What Works For Me: "I Am Safe"

What Works For Me: "I Am Safe"
There are numerous things that make our life "work" for us. Some of these are things we learned along the way, and others are somehow "innate" within us. And of course, there are things that make our life "not work so well". I would like to share with you one thing that has worked for me. 

Worried About Something? Prepare, Eliminate Obstacles, and Then Let Go

Worried About Something? Prepare, Eliminate Obstacles, and Then Let Go
Many of us worry about some big things that are yet to come or might never come. We worry about finances, natural disasters, emer­gencies, terrorism and acts of war, health, and aging, among other things. Some things we have a capacity to prepare for...

How Toddlers Know When They’re Being Judged

How Toddlers Know When They’re Being Judged
Even before toddlers can form a complete sentence, they’re attuned to how others may be judging them, according to a new study. The findings, which appear in Developmental Psychology, show that toddlers are sensitive to the opinions of others, and will modify their behavior accordingly when others are watching.

4 Things People Need To Thrive After Disaster

4 Things People Need To Thrive After Disaster“Societies try and build those things that will protect their populations—to build infrastructures, civic institutions, effective governance,” says David Abramson, clinical associate professor at the New York University College of Global Public Health and director of the Population Impact, Recovery, and Resilience Program. “But when a disaster strikes, it threatens them.”

How To Trust Your Soul To Produce The Most Beneficial Outcome

Trusting Your Soul To Produce The Outcome That Is Most Beneficial To You
Trusting your soul 
requires immense courage when you are operating as an ego. That is because the ego takes its job very seriously. It was given the task of keeping the body safe from harm, and it forgot that it was performing this service on behalf of the soul...

How To Stop Stressing Over Exam Results

How To Stop Stressing Over Exam Results

Exams are an almost unavoidable part of young people’s lives – and, inevitably, some people perform better than others. But what is more important than taking exams is how students manage the results of their exams – especially if they aren’t what was expected. When the results are negative, it can be easy to come up with automatic thoughts such as “I will never succeed in my life”, “I’ve disappointed my parents”, or “everyone is better than me”.

Why Innocent People Confess To Crimes They Didn't Commit

Why Innocent People Confess To Crimes They Didn't Commit

Office clerk Stefan Kiszko spent 17 years in prison for the murder of schoolgirl Lesley Molseed in Rochdale in northwest England in 1975. Though he had confessed his guilt to the police at the time, evidence later proved he was innocent. I grew up in Rochdale and remember reading about the case in the local newspaper as a teenager. I always wondered why an innocent person would confess to a crime they hadn’t committed.

What Gives Firefighters The Nerve To Run Into A Fire?

What Gives Firefighters The Nerve To Run Into A Fire?
A new study suggests that two sets of dynamics initiate and perpetuate the kinds of leaps of faith firefighters and others in high-risk occupations routinely take: supporting and sustaining. The findings convey what goes into a person’s ability to make critical trust-related judgments.

Are You Addicted to Stress?

Are You Addicted to Stress?
Some of us handle stress better than others. Our ability to handle stress without turning to substances is determined not only by our innate constitution but also by the social support we experience early in life.

Understanding The Battle For Your Mind

Understanding The Battle For Your MindThe Russian attacks on the 2016 U.S. presidential election and the country’s continuing election-related hacking have happened across all three dimensions of cyberspace – physical, informational and cognitive.

Don't Let Stress Get The Upper Hand

Don't Let Stress Get The Upper Hand
We've become so focused on how we'll maneuver to fit it all in that we no longer stop to smell the roses or breathe in the fresh air. Desperately we strive to gain control over the unknown. And we are hard on ourselves when we don't measure up to some internalized standard. Summed up, we're "stressed" out. Does this apply to you or someone you know?

How Your Mind, Under Stress, Gets Better At Processing Bad News

How Your Mind, Under Stress, Gets Better At Processing Bad News
Some of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime will occur while you feel stressed and anxious. From medical decisions to financial and professional ones, we are often required to weigh up information under stressful conditions.

You’ve Got Some Kind Of Symptom: Now What?

