Behavior Modification

Explore Your Resistance to Life’s Opportunities

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Image by Tumisu 

I didn’t truly understand the phrase “never say never” until I started recognizing I was contradicting so many of my own “nevers.” This seemed, in many ways, to be a conflict of interest within myself. Why would I state such a strong word as “never” and then go and do it? What’s the point?  

When I began to take a deeper look at this dilemma, I realized that I was saying never to something because there was resistance within myself — a judgment towards an idea. I see this now as the way that many people are resisting the opportunity to awaken out of their suffering. In some cases, the same thing they resist is something that they really want. It’s only the judgment around it that stops someone. It’s time to get around the chaos of the mind and go past the resistance.

Breaking Through

Here are some examples of where I was able to break through and not miss opportunities that life offered me. 

I wholeheartedly believed statements like “I’ll never get divorced.” It was ingrained in me to stay married for better or for worse. While I believe in keeping commitments and working on relationships, what I know now is that when a spiritual contract is over with someone, it’s necessary to take the lessons and move on. It’s imperative to your soul’s journey that if a partner is holding you back and not willing to do their inner work, there’s little reason to stay in suffering.

Working through our life lessons while in a relationship is ideal, as there’s no escaping the lesson you set yourself up to learn. If you don’t do the inner work, you will repeat them with someone else. The important aspect is that the desire to work on the relationship needs to be mutual. 

Another “never” statement I  made was, “I’ll never move to New Jersey.” At the time, I was so stuck on my personal preferences for California sunshine that I couldn’t see how living in a cold, East Coast urban area could provide an agreeable place to live. But then I had a dream job offer and found the “perfect home” on an acre of land in New Jersey.

If I’d stayed in the ideations I had about the East Coast or the cold weather, I would have missed a huge opportunity. As a result of breaking through my never statement, I was able to experience life in a way that expanded my view of the world and immersed me in new cultures and ways of thinking. 

Another adamant belief was, “I’ll never do drugs.” It was a blanket statement about any type of mind-altering substance. This certainly included all forms of what I now call spiritual medicines, more commonly referred to as psychedelics. My judgment around losing my mind or being out of control was a belief I felt destined to live by. 

I later broke through this belief and experienced all that spiritual medicines have to offer. Now I see that “losing my mind” was exactly what I needed — not in the sense of being nonfunctional in the world, but in a way that revealed I was no longer a slave to my mind. I saw clearly how suffering resides in the circuitous loops of thoughts in our conscious and subconscious minds. 

Potential Deeper Meanings Behind Your Resistance

When you find yourself saying “never,” I recommend exploring your resistance and investigating three potential deeper meanings behind it: 


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  1. Look for signs of your Soul nudging you. 

    There are often ideas that drop out of nowhere and get rejected before being explored. Have fun feeling into the idea instead of allowing the mind to tell you all the reasons why it’s not possible.

  1. Examine your resistance.

    Is there a past memory or experience that’s limiting your ability to be open to a new idea or to changing circumstances in your life? Is someone else’s opinion influencing you? Will you feel judged or worry about what others think if you did that “never”?

  1. Recognize fear-based ideas.

    Is this resistance coming from the ego mind? Or, are you really feeling a clear “no” from deep within? The answers are always within. Looking to our external relationships can cause conflict as the norms of the external world often hold us back from breaking away from the mold.

These days, I find hearing “nevers” come out of my mouth to be entertaining, especially knowing that I may be called to eat my words later. If it’s something I tune in to and feel deep within that it’s not for my higher good, I laugh and say “Cancel, alt, delete” to the Universe.  

Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved.

Book by this author:

BOOKAngels, Herpes and Psychedelics

Angels, Herpes and Psychedelics: Unraveling the Mind to Unveil Illusions
by Beth Bell

book cover of Angels, Herpes and Psychedelics: Unraveling the Mind to Unveil Illusions by Beth BellBeth’s story exposes how the soul’s true path can get messy, irrational, and even downright dangerous. If you’re looking for a tender tale of light, love, and burning sage, look elsewhere. 

Beth Bell’s sacred journey offers something much more raw. Her memoir strips away the veil of a picture-perfect life, revealing the illusions of self, the bliss of divine oneness, and all the healing, aching, chaotic beauty in between.

For more info and/or to order this book, click here. Available as a paperback, hardcover, and a Kindle edition.

About the Author

photo of Beth BellBeth Bell spent 15-plus years in strategic brand management in the pharmaceutical industry and developed inspirational products, including a silver jewelry line for both eCommerce and a retail shop in Bali. She currently produces and hosts the Psychedelic Sages podcast and is an advisor to psychedelic pharmaceutical companies.

Her new book, Angels, Herpes and Psychedelics, shares her journey of awakening and provides a spiritual toolbox others can learn from. Learn more at BethBell.me
    

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