"I am willing to change."
I know -- you want everybody and everything else to change. Your mother, father, boss, friend, sister, lover, landlord, neighbor, minister, or government official must change so that your life can be perfect. It doesn't work that way. If you want change in your life, then you are the one who must do the changing. When you change, then all the other people in your world will change in relation to you.
Are you willing to change?
If you are willing, then you can create the life you say you want. All you have to do is change some thoughts and release some beliefs. Sound simple? It is. However, it's not always easy. We will explore some of the things you may have beliefs about in different areas of your life. If you have positive beliefs, then I urge you to keep them and expand upon them. If you find negative beliefs, then I'll help you let them go.
My life is a good example of what can happen when you change your thinking. I went from being a battered and abused child who grew up in poverty, with little self-esteem and many problems, to a well-known woman who's able to help others. I no longer live in pain and suffering. I've created a wonderful life for myself. You can do it, too.
I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Every new choice you make is like planting a seed in your new mental garden. The seeds may take time to germinate and grow. Remember, when you plant a seed, you don't produce an instant apple tree. Similarly, you may not always get instant results from doing this work.
I would like to review the basic beliefs that support my philosophy. You may remember them from You Can Heal Your Life.
What I Believe
Life is very simple. What we give out, we get back. I believe that everyone, myself included, is responsible for every experience in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by the thoughts we think and the words we speak and the beliefs we hold.
Beliefs are ideas and thoughts that we accept as truth. What we think about ourselves and the world becomes true for us. What we choose to believe can expand and enrich our world. Each day can be an exciting, joyous, hopeful experience; or a sorrowful, limiting, and painful one. Two people living in the same world, with the same set of circumstances, can experience life so differently. What can transport us from one world to another? I'm convinced that it's our beliefs that do so. When we're willing to change our primary belief structures, then we may experience a true change in our lives.
Whatever your beliefs may be about yourself and the world, remember that they're only thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. You may not agree with some of the ideas that I'm about to explore. Some of them may be unfamiliar and frightening. Don't worry. Only those ideas that are right for you will become part of you.
Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe. The Universal Power never judges or criticizes us. It only accepts us at our own value. If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become the truth for you. If you believe that you're too short, too fat, too thin, too tall, too smart, not smart enough, too rich, too poor, or incapable of forming relationships, then those beliefs will become true for you. Remember that we're dealing with thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. We have unlimited choices about what we can think, and the point of power is always in the present moment.
What are you thinking in the present moment? Is it positive or negative? Do you want this thought to be creating your future?
When we were children, we learned about life and about ourselves from the reactions of the adults around us. Therefore, most of us have ideas about who we are that were merely someone else's opinions. And we have many rules about how life "should" be lived. If you lived with people who were unhappy, frightened, guilty, or angry, then you learned a lot of negative things about yourself and your world.
When we grow up, we have a tendency to re-create the emotional environment of our early home life. We also tend to recreate in our personal relationships the ones we had with our mother and father. If we were highly criticized or abused as children, then we will seek out those individuals in our adult life who will duplicate this behavior. If we were praised, loved, and encouraged as children, then we will re-create those patterns.
I do not encourage you to blame your parents. We are all victims of victims, and they couldn't teach you something that they didn't know. If your mother or father didn't know how to love themselves, it would have been impossible for them to teach you how to love yourself. They were coping as best they could with the information they had. Think for a minute about how they were raised. If you want to understand your parents more, I suggest that you ask them about their childhood.
Listen to not only what they're telling you, but notice what happens to them while they're speaking. What is their body language like? Can they make eye contact with you? Look into their eyes and see if you can find their inner child. You may only see it for a split second, but it may reveal some valuable information.
I believe that we choose our parents. I believe that we've decided to incarnate on this earth in a particular time and space. We've come here to learn specific lessons that will advance us on our spiritual, evolutionary pathway. I believe that we choose our sex, color, and country, and then we search for the particular set of parents who will enhance our spiritual work in this lifetime.