You’ve Got Some Kind Of Symptom: Now What?
Okay. You’ve got some kind of symptom. Whether you consider it to be the result of an accident, some organism, or just bad luck, you’ve got something to deal with, something to understand, some action to take.

Afraid of Fear? Don't Be! Fear Is Positive and Useful

Afraid of Fear? Don't Be! Fear Is Positive and Useful
If you'll pardon the levity, most of us are afraid of fear. We think it's a bad thing. Because so many of our experiences with fear have been negative, we fail to see fear as positive or useful. It is both. Let me repeat: Fear is positive and useful.

How Active Shooter Drills May Reshape How A Generation Of Students Views School

How Active Shooter Drills May Reshape How A Generation Of Students Views School
School shootings and the March for Our Lives rallies held in cities around the world on March 24 2018 rekindled debates over how to keep students safe. “The notion of ‘it can’t happen here’ is no longer a notion,” said Sheriff Tim Cameron of St. Mary’s County, Maryland...

Caring with Love Instead of Fear: Working through Worry about Another Person

Caring with Love Instead of Fear: Working through Worry about Another Person
In this world it is very natural to worry about our loved ones. We don’t want them to be hurt or to suffer in any way. Yet what if this worry is somehow hurting instead of helping? For years my mom has struggled with severe migraines. One night I was lying in bed thinking about her and...

The Shocking Truth About Happiness

The Shocking Truth About Happiness
Looking back, I see how much of my life I spent worrying about stuff or being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and richness of my life. I had to admit that to myself. Because it seemed to me – in retrospect...

How To Deal With Life's Risks More Rationally

How To Deal With Life's Risks More Rationally
Risk is everywhere and associated with everything. For example, the Center for Disease Control a decade ago estimated over 20 million people a year ended up in emergency rooms because of bathroom injuries.

Making Room For Unstoppable Inner Peace

Making Room For Unstoppable Inner Peace
I used to get really freaked out by the idea that the more I turned to Love, the more the ego would roar at me and whip me back into place. I am well aware that the ego will pull out any evidence to “prove” to us that we are not of Love. Some have referred to this as an “ego backlash.”

Dealing With Fear And Anxiety in Decision Making

Dealing With Fear And Anxiety in Decision Making
Generally we think of fear as something negative to be conquered, however fear isn’t always bad. In the right circumstances and in small doses it looks like caution or pru­dence, and it can play a constructive role in your decision making.

Shedding Light On Fear and Seeing It For What It Really Is

Shedding Light On Fear and Seeing It For What It Really Is
How do you shed light on fear, and see it for what it really is? You question it by asking, “Says who?” Like a boogieman in your mind, you need to stand up to it and let it know who’s in control and the boss of your thoughts. It’s either you or your fear-based thought. It’s important to decide who’s really in charge of your thinking.

Dealing with Fear: A Meditation Journey with Sekhmet

Dealing with Fear: A Meditation Journey with Sekhmet
Fear is one of our greatest teachers. From the time we have our first childhood lesson of keeping our hands off the hot stove to our mature ability to recognize danger and get out of the way, fear has earned our respect and has tremendous influence over our behavior. But sometimes fear holds us back...

When You Have to Choose: Feeling Your Way to a Decision

When You Have to Choose: Feeling Your Way to a Decision
The way you think about decisions gives you a remarkable decision-making super power that enables you to make decisions with confidence even when you have just the smallest glimpse of data. As a matter of fact it’s so good that, if you were the only one who had it, you could charge a fortune on your own psychic hotline. Fortunately for the rest of us, we all come hard-wired with this amazing capability, and all we have to do is learn to use it effectively.

The Pressure of "Should": The Voice of Ego's Difficult Dictator

The Pressure of "Should": The Voice of Ego's Difficult Dictator
It is vital that we learn to tell the difference between a prompt­ing from our Spirits and one coming from the fearful ego — our own, or those of others. Any call to action not coming through your Spirit as inspiration can probably be labeled as a should, an...

