Thankfully, our interpreter was a kindred spirit, highly educated, and the son of two physicians banished to the countryside during the Cultural Revolution. Out of earshot of our ever-constant government companion from Beijing, he talked about his country and his people. He proudly talked about his seven-year-old daughter. He talked of his sadness at not being permitted to have another child. The laws are severe. He would lose his job, his housing, his government subsidy.
Most memorably, he described his conflicting feelings about the adoption process. He shared in the joy of those of us becoming parents and was grateful that these few children would receive good care. But, at the same time, he was profoundly embarrassed for his country, ashamed of the genocide that led to these adoptions. He sang to us a traditional Chinese lullaby: The essence of a child to a nation is like that of a flower to a plant. We were taking away a bouquet.
He made me love China. He made me forgive China.
Love Will Find The Way
The day before we were to meet our children, we all had to be personally interviewed and our papers validated. We were waiting in a bus outside Chinese government offices when something remarkable happened. One couple had made the decision to adopt a nine-year-old child who had spent her life in an orphanage. Her name was ShaoSha. As an older, female child in China, she was considered especially unadoptable, even though the orphanage, recognizing her as an extremely quick and clever child, had managed to raise funds to send her to school. Since the doors had opened on adoptions, she had watched the ongoing exodus as babies left to go to new homes. Like any child, she desperately wanted and needed parents.
When Carol and Leland, third-generation Chinese Americans, had found out about ShaoSha, they'd begun writing and trading pictures. And the rare was about to happen -- an older child was going to be adopted. By now, we had all been shown the photos of this beautiful girl, and, when I looked out the window of the bus and saw a child approaching with a caretaker, I recognized her. I hardly knew what to do or say and blurted out, "I don't know how to put this gently, but there is your daughter."
ShaoSha walked onto the bus and looked around. She recognized Carol and Leland instantly. "Mama, Papa!" Her joy at meeting her parents for the first time was overwhelming to witness and not an eye was dry. Not wanting to wait a moment longer to have her own Mama and Papa, she had come to claim her family. The head of the orphanage came to take her home, because the formal proceedings weren't until the next day. Those of us on the bus argued and won -- ShaoSha stayed at her parents' side. She was home.
The next day, sitting on the hard benches, we waited for our baby. A hot and sweaty group with ShaoSha as our cheerleader, we each stood as our names were called out for the official presentation of a daughter, complete with passport and Chinese good luck money.
Please Meet Your Daughter
"Mr. and Mrs. Winston, we are proud to present your daughter, Fou Chow Wei."
I savor the moment often, remembering as we stepped forward, and saw her for the first time. She was a bundle of attentive energy and looked tiny to me although she weighed over ten pounds. While it might sound self-serving, I could actually feel her little body relax in my arms the moment she was placed there. She knew she was home. Remarkably, she never cried on the trip home. She wanted to see everything. Having been kept inside an orphanage for her first few months, she was extremely sensitive to sunlight but accustomed to noise, because the orphanage was next to an open market.
A week later, we sat at our dinner table enjoying our first official meal as a family of five. Afterwards, the kids asked to be excused. As though he had done this all his life, my son quietly took Nikki from my arms. I heard the baseball game coming from the television in the den and peeked in to see Nikki Winston propped up between her brother and sister, a baseball cap rakishly placed on her head and a baseball glove in her lap.
Has my daring changed the world? No, but it changed the world of our family. Have I cured a disease? No, but I finally gave more than lip service to one of the true ills of humanity. Have I produced an awe-inspiring, world-renowned film? No, but my home videos are surely the stuff of which standing ovations are made around our house.
This article was excerpted with permission from the book:
Women of Courage: Inspiring Stories from the Women Who Lived Them
by Katherine Martin.
This article has been excerpted from "Women of Courage" by Katherine Martin, and reprinted with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA 94949. http://www.nwlib.com.
About The Author
Susan and Nikki and the Winston family have been an inspiration to others who have chosen to adopt even though they already have children. "It proves that love truly does transcend for all who dare," says Susan. Nikki is now a thriving four-year-old and, according to her mom, "She has an infectious laugh and a worldly-wise face that hints a bit at where she's been and just how far she'll go."
