Image by Lukas Bieri
Editor's Note: Above video is a short 3:28 minute recap of the article.
The audio below is of the complete article.
In This Article:
- What differentiates a habit from an addiction?
- Are you addicted to your exercise routine?
- How do "good" addictions impact your life?
- When does a preference become a dependency?
- How can awareness and flexibility help overcome addictions?
Is it a Like, Preference, a Habit, or an Addiction?
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
Some things we just enjoy… a walk in nature, playing with our pet, scrolling through social media, a cup of coffee, a sugary donut… And some of these things become habits if we do them regularly. And then some of them become addictions.
So, when does a habit, or a preference, become an addiction? I would say that it’s when we think we need it and can’t do without it. Or when if we don't have it, we feel like our world will end or we will be miserable.
Now the easiest one to examine (and possibly the most common) is coffee. It started out as something we enjoyed… thus, a preference. We preferred coffee in the morning to water, for example, or maybe even to orange juice, another traditional morning drink.
Then coffee became a habit… every morning (and, for many, several times during the day), we had a cup of coffee. It then turned into something we do without really making a conscious decision… we just reach for the coffee (or the sugary donut) without a conscious thought. It’s just something we do. That’s now become a habit.
Addiction, Anyone?
The addiction part comes in when we feel like we need the coffee or the sugary donut (or whatever else) to keep going. We just need it or we won’t have the energy to get to work, or to keep working. We need it as a pick me up. When we think we can’t do without something, that is an addiction. Anything that we think we cannot do without is an addiction (in my opinion). I'm not sure if the medical profession or scientists would agree with me, but on a meta-physical level (more than physical) I feel that is the truth.
Even something good like meditation, or exercise, or anything else that we do each day and feel we can’t do without is an addiction… favorite TV show or podcast perhaps? Going for a run? A swim? Whatever it is that you feel you “need” otherwise you’ll be out of sorts, is an addiction.
“Good” Addictions
Now of course some of the things we are addicted to, such as meditation, exercise, etc., are things that are good for us. But the part that is not good is when we think that we can’t survive or get by without it. There are very few things that we can’t survive without: air, water and food (in moderation). The rest are choices we make.
And yes, meditation is good, and exercise is good, but even with that, we need to be flexible and not have it become an attachment or an addiction. Let‘s say you have a routine of exactly what time and how long to meditate, and what time and how long to exercise. Yes it is good to build it into your routine as that helps you stay faithful to your intention.
The problem arrives when you won’t break that routine for anything. And then if you have to break your routine, for reasons out of your control, you get angry, moody, and upset with life or with the person who caused you to break your routine.
Your rigidity then creates stress and anger in you. So at this point, your routine is an addiction… because you think you can’t do without it and get angry when you don’t have it. It goes from being a like or a preference or a habit to something that you can’t or won’t do without... or else!
But… I Need It!
We can also be addicted to attitudes, to people, to certain thoughts… Anything that we can’t let go of, that we think we need in order to “survive” is an addiction. It doesn’t necessarily mean it is bad for you, but the part that is not helpful is the part where you think you need it in order to be happy.
If you think your happiness depends on this thing or person, then you have a problem. Why? Because if that thing (or person) is no longer available or in your life, you will then “lose” your happiness. If this thing, whatever it is, is the source of your happiness, when it goes, there goes your happiness.
So... Are You Addicted?
I’m sure some of you are currently saying (defensively), I’m not addicted to coffee (or donuts, or whatever). I just really enjoy it. And that may be the case. Now some addictions are physical and others mental. Is one easier to deal with than the other? I guess that depends on each person.
So here’s a test for you. See if you can do without that thing for a day. No problem? OK, a week, a month, a year… Ah… that’s where we get to see if there’s an addiction. If you can’t go several days or a week without it, and you get cranky and grumpy and lethargic, then you are dealing with an addiction – whether physical or emotional.
For me, because I’m a strong-willed person (aka stubborn) and I believe in mind over matter, a non-physical addiction is easier to deal with. If I just think I need something, I can talk myself out of it. When I decided to cut salt out of my diet many years ago, I just stopped – cold-turkey. I didn’t have withdrawal symptoms, but my food was absolutely flavorless for about 3 weeks until my taste buds recovered and I started to taste the flavor in foods without the addition of salt. That addiction was more of a “flavor” addiction than a physical one where you crave the substance. I wasn't craving salt. I just missed the flavor it seemed to provide in the food.
But a physical addiction includes a mental and emotional aspect as well as the body’s physical craving, so it’s tougher to conquer. And some addictions are harder than others… cigarettes, coffee, sugar, alcohol… Those have substances that trigger our body’s response and the body will often override our good intentions and distract us from our goal and “make us” do the thing we’ve decided not to do.
And for people who’ve been addicted to alcohol or drugs (cigarettes included) know, once you’ve been addicted, it’s something you have to be aware of for the rest of your life. You “kick the habit” but the mental and physical pathways are still there and it can, unfortunately, be easy to fall back in the rut.
Awareness and Being Present
The key to combating any addiction is awareness and living in the moment. Being conscious of every choice, every action. And it’s so easy to go on automatic, especially when the body has been trained to automatically reach for the coffee, the cigarette, the alcohol. If we aren’t 100% conscious of our every thought and choices, we can be tricked into “falling off the wagon”. And that applies to habits or addictions in our thoughts as well. and yes, physical addictions are a tough one... but being present is still a key factor in surpassing the craving.
Some "mental" addictions that we may have are: being negative, or always assuming the worst. Or always needing to be right. Or maybe just fading into the background so no one notices us or “picks on us”. Or shopping. Or surfing the web, etc. Anything that we think we need to do or have in order to be happy, to be at peace, is an addiction. We are a slave to it if we think we need it.
The thing is… we don’t need anything (except air, water, and food). Anytime you find yourself getting upset because something you wanted or something you usually do isn’t taking place, stop and reframe the picture from a “if I don’t get this, I’ll be miserable” to “oh well, if this doesn’t work out, something else will”. This changes it to a preference, and also allows the Universe to supply you with what is in your Highest Good.
A lot of times, the things we think we need are not good for us: cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, salt, just to name a few items. It can also apply to people, jobs, hobbies, past-times, etc. When we change our behavior from automatic to conscious choices, we can then evaluate each and every choice in each moment to see if it is for our Highest Good. Just because you always do a particular thing at a particular time or on a particular day, doesn’t mean that it should always be that way.
When we learn to be more flexible with our life and let the events and our internal guidance show us alternatives, then we may discover that the way we “always did” something is not the way that is best for us now. We can then reverse our direction and go from addiction or habit to preference. And we may also find that it is no longer even a preference as we’ve grown out of it.
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About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com
Article Recap:
This article examines the distinctions between likes, preferences, habits, and addictions. It explores how behaviors like coffee drinking or meditation can evolve into addictions when they become something we feel we can’t live without. The piece emphasizes awareness and flexibility as key tools for evaluating these patterns and breaking free from dependencies, ultimately promoting conscious choices and personal well-being.
