Nothing Goes

Nothing Goes

by Swami Beyondananda

What if I told you you could do nothing all day and become fabulously wealthy in the process? If you say "No way!" I say, "Absolutely right." Because now, thanks to my new network marketing company, NoWay, you can make a fortune selling boxes of Nothing.

I want you to think about all those people who told you that nothing could make you rich and successful. Well, here is your chance to prove them right! Yes, if you feel you have been working for nothing all these years, now it is time to have Nothing to work for you.

I tell you, this is a business opportunity whose time has come, because no matter what your problem is, Nothing will help. For example, Nothing has been proven to cure every disease imaginable. That's right. Studies show that placebos alone are effective in about 20% of cases ? and what better placebo than Nothing? And you can forget about pesky product liability lawsuits. We promise Nothing ? and we deliver. How many companies can make that claim?

Imagine how refreshing it will be for your friends who have been inundated with multilevel marketing opportunities. You can truthfully tell them you have Nothing to sell ? and then sell it to them! Yes, in a world filled with products that are really nothing disguised as something, you can sell something disguised as nothing.

Think of all those pessimystics out there who insist that nothing can help the starving multitudes, nothing can alleviate poverty, nothing can revive our neighborless 'hoods. I say, let's prove them right and prove them wrong at the same time.

Imagine armies of homeless folks or unemployed young men selling boxes of Nothing door-to-door. "They told me nothing could get me off the streets," they might say, "and I am hoping they are right. Will you help?"

Now why, you might ask, would anyone be interested in buying Nothing? Well, for one thing, most of us already have everything. In fact, we have so much of everything that we can't appreciate nothing.

After all, God made the entire Universe from nothing. And the same holds true of our own creations. Every painting begins with an empty canvas, every book with a blank page, every symphony with silence to be filled. As Harry Cohen Baba used to say, "Listen, if you don't know nothing, you don't know nothing."

Of course, being a FUNdamentalist, I couldn't resist putting some funny jokes about nothing on the box. This is a perfect product for those diagnosed with humorrhoids and who insist, "Nothing makes me laugh." So not only will you be striking a blow for the invisible nothing in a world cluttered with visible somethings, but you will be raising the laugh force on the planet ? and creating a mannafestival of the first order.

Imagine millions and millions of people all around the globe being fed and prospered by Nothing. Now that's what I call manifesting manna!

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