Life Is Like A GPS: You're On A Need-To-Know Basis

Life Is Like A GPS: You're On A Need To Know BasisA while back, in a conversation with my inner guidance, I was trying to find out some specifics on a project that I was working on. As in, when is this going to take place? Who's going to be handling it? Where is it going to be done? When is it going to be complete? All questions that my restless mind wanted to know. NOW!

Easing Fear in Children (and Adults)

Easing Fear in Children (and Adults)Many of the fears that parents have and try to hide from their children are not quite hidden. Emotional fears, financial, or any fear at all is picked up on by children. The good news is that fear is normal. We all have fears...

Connecting With and Reclaiming Your Navigational System

Connecting With and Reclaiming Your Navigational SystemNo submarine could operate without its sonar, no driver with­out maps and signs. Yet most of us arrive at adulthood with many of our inner signal readers numbed out — or totally blocked.

The Desire for Safety, Security and Authenticity

authenticityBecause of recent global financial upheavals, people are more aware than ever of their need to feel that the ground beneath them won’t open up and swallow them whole. Even those who know they can count on friends, family, and community to support them in a time of crisis long to...

Hollywood Stuntman’s Fear Blocking Technique

Hollywood Stuntman’s Fear Blocking TechniqueI feel fear exactly as you do. I’m certainly no daredevil, despite what you might expect of a member of The Hollywood Stuntmen’s Hall of Fame! Nor am I an “adrenaline junkie,” despite the Guinness World Records I hold.

The Mental Health Impact Of Major Disasters Like Harvey And Irma

The Mental Health Impact Of Major Disasters Like Harvey And IrmaImmediately after a natural disaster, it’s normal to experience fear, anxiety, sadness or shock. However, if these symptoms continue for weeks to months following the event, they may indicate a more serious psychological issue.

On Getting Along With Fear and Developing Courage

On Getting Along With Fear and Developing CourageIf you’re anything like me, you haven’t gotten along too well with your fear up to now. You two may spend a lot of time together, but I doubt you’re very friendly. It doesn’t have to be that way.

How Chaos Can Be Your Friend and Powerful Ally

Learning to Recognize Chaos As A Friend and Powerful AllyThe Oxford dictionary defines chaos as complete disorder or confusion. In general when we speak of chaos we associate it with a negative state and negative energy. When someone says, “My life is chaotic” or “Chaos is everywhere” we understand that person to mean, “My life is a mess and I am a mess”.

Can Our Light be Totally Eclipsed?

Can Our Light be Totally Eclipsed?A few weeks ago, Joyce and I got to experience the total eclipse high in the mountains of Idaho, in the exact center of the “zone of totality.” It was, for us, the experience of a lifetime. In our seventy-one years of living...

How To Go From Fear-Based Expectations to Heart-Based Experience

How To Go From Fear-Based Expectations to Heart-Based Experience
I want to share a story with you because it shows well the dance between our thoughts and outcomes, and illustrates the power of the heart. This story happened when I made a strong request to the universe to help me become more aware of how my thinking affected reality. Be careful what you ask of the universe!

Conquering the Inner Demon of Anxiety using Animals & Imagery

Conquering the Inner Demon of Anxiety using Animals & ImageryThe realization that my anxiety was caused by deeper feelings of lack of trust and fear of being hurt by others was not enough to allow me to wake up in the morning feeling rested and quiet inside. From my experience...

The Victim Archetype: Say Hello to Your Inner Victim

08 30 victimYou may become conscious of your inner victim when you experience rejection, violation, injustice, inequality, prejudice, and blame for things you did not do. It is easy to point a finger at someone else, but to take responsibility for your actions, beliefs, and the roles you play in the victim...

Releasing and Preventing The Cellular Imprint of Trauma

Releasing and Preventing The Cellular Imprint of TraumaPrior to becoming a therapist, I believed as the majority of people still do, that trauma and subsequent PTSD are experienced by only a small portion of the population and limited primarily to combat soldiers and first responders such as firefighters, police and EMT’s; as well as residents of war-torn countries and victims of catastrophic events.

