a young woman in the mirror - half of her face hidden in vapor 

Image by Shima Abedinzade 

Your deepest thoughts and feelings, the ones that you have never shared with anyone, are yours. No matter how close anyone is to you, there are parts of you that only you know. The practice of talking to yourself, especially out loud, is a vulnerable and sacred act of communion. Saying your thoughts and feelings out loud is transforming their sanctity into actual spoken words.

When you practice rigorous honesty with yourself and get comfortable saying your thoughts out loud, you will no longer hold back on authentically communicating with everyone in your life. Things that normally would throw you onto an emotional roller coaster will no longer be able to decenter you, because you feel safe in your own skin to be and speak your truth.

Be mindful and intentional with the words that you use when speaking to yourself. Give yourself permission to pause and reflect on what’s going on in the present moment, to turn your awareness inward to observe your responses, reactions, and judgments and make sense of what’s going on inside, rather than turning outward toward distractions, addictive substances, or toxic relationships to soothe you.

Reconnecting with the Lost Part of You

Reconnect with the lost parts of yourself by engaging in a curious, compassionate dialogue with these parts, out loud, and tapping into your Higher Self — the wise knower that lives within you. Express your deepest thoughts out loud, create a rock-solid relationship with yourself, and facilitate the courageous pursuit of a fulfilling life.

Question your thoughts with curiosity and kindness. Have fun finding out the type of tone, volume, and inflection to which you best respond. You will become your safest confidante both in times of need and in moments of celebration.

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When you learn to acknowledge every single part that exists inside you, practice being honest with how you really feel, and say your deepest thoughts out loud, you release all the things that have been emotionally clogging you up. And when you become a clear channel for your creative spirit to move through you, your dreams suddenly seem reachable.

Owning Every Part of You  -- the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Rather than being concerned with how others are going to perceive you or fearing that they will see right through you, start owning every single part of you — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your shame shrivels and your confidence expands when you’re being exactly who you want to be, not who you think you should be.

When you own and speak the darkest parts of yourself out loud, people’s opinions of you no longer control you, because you’ve delved into every single part of you and know yourself through and through. When you own your stuff, what can anyone possibly say about you? Sure, they might not like you; they might say things about you behind your back or even to your face.

But when you own who you are and are the embodiment of your truth, you become one with yourself. And as a result of owning every part of you, the next time you go to a social gathering or get ready for a job interview, you’re not concerned with saying and doing the “right” thing; instead, you are clear and confident in who you are, exactly as you are.

How you talk to yourself matters. It sets the tone for every experience in your life. It will bring you either closer to or farther from the truth of who you are. Whether you take the time to speak words of tenderness and care to yourself or use a cold, dismissive tone of voice, how you’ve been speaking to yourself has gotten you up to this point.

Deep inside, you know that parts of you have been suppressed for far too long. You are starting to or have already awakened to the fact that not speaking up for yourself is costing you your mental and emotional well-being. There is power in saying our thoughts out loud. It allows us to step back and ask ourselves, “Is the way that I’m speaking to myself helpful or hurtful?”

Giving a Voice to Every Part of You

My promise to you is this: when you learn how to talk to yourself and give a voice to every single part of you, you won’t hem and haw over what to say or how to say it; instead, you will be direct and confident in your communication. We meet people with as much depth and connection as we are willing to have within ourselves.

You’ll uncomplicate seemingly complicated challenges, all because you have become your own voice of encouragement and reason. You’ll think for yourself rather than constantly ask for feedback. You’ll connect with the wisdom of your body, develop your intuition, and make values-based decisions. You’ll begin to trust that something bigger than yourself truly has been guiding you from day one of your existence and even before you were brought into this physical form.

Moving Through Resistance

There are specific ways to talk to yourself out loud to help you move through any resistance, obstacles, and heavy emotions. Start to notice how you typically speak to yourself. Begin to move toward saying it out loud by identifying the areas where youfeel powerless. This takes an immense amount of honesty with yourself.

When you admit where you feel powerless, then you can really start to notice the triggers that make you believe you are powerless. Your triggers provide you with information to help you understand the underlying beliefs that run your life. Talk to your triggers out loud.

Transform Your Story

The culmination of all your beliefs are the stories of your life, and many of us have been operating as a character in a story. Take the time to transform your story by asking yourself out loud, “Is this the story that I want to keep living?”

