Finding Love at Work

You could find the relationship of your dreams right under your nose. Did you ever think of the work place as a primary source of dating opportunities? If you are thinking: not me; no way!, well, stop and reconsider. Coworkers may be the very people who fill the most cherished places in your life.

Dating Do's and Don'ts

Much has been said about not dating coworkers, and there are good reasons to follow that advice. However, your options are seriously limited if you eliminate the place you spend most of your time from your scope. There are, however, special considerations to take into account.

First, the work place is not the environment to try out the spiciest dating trends. The suggestions I will offer for meeting partners relate mostly to extracurricular activities and not to the arena where you do your work. Then, once the two of you become an item, new rules kick in. If you use discretion you will never give a boss or a coworker an uncomfortable moment. I do recommend that you let others know you are dating. That way, if they see you on the street they won't be shocked since they normally see you interacting in a professional capacity.

Second, although your jobs may require that you collaborate in your work, be sure neither of you lingers too long at the other's workstation. Keep the doors open. Don't get lost at lunch either, or come back with lipstick on your cheek or shirt collar. Coworkers have radar. When they know you are dating, you can be sure they will look for telltale signs. So will your boss.

That brings me to rule number three, please don't date the boss unless the two of you keep it strictly out of the work place. If you become serious about each other, make quiet plans to relocate one of you to another position. Once the word gets out subordinates may be looking for signs of favoritism and the dynamics get messy.

Fourth, talk yourself out of dating a married coworker -- no matter how magnetic the attraction! People pick up vibes on affairs. Your visible dating space has limits and you could do something foolish, like baring your passions on the boss' desk. (I'm not kidding.) An example of this scenario involved an air Moon secretary and a fire Moon telephone repairman (both married) who carried on a hot romance for years. When she knew her boss would be stepping out for a few hours, the air sign would summon the fire sign to fix the ailing phones. Yep, those wires went on the fritz several times a week. Within moments of the boss' departure, the faithful fire responded to her urgent call. The real fire was in the boss' darkened conference room where the lovebirds would retreat for their afternoon delight. Everyone in the office knew about it except the boss until the fateful day that he returned unexpectedly. Can you imagine his shock when he flung open the door of his conference room to retrieve a presentation portfolio and got an X-rated view of his secretary and her lover in the throes of passion?

And finally, while not everyone in love takes the bare approach in the actual work setting, other indiscretions do occur. Avoid sending love letters via e-mail, or chain mail, or any form of communication that others may see. It doesn't matter whether your loved one is a client or an off-site contact. You'll stimulate the office grapevine because your unprofessional behavior wastes company time and money. Ditto for you frequent flyers. When traveling together for legitimate work commitments, don't book connecting rooms in your hotel. Who are you kidding? If you meet while on a trip, remember that long-distance romances are among the most difficult to sustain.

So, as I said, you can find the relationship of your dreams right under your nose, so let's proceed and check it out.

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The Work Scene

This dating arena, also known as your work environment, varies in tone given the diversity of professions. Work place politics influence the climate.

Liken the possible scenarios to the many colors in the spectrum. Opportunity is either enhanced by an open, people-friendly setting, or diminished by a business-only outlook. Understanding the underlying philosophy will give you a clue about how intra-company dating might be viewed. Be sure you understand existing policies. Many companies discourage employee fraternization. What's it like where you work? If you are clueless, check out the organizational directory for evidence of employed couples and the grapevine for an informal read.

Larger organizations seem more open to employing bonded couples if there are no conflicts of interest along supervisory lines. Some companies are okay with hiring married couples, but discourage pursuit of a hot romance on company time. Officials would rather see Mars and Venus do their thing on neutral turf, and embarrassing moments disrupt productivity. Employee discomfort mushrooms when they see coworkers sneaking a smooch in the hallway or necking in the parking lot after lunch. Not all work settings involve large numbers of other employees observing the love bug in action.

Sometimes your future partner comes to you in response to your need for help. Employees in service industries report meeting future partners while responding to a call to duty. Think of repair specialists who visit your home when the air conditioning, plumbing, or electricity is on the fritz. The cop on the beat can have fluttery heartstrings while gathering information from an attractive victim of an office mugging. She may even call back to make sure the victim is healing and check out the left hand for signs of a wedding band.

Consider the opportunities of personal care providers such as hair stylists, fitness trainers, and estheticians who meet a variety of people on a daily basis. Individuals who seek their services come to them and talk about their lives. The client's love life is often the chief topic of discussion. Before long a level of trust develops and you are trading notes. (They already have your telephone number!) True to the nature of the air element (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) relate favorably to one another. Likewise, the earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) get along with signs in the water element (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces).

