So much of our success with indigos includes figuring out how to partner with them, motivate them internally, and guide them toward making smart choices. Embracing your indigos' energy -- the upside, and challenges (triggers) -- helps you do a very important role for them, which is guide them to their unique greatness.
Indigo kids are actually quite predictable. They are triggered by the same things over and over again. Understanding the indigo mindset is a primary mechanism for "cracking the code" as to why indigos get triggered. There is almost always an indigo mindset-trigger connection.
The Energy of Triggers
Indigo energy centers are translating words, experiences, and events into blocks of energy that these kids respond to. They have such strong-willed nature and high sensitivity that often the energy they receive is in opposition to what they know to be true. This creates a trigger, and they have a choice (conscious or subconscious) how to respond.
Along with these triggers,there is something else: Indigos cannot be externally motivated. You probably have experienced that punishment doesn't work on them. For example, Jane said, "I am going to tell your father when he gets home" and that was supposed to motivate Johnny to clean his room.
Indigos can only do things from inner motivation. If Jane had taken a different approach and asked Johnny to consider cleaning his room, and said that she would reward him (make a deal) if he did clean his room, I bet Johnny would have mustered the inner motivation to clean his room, especially if the reward was compelling to him (maybe a half hour of video games, or his favorite food).
On the path of parenting indigos it is smart to learn what triggers them, how to avoid those triggers (if possible), and what to do when your kids are triggered. Keep in mind that many indigos aren’t fully aware of what is triggering them, but they know when something feels good and when something is upsetting to them.
As you begin identifying more closely the top triggers of your children, I want to share the top five triggers of the majority of indigo kids. Of course, there are more triggers but these are the most prevalent and pervasive that cut across all cultures, geographies, socioeconomic statuses, and family dynamics.
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Trigger #1: Dishonesty
Indigos get triggered when they perceive life as unfair, someone lying to them, or some system being dishonest. Jamal couldn’t stand his school project being unfair and walked out. One of my other clients, Emma, at age 6 threw a complete tantrum because she swore her mother gave her younger sister more Cheerios in her breakfast bowl.
When indigos perceive an injustice or unfair treatment and the adults in their lives don’t seek to understand them, they get upset, they want someone to know how they feel, and they need to express their emotions.
Trigger #2: Authoritarian Approach
My parents were really strict and parented in an authoritative fashion. It was “their way or the highway,” and that just doesn’t work with indigo energy. I responded the way most indigos would, which was by refusing to adhere to their unjust rules. In other words, I had the earliest curfew of all my friends in high school, and I ignored it because it didn’t seem fair (energy of defiance). Of course, this approach never really worked out well for me given that I got grounded, had to ride the bus a lot but what it did do is honor my inner wisdom that sought to “make fair” these really unfair rules.
Parenting that employs more of a partnership approach works best with indigo kids and is what I recommend over and over again. My mom could have solicited my thoughts and checked in with other parents, and we together could have come up with an approach that honored her need to have me home as well as my wish to have some fun. (Ironically, I was such a good kid anyway!)
The bottom line is that any parenting or teaching approach that is demanding and not inspiring is going to backfire and get unpleasant results. So the more you and your indigos come together to create house rules, chores, and reward systems — or the like — you’ll be on track for creating more harmony in your home and classroom. Of course, it takes a wee bit more work energy up-front, but you’ll be better off in the back end, experiencing less meltdowns and outbursts.
Trigger #3: Communications
Indigos are highly sensitive children. Highly sensitive children aren’t necessarily indigos. It is this highly sensitive nature that is the foundation for indigos and also their mindset that defines them. This sensitivity of indigos is highly sensitive and includes being very responsive to how people speak to them.
One of my child clients, Althea, was 13 when her mother brought her to me. She was labeled as defiant, talking back to her mom and generally not “pulling her weight” in her single-parent home. At the time, I was also Althea’s Sunday school teacher and knew a different side of her as someone incredibly smart, creative, and compassionate toward animals. After working with her and her mom together, I discovered her mom, Phoebe, actually spoke to her in ways that were harsh in tone, demanding, and perceived by Althea as mean.
