You Are My Valentine: Loving the One You're With

Are You My Valentine? Loving the one you're with
There can be plenty of tension associated with Valentine's Day. One cold, dreary February 14th, I am at the grocery store at 5 p.m. In the parking lot I can see men getting out of their cars and scurrying into the store. Inside at the express lane checkout counter are five men standing in line, each holding a dozen roses...

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A Woman

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A WomanTo be vulnerable with a woman is to allow yourself to be seen and known in your entirety, not just your powerful, independent, secure, loving and capable self. To be vulnerable is to show her your fear, pain, shame, and need for love.

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Characteristics merely reflect gross exaggerations of important evolutionary qualities that we actually want in a long-term partner.

Why People Cheat on Their Partners

Why People Cheat on Their PartnersWe all know what infidelity is, but a universal definition is difficult to carve out—especially in the digital age. Is watching porn cheating, or is it only cheating if the person on the other side of the screen is live?

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We Kiss

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We KissSimple behavioural tests have now allowed us to see how this organisation is revealed through biases in how we see and interact with the world – and each other – often without us being aware of it.

How to Stay in Love: The Secret of the Best Relationship

The Secret of the Best Relationship

Everyone wants to stay in love, so why do some relationships make it, while others don’t? Why does the love in some relationships flourish, while getting buried in others? What are the secrets of a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

When Sex Roles Get Reversed, Some Females Develop A Penis

A male African jacana bird mounts a female, but who takes the lead in caring for the young?. In many species, the males develop elaborated sexual traits to attract females and dissuade potential rival males through competition.

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually Want

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually WantHeterosexual men have unwanted sex with women for two reasons, interviews with 39 college men suggest: in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions.

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing Up

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing UpAllegations about sexual harassment in Hollywood, British politics and various other sectors have exposed a reality already familiar to most women.

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?There’s no doubt: Fewer people are making a commitment to marriage. Barely “more than half of adults in the U.S. say they’re living with a spouse. It is the lowest share on record, and down from 70 percent in 1967.”

How Sharing Parenting Duties Could Be Key To Marital Bliss

sharing parental duties 10 5The quality of women’s relationships with their partner is diminished if they view their parenting division as unfair or want to spend more time working, our new study of employed parents in Canada has found.

Words of Wisdom That Changed My Perception

Words of Wisdom That Changed My PerceptionThe list was one I never thought I would make. I stared at the book titles I had jotted down for reference; each of them looked at divorce from a different angle. I felt I was at the end of my rope as I drifted farther and farther away from any hope of restoring the unity we...

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And Why

Who's Avoiding Intercourse, And WhySex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex.

Don’t Hold Back! Love With All Your Heart!

Don’t Hold Back! Love With All Your Heart!When I was twenty-seven, a woman friend became frustrated with how much love and attention I was giving my husband. I was making my relationship with him my top priority, even over career and friends. She saw my devotion as old fashioned and “unliberated.”

A New Way To Think About Dementia And Sex

A New Way To Think About Dementia And SexPersons living with dementia don’t have sex. Or they have weird sex. Or they have dangerous sex, in need of containment.

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

How To Have A Satisfying Relationship?

When Joan Holloway – the bombshell office worker on the show “Mad Men” – enters a room, she knows she looks good and is going to turn heads.

The 3 Parts of Relationship Commitment

The 3 Parts of Relationship CommitmentWhat does it mean to be fully committed in a monogamous relationship? The traditional meaning has to do with focusing your romantic energies only upon your partner. You are not committed if you have “one foot outside the door,” meaning you are still available for romantic relationship with another person.

5 Sleeping Beauty Relationship Rules

5 Sleeping Beauty Relationship Rules"A childless royal couple finally has a baby... Life spins along normally for the next sixteen or so years. One day, the princess discovers..."

Trust Is The Foundation of Love, Yet How Do You Build It?

Trust Is The Foundation of Love, Yet How Do You Build It?Trust is the foundation of love. Yet how do you build it? With monotonous regularity you hear your friends and colleagues say, "You can't trust anyone anymore." Almost every popular magazine you open has an article about how couples cheat on each other. Yes, a majority of married men and women do...

