Relationship Questions: Before You Say I Do

Listed below are a few of the questions one should consider before marriage (and even for current married relationships).

  • Do you agree on the importance of monogamy to protect the relationship?

  • What are your attitudes toward education and its place in your lives individually and as a family?

  • Is forgiveness an essential element of your relationship?

  • Are your career/vocation goals compatible?

  • How important is material wealth to each of you?

  • Do you share a desire for children?

  • Have you discussed your personal ethics?

  • Do you share political views?

  • What is your financial situation as you enter the marriage?

  • Do you both plan on working?

  • Who will handle the family accounts?

  • Do you cultivate honesty and good communication skills with each other?

  • Do you share attitudes toward charitable giving?

  • What are your attitudes toward the use of credit cards?

  • What are your attitudes toward issues of race, gender and sexual preference?

  • What is your vision for the world?

  • Do you practice a particular religion?

  • Do you agree on the spiritual upbringing of any children you might have?

  • Do you feel a need to "convert" your partner?

  • Have you discussed your health history with each other? If the answer is no, start now!

  • Are you tolerant of spiritual views that differ from your own?

  • Do you respect each others need for some solitude?

  • What are your attitudes towards alcohol, drugs, and smoking?

  • What are your attitudes toward holistic medicine?

  • Is there any history of abuse, sexual or otherwise, for either partner, or in their families?

  • Do you accept that you may grow spiritually at different paces?

  • Do your partner's lifestyle habits irritate you?

  • How do you handle conflict?

  • If you have been married before, what's different this time?

  • Has your partner ever forced sex when you didn't want it?

  • What do you expect of each other in terms of division of household chores, cooking, home maintenance, etc.

  • Do you understand and respect each others needs for foreplay?

  • Do you feel unfulfilled if your lovemaking doesn't lead to orgasm every time?

This article was excerpted from the book:

Marriage - Heart to Heart Questions to Discuss Before You Say I Do
by Hans J. Keller and MaryEllen O'Brien.

Reprinted with permission. Published by VisionLink Education Foundation, P.O. Box 4247, South Burlington, VT 05406. ©1994. 802-863-2726.

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About the Authors

Hans Keller is a Swiss born globalist and leading edge thinker. MaryEllen O'Brien is a broadcaster and writer.