It’s Time To Take Stock Of Your Fears and Self-Judgment

It’s Time To Take Stock Of Your Fears and Self-JudgmentWhy is it that so many of us feel we need crisis in order to face our fears, to bring about the change we already know we need to undertake? After my last big crisis, I asked myself this question. It seemed my crisis meter had an alarm clock and every ten years I brought about a doozy.

Let's Talk About Fear: Illuminating the Shadow

Let's Talk About Fear: Illuminating the Shadow
Fear drives our impulses to forcibly control others, and to try and make the whole world behave as we want. Fear stimulates our mistrust of one another. It fosters close-mindedness, terror, judgment, bullying, frustration, and the awful destruction of human-on-human violence. Fear explains why...

What To Do When You Get In A 'Spiritual Blackout' Funk

What To Do When You Get In A 'Spiritual Blackout' MoodI’m in a spiritual blackout right now, and it’s not pretty. Typically, I feel like I have an open line of conversation with spiritual guidance, and then the spiritual blackout comes along. Wham! Someone shuts a trapdoor overhead...

Showing Compassion by Easing Someone's Tension

Showing Compassion by Easing Someone's Tension

We are naturally geared for compassion, to share and bond and ease the pain and stress of others. There is room in business for compassion and you do not need to go to great lengths to begin spotting the opportunities for that type of connection.

How To Deal with Your Nervousness, Anxiety, and Fear

How To Deal with Your Nervousness, Anxiety, and FearIf you sometimes experience anxiety that gets very intense, you may not be getting the help you deserve because you are ashamed of feeling anxious or having panic attacks. This is unfortunate because understanding what anxiety is and what triggers it can be a great help in demystifying and dealing sanely and appropriately with it.

When Life is Stressful or Traumatic, What Can You Do?

When Life is Stressful or Traumatic, What Can You Do?When you are suffering in some way, it may seem easier to focus your attention anywhere but on the painful situation at hand. So you distract yourself. Distractions can include focusing on the future, working too hard, compulsively...

Why Are Our Stories Worst-Case Scenarios?

Why Are Our Stories Worst-Case Scenarios?When we believe whatever our story­-telling brain fabricates, we are pushing our own buttons! As we listen to this sort of mind chatter, our survival alarm quickly esca­lates to higher levels of activation. Then our upset reactions seem completely justified!

The Many Opportunities to Trust

The Many Opportunities to TrustImagine if we could completely trust that we are guided, protected and completely loved by an unseen higher power, that all that happens is a gift bringing us closer to God and our angels. I imagine that life would be peaceful and joyful.

What Can You Do When Faced With An Intolerable Situation?

What To Do When Faced with an Intolerable SituationIn his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle writes that people have only three options when they are presented with a situation that is intolerable: they can change the situation, walk away from it, or accept it.

Why Drinking To Forget Could Make PTSD Worse

Why Drinking To Forget Could Make PTSD WorseDrinking to forget may make the fearful memories associated with post-traumatic stress disorder worse, not better, experiments with mice suggest.

Why And When Phobias Are Contagious

Laura Lewis, Claustrophobia IVMost of us have something we say we’re afraid of, whether it be spiders, needles, or something more unusual like zombies.

Self-Image: “I Can Do It” vs. “I’m No Good at This”

Self-Image: “I Can Do It” vs. “I’m No Good at This”If you’ve only ever seen yourself as unsure and perhaps your self-esteem is not strong, you may be more vulnerable to becoming overwhelmed by fear—stressed by the worry that your pain might devolve into a worst case scenario of unknown proportions.

How To Release and Eliminate Fear & Anxiety

How To Release Fear & Anxiety, article by Jonathan ParkerToday many fears seem woven into the very fabric of our society, such as fear of terrorism, fear of epidemics, fear of a bad economy, fear of commitment, and fear of losing a job, as well as fear of being separated from people we love, fear of loved ones dying, and the all-encompassing fear of the future...

Taking the Vulnerable Path to Achieve Authentic Long-term Success

Taking the Vulnerable Path to Achieve Authentic Long-term SuccessWhen we allow our fears to drive our choices, the actions we do not take and the opportunities we allow to pass us by are symbolic of us rejecting the life we genuinely desire. Conversely, when we find the courage to face our fears directly...