When Love Turns To Hatefully Ever After

When Love Turns To Hatefully Ever AfterIt’s often said that the opposite to love is not hate, it’s indifference. Why then are some of us so seemingly fickle in our ability to switch from love to hate in an instant? The Conversation

Your Exes Share More Than Being Just Your Type

Your Exes Share More Than Being Your Just Your TypeWhat do your exes have in common? A new study finds that the people we date share many similarities—both in terms of appearance and personality.

7 Primary Ingredients For A REALationship

7 Primary Ingredients For A REALationshipREALationship. Okay, it’s a cute word. But what does it mean to have a real relationship, a relationship with substance? What does it take to have a relationship that not only lasts, but also thrives with loving connection?

Why Is It Important To Get Real and “Love Smart”?

Getting Real and “Loving Smart”It’s up to you to take smart risks with love. You don’t want to put your heart in the care of anybody who’s going to hide their true self, treat you poorly, and/or turn out to be psychologically unavailable. Trust must be earned and renewed regularly by our actions.

Why Who Wears The Pants In A Relationship Matters

Why Who Wears The Pants In A Relationship MattersWhen it comes to power in romantic relationships, men are often cast as dominant and women as deferential. But working against this are caricatures of domineering women with their “hen-pecked husbands” and “whipped boyfriends.” The Conversation

Why Men And Women Lie About Sex

Why Men And Women Lie About SexWhen it comes to reporting the number of sex partners or how often they have sexual intercourse, men and women both lie. While men tend to overreport it, women have a tendency to underreport it.

Women Troll On Dating Apps Just As Often As Men

Women Troll On Dating Apps Just As Often As MenOnline dating is an increasingly popular way for people to find love, but that also makes it an attractive target for those with less than romantic intentions.

There Were Same-Sex Marriage Ceremonies In Renaissance Rome

There Were Same-Sex Marriage Ceremonies In Renaissance RomeIn the late 16th century, the famous French essayist Michel de Montaigne wrote about two marriages between people of the same sex. At the time, same-sex marriages were not recognized by religious or civil law...

How To Turn Your Emotional Baggage Into Dating Success

How To Turn Your Emotional Baggage Into Dating SuccessIt may seem that new relationships are entirely fuelled by dreams and hopes for a perfect future. But the past can have a powerful influence too – often more so than we would like to admit

Why Is Tinder So Evilly Satisfying?

Why Is Tinder So Evilly Satisfying?In America, 60 percent of digital media consumption now occurs on mobile or tablet devices instead of desktop computers.

What Plato Can Teach You About Finding A Soulmate

What Plato Can Teach You About Finding A SoulmateIn the beginning, humans were androgynous. So says Aristophanes in his fantastical account of the origins of love in Plato’s Symposium.

How To Make Marriage Stronger at the Broken Places

The Secret of a Great Marriage: From a Frog to a Prince?My favorite fairy tale as a child was Cinderella, so when I met Charlie and fell in love with him, I thought my prince had come. But these kinds of fantasies are a setup for expectations that are impossible to fulfill...

Here’s The Science Behind These 5 Classic Love Songs

Here’s The Science Behind These 5 Classic Love SongsIn honor of Valentine’s Day, here are five love songs that pose serious scientific questions. Experts from the University of Melbourne offer insights about the evolution of love, how it changes our bodies, and what human couples can learn from prairie voles and spiders.

Why You Should Date Your Best Friend

Why You Should Date Your Best FriendBeing someone’s BFF is a big deal – you don’t hand over the other half of your “Best Friends” necklace to just anyone. Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect.

Being Lovesick Was A Real Disease In The Middle Ages

Being Lovesick Was A Real Disease In The Middle AgesLove sure does hurt, as the Everly Brothers knew very well. And while it is often romanticised or made sentimental, the brutal reality is that many of us experience fairly unpleasant symptoms when in the throes of love.

We All Want Funny Mates But That’s Not Quite Enough

We All Want Funny Mates But That’s Not Quite EnoughStudy after study affirms that people want a partner with a sense of humor. But it’s less about cracking jokes than about finding a style of humor that makes you both laugh.

Connecting Emotionally: An Essential Part of Happy Relationships

Connecting Emotionally: An Essential Part of Happy RelationshipsWhether people are struggling to save a marriage, to cooperate in a family crisis, or to build rapport with a difficult boss, they usually have one thing in common: They need to share emotional information that can help them feel connected.

Is The Point Of Sex To Boost a Woman's Immune System?