All that we're dealing with is a thought, and a thought can be changed. No matter what the problem is, your experiences are outer effects of inner thoughts. Even self-hatred is only a thought you have about yourself. This thought produces a feeling, and you buy into that feeling. However, if you don't have the thought, you won't have the feeling. Thoughts can be changed. Change the thought, and the feeling most go.
The past has no power over us it doesn't matter how long we've been in a negative pattern. We can be free in this moment.
Believe it or not, we do choose our thoughts. We may habitually think the same thought over and over so that it doesn't seem as if we're choosing the thought. But we did make the original choice. We can refuse to think certain thoughts. How often have you refused to think a positive thought about yourself? You can also refuse to think a negative thought about yourself.
The innermost belief for everyone I've worked with is always, "I'm not good enough!" Everyone I know or have worked with is suffering from self-hatred or guilt to one degree or an other. "I'm not good enough, I don't do enough, or I don't deserve this," are common complaints. But for whom are you not good enough? And by whose standards?
I find that resentment, criticism, guilt, and fear cause most of the problems in ourselves and in our lives. These feelings come from blaming others and not taking responsibility for our own experiences. If we're all responsible for everything in our lives, then there's no one to blame. Whatever is happening "out there" is only a mirror of our own inner thinking.
I do not condone other people's poor behavior, but it's our own belief system that attracts this behavior to us. There's some thought in you that attracts people who exhibit abusive behavior. If you find that people are constantly mistreating you, then this is your belief pattern. When you change the thought that attracts this behavior, it will stop.
We can change our attitudes toward the past. It's over and done and can't be changed. Yet we can change our thoughts about the past. How foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present moment because someone hurt us long ago.
If we choose to believe that we're helpless victims and that it's all hopeless, then the Universe will support us in that belief. Our worst opinions of ourselves will be confirmed.
If we choose to believe that we're responsible for our experiences, the good and the so-called bad, then we have the opportunity to outgrow the effects of the past. We can change. We can be free.
The road to freedom is through the doorway to forgiveness. We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but if we're willing to forgive, we may begin the healing process. It's imperative for our own healing that we release the past and forgive everyone.
I'm not saying that it's all right that someone behaved in a misguided way. However, we must be aware that the past is over. We only carry the hurt and the memory in our mind. This is what we want to let go of -- the pain we're continuing to cause ourselves because we won't forgive. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go. We understand our own pain so well, yet it's hard for most of us to understand the pain of someone who treated us badly. That person we need to forgive was also in pain. And they're only mirroring what we believed about ourselves. They were doing the best they could, given the knowledge, understanding, and awareness they possessed at the time.
When people come to me with a problem -- I don't care what it is -- poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity -- there's only one thing that I ever work on, and that is loving the self.
I find that when we really love, accept, and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, everything in life flows. Joyous self-approval and self-acceptance in the here and now are the keys to positive change in every area of our lives.
To me, loving the self means never, ever criticizing ourselves for anything. Criticism locks us into the very pattern we're trying to change.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens. You've been criticizing yourself for years. Has it worked?
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Hay House Inc. ©2002. www.hayhouse.com
You Can Heal Your Life (Companion Book)
by Louise L. Hay.
Louise L Hay, the internationally renowned author and lecturer, brings you the companion book to her landmark bestseller, You Can Heal Your Life. Here, Louise applies techniques of self-love and positive thinking to a wide range of topics that affect us all on a daily basis, including: health, fearful emotions, addictions, money and prosperity, sexuality, ageing, love and intimacy, work, and more. As Louise says, "These exercises will give you new information about yourself that will enable you to make new choices. If you're willing, then you can definitely create the kind of life you want."
Info/Order this book or purchase the Kindle edition.
About the Author
LOUISE L. HAY (October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017) was a metaphysical lecturer and teacher and the best selling author of numerous books, including You Can Heal Your Life and Empowering Women. Her works have been translated into 26 different languages in 35 countries throughout the world. Louise was the founder and chairman of Hay House, Inc., a publishing company that disseminates books, audios, and videos that contribute to the healing of the planet.