Why Do Men and Women Feel Things Differently?

Men and Women Feel Things DifferentlyMany studies have shown that women's brains are wired differently from men's so they can both feel and recall both positive and negative emotions more strongly than men. But, just because women seem to be more comfortable in the emotional realm, does not mean that men don't, can't, or shouldn't thrive in it...

Being Lovesick Was A Real Disease In The Middle Ages

Being Lovesick Was A Real Disease In The Middle AgesLove sure does hurt, as the Everly Brothers knew very well. And while it is often romanticised or made sentimental, the brutal reality is that many of us experience fairly unpleasant symptoms when in the throes of love.

We All Want Funny Mates But That’s Not Quite Enough

We All Want Funny Mates But That’s Not Quite EnoughStudy after study affirms that people want a partner with a sense of humor. But it’s less about cracking jokes than about finding a style of humor that makes you both laugh.

The Most Important Thing You’re Not Discussing With Your Doctor

The Most Important Thing You’re Not Discussing With Your DoctorPoliticians and policymakers are discussing what parts of the Affordable Care Act to change and what to keep. While most of us have little control over those discussions, there is one health care topic that we can control: what we talk about with our doctor.

How To Change Hearts and Open Minds

communication 2 4We can start difficult conversations by speaking from the heart and sharing our wish for a world where everyone is safe and free.

Raise the Bar on Love

Raise the Bar on Love and Let Love Be JoyfulEvery February, in honor of Valentine’s day, I explore loving relationships. Many of us have faced challenges in relationships, and we struggle with how to create truly rewarding connections. We search for our soulmate, wrestle with friendships, and dread going home to see our relatives.

Think Swearing Isn’t Big Or Clever? Think Again

Think Swearing Isn’t Big Or Clever? Think AgainThe use of obscene or taboo language, or swearing as it’s more commonly known, is often seen as a sign that the speaker lacks vocabulary, cannot express themselves in a less offensive way, or even lacks intelligence.

Why Children Find Poo So Hilarious

toliet training 2 2A boy meets a man carrying a load of cow manure and asks him what he is going to do with it all. The man tells the little boy, “I’m taking it home to put on my strawberries”.

How Stereotypes Can Hold Boys Back In School

How Stereotypes Can Hold Boys Back In SchoolBy age six, girls are less likely than boys to view their own gender as brilliant and express interest in activities described as for “really, really smart” children, according to new research published in Science.

Should Teens Sleep In On School Days?

Should Teens Sleep In On School Days?Delaying school start times could help teenagers sleep better, say experts, and could give them a better chance at success later.

How To Release Yourself from the Lies of Everyday Life

The Path to Living Authentically: Releasing Yourself from the Lies of Everyday LifeGrowing up in Appalachia, many women abided by two rules: it’s impolite to say no, and be as nice as you possibly can be, and everyone will realize you’re the better person. For me, this translated as always say yes and play nice.

The Relationship Myth: "All You Need Is Love"

The Relationship Myth: "All You Need Is Love"The Beatles were on the money with almost all their songs, but on this one "All You Need Is Love", I’m afraid that they got it wrong. Beatles fans who embraced this song as the holy truth probably found themselves deeply disappointed.

How to Expand Your Empathic Capacity

Linking Up: Expanding Your Empathic CapacityThere is a natural tendency to synchronize, to link up with others. When two violins are located in the same room and a string is plucked on the first one, the string tuned to the same frequency on the second violin will vibrate, thus sounding the note...

Why Being Rude To Your Doctor Makes Them Mess Up

Why Being Rude To Your Doctor Makes Them Mess UpDoctors don’t just “get over” rude treatment from patients, research suggests. In simulations with an angry parent, the performance of pediatricians suffered dramatically.

Is The Point Of Sex To Boost a Woman's Immune System?

Is The Point Of Sex To Boost a Woman's Immune System?Most people think just one sperm is needed to fertilize a woman’s egg and make a healthy pregnancy. However, biologists now believe sexual intercourse is not just a sperm delivery process, but also a kind of biological communication.