Is The Point Of Sex To Boost a Woman's Immune System?Most people think just one sperm is needed to fertilize a woman’s egg and make a healthy pregnancy. However, biologists now believe sexual intercourse is not just a sperm delivery process, but also a kind of biological communication.

How To Be Your Own Relationship Therapist

How To Be Your Own Relationship TherapistMaybe you can't see an obvious reason why you haven't found happiness in your relationships, but somehow it's not happening as you envisioned. You can't seem to locate the answers that will bring everything together. Don't give up. Understanding is a journey...

Why Sex Gets Better In Older Age

Why Sex Gets Better In Older AgeAging is generally associated with improvements in our quality of life: We become more proficient in our work, learn how to manage our finances better and our bonds with loved ones deepen.

Is Feminism Killing Romance?

Is Feminism Killing Romance?Heterosexual romantic relationships have historically been all about men courting and “keeping” women. And it’s a powerful tradition.

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIV

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIVIn a relationship there are myriad issues to manage. Who walks the dog? Does his mother like me? Whom are we supporting to win RuPaul’s “Drag Race All Stars 2”? But there is one issue that can often be harder to manage – how do we as a couple deal with HIV?

Teens Can't Tell The Difference Between Love Or Abuse

Many Teens Can’t Tell The Difference Between Love Or AbuseMany people involved in abusive partner relationships don’t think of the mistreatment as abuse, say researchers. Yet over the course of a lifetime, one-fourth to one-third of women in the United States will experience abuse from an intimate partner.

Why Super-niche Dating Apps Are No Shortcut To Love

Why Super-niche Dating Apps Are No Shortcut To LoveAttempting to game the mysteries of love – or, in dating site eHarmony’s terms, “the secret sauce of attraction” – is nothing new. Equally old, of course, is the failure inherent in all such attempts to do so.

How To Overcome That First Date Anxiousness?

How To Overcome That First Date Anxiousness? Does anxiety keep getting in the way of you making connections with the people you’d like to spend more time with? Maybe you’ve just met someone, but are worried that your anxiety will ruin it all.

Will I Ever Love Again?

Will I Ever Love Again?People in the throes of a breakup universally express the fear that they will never love again. I was afraid of this myself for a few months after losing my life partner. In the midst of the despair and hopelessness, we believe that losing our loved one means losing the possibility for love and connection forever.

When And Why Do We Feel Like Sex?

When And Why Do We Feel Like Sex?Sexual desire can change from moment to moment. One minute you’re feeling frisky, and the next you just feel like a cup of tea and a nap.

Why Child Sex Abuse Doesn't Create Pedophiles

Why Child Sex Abuse Doesn't Create PedophilesA popular misconception is that most child sex offenders were once victims themselves. The theory is based on the erroneous assumption that they’ve become paedophiles – those preferentially sexually attracted to prepubescent children – because of their victimisation.

Sex May Threaten Older Men’s Heart But Not So For Women

Sex May Threaten Older Men’s Heart But Not So For WomenHaving sex frequently—and enjoying it—may put older men at higher risk for heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems. For older women, however, good sex may actually lower the risk of hypertension.

How Love, Compassion, and Money Are Linked Together

How Love, Compassion, and Money Are  Linked TogetherThere's a psychological war that goes on in us humans between self-hate and self-love. It's a part of another battle that persists: the energy war between living and dying, building energy and depleting energy. The two issues are wrapped up with abundance and love, and they can very dramatically affect your ability to earn money and pull abundance to you...

The Science Of Attraction Of A Suitable Mate

The Science Of Attraction Of A Suitable MateThe selection and attraction of a suitable mate is of fundamental importance to all species. It is perhaps not surprising then that dating programmes, featuring men and women competing for the attentions of a potential partner, are so popular.

The Blessing of Differences in Relationships

The Blessing of DifferencesDifference exist only on the surface. People sometimes use their differences as an excuse for their lack of closeness. And yet these differences can be a great blessing, and almost force a couple to go to a deeper place where the differences do not exist.

Sexual Double Standards May Leave Students Feeling Disempowered

Sexual Double Standards May Leave Students Feeling DisempoweredOver the past few years, there has been a steady flow of articles in magazines, newspapers and online news outlets examining what hookup culture on college campuses means for sexual norms and behaviors among young adults, particularly young women.

How Does Internet Porn Affect Romantic Life?

