We've Been Limiting the Love We Get by Limiting the Love We Give!

Love is the essence of your being. Love is what you are. It is not something you get depending on what you do, but an inner presence that is experienced when you are being you now.

The amount of love you experience has very little to do with how much affection you get from other people. Quite the opposite in fact! You experience Love by being open to give love fully. As a result, there is no upper limit on the amount of love that you can experience in this lifetime.

Love is like air. It is present throughout your day,
even if at times you aren’t aware of it existing.
And like air, love supports life,
without needing anything in return.

Living and Loving with Mind-Based Conditions

Relationships tend to break down when one or both people involved withdraw from giving love. The main thing that limits the love you give is the set of mind-based conditions you (unintentionally) place upon what is required for yourself, other people and life to be deemed loveable. These conditions act as “hoops” that people and life circumstances have to jump through in order to warrant your love.

Notice the reasons that you may have unintentionally invented for not loving yourself as you are now:


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“I’ll love my life when I’ve improved my bank balance, left my job, grown my business ...”
“I’ll be loveable when I meet someone who loves me.”
“I’ll love myself when this, when that ...”

Notice the reasons you may give yourself for not loving other people as they are now. Notice the conditions that your mind has created, which can be limiting the love you get to enjoy.

“I’ll love other people when I’ve known them long enough,
...when they’ve proven themselves to me,
...when they’re more fun, better looking, more popular ...”

Learning to Love without Limits

Now it doesn’t take a genius to appreciate that the more of these conditions you have, the less love you will ultimately enjoy, and the fewer conditions, the more love you naturally experience. The even better news is that these conditions all exist in your mind and the mind can be both changed and transcended.

Learn how to love things perfectly
instead of trying to find perfect things to love.

In his book Awareness, Anthony De Mello writes, “We are not here to change the world, we are here to love it.” The power of this statement is profound. In only a few words he takes the focus away from us trying to change the external world and places the power and responsibility instead in our own hands; specifically, in our willingness to learn how to love fully. Incidentally, I would also suggest that you are not here to change yourself, but instead, to learn how to love yourself fully, exactly as you are.

What would happen if you simply let go of all conditions
and allowed yourself to love yourself
completely, for all that you are, now?

Genuine unconditional love has no rules, no claiming, no ownership, no judgments, no expectations and no conditions. You simply love yourself, others and life circumstances, without needing specific reasons. You love all things now. The moment reasons come into play, you attach conditions to love. In order for you to love unconditionally, let go of having to have any logical reasons to love and let life be enough, exactly as it is.

Stop loving people, places, events or things “because”
and let them be. Stop waiting to love things
when they are different.
Everything just is and unconditional love embraces all.

Trust that your life exists to teach you how to love. Everything in your life right now, and by that I mean your current career, relationships, finances and so on, are all set up perfectly to help you learn how to love fully, and in doing so, to embrace the magnificent moment you’re in.

If you want to love your time on Earth,
then let go of conditions.

Seeing with Fresh Eyes: Pretend There Is No Past

We've Been Limiting the Love We Get by Limiting the Love We Give!Play with exploring what it is like to be completely fresh and innocent with the people in your life. See them with fresh eyes. Let go of any preconceived ideas you may have about your partner, parent(s), family members, friends and colleagues. Just be with them fully, giving them 100% of your attention. As if it is the first and last time you will get to be in their company. Don’t try to manipulate any specific outcome from the interactions. Be open to whatever naturally wants to occur.

Pretend there is no past. You have no history with anyone. Pretend that the people in your life are perfect exactly as they are; that they just want to be happy, experience peace and know they are loved. Your “soul task” is to interact with people with fewer judgments or expectations. Don’t wait for someone else to love you before you love them. You might be the very person in their life to show them how to love more unconditionally. Be the light that guides others home to the heart.

TOOL # 22: Love Levels

Evaluate how loving you are towards yourself and other people. Do you love yourself unconditionally? Use the “Love Levels” Tool to explore this question.

This is an awareness-raising exercise, so use what you discover to be gentle towards yourself and your life and make loving changes if and where required.

LOVING YOURSELF: On a scale of 1–10, how much would you say you love and accept yourself exactly as you are today?

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10 + MORE

WHAT DO YOU NOT LOVE AND ACCEPT ABOUT YOURSELF? 

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LOVING LIFE: On a scale of 1–10, how much would you say you love and accept your life for what it is today?

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10 + MORE

WHAT DO YOU NOT LOVE AND ACCEPT ABOUT YOUR LIFE?

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Notice your reasons for NOT loving yourself, other people and your life unconditionally. Be willing to let them go to be free to love fully.

©2013 by Sandy C. Newbigging. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Findhorn Press. www.findhornpress.com.

New Beginnings: Ten Teachings for Making the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life by Sandy C. Newbigging.Article Source:

New Beginnings: Ten Teachings for Making the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life  --  by Sandy C. Newbigging.

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About the Author

Sandy C. Newbigging, author of: New BeginningsSandy C. Newbigging is a meditation teacher and the creator of the Mind Detox and Mind Calm methods. He is the author of several books, including Life-Changing Weight Loss, Life Detox, New Beginnings, Peace for Life, and Thunk!  His work has been seen on Discovery Health Channel and he is a regular writer for Huffington Post and Yoga Magazine. Recently commended by the Federation of Holistic Therapists as ‘Tutor of the Year’, he has clinics in the UK, runs residential retreats internationally and trains Practitioners via his Mind Detox Academy. Visit his website at http://www.sandynewbigging.com/

Watch a video with Sandy: 4 Tips For Enjoying More Love In Your Life