How To Unwrap the Gift Within Your Heart

Turning On Your Heart’s Light and Discovering Your True SelfJust as a sculptor chips away the marble that covers the already-formed work of art, our inner work is to remove what doesn’t belong and what is not in resonance with our authentic selves. Put another way, within each of our hearts is a gift. It is up to us to unwrap it.

Pediatricians Offer 4 Tips To Teach Kindness To Children

Pediatricians Offer 4 Tips To Teach Kindness To ChildrenChildren are listening. During the election, messages of hate, fear and intolerance were propagated across different media and into communities.

From Utopia to Materialism to Becoming Citizens of the World

From Utopia to Materialism to Becoming Citizens of the WorldOur youth, to whom we will entrust the twenty-first century, look upon neither their future nor their world with bright hope. This is why I feel compelled to discuss the problems of our youth, particularly in the advanced industrialized nations...

5 Ways To Make Your Child A Creative Genius

5 Ways To Make Your Child A Creative GeniusCongratulations! Your child is already a creative genius by virtue of being human. Humans are far more creative than any other species.

How To Calculate The Economic Impact Of Grief

How To Calculate The Economic Impact Of GriefThe death of a child is one of the most traumatic experiences that a parent can experience. Those who do experience it can struggle to recover.

Do Music Lessons Make Children Any Smarter?

Can playing the violin really make a child smarter?Music is one of the most beautiful and powerful creations of humankind, and its powers are well known – making us happy and sad or relaxed and excited.

How to Reclaim Your Innocence: Projection is the Opposite of Innocence

How to Reclaim Your Innocence: Projection is the Opposite of InnocenceInnocence is what we find within ourselves when we stop being suspicious and fearful. When we let go of our socially conditioned caution we discover we have a core of innocence and playfulness. Innocence is a state of self-love and self-acceptance that has almost nothing...

How To Be Your Own Relationship Therapist

How To Be Your Own Relationship TherapistMaybe you can't see an obvious reason why you haven't found happiness in your relationships, but somehow it's not happening as you envisioned. You can't seem to locate the answers that will bring everything together. Don't give up. Understanding is a journey...

Why Stories Matter With Children Learning

Why Stories Matter With Children LearningEver wondered why boys and girls choose particular toys, particular colors and particular stories? Why is it that girls want to dress in pink and to be princesses, or boys want to be Darth Vader, warriors and space adventurers?

Kids Can Catch Bias Through Non-verbal Cues

Kids Can Catch Bias Through Non-verbal CuesPreschool-aged children can learn bias through nonverbal signals displayed by adults, such as a condescending tone of voice or a disapproving look, new research suggests.

Are You Trying to Live Vicariously Through Your Children?

Are You Trying to Live Vicariously Through Your Children?Though we all want our children to do well, to have what they want, to achieve, we need to be aware that what they want may be different to what we want for them. Many people feel unhappy and unfulfilled partly because they've done what was expected of them to please their parents...

How To Feel Love and Open Up To Love

How To Feel Love and Open Up To LoveOnce upon a time, there was a young woman who gave and gave to other people until it hurt. She generally bent over backwards to help anyone she cared about (or didn't care about). It pleased her no end to buy something special for a friend, even when she really needed some...

Let Go of Stereotypes and Smash Your Birthday Ceiling

Let Go of Stereotypes and Smash Your Birthday Ceiling Growing older is inevitable and, as has been said, better than the alternative. Limiting ourselves by age, though, is a state of mind. But often we accept stereotypical statements about age, aging, and what is supposed to happen at certain ages. We don’t need to accept any of these thoughts!

How Santa Helps Teach Children To Be Good Little Consumers

How Santa Helps Teach Children To Be Good Little ConsumersIt’s that time of year – the season when parents, schools and retailers sell one of the most magical lies to children: Santa Claus. But far from being a harmless way to fire children’s imagination at Christmas, the “Santa lie”...

