Withdrawing Projections
by Bill Plotkin, Ph.D.
Why do we project our repressed parts? Why can't or don't those
parts just remain peacefully buried -- or asleep in the basement -- and
let us go on undisturbed with our "normal" lives? One possibility is
that projection increases the psychological distance between ourselves
and the projected qualities, thereby defending ourselves from the
possibility that we possess those qualities.
But there is another possibility. As the mythologies of all time -- and the depth psychologists of the twentieth century -- have been
telling us, there is this irrepressible urge within each of us toward
wholeness. Some would say this is why we have incarnated, to become
more fully who we are in our deepest essence. The long black bag we
drag behind us is an all-inclusive, custom-made storehouse of
everything we need in our quest to become whole. The soul is not going
to be happy if we try to sleep away our lives, although we may succeed
at it nonetheless. The soul can't make us wake up, but it can and does
see to it that we project. That way we are likely to run smack into the
wall of our own unlived potential. If we can recognize our projections,
then we can embrace the painful opportunity to both heal and whole
ourselves.
So we project. Apparently there is no way to avoid it even while there are limitless ways to ignore or deny it.
Robert Bly agrees that projection is a fortunate thing indeed.
Without it, he notes, we might never have the opportunity to own back
those hidden, not-yet-embodied parts. Thank god, then, for the screens
upon which we project: our friends, family, the famous, the infamous,
foreigners, infidels, and the forms and forces of nature. Without those
screens, our projections would simply sail into outer space like errant
radio waves, and we would never get to see our hidden aspects.
There are actually two ways in which we project onto others. The
first is when we project our own unrecognized personal qualities. The
second is when we project the qualities of someone from our past onto
people in our present.
Psychologists refer to the latter as transference -- unfinished
emotional business from our past is transferred onto our current
relationships. Most commonly what is unfinished is our relationships
with our parents (or other childhood caregivers). Our souls want us to
revisit those central, often traumatic, and incomplete relationships so
that we can heal and learn. The soul does this by arranging for us to
experience people from our current life -- our lovers, friends, friends'
spouses, colleagues, bosses, teachers, psychotherapists, gurus -- as if
they were the same sort of people as those major players from our
childhood. That way we can find ourselves forming current relationships
that resemble those from our past.
Consciously, we don't want that. But our souls recognize an
opportunity. If we can re-create the same kinds of relationship
problems we were unable to solve in childhood, we have another chance
to get it right, to act and relate in ways that don't limit us.
Transference gives us the opportunity to discover how we have
unwittingly created many of the dysfunctional qualities of our
relationships (both old and new) in our attempts to protect ourselves
from abandonment or emotional annihilation as children. Now, in adulthood, we
have the opportunity to remove those barriers to self-expression and
individuation and heal the wounds exposed when we do. But we aren't
likely to do that work until we can see those barriers. How are we
going to see them? Through the transference of old feelings onto
current relationships.
The Jungian analyst James Hollis summarizes five stages in
projecting and re-owning the abandoned parts of ourselves. In the first
stage, we are convinced that what we are unconsciously projecting is
true of the other. When we fall in love, for example, we are certain
the other (about whom we almost never really know anything) is the most
extraordinary being on the face of the planet. We are projecting the
desirable and desired qualities of the inner Other (the soul) and/or
the desirable qualities of someone from our past. In stage two, we
become increasingly and shockingly aware of the discrepancy between who
we thought the other was (and was supposed to be) and who they are
turning out to be. We become certain there must be something wrong with
the other and we attempt to control them, change them, fix them. Now we
are projecting onto the other the negative qualities of the inner Other
and/or the person from our past. The third stage requires us, for the
first time, to really look at the other, to see more clearly who they
are, and to begin to ask what is actually going on in our relationship.
In stage four, we withdraw the projections by recognizing that we were
in fact projecting, that what we thought was the outer Other was
actually, in part, the inner and/or the person from our past. And,
finally, in stage five, through our inner work, we come to see exactly
what it was in us we were projecting in the first place, and why.
The withdrawal of projections obliges us to consciously suffer the
discrepancy between what we had hoped for and what we have. This takes
much courage, heart, honesty, and a great desire to grow and become
whole, a desire that must be stronger than the wish to be saved by an
omnipotent other or to remain comfortable and secure.
How do we know when we are projecting versus being in genuine
conversation with another? No guaranteed signs. But projection is
likely to be a significant part of the mix when we fall in love, when
we have strong feelings -- positive or negative -- about people we know
little about, when we have a strong somatic reaction (e.g., queasiness,
butterflies, lightheadedness) to someone, and/or when we notice our
emotional reaction seems to be much greater than the circumstances
warrant. We are surely projecting when we see another person (or
nation) as evil or, conversely, when we feel someone is going to make
everything all right for us.
In order to begin to withdraw your projections, you must first
become aware that you are projecting. (There is little or no chance you
will catch yourself before you do it. You must first suffer the
discrepancy and recognize it as the source of your suffering.) Then you
can ask yourself: What exactly is the quality I like or don't like in
the other? What emotions are evoked by those qualities? How have I
acted on those emotions? Where do I find these same qualities in
myself? What have I done to disown them and why? In what ways might my
experience of this person be similar to how I experienced someone from
my family of origin?
Then you might identify the parts of your self that you have
disowned and give them names. Using deep imagery work (having a trained
imagery guide is recommended), you can develop a relationship with
those disowned parts. Dialogue with those parts, either in your imagery
or by using empty chairs and imagining those parts in those chairs. You
might also choose to sit in the empty chairs and take the place of the
other parts and respond to the ego. Or you might carry out the dialogue
in your journal.
You might also notice that your disowned parts are showing up in
your dreams. These dream characters can serve to enrich the mix of both
your journal work and deep imagery with your disowned parts.
This article was excerpted from:
 Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche
by Bill Plotkin, Ph.D.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New World Library. ©2003. www.newworldlibrary.com
Info/Order this book.
About the Author
Bill Plotkin, PhD, has been a psychotherapist, research psychologist,
rock musician, river runner, professor of psychology, and mountain-bike
racer. As a research psychologist, he studied dreams and nonordinary
states of consciousness achieved through meditation, biofeedback, and
hypnosis. The founder and president of Animas Valley Institute, he has
guided thousands of people through initiatory passages in nature since
1980. Currently an ecotherapist, depth psychologist, and wilderness
guide, he leads a variety of experiential, nature-based individuation
programs.
Visit Bill Plotkin online at www.natureandthehumansoul.com.
More articles by this author.
| Comments () >> |
 |
 |
