Death Is Part of Our Life Path and Brings Its Own Gifts

Before you can deal with your present, you have to deal with your past. You cannot heal from the losses you've experienced until you feel the pain and sadness connected to each and every event.

We're not just talking about the death of a parent, sibling, or spouse here. We're also talking about the death of your first dog, moving away from your best friend, the divorce of your parents, the flood that ravaged through your town, your high school heartbreak, and the death of a grandparent.

Acceptance Is The Key

Acceptance is the key that makes it all possible. Delving into your emotions may mean that you become angry with yourself or the people you love. But time does heal the deepest of wounds. When you're willing to face your grief, when you're willing to accept what is, in time, your anger will turn to understanding and forgiveness.

You don't have to like your losses, but the path to healing is through acceptance — a learned skill that comes only from doing. The more you courageously face your losses and accept what is, the more you will heal and the happier you will be.

Grieving Doesn't Have an End Date

I would love to tell you that there's a designated starting point and a clearly marked end date to kick this grief business in the you know what. When that date would arrive, you'd be all done — never again to shed even a tear. Lord, how I wish! No more anguish. No more crying. No more depression.


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That's just not realistic. Most things heal with time; other things will never totally disappear — the emotional strain of a disability, for instance, or the death of a beloved. While time heals most of our wounds, some scars remain.

What to Do if You're Still Hanging On

It's common, from time to time, even after you've done your grief work, to want to go backward toward what's familiar and pull the blanket of grief back over your head. For some reason, especially when we're particularly tired or stressed, we desperately want to stay connected to those we love. We miss them and therefore want to hold on. We ache for just one more moment in their presence, and we slip into woulda-coulda-shoulda thoughts of how things should have gone differently. Or sometimes we feel guilty for being happy.

Denial and anger are natural bedfellows. As much as you may want to grieve, doing so is often initially painful, thus understandably avoided. Many seek help and guidance from psychics, mediums, priests, or other third parties to provide them with at least one more chance to talk with their loved one to get answers about what happened, why, or what's next.

Death Is Part of Our Life Path

I would have gone to a thousand psychics if I'd thought it would have brought Kathy back or helped me talk with her. But I stumbled upon the possibility of doing it on my own when I started talking with her directly. Sure it felt odd, forging a relationship with a person no longer here in the physical form. But talking with Kathy made me feel good.

Twenty-five years ago, I would never have dreamed I'd recommend such craziness, but I liked how relieved I felt after getting things off my chest. I became accustomed to how peaceful I felt every time Kathy seemed to send me a sign.

Now, after countless instances of proof that Kathy continues to exist happily somewhere else and yet still delights in making my life on earth not only safer and more abundant, but also funnier and more exciting, I would say that, along with the birth of my children, my sister's passing is the most glorious gift I've ever received.

I no longer see her early death as tragic. I no longer feel anger or grief about how she was taken so young. Instead, I see her death as a powerful part of our life path this time around, something that has empowered me, heightened my intuition, and expanded my vision of what I'm capable of and what it means to be alive.

Loss Brings Its Own Gifts

The death of a loved one can be an invaluable wake-up call that helps those left behind get on a better path. Sometimes our loss — as hard as it is — affects us and inspires us to do something we'd never do otherwise.

I've been blessed to know wonderful people who have faced unthinkable pain. Two in particular lost their children to tragic accidents. But it was because of their loss that they changed careers. It was because of their loss that they became more spiritual. It was because of their loss that they became more loving and compassionate.

It was because of their loss that they were able to start enterprises, teach others, write books, and counsel parents going through similar pain. It was through their loss that they touched the hearts of many others and changed lives for the better, forever. These are a few of the gifts available to us all the time.

If you're having a hard time seeing the gifts in your loss, be patient with yourself. When you can, take a moment to look beyond just you. Is it possible that the death of your beloved has brought an extended family member or members back into the fold? Is it possible that their death has erased old hurts or grudges within the family that had been infecting the love for years? Is it possible that this death has given someone close to you a nudge to do what they've always dreamed of doing but were too fearful to try? Is it possible . . . be open to the gifts and blessings from your loss.

This excerpt was reprinted with permission of
the publisher, Hampton Roads Publishing.
©2012. www.redwheelweiser.com

(subtitles by InnerSelf)

Article Source

Closer Than You Think: The Easy Guide to Connecting with Loved Ones on the Other Side by Deborah Heneghan.Closer Than You Think: The Easy Guide to Connecting with Loved Ones on the Other Side
by Deborah Heneghan.

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About the Author

Deborah Heneghan, author of the book -- Closer Than You Think: The Easy Guide to Connecting with Loved Ones on the Other Side.Deborah Heneghan is a working mother who has been communicating with her deceased sister for over 25 years. She is the founder of Closer Than You Think, a national resource for after-death communications, grief management and learning how to live a more spiritually fulfilled life. She teaches teleseminars, holds retreats/workshops, does speaking engagements, has her own weekly radio show, and has appeared on Lifetime TV, and programs on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox.  Her passion and life mission is to help others find the blessings and gifts from all of life's experiences. Visit her website at www.closerthanyouthinkthebook.com