So where does love come in? Just think about the amount of time spent interacting with others in the work place. You meet people who share common interests, educational experiences, philosophies, and maybe similar goals. Individuals with Moons in harmonious astrological elements seem to get along better in relationships. Communication flows from the boardroom to the lunchroom and beyond.

Although an understanding of Moon sign compatibility gives you insight into the possible dynamics, it is seldom enough proof that a relationship is solid. Your astrology chart reflects your blueprint for this lifetime, and presents a total picture of your emotional needs and passions through the expression of your personal natal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. If you have these planets in the Sixth House, you automatically increase your chances for meeting someone through your work that becomes a dating partner. The odds go up tremendously when a prospective partner has planets in favorable aspect to your Sixth House placements. If the natal planets make contact with transiting planets (current movement of the planets), the relationship develops. That means your adrenaline starts pumping every time this wonderful person comes near you. You may not remember anything you say because the transiting planets are generating activity. Just shake up Venus and Mars and you have a little heart action.

Style and Substance

If you are wondering how the elements express their love in the work place, this overview may give you the information. Fire Moons (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) demonstrate their passion and responsiveness. This element has a deep awareness of their magnetism and falls in love easily. Once attracted, fire signs put considerable energy into getting to know you. Regardless of gender, they facilitate private encounters to find out what makes you tick. They want to eliminate competition, so before long you'll be sharing lunch, discussing your favorite recreation spots, and exploring weekend plans. Leave it to fire signs to find a way to get you to say "yes" to that first date. These high-energy types will include you in work-related projects or social events and off-site get-togethers with their friends. Do these qualities appeal to you? Know that with fire ruling your Sixth House of work, you could attract this type of partner. If you are not interested, it won't take a fire sign long to catch on and quickly back away. Pride is a big thing with them, and they won't want colleagues to catch them in the throes of rejection.

Members with earth Moons (Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn) develop a work place relationship much more slowly than their fire peers. If you are particularly grounded and committed to your career, you'll probably catch the eye of an earth sign when this element influences your Sixth House of work. They'll probably start out by looking at your place in the organization and evaluating your contributions. For earth signs, passion often begins after they've observed outstanding performance in the work place. Earth looks for a strong work ethic, ambition, and financial security in prospective partners. When an earth sign discovers your charms, you may find yourself under quiet surveillance. This more reserved type makes it a point to engage you in conversations or pick your brain at meetings and conferences. Since they enjoy self-development, don't be surprised if a smitten earth supervisor or colleague shows up in the same training session as you more than once -- it is no coincidence.

Earth may also show an interest in your travel schedule and look for opportunities to link up in distant places. Rather than meet you for lunch in the company cafeteria, a normally discreet earth may feel more comfortable dining with you while you are both in travel status. If you don't mind talking shop in the early stages of the relationship, rapport with an earth type could take you out of the dating loop and into a secure partnership.

With the air element (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) affecting your Sixth House, the world of communication influences dating opportunities. For one thing, air Moons are generally talkative and prefer intellectual rapport with partners. Their interests are very diverse. They quickly assimilate workplace dynamics, first out of curiosity and then to impress colleagues with their smarts. Air signs wrote the book on networking and unless they are writers, they'll rarely spend a workday in seclusion.

If they are interested in you, you will feel like air types are popping up everywhere you go. And in between those physical meetings, members of this element find every imaginable way to connect with love interests -- the Internet, e-mail, telephone, pager, snail mail, interoffice memo, or a witty verbal exchange over an office partition. Make eye contact with them across a crowded room and expect a wink. Yes, they are flirts, and you may have competition because others are attracted to their easygoing mannerisms.

You can count on air sign's sense of humor and calm facade to reduce tension when the work place has one of those Murphy's Law days. Air signs hope you value their intelligence and problem-solving skills. Dating a member of the air element assures you of an active social life and a variety of mind-expanding experiences.

When the water element (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) influences your work house, you need emotional commitment and support from others. This requirement often emerges in the form of a mentor who notices your potential and coaches your professional development. Initially, they may show a strong protective attitude toward you and be unaware of their growing personal interest. Water signs, with their developed sixth sense, have the inside track on your moods and feelings. They have excellent people skills and feel flattered when you seek their counsel and guidance.