Waking up to the reality that your life has been shaped by beliefs and stories that have held you back will bring up many emotions. Give yourself permission to express your feelings out loud. Become more in touch with your intuition, the soft whisper that we tend to ignore. Once you get in the habit of saying your truth out loud, the voice of your intuition will become easier to access.

But be prepared: when you begin to listen to your intuition rather than all the old voices of doubt, resistance inevitably creeps up. It is totally normal to be confronted with that voice that tells you you’re crazy for trusting the soft whisper inside you. Do not be controlled by your resistance; instead, become the voice of motivation and encouragement that you need to keep you going when times get tough. Become the most confident person you know: owning your flaws out loud. When you learn to own your flaws out loud, you become an open book with nothing to hide.

Bring all the parts of you together, and that includes the parts that you’ve kept hidden. Create a safe space to play hide-and-seek with the parts of yourself that you’ve tucked away. Become even more real and honest with yourself. You’re calling out your dark side, holding the mirror up to yourself, and giving each part of you a voice to express itself out loud.

Your job is to be curious about each part of you. That’s inner freedom, my friend. And when you have inner freedom, you can make clear decisions that are aligned with your true desires. You are no longer held back by the opinions of others because you know yourself inside and out and have nothing to hide. Rather than putting on a show for others, you are starting to live a life that is authentically you.

Become More of Who You Really Are

It’s time to reframe how we look at prioritizing ourselves. Work through any feelings of selfishness and guilt that might emerge as you continue to become more of who you really are and prioritize your needs, wants, and desires.

I want you to unashamedly claim the life that you want, which requires you to choose yourself first, every time. Practice voicing your desires and decisions out loud. Become a person with full faith and confidence in your decision-making abilities, someone who is crystal clear about his or her worthiness, able to ask for and receive all that life has to offer.

It is safe to live your life out loud. You can be all of you and still be loved for exactly who you are. I am proof of that, and I want you to access the inner freedom and peace that are already within you. They are yours. You are the one you have been searching for.

Talking to Yourself Out Loud -- A Lifelong Practice

Remember, talking to yourself out loud is a lifelong practice. Years into it, just when you think you’ve uncovered all your stories, another one may pop up. And that’s OK, because you will have learned how to talk to yourself through it, by being curious and compassionate with yourself. Start using your voice as the sacred instrument that it is, an instrument that will guide you to your next step and the next step after that. Because your voice is that powerful.

Trust the power of your voice. Trust that your deepest thoughts and feelings are inside you to be manifested in physical form through creative self-expression. With time, energy, pure presence, and attention inward, you will be, do, and create anything you desire. Give yourself permission to be the type of person who speaks their truth, no matter what. You’re embarking on the most fun, expansive, and exhilarating ride of your life.

Copyright ©2023 by Vasavi Kumar. All Rights Reserved.
Adapted from "Say It Out Loud" with permission
from the publisher, New World Library.

Article Source: Say It Out Loud

Say It Out Loud: Using the Power of Your Voice to Listen to Your Deepest Thoughts and Courageously Pursue Your Dreams 
by Vasavi Kumar

book cover of: Say It Out Loud by Vasavi KumarWhen wellness star Vasavi Kumar suggests “saying it out loud,” she means it literally. Years of journaling in an attempt to learn about herself and meet her goals hadn’t worked, so she decided to talk to herself instead, out loud and with the compassion of a best friend. She used this technique as she journeyed through the challenges of being the daughter of Indian immigrants, a bipolar diagnosis, substance abuse, and recovery. Along the way, Vasavi learned that all the outside expert guidance in the world was no substitute for finding ways of tuning in to her truest inner self, hearing that self’s guidance and wisdom, and then living it with resilience and empathy.

In Say It Out Loud, she gives simple verbal prompts to help you voice your deepest desires and reframe negative self-talk so you can heal from past experiences, go after your dreams, and become more intentional, focused, and compassionate.

Click here for more info and/or to order this paperback book. Also available as an Audiobook and as a Kindle edition.

About the Author

photo of Vasavi KumarVasavi Kumar is a licensed therapist and the outspoken host of the Say It Out Loud with Vasavi podcast, which inspires, encourages, and teaches people to transform the conversation they’re having with themselves internally, so they can spread their beautiful ideas as authentically as possible. She runs the powerful twelve-week Say It Out Loud Safe Haven community for coaches, creatives, and entrepreneurs. Vasavi holds dual master’s degrees, one in special education from Hofstra University and one in social work from Columbia University. Visit her online at VasaviKumar.com.

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