Synchronicity had served me well. No sooner had I made the decision to spend several months in the mountains of northern New Mexico, than my inner knowingness guided me to the timeless, secluded village of Chimayo. Even before seeing the website of the place I'd be calling home for the months to come, long before setting foot on the land, some part of me knew hat this was where I would end up. When I let go of how my logical mind assumed it was supposed to be, the pieces fell into place like magic.
Little did I suspect that this idyllic setting would host a gut-wrenching transformation that was slated to take place within me. The contrast between the hours of ecstatic moments lost in the Love of Oneness and the rawness of my interactions with the outside world couldn't have been more blatant.
It was here, against a stage set that radiated the illusion of peace and serenity, that the inner drama of radical self-confrontation and a crash-course in Divinely-induced detachment from the material world would unfold. That time, so safely harbored in the spiritual womb of the New Mexico desert, was yet another turning point. But it was one with a profound difference. This was the proverbial "point of no return."
I know a lot of what is happening in my life has to do with issues of trust. It's too easy to slip into responses of fear and worry, anticipating what will happen "if." I know that the lesson here is to be able to completely let go of the need to control the process, to allow the circumstances to unfold, and to know that it's going to work out fine, even if I don't know just how that's going to come about.
It'll work out, somehow. It always does. I'm just really tired of having to "pull a rabbit out of a hat" at the last minute to make ends meet. I need a break. The pressure of all of this, and having to make a living too, is really a lot to carry right now. It shouldn't be such a battle. I'm spending altogether too much time hitting my head on a stone wall, trying to make a living. I could get a lot more of this work done if I weren't so concerned with having to generate money. It's the same old story. The neverending story!
ENOUGH!!! I've had enough of this story. I don't want to do this story anymore. I'm complete with this story. From now on, I'm not going to care about where the money is coming from. It'll have to come -- or not. I'm not going to work myself into the ground like this anymore.
My focus is my spiritual work. I will need to find another source of support. I am open to that possibility. The universe is supporting me anyway, vibrationally, that is. So, who is to say that the support has to come through the vehicle of jewelry? If that is not flowing with ease, then I surrender. The universe will have to figure out how to support me some other way. I am totally open to receiving that unconditional support!
Oneness speaks with Rasha:
And so it is, Rasha. You are beginning to get the idea. Be less invested in the idea of having to do this all yourself. This is not about doing. This is about Being who you Are — period. Everything else comes after that. You are going about your life like a robot, mindlessly following your habitual routine. Haven't you noticed that it's not working?
Ok. Then I surrender! I am not fighting this anymore. I quit!
What is it you're quitting?
I'm quitting being a robot. I'm getting off the train.
Do you mean that?
I'm not sure. I'm not sure how that would look. But, I'm fed up! I don't want it to be like this anymore. I've got one foot in each of two worlds. It's too much! I want to live a spiritual life now. I don't want to be flogging jewelry, not full time. Not as a career. But, I don't know how to get past living hand to mouth. This has been going on for three years, for heaven's sake! Somehow, the writing always seems to take a back seat to my frenzy to earn enough money to barely make ends meet. Enough!! I am totally open to some other kind of idea coming my way.
How about doing the work that you're here to do? How's that for an idea?
It's great, as long as I can make a living doing it. How am I supposed to pay the rent and the phone bill and everything else?
You are not supposed to worry about that. You are supposed to simply Be who you Are. And, do what you do. The rest will take care of itself.
OK, Oneness. I trust you. Totally. I'm going to do it your way.
No, Rasha. You're going to do it your way. The real you. You may just be surprised with the results. Surrender the fight. And, you just may find that there is no fight.
©2013 by Rasha. Reprinted with permission of the author.
A Journey to Oneness: A Chronicle of Spiritual Emergence
Rich with Divine insight, A Journey to Oneness gives us a vibrant new vision of the nature of humanness and an in-depth guide to discovering the Divinity within. Here, in one woman's unforgettable spiritual adventure, is the key to the actual experience of Oneness -- the God within us all.
Author of the spiritual classic Oneness, Rasha awakened to her inner calling as a Divine Messenger in 1987. The profound teachings she transcribes are universal and focus on the experience of the Divinity within us. Rasha has dedicated her life to addressing the unprecedented transformation of consciousness that is the hallmark of these times. American by birth, she now lives in South India.