Does Internet Porn Affect Romantic Life?The world of internet pornography is a pervasive and wide reaching technology, growing at a breathtaking rate. It is a $13 billion-a-year industry in the US. Nine out of 10 boys in America are exposed to it before the age of 18, and men are 543% more likely to be users than women.

Sexting Might Actually Be A Sign Of A Committed Relationship

Sexting Might Actually Be A Sign Of A Committed RelationshipWhy do people sext? Why do they send racy or naked photos or videos and sexually loaded texts? For a short-term hookup, sexting might seem like a direct way to get what you want

Love Is An Inside Job: The Journey To Whole-Heartedness

Love Is An Inside JobAs a counselor to couples for many years, I’ve learned to spot the distinctive stages we travel through over the course of an intimate relationship. Although these stages are predictable, even inevitable, we have the power to choose how to travel through them as self-aware actors who are in charge of our lives.

Why Nice Guys Do Finish First With Girls

Why Nice Guys Do Finish First With GirlsMaking friends is tough for teenagers. Making friends with the opposite sex can be even tougher. Our research, published in the Journal of Personality, suggests empathy may be the key to developing friendships, and may be especially important for young men establishing supportive friendships with young women.

When Science Meets Sex, Lust, Attraction And Attachment

When Science Meets Sex, Lust, Attraction And AttachmentYou are on holiday with your partner of several years. Your relationship is going pretty well, but you wonder if it could be better. It’s Valentine’s Day and you find a bottle on the beach. You rub it. A love genie appears. He (or she) will grant you three special Valentine wishes. Here are some of your choices:

Why Good Sex Ed Doesn't Lead To Teen Pregnancy

Sex ed should be inclusive, empowering, and facilitate ethical sexual relationships. lauren rushing/Flickr, CC BY-NC-NDComprehensive, inclusive sexuality and relationships education (“sex ed”) teaches children and adolescents in age-appropriate ways that sexuality is a normal, healthy part of life.

Why Are Fewer People Getting Married?

Why Are Fewer People Getting Married?June kicks off the U.S. wedding season. Whether you love nuptials or hate them, an astounding trend is occurring: fewer couples are tying the knot.

When New Moms Are Stressed, Sex Life Takes A Hit

When New Moms Are Stressed, Sex Life Takes A HitAfter having their first baby, new parents report being only somewhat satisfied with their sex lives. The stress levels of moms—but not dads—may be a reason why.

How Do We Choose A Partner?

What’s inside also counts. kira cronin/Flickr, CC BY-NC-NDWe know a lot about why people choose different brands of dishwashing detergent, because companies spend billions of dollars investigating who buys what. But when it comes to the processes behind perhaps our most significant life choice – choosing a romantic partner – science knows surprisingly little.

Online Dating Has Become A Hobby, One That Is Often Not Even That Fun

Online Dating Has Become A Hobby, One That Is Often Not Even That FunThe scene described in Nancy Jo Sales’s huge Tinder report published in Vanity Fair magazine featured groups of twenty-something friends and colleagues in a Manhattan bar relaxing after work. But rather than socialising with each other they were engrossed in the more private world of their mobile phones, seeking something completely personal: a sexual partner (albeit not necessarily just for sex).

Most Turn Their Nose Up When Love Is Sold To Them

Most Turn Their Nose Up When Love Is Sold To ThemMatchmaking and dating services used to advertise in small rectangles on tube carriages, next to the vitamin drinks and food delivery services, and in smaller rectangles still on the classified pages of newspapers and magazines.

Can Being A Good Storyteller Lead To Love?

Can Being A Good Storyteller Lead To Love?Everyone loves a good story, but can a good story lead to love? Storytelling is a fundamental form of communication, and research has demonstrated the power of narratives to change minds and influence behavior.

What Does Science Says About Love

What Does Science Says About LoveWe’ve all felt it at some time in our lives. Poets write about it, singers sing about it – and a whole industry has grown up around finding it, expressing it and maintaining it. But what is love? Where does it reside? What triggers it? And what’s really going on in our minds and bodies when we fall “head over heels”?

Do Women Really Go For Bad Boys?

Do Women Really Go For Bad Boys? “Nice guys finish last” is one of the most widely believed maxims of dating. Fleshed out, the idea goes something like this: heterosexual women might say they want nice characteristics in a partner, but in reality what they want is the challenge that comes with dating a “bad boy”.

