Child walking into school with backpack, smiling parent waving goodbye, representing a positive start to primary school.

 In this Article:

  • How can you help your child feel excited about starting school?
  • What to do when your child shows anxiety about school
  • Simple ways to build your child’s curiosity about school
  • How to foster positive relationships in and around school
  • What to expect during the first few weeks of primary school
  • Tips for managing your own well-being as a parent
Tips to Help Your Child Start School Successfully
by Will Shield, University of Exeter

Starting primary school is a momentous and exciting time for children. A positive start to school has been linked to children’s social and academic success in their first year at school.

Children generally adjust well to new environments, routines and structure. However, the transition to school can be a nerve-racking time for parents and carers, who are often worried about whether their child will make new friends, understand the rules and make academic progress.

Lots of children look forward to starting school, but many will also feel apprehensive. Their worries may become apparent through behaviour such as becoming clingy and finding it tricky to separate from parents and carers, becoming more emotional and having larger responses than expected.

They may refuse to follow instructions or directions like they usually would. After the first few weeks of term, they may be reluctant to go to school, feel sick or show negative attitudes towards school.

These are all typical ways in which children express their feelings about change and uncertainty. It’s likely that they will decrease over time as a child adapts to the new routine of school. But knowing this doesn’t necessarily make life any easier for parents.


innerself subscribe graphic


Here are a few tips to help your child start and settle in to school, drawn from my experience as a child and educational psychologist.

Build optimism and joy

Children want to know about their new school and the new people they will meet. Creating excitement about school is important. In the buildup to the first day, walk past your child’s new school with them and help them try on the school uniform, talking positively as you do so.

If your child tells you about any anxieties or worries, don’t dismiss them or avoid the subject, but listen and reassure them that you will help them overcome any difficulties.

Encourage curiosity

Encourage your child’s curiosity about school by asking them what they enjoyed about nursery or pre-school and talking with them about what they might be looking forward to at school. You could link daily experiences to school – perhaps wondering aloud about what play equipment is on the school playground while at the local park.

You could discuss what your child might learn at school, and explore related activities at home. For example, when reading your child’s favourite book, you could talk about whether other children might have read the same one.

Focus on relationships

When your child starts school, focus on making time to connect with them during your morning and bedtime routines. Think about ways to remind your child that you are thinking about them: you could give them something of yours to keep in their bag, or draw a small heart on their hand to remind them of you. Reconnect with your child at the end of the day with a big smile and snacks for the journey home.

A common worry for parents is that their child will not make friends. You can help your child meet the social demands of school by modelling key social skills, such as saying hello to their classmates and other parents at school drop-off and pick-up.

Positive relationships between families and schools are also important. Speak to your child’s teacher: they will likely have supported lots of children through this transition and they will be happy to talk to you.

Understand the demands of school – and celebrate the wins

Expect your child to be more tired than usual and their behaviour may also feel more challenging at times as they adjust. Reduce all expectations after school and don’t worry if you don’t make it to their usual club or swimming lesson in the first few weeks.

Although you will be keen to find out about their day, limit your questions on pick-up and give them the opportunity to offer information in their own time. Also, accept that bedtimes might be tricky as your child processes their new experiences.

Celebrate your child’s successes at school by offering praise and positive feedback. Focus on what they have achieved and what they have enjoyed in the first few days of term.

Remember your own wellbeing

Importantly, look after yourself. Children are remarkably resilient to change when they have the support and guidance of trusted adults around them. Schedule time to focus on your own wellbeing in the first few weeks of school.

Connect with friends, speak to other parents and remain hopeful and optimistic about your child’s first year at school. Take the time to get to know other new parents in your child’s class. The chances are they will be feeling similarly to you.

Will Shield, Child and Educational Psychologist / Senior Lecturer, University of Exeter

Article Recap:

Helping your child start school can be both exciting and challenging. With these primary school transition tips, you'll learn how to build excitement, foster curiosity, and support your child emotionally as they adjust to the demands of their new school environment. Strengthening relationships and managing your own well-being will ensure the transition goes smoothly for both you and your child.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

break

Related Books:

Here are 5 non-fiction books on parenting that are currently Best Sellers on Amazon.com:

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

This book provides practical strategies for parents to help their children develop emotional intelligence, self-regulation, and resilience using insights from neuroscience.

Click for more info or to order

No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

The authors of The Whole-Brain Child offer guidance for parents to discipline their children in a way that promotes emotional regulation, problem-solving, and empathy.

Click for more info or to order

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

This classic book provides practical communication techniques for parents to connect with their children and foster cooperation and respect.

Click for more info or to order

The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

by Simone Davies

This guide offers insights and strategies for parents to implement Montessori principles at home and foster their toddler's natural curiosity, independence, and love of learning.

Click for more info or to order

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

by Dr. Laura Markham

This book offers practical guidance for parents to shift their mindset and communication style to foster connection, empathy, and cooperation with their children.

Click for more info or to order