Meditating 101
by Sandy Goodman
 I
am probably the last person that should be saying how, when, and where to
meditate. I have set a goal of daily meditation at least a hundred times, and I
haven't succeeded for more than three consecutive days. It isn't a matter of not
liking to meditate. I do, I really do. It is a matter of not taking the
time to do it. I need to make it a priority in my life, and as of today, I
haven't. So as you read what I think you should do, please take it with a grain
of salt.
First of all, some things to avoid:
- Don't try to force something to occur. If you go into a trance and see
Jesus, Buddha, and Elvis, that's fantastic. But don't go into your meditation
expecting it.
- Don't overevaluate the meditation. When it's over, enjoy the serenity and
just be with it as it is. Analyzing takes away the feeling.
- Don't spend a lot of time trying to make your mind empty. You will
experience a quieting of your mind, but it will happen spontaneously when you
find the right meditation.
- Don't worry about "doing it right." Any attempt to listen to your heart is
better than no attempt at all.
Now for the do's:
- Find a quiet place. No telephone, no television, no doorbell. If that
means you have to take a pillow into the bathroom and lock the door, then do
it. If the bathroom is a busy place at your home, I suggest you go to your
local cemetery. Take a flower, sit by a grave, and don't make eye contact with
anyone. I can almost guarantee you won't be bothered.
- Make sure you have gone to the bathroom and gotten a drink before you
start. If you're hungry, have a snack.
- Get comfortable. Take off your shoes, loosen your clothing, relax. I
cannot lay down without going to sleep, so I have to sit up. However, if you
can stay awake, lying down is fine.
- Close your eyes and relax your body. Beginning at your feet and moving up
to your head, tense and then relax every muscle group. Hold the tension and
inhale, then relax as you exhale. Once you get the hang of this, you won't
need to actually go through each step. A breath or two and you will
automatically relax.
- Focus on your breathing. Breathe in through your nose, and out through
your mouth. I am not sure why this works best, but it does. Make sure you take
deep breaths, filling your lungs and stomach. Hold each breath as long as you
can between the inhale and the exhale.
Okay, you're good to go. You can keep your eyes open if it works, or close
them if it doesn't. I close mine and stare at the back of my eyelids. If I focus
on that blackness, I can keep my thoughts at bay, which is what you want to
eventually accomplish.
After many periods of watching that black wall, I was elated when it suddenly
became three-dimensional. One minute I was looking at a flat surface, and the
next minute I was in it. I felt like I could plunge into it, fly forever, and
never touch physical matter. You will also see colors. Great splotches of
iridescent colors, floating in from behind or approaching from in front of you.
Just observe as you would a movie, and stay relaxed. Don't make the mistake of
assuming that your meditation is complete if and when you stop seeing colors.
Your meditation is complete when you choose to stop. Twenty to thirty minutes is
good, and you'll most likely start feeling antsy by then. Just bring your
awareness back to where you are and end your meditation.
There are numerous techniques for meditation. You might prefer listening to
soothing music without vocals. There are tapes available that use a repeating
tone (binaural beat) devised to shift your brain waves into specific states.
Staring at a focal point and concentrating only on it can move some into a
meditative state. It might be a blank space on a white wall, a pattern in a
carpet, or a candle flame. Repeating a mantra (short phrase) either aloud or in
your mind sometimes aids in reducing outside thoughts and noise. There are
guided meditations that can be purchased on tape, or you can make your own by
recording one in your own voice. Guided meditations take you through a
relaxation process and usually some other type of "scene" where you are working
toward a goal of centering, stress reduction, weight loss, etc. Try different
methods until you find what works.
Centering is meditation in action . . . staying in the calm. Being centered
means not allowing your inner peace to be shattered by negative thoughts. When
you are centered you are in a state of clarity and balance. A good centering
technique will require only minimal concentration, permitting you to keep the
majority of your attention on whatever else it is you are doing at the time.
Here is an example of a very easy centering technique:
- Take several slow, deep breaths.
- With each in-breath, think or say "Breathe in calm."
- With each out-breath, think or say "Breathe out a smile." (It is nearly
impossible to not smile when you do this.)
Meditating is a process that allows me to shake off the business of living in
the physical. It erases the bills that are due tomorrow, the dishes that need to
be washed, and the list on my desk. It brings me back to what matters, which is
my center, which is love, which is what unites all of us. It reminds me of who I
am. When I meditate regularly, I am much more open to what is going on beyond
what I can see, hear, or touch. It's like a light switch in a dark room. Once
you find it and learn how and when to use it, things become much clearer.
Okay, Meditating 101. Sit. Relax. Breathe. Accept. That's it. No
expectations, no rules. Do it regularly and you will never again be clueless as
to what to do when feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
This
article was excerpted from:
 Love Never Dies
by Sandy Goodman.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Jodere Group, Inc. ©2001. www.jodere.com
Info/Order this book.
About the Author
SANDY
GOODMAN is the mother of three sons, including twins, Jason and Josh. Jason died
of electrocution at the age of 18. His death started Sandy on a path of
spiritual exploration through her grief. Sandy is now the founder, chapter
leader and newsletter editor of the Wind River Chapter of The Compassionate
Friends where she and her husband of 28 years live in central Wyoming. Visit her
website at
http://www.LoveNeverDies.net
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