Are Single-sex Schools Good For Your Child?

coeducational 12 23

Gender-segregated education is making a comeback. Single-sex classrooms, long discouraged under Title IX, the federal law that prohibits gender discrimination in education, have been gaining prominence in recent years, especially in urban charter schools.

Tips for Better Communication in Families

Communication Tips for FamiliesFamily communication is possible, but love must be the lubricant. Talking about things like love, kindness, and generosity, and not "problems", might be the route to family change.

Why People Trust Sharing Economy Strangers More Than Their Colleagues

Why People Trust Sharing Economy Strangers More Than Their ColleaguesTrust is a crucial element in any relationship, not least when financial transactions are taking place. The rise of sharing economy platforms such as Airbnb and Uber – where you pay a stranger for a service – are especially dependent on trust.

The Point of Life Is To Love: Moving Outside Our Safety Zone

The Point of Life Is To LoveI have experienced a lot of life since I first started to apprentice in my family’s traditions. I have felt the ups and downs of life—from confrontations to harmony, from feeling anger and fear to happiness and love. I have learned that the key...

Why President Trump Will Continue to Hold Rallies

Why President Trump Will Continue to Hold RalliesDonald Trump has just finished the last of his nine post-election “thank you tour” rallies. Why did he do them? And why is he planning further rallies after he becomes president?

Why Sex Gets Better In Older Age

Why Sex Gets Better In Older AgeAging is generally associated with improvements in our quality of life: We become more proficient in our work, learn how to manage our finances better and our bonds with loved ones deepen.

Why Bromosexual Friendships Are Getting More Attention

Why Bromosexual Friendships Are Getting More AttentionFor a long time, friendships between gay men and straight men – what some now call “bromosexual” friendships – were uncommon.

Why You Should Practice The Golden Rule in Reverse!

Why You Should Practice The Golden Rule in Reverse!If you find yourself time and again in relationships that make you feel unlovable, then you’re probably short on self-love. I had relationships like this. Wanting love from someone else led me to do crazy things like elope with a man I’d casually met on the beach...

You and The People You Are Supposed To Like Or Love But Can’t Stand

You and The People You Are Supposed To Like Or Love But Can’t StandThis article is about the people you are supposed to like or love but can’t stand, such as extended family or friends of friends. Currently, most relationships are forged from the erroneous idea that we have to be the same to get along and that differences between us are to be avoided at all costs.

7 Cheap Moisturizers Can Prevent Eczema In Babies

7 Cheap Moisturizers Can Prevent Eczema In BabiesIt may be possible to prevent babies from getting eczema—a costly, inflammatory skin disorder—just by applying something as inexpensive as petroleum jelly every day for the first six months of life.

How Neuroparenting Is Sapping The Joy Out Of Family Life

How Neuroparenting Is Sapping The Joy Out Of Family LifeThe concept of “neuroparenting” is making great waves among parents at the moment, with claims that neuroscience and new knowledge about brain development can help us to know “once and for all” how children ought to be raised.

Why Do We Fall For Fake News?

Why Do We Fall For Fake News?In recent weeks, the amount of online fake news that circulated during the final months of the presidential race is coming to light, a disturbing revelation that threatens to undermine the country’s democratic process.

Is Feminism Killing Romance?

Is Feminism Killing Romance?Heterosexual romantic relationships have historically been all about men courting and “keeping” women. And it’s a powerful tradition.

What Is Parental Alienation And Why It Matters

What Is Parental Alienation And Why It MattersParental alienation – defined as when one parent’s relationship with his or her child is harmed by the other parent – can have devastating consequences.

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIV

Why Male Couples Should Think About HIVIn a relationship there are myriad issues to manage. Who walks the dog? Does his mother like me? Whom are we supporting to win RuPaul’s “Drag Race All Stars 2”? But there is one issue that can often be harder to manage – how do we as a couple deal with HIV?

How To Tell If Your Mate Lying?

How To Tell If Your Mate Lying?A Romantic Liar isn't the man who tells a little white lie now and then to keep your spirits up or fails to tell you the whole truth because he wants to spare your feelings. Some Romantic Liars specialize in concealing the fact that they're married, while others...