5 Ways to Handle Difficult Emotional Situations

5 Ways to Handle Difficult Emotional SituationsLearning healthy ways—a collection of skills that researchers call resilience—to move through adversity can help us cope better and recover more quickly, or at least start heading in that direction.

Opening Your Heart Wider Than Your Fears

Opening Your Heart Wider Than Your FearsFor years I understood the concepts of loving more and unconditional acceptance. I knew the woman I wanted to be: more loving, more accepting, more compassionate. But in day-to-day living I struggled with keeping my heart open, especially when I felt afraid...

The Fortress Complex: How The West Became Obsessed With Home Security

The Fortress Complex: How The West Became Obsessed With Home SecurityThat famous phrase, “an man’s home is his castle”, neatly captures longstanding ideas about what the private home really is: a place which we can control and defend, a private territory where we decide who enters and who doesn’t.

Why We're Obsessed With And Afraid Of Monsters

Why We're Obsessed With And Afraid Of MonstersFear continues to saturate our lives: fear of nuclear destruction, fear of climate change, fear of the subversive, and fear of foreigners.

The Real Reason Clowns Scare Us

The Real Reason Clowns Scare UsThis Halloween may be the scariest in a long time. Facing the usual huge crowds of zombies, witches and vampires, deep down, many of us most fear running into one of the “killer clowns” that have been spotted in creepy places across the world over the past few months.

Why We Go Crazy For The Gross Stuff On Halloween

Why We Go Crazy For The Gross Stuff On HalloweenHalloween is a chance to seek out the spooky, as well as the gross and horrifying. We enjoy the emotional rush—free of any actual danger—from both, says Daniel Kelly.

Early Fear Of Abandonment May Harm Adult Health

Early Fear Of Abandonment May Harm Adult HealthA new study shows low socioeconomic status and fear of abandonment early in life can lead to poor health in adulthood—regardless of adult socioeconomic status.

Fear is a Thought Monster Ruling the Peanut Gallery in Your Head

Fear is a Thought Monster Ruling the Peanut Gallery in Your HeadHow often in your life have you avoided doing something because of the terrifying story you concocted in your head? Maybe you avoid flying or swimming in the ocean (amazing how the film Jaws forced many of us back on to the beach). We’ve learned to tell ourselves the story of fear so well...

Empathy: A Powerful Tool That Can Be Overwhelming & Confusing

Empathy: A Powerful Tool That Can Be Overwhelming & ConfusingWithout knowledge of what’s happening, sensitive individuals may grow up coping in unsatisfying ways. But this doesn’t have to be the case. For someone who is highly empathic, refining and modulating this deep way of knowing involves several keys...

Slaying The Dragons That Are Within & Without

Slaying The Dragons That Are Within & WithoutSmall but insidious dragons lurk to intercept us on our spiritual journey through the land of ecstasies and voids. One of these is the infamous sheltering dragon.

How Much Energy Do You Put Into Avoiding Being Assaulted?

How Much Energy Do You Put Into Avoiding Being Assaulted?A recent article offering men advice about how to proposition a woman wearing headphones – encouraging them to block her path to prevent her from ignoring them – rightfully provoked a major backlash.

Sleep Paralysis Is a Wide-Awake Brain and a Snoozing Body

Sleep Paralysis Is a Wide-Awake Brain and a Snoozing BodyYour eyes begin to open after a good night of sleep, but something feels weird. You try to rub the tiredness out of your face but can’t lift your arms. In a panic you try to take a deep breath but can’t draw air.

How To Change Your "Not Enough" Thinking

How To Change Your "Not Enough" ThinkingDo you feel like you're never enough? That there's never enough time? Money? Friends? Great opportunities? Recognition?  Do you believe if you had or did something else -- got married, earned more, looked more beautiful, danced better, or had more time -- you'd finally relax and feel okay? Do you believe more is better? Are you rarely satisfied?

What If I Wasn't Afraid?

