Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us

Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us

Lately, I’ve been really enjoying listening to audio guided meditations about manifesting one’s ideal romantic partnership. The best two that I can recommend are the “Soulmate Secret” materials by Arielle Ford which focuses on “using the law of attraction to manifest the love of your life”, and “Attracting Your Soul Mate” a guided meditation audio download by Sanaya Roman.

Soulmate Secret Teachings

Arielle Ford has successfully used the law of attraction for decades to grow her business and develop a wonderful life. When, in her 40s, she found herself still single, she decided to apply these laws to manifest the love of her life. Not long after that, at age 44 she met and married her husband of over 12 years, Brian Hilliard.

In all of Arielle’s anthologies (including her popular Hot Chocolate series, in the style of Chicken Soup for the Soul) she has been wonderfully diverse in including stories from same-gender-loving folks. In the Soulmate Secret, she stresses that everyone, absolutely everyone, can have a wonderful love life and partner, if they believe they can. And that is the key -- you need to believe you can. Arielle says that no matter what your age, build, or financial status, you can have the love of your life. Gay or straight, disabled or able-bodied, thin or fat, rich or poor, you can have the love of your life.

That information made me feel good as a late bloomer, and I started getting into the flow of the Soulmate Secret teachings. However, as I was studying and meditating on the materials, something began bugging me a bit. I noticed I was having some resistance to the repeated mention of the “one true love” model.

I found I was getting stuck at the repeated mentions of "having one partner for the rest of your life". At first, I took this resistance to mean I needed to expand my capacity for joy – that I hadn’t yet wrapped my mind around having a “healthy” relationship, and that this discomfort was a sign I needed to look at and change my mind, feelings, and expectations.

But, when I explored this further over several weeks, I realized something: I didn’t want what Arielle and many of her contributors wanted. Well, I wanted most things: a loving, caring partner who was self-caring and was also well caring of me, someone kind, with whom I felt safe, trusting, and cherished. I wanted those things. What I didn’t want was monogamy.

Get Clear on What You Want

Yes, you absolutely can have what you want. But you have to be clear about it! Decide it for yourself in your mind and in your heart, and say it out loud and write it down and focus on it and wear the energy of it. And very importantly, live as if you already have it, and be it until you have it on the physical plane. You don’t just look at what everyone else is doing and ignore inner signs that those things may not be for you. Listen to your inner self and go where you are led.

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Obey your yearnings, passions, and desires. The Soulmate Secret gave a great example of this: Arielle’s list of characteristics for her ideal mate included gray hair. She had never been attracted to men with gray hair before, but something told her to write this down, and she did. Brian turned out to not only have gray hair, but it had turned gray in his 20s.

I have a theory of attraction: I believe that when we want something, it is somewhere not too far from us (spiritually) wanting us too. The reason Arielle thought to write “gray hair” was because Brian was not far away, wanting a mate just like Arielle, and his call reached out to her and she felt it. She picked up the imprint of his signal and began to piece together the map they would travel to meet each other.

Be Passionate About What You Desire

I love standing in line at street vendors’ carts and listen to people order their food. Everyone orders their food differently than the person behind them, and many are very serious and passionate about their food being prepared just right. That’s how it is in all of life. We are wired to want exactly what we what, exactly how we want it, and it’s out there – we can have it! Know what you like, be honest about it, and go for it, knowing that it is out there waiting and reaching out to you.

The universe expands when we all live our dreams, and seek our deepest joys. As Arielle states, healthy, wonderful love isn’t just for some people but for everyone, and that includes those of us who have always been on the edge of the mass culture  – lightworkers, LGBT, kinky, polyamorous, bohemian, artistic, spiritually-eclectic rebels of society’s norms. We are worthy of the same kind of wonderful, lasting love accessible to everyone else, and we can make a choice to believe that and become it.

Book Recommended by the Author:

Recommended book: The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford.The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction
by Arielle Ford.

Click here for more info and/or to order the paperback book
or for the unabridged audio book - 4 CDs.

About The Author

Cassendre Xavier, author of the article: Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us

Cassendre Xavier is an award-winning, multi-media arts performer and organizer based in Philadelphia. She has released several recordings of original music described as “a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade and Enya” (Steven M. Wilson, Borders Music), had her multi-genre writing published internationally, and is the founder and director of Philadelphia’s annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (est. 2003). Visit for more information.


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