through the Beloved Community. Having six brothers and a sister launched her on a journey of exploring and working in the world of children, searching for a better way to help them thrive. A former President of the Board of the Nevada County Jewish Community Center, Vice President of the Board of the Mariposa Waldorf School, Vice President of the Board and Program Coordinator of New Frontiers of the Gold Country with her education in human development and working with children in the religious school, private school, public school, day care center and juvenile hall has qualified her to bring the benefit of ritual and tradition to the forefront of our lives for the unification of families. Visit her website at www.sacredamerican.com.