Why Toddlers With Autism Might Not Look You In The Eye

Why Toddlers With Autism Might Not Look You In The EyeNew eye-tracking measures show that young children with autism do not avoid eye contact on purpose. Instead, they miss the significance of social information that is in others’ eyes.

Teens Can't Tell The Difference Between Love Or Abuse

Many Teens Can’t Tell The Difference Between Love Or AbuseMany people involved in abusive partner relationships don’t think of the mistreatment as abuse, say researchers. Yet over the course of a lifetime, one-fourth to one-third of women in the United States will experience abuse from an intimate partner.

The Rules of Life: Whose Rule Book Are You Following?

The Rules of Life: Whose Rule Book Are You Following?Are you — right now — living a life completely by your own rules? I’m not talking about your parents’ rules, your boss’s rules, or your partner’s rules... Here's how to make your own rule book so that you’re not living their lives, dreams, frustrations, and visions for you...

The Surprising Origins Of Post-truth

The Surprising Origins Of Post-truth“Post-truth” has been announced as the Oxford Dictionaries’ international word of the year. It is widely associated with US president-elect Donald Trump’s extravagantly untruthful assertions and the working-class people who voted for him nonetheless.

Toxic Communication Patterns: Put-downs and Shut-downs

Toxic Communication Patterns: Put-downs and Shut-downsPut-downs are terms of disrespect, of ridicule and humiliation. I use the term shut-down for a form of communication that, instead of opening up a topic and encouraging debate and healthy conflict, shuts it off. Shut-downs may be overt but shut-downs can also be very subtle...

Why The Selfie Should Not Be A Dirty Word

selfie artThree years ago, on the 18th of November, 2013, the Oxford English Dictionary named the term “selfie” as their Word of the Year.

Why Super-niche Dating Apps Are No Shortcut To Love

Why Super-niche Dating Apps Are No Shortcut To LoveAttempting to game the mysteries of love – or, in dating site eHarmony’s terms, “the secret sauce of attraction” – is nothing new. Equally old, of course, is the failure inherent in all such attempts to do so.

How Do You Talk To Kids About Racism?

How Do You Talk To Kids About Racism?Issues related to racism and racial discrimination feature in our news and social media feeds with alarming regularity. This year more and more stories have emerged...

Why Young Children Are Terrible At Hiding

Why Young Children Are Terrible At HidingYoung children across the globe enjoy playing games of hide and seek. There’s something highly exciting for children about escaping someone else’s glance and making oneself “invisible.”

Conscious Communication: Not Reacting from a Fear-Based Mentality

Conscious Communication: Learning Not to React from a Fear-Based MentalityAs human beings, the greatest gift we have at our disposal can also be the greatest weapon—words. We can heal ourselves, others, and the world with words; yet they can also be used in a destructive manner. Most of us are unaware that the ways in which we relate are entirely distorted and unnatural.

They're Playing Your Song... Are You Singing Along?

They're Playing Your Song... Are You Singing Along?When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration...

Healing Our Family Tree and Unfolding Our Full Capabilities and Talents

Healing Our Family Tree and Unfolding Our Full Capabilities and TalentsWe frequently feel cut off from our clan of origin at some given moment during our work on the self. In discovering our true nature, we will also discover at what point the family ignored and neglected us. When undergoing the abuse, we feel like an orphan, yet the fruit and the tree are still joined by bonds of obvious or underlying love.

What Are The Perils Of A Life In Isolation?

What Are The Perils Of A Life In Isolation?Humans are hardwired to interact with others, especially during times of stress. On the other hand, when we go through a trying ordeal alone, a lack of emotional support and comradeship can increase our anxiety and hinder our ability to cope.

How Parents Shape The Advantages Of Being First-born

How Parents Shape The Advantages Of Being First-bornThe title of this article might trigger self-satisfied smiles among first-borns, and some concerns among the rest of us.