What If I Wasn't Afraid?How many times have we stopped ourselves from doing something we really really wanted to do, but were afraid to? If you think back, imagine where the road would have taken you had you had the courage to do what your heart wanted you to do, or not do... or to say, or not say.

What To Do With Those "Something to Worry About" Thoughts

The "Something to Worry About" Thoughts
Sometimes the thoughts bothering us are not based on anything concrete, like health or career problems. But they’re in our mind anyway, and it’s unsettling us enough to make us feel agitated or irritated, and maybe even angered by it...

Have A Tough Time Sleeping?

Have A Tough Time Sleeping?You work late and finally crawl into bed absolutely wiped out. But you can’t fall asleep because your mind is still racing. Oooo! You finally do fall asleep! But then you wake up in the middle of the night. You can’t go back to sleep, so you get up and...

What Are The Right Words In A Text That Can Calm A Crisis?

What Are The Right Words In A Text That Can Calm A Crisis?Crisis hotlines have been around for years, but until recently there’s been very little data on which counseling strategies seemed most effective at helping people cope. The recent emergence of text-based crisis help lines is changing that.

What's Really Important On My Bucket List

What's Really Important For Our Bucket ListOnce in a while, a person will have a defining moment -- an experience -- a bit of wisdom or inspiration that pops into their heads and hearts and changes their lives. I had one of those moments recently on the Rogue River in Oregon. It helped to change in a very positive way my relationship with Barry, my beloved of 46 years.

Once Upon A Now: Retiring Our Victim Stories

Once Upon A Now: Letting Go of the Victim StoriesIt’s time for humanity to write new parables. New voices. A new language. It’s time for new books. New songs. New pictures. Tradition and nostalgia served their place to bond us and then, to separate us. Fear kept us from grace. It kept us from one another. It kept us from the divine. It kept us lonely and isolated and frightened. Always frightened.

Big Worries About Money Can Put Years On Your Face

Big Worries About Money Can Put Years On Your FaceIn a recent study, people with the highest levels of financial stress looked like they had aged more over a decade than people with lower levels of money woes.

How Can We Get Past Our Fear of Change?

Change Isn't the Enemy, Fear Is Certainly, not everyone is frightened by change. But for those of us who like predictability and routine, times of great change can bring on intense fear. That’s why it’s crucially important to recognize what we’re feeling and have coping strategies in place.

The Kind Of Person That Joins A Cult Or A Terror Group

The Kind Of Person That Joins A Cult Or A Terror GroupThere are some striking similarities between cults and terror groups. An all-encompassing ideology can, when exhibited by a group or individual, have destructive effects on society.

Helping Kids Cope With Stress

Helping Kids Cope With StressChildren are not as adept as adults at understanding complex emotions like stress, and aren’t likely to be able to tell you when they have too much on their plate. A child who is stressed out isn’t likely to appear so. Rather, their anxiety is often portrayed through a series of signs, which can be physical, emotional, or behavioral.

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FROM THE EDITORS

Why Donald Trump Could Be History's Biggest Loser
by Robert Jennings, InnerSelf.com
Updated July 2, 20020 - This whole coronavirus pandemic is costing a fortune, maybe 2 or 3 or 4 fortunes, all of unknown size. Oh yeah, and, hundreds of thousands, maybe a million, of people will die…
Blue-Eyes vs Brown Eyes: How Racism is Taught
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
In this 1992 Oprah Show episode, award-winning anti-racism activist and educator Jane Elliott taught the audience a tough lesson about racism by demonstrating just how easy it is to learn prejudice.
A Change Is Gonna Come...
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
(May 30, 2020) As I watch the news on the events in Philadephia and other cities in the country, my heart aches for what is transpiring. I know that this is part of the greater change that is taking…
A Song Can Uplift the Heart and Soul
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
I have several ways that I use to clear the darkness from my mind when I find it has crept in. One is gardening, or spending time in nature. The other is silence. Another way is reading. And one that…
Mascot for the Pandemic and Theme Song for Social Distancing and Isolation
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
I came across a song recently and as I listened to the lyrics, I thought it would be a perfect song as a "theme song" for these times of social isolation. (Lyrics below the video.)