Do Abstinence Pledges Prevent Teen Pregnancy And Sexually Transmitted Diseases?

Do Abstinence Pledges Prevent Teen Pregnancy And Sexually Transmitted Diseases?In the United States, the teen pregnancy rate is higher than in any other western industrialized country, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). At the same time, a growing number of American teens and young adults have been diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Here's How Kids Ruin Your Romantic Relationship

romance spoiled by kids 5 10Lots of women look forward to motherhood – getting to know a tiny baby, raising a growing child, developing a relationship with a maturing son or daughter. All over the world, people believe that parenting is the most rewarding part of life.

The Greatest Taboo? What The Bible Says About Incest

The Greatest Taboo? What The Bible Says About IncestIncest sparks strong emotions – and today, in many cultures at least, they are largely negative. But has it always been thus? Or is the taboo peculiar to certain times and places?

Does The G-spot Exist?

Does The G-spot Exist?It is perhaps one of the most controversial debates in sexual function: is there or isn’t there a G-spot? And if there is, how do we find it?

Do Deep Voices Make Guys More Scary Than Sexy?

Do Deep Voices Make Guys More Scary Than Sexy?"Masculine traits in humans are not the same as, say, in peacocks where the beautiful tail attracts a mate," says David Puts. "For example, beards make men more dominant looking, scarier, and seemingly more dangerous, but most women prefer clean-shaven men."

The Relationship Myth of Living Happily Ever After

The Relationship Myth of Living Happily Ever AfterTrue or false: *Couples with great relationships don’t fight. * Most people expect too much from marriage. * All the good men/women are already taken. * Love can heal all wounds. * If my partner were more like me, we’d have a better relationship.

True Intimacy: We Crave It Yet We Fear It!

True Intimacy: We Crave It Yet We Fear It!Someone once said that intimacy is spelled into-me-see. Thinking it of it that way sheds light on why it frightens us. Letting someone see into us when we are afraid of letting them see our hidden "faults and foibles" can be frightening...

7 Deal Breakers When Looking For Love

7 Deal Breakers When Looking For Love"A lot of times, just by avoiding negative traits, people will probably be fairly well off—maybe even more well off—than if they were trying to optimize the best potential partner," says Gregory Webster.

How Long Does Sex Normally Last?

How Long Does Sex Normally Last?The difficult thing is how to measure it, because people will probably over-estimate. If you’re a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex “normally” last?

To Really Trust a Woman...

To Really Trust a Woman...Becoming vulnerable with a woman teaches you all about trust. I often hear, “I’ll be more vulnerable with her when I trust her more.” This attitude doesn’t work. Your vulnerability opens the door to trust, and trust opens the door to love.

There Are No Rules Of Attraction When It Comes To Meeting Your Match

There Are No Rules Of Attraction When It Comes To Meeting Your MatchSome time ago, I found myself single again (shock, horror!) and decided to get back into the world of dating. One thing that struck me very early on in my forays was that everyone had an opinion about “what worked” in terms of dating.

Gender Fluidity Is Great — But Only If You're Famous

Gender Fluidity Is Great — But Only If You're FamousFor all that Miley Cyrus’s cropped hair and crotch-clutching and “I don’t relate to being boy or girl” have inspired articles about gender fluidity as the new “in” thing, it’s hard not to see Cyrus’s “trailblazing” as derivative of David Bowie – a true icon in so many ways, not least in his defiant smashing of gender norms.

Researchers Close In On The Mystery Of Why Sex Evolved

Researchers Close In On The Mystery Of Why Sex EvolvedThe reason why, in terms of evolution, organisms have sex may seem rather obvious – they do it to reproduce. Clearly, natural selection must favour individuals who can reproduce over those who can’t. But this is missing the point. For many species there is an alternative: asexual reproduction.

To Be Happy, Find Someone Like You

To Be Happy, Find Someone Like YouRelationships are often interpreted as the outcome of an exchange of goods and services. Common knowledge says that the sexes want different things from a partner.

Why Boys Need To Have Conversations About Emotional Intimacy

What parents don’t know about teenage boys. Davidlohr Bueso, CC BYAmerican classrooms do not talk frankly about teenage love or emotional intimacy. Last month, Tom Porton, an award-winning, veteran Bronx high school teacher, handed in his resignation after colliding with the school’s principal.

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