One or more water sign coworkers, clients, or contacts may develop a crush on you and find reason to visit your work place frequently. Members of this element usually sense your receptivity. They will almost surely treat you to an impressive meal, or offer to cook one for you, when the relationship progresses. Don't be surprised if they invite you to family gatherings early in the game. Once love blossoms, the water Moon may pursue you relentlessly and smother you with attention. With the Sixth House water emphasis, you're going to draw partners who show compassion and a desire to cherish their beloved. Since you need depth and intensity in your relationships, you'll soon have evidence of a lasting commitment. Just make sure you save the bear hugs for after hours.

Formula for Work Place Dating

Do you want to know where to find single men and women? I hope you can keep a secret so there won't be a stampede. The fire, earth, air, and water Moons are right under your nose at the work place. All you have to do is get going, and not necessarily out of your way.

Take an inventory of your typical workday. Where do social opportunities occur? The best time to meet a working person is early in the morning, at lunchtime, or after work. As you get to know more about a work colleague, the optimal meeting time will extend to weekend activities.

First, how do you get to work? If you travel alone, consider answering an ad to join a carpool. There may not be a single in the group, but the camaraderie that develops usually leads to social invitations and access to members' friends who are single. Join members for lunch occasionally. They may introduce you to unattached colleagues who have interests you share.

If you ride public transportation, chances are you see the same people at the same bus or subway stop. Have you ever initiated a conversation with another rider? Travel-related exchanges, especially weather conditions, are an easy entry. Ever notice how a snowstorm or sudden downpour serves as an icebreaker for usually stoic passengers? Other starters cover destination, jobs, and companies. Remember that you aren't the only single who is riding. Once you make the right connection, you may be saving a permanent seat for your favorite commuter. I know two couples who met this way.

Don't forget to check a potential date's reading material. You may be able to spot a prospect with a compatible Moon sign. Fire signs read sports, politics, and entertainment materials; earth signs look at the stock market, read historical novels and how-to-get-rich guides; air signs go through at least two magazines per trip and carry the current bestseller; and water signs like the biographies and self-help manuals. "Are you enjoying that book?" is a comment that is sure to get a response when you ask your seatmate for a reading recommendation.

What do you do when you get to work? Do you make a quick stop at the coffee shop before you head to your cubicle? Ever notice that employees from other divisions besides your own stop there also? Some workers are eating breakfast, not just running in for a cup of coffee. Many of them are single. You could leave home a little earlier once or twice a week and have breakfast, too. You could be looking at the sunny side of a relationship in no time. And if your organization has a coffee break ritual, make it a point to set your work aside and join colleagues. This way you'll pick up information on social gatherings and learn all about company-sponsored events.

Remember your opening lines when you spot an interesting single reading in the work place lunchroom or cafeteria. "Mind if I sit here?" seldom gets a turndown, especially if you show an interest in the person's reading material. If bowling, tennis, or softball interest you, find out who is on the team and join it. Does your company have a fitness center? That's where you'll find those fire and earth Moons working out, often over lunch. I'm not saying the airs and waters are not fit, but they will probably use the facilities after hours, so go there to meet new singles.

The best way to meet singles at your work place is to make yourself visible. Volunteer to chair the charity campaign, the holiday dance, the company picnic, or the blood drive. You'll be able to keep your thumb on the pulse beat when it comes to spotting other singles. Do attend conventions, conferences, and off-site meetings. Each event has built-in social opportunities like mixers, awards banquets, and tours that offer a chance to bond. If you have a flair for entertainment or a gift of gab, offer to emcee or present a skit. Each of the elements has a bit of ham in them, especially the fires and airs. Don't pass up training when it is offered either. Your water Moon classmate may be the object of your earth sign desire.

Love in Bloom

If you have personal planets in the Sixth House you are bound to form close ties with work contacts at sometime during your trek through the wonderful world of work. Be open to the possibilities. Potential dates are those very individuals who influence a part of your workday. Some common denominator binds you together whether you share adjoining space or provide a needed service for a client. Savor your good fortune when romance blossoms through your career connections. Your biggest bonus is yet to come. Just make sure you check with me to select the ideal wedding date. See you at the altar.

love at workThis article is excerpted from:

2002 Moon Sign Book, ?2001,
by Llewellyn Worldwide.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Llewellyn Worldwide.

Info/Order the 2003 edition of this book. 

About the Author

Alice DevilleAlice DeVille, an internationally known astrologer and writer, has a busy consulting practice in northern Virginia. She specializes in relationships, career and change management, real estate, and business advice. She has developed nearly seventy workshops related to astrological, metaphysical, and business themes. Alice also writes astrology articles for the website. Contact Alice at [email protected] for further information.


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