Indigos are sensitive to the way you speak to them even in tone, language, and energetic feeling conveyed. Phoebe was from a different generation that spoke to kids more from an authoritarian mindset but as I guided her to use softer language, asking not demanding, and generally soliciting Althea’s assistance, things got better.
Trigger #4: Sensory Input (Sensitive, May Be Scared)
Indigos are very sensitive to sensory input such as bright lights, loud noises, pungent odors, and images of violence. They may even develop an irrational fear easily, such as being afraid of people with tattoos. Marcus, one of my preschool-aged clients, did actually develop such a fear. It was affecting his daily life because he would say, “Mom, we can’t go to the playground because we might see someone with a tattoo.”
Understand that underneath every episode of emotional overwhelm and fear is energy misdirected. Marcus was creating a unit of mental energy that “people with tattoos = scary people,” and he wanted to avoid them. His mother, of course, did what she could do to reason with him but to no avail. After several sessions with me, Marcus was able to think about people with tattoos differently and gain some new skills; this is when things improved dramatically.
Trigger #5: Lack of Freedom (Creative, Personal)
Our indigos kids, like us, want to feel free. They want to be able to express their unique talents and greatness every day. Schooling that is the “same old, same old” as when we attended school isn’t going to work for them. Indigos need to get inspired, be allowed to see things differently, and express their unique brand of brilliance.
Indigos also tend to come with intelligences that don’t fit neatly into a box, yet they are highly intelligent and capable of succeeding. What this means from a very traditional sense is that indigos need someone in their school or educational world to “see” them and usher their gifts forward, versus only seeing them through the eyes of a standardized or end-of-grade test.
Alex, age 10, is one of my child clients. He’s in fifth grade and reads at a 12th-grade reading level, but he also flunked science. Indigos are usually uniquely patterned for their purpose, and our role is to help them gain basic life skills (reading, writing, money management) so they can fulfill their divine purpose, whatever that may be. Alex was feeling stuck in school with rigid, boring projects and deeply wished for something more creative. His mom changed him to a program that allowed him to continue with Latin, Spanish, and his other language-related gifts while learning scientific concepts creatively. This freedom to learn in a more open, creative, and expressive way was a perfect match for Alex, and he slept better each night.
Indigos yearn to be free, express their talents, and have their own space to create, create, and create again. When they are constrained by rigid systems they tend to either shut down inwardly or get triggered with outbursts.
Perfection: Remembering Source
Many Indigo kids have the tendency toward perfection. They came with the intention to help Planet Earth raise its consciousness toward that of Source, which is perfect, and they mistakenly believe they can make everything perfect.
Another way of understanding the energy of Perfectionism is it's the same energy of unconditional Love, Beauty, and Truth. You can teach your little one those are ideals to work toward, and bring more of here -- but on this Planet right now it's important to do your best, and release the rest. This is what brings happiness -- not the need (desperate need) to be perfect and do everything right.
Reprinted, with permission of the publisher,
from The Energetic Keys to Indigo Kids © 2013 Maureen Dawn Healy.
Published by New Page Books a division of Career Press,
Pompton Plains, NJ. 800-227-3371. All rights reserved.
Article Source: Chapter 6 of the book
The Energetic Keys to Indigo Kids: Your Guide to Raising and Resonating With the New Children
by Maureen Dawn Healy.
Maureen Healy tackles the subject of indigo children from a whole new vantage point: energy. Aimed at healers, stay-at-home moms, and parents who are struggling to understand the unique qualities of their indigo children. You will learn to see indigos from an energetic perspective -- how they think, how they make decisions, what they need, how they heal, and what triggers them the most -- as well as how to get them back on track, prevent meltdowns, and, ultimately, see them succeed.
About the Author
Maureen Dawn Healy is a spiritual teacher, energy worker, and counselor working with parents and children throughout the world. Her previous book, Growing Happy Kids, helps parents nurture a deeper type of confidence and, ultimately, happiness in their children. Maureen also writes a popular blog on Psychology Today's Website and for the PBS series This Emotional Life. She has appeared on ABC, NBC, and the CW, has written for numerous popular magazines, and can be heard on a wide variety of radio programs. Her Website is www.growinghappykids.com.