Hanging Out With Friends Makes Life Less Stressful

Chimp Study Shows How Hanging Out With Friends Makes Life Less StressfulWhether offering us consolation after the death of a loved one or commiseration when our team loses yet again, our social relationships are invaluable for helping us lead happier, less stressful lives.

The Way of the Expansive Spirit for Young Athletes

The Way of the Expansive Spirit for Young AthletesI love how Eastern thought and Native American tradition emphasize the essential goodness in all children. The Tao calls this essential goodness the way of the expansive spirit. Our work is to guide our kids to discover this goodness within themselves...

Why Kids In Kindergarten Need Lessons In Self-control

Why Kids In Kindergarten Need Lessons In Self-controlAs they enter kindergarten, many children are still learning to control their behavior and may need educational support to develop that critical skill, a new study suggests.

How Should We Teach Our Kids To Use Digital Media?

How Should We Teach Our Kids To Use Digital Media?Any time a new technology is introduced, it disrupts values, routines and behaviors. This goes back well before the printing press replaced oral histories or the telephone replaced face-to-face conversations, but is evident today in our regular habits of checking our smartphones for notifications.

The Truth About Soul Mates

The Truth About Soul MatesThere will be times when someone special will walk into your life and a bonding of the spirits will take place. This means that both people are compatible, and that their inner spirits are harmonious with each other. Because of this, a kinship is started first, followed by deep inner emotional feelings for each other...

What Do Your Boundaries Say About You?

What Do Your Boundaries Say About You?In our lives -- and in relationships -- we create personal boundaries to define the space we call our own. We set boundaries and say “no” with our words, with our behavior and actions. Boundaries may sound negative, but in reality, they are very important and help to define our personal identities.

What's Love Got To Do With It? Everything!

What's Love Got To Do With It? Everything!Over the years, I have come to understand that much of what people identify as love is nothing of the sort. It is codependency, lust, neediness, addiction, and the ego's constant desire for attention. Sadly, the overwhelming majority of television shows, movies, and music really reflects a spiritual sickness...

How To Be Real, Authentic, and Juicy

How To Be Real, Authentic, and JuicyOne of the qualities Buddhists strive for on the path to enlightenment is called “sameness of being.” It means being exactly who you authentically are, no matter who you are interacting with. To be your most authentic self, you must get over your habits of worrying about....

What Is The Proper Way To Praise Your Child?

What Is The Proper Way To Praise Your Child?How do you react when you hear expressions like “well done”, “another A grade”, “aren’t you clever” and “great work”?

Should You Let Your Gifted Child Skip A Grade?

Grade-skippers have been found to do well academically. MJGDSLibrary, CC BY-NC-NDThe American school system puts students in grades based on age. However, for a large number of students, being with same-age peers in the classroom does not work.

enafarzh-CNzh-TWnltlfifrdehiiditjakomsnofaptruessvtrvi

follow InnerSelf on

facebook-icontwitter-iconrss-icon

 Get The Latest By Email

{emailcloak=off}

FROM THE EDITORS

InnerSelf Newsletter: September 20, 2020
by InnerSelf Staff
The theme of the newsletter this week can be summed up as "you can do it" or more specifically "we can do it!". This is another way of saying "you/we have the power to make a change". The image of…
What Works For Me: "I Can Do It!"
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
The reason I share "what works for me" is that it may work for you as well. If not exactly the way I do it, since we are all unique, some variance of the attitude or method may very well be something…
InnerSelf Newsletter: September 6, 2020
by InnerSelf Staff
We see life through the lenses of our perception. Stephen R. Covey wrote: “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.” So this week, we take a look at some…
InnerSelf Newsletter: August 30, 2020
by InnerSelf Staff
The roads we are travelling these days are as old as the times, yet are new for us. The experiences we are having are as old as the times, yet they also are new for us. The same goes for the…
When The Truth Is So Terrible It Hurts, Take Action
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
Amidst all the horrors taking place these days, I am inspired by the rays of hope that shine through. Ordinary people standing up for what is right (and against what is wrong). Baseball players,…