Image by Barrie Taylor 

Many of us have grown up with the concept of the 3 R's. We have been told that the 3R's were the basis or the most important part of education. And we were always told that the three R's were Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic. Now, wait a minute! Only one of those starts with an R… which got me thinking that maybe the 3 R's were something completely different.

Now in the environmental movement, there is a different set of 3 R's being touted: Reduce (or Refuse), Reuse, Recycle. So, I decided to take a look and see if perhaps these "new" 3 R's might be the ones that should be the basis of our education and if they applied to other things than "recycling garbage".

OK, so now, how can that concept apply to our lives in general? We are told that everything starts with a thought, so let's see if we can apply the 3 Rs to the thinking process, and maybe that's another area that we can recycle garbage, mental garbage that is..

Reduce or Refuse Negative Thoughts

Reduce (or refuse) could definitely be applied to "negative" thoughts or thoughts that are not leading to the reality we'd like to experience. For example, maybe you feel you're overweight, and would like to be slimmer and healthier. So, what's the usual thought process? "I look like a slob. Nobody will love me anymore. I'm ugly."

Unfortunately, hat thought process applies to a lot of other things than being overweight… A teenager with pimples will have the same thought, or someone who thinks their clothes aren't up to par, or someone who's having chemotherapy and losing their hair, or maybe you've just worked out and you're sweaty and feel ragged, or maybe you just don't love yourself… I'm sure if you reflect on it, you can come up with situations where your thought process is: "I look like a slob. Nobody will love me anymore. I'm ugly." -- or something similar.

OK, so the first R is reduce (or refuse) -- reduce the amount of times we have that thought. One way to do that is to find things to do that will focus our attention elsewhere… In other words, get busy. There's a saying about an idle mind is the devil's playground… well this is true in the sense that if you busy your mind with more fruitful or positive thoughts or actions, then you've reduced or refused the negative thought.

We can only think one thought at a time, so, we can reduce or refuse the thought that is unsupportive of our well-being by "changing our mind" and thinking about something else. It helps to stop focusing on our own "little" self and start focusing on "doing good". Do some volunteer work, or help a friend or co-worker in need, or help yourself by doing things you've been putting off (cleaning out your fridge, cleaning out that storage area, raking the leaves, etc.). While you are focusing on helping someone (whether it's you or someone else), your mind will be busy and won't be able to think of two things at once.

Reuse: Make Your Thoughts A Stepping Stone

Now, how can the 2nd R, reuse, apply to our thoughts? When we reuse, we take something and put it to another purpose. So if our thought is the one mentioned above (or something similar), we use it for another purpose. We can use that thought as a starting point or as motivation to different behavior.

If my thought is that "no one will love me anymore", than I can use that thought to spur me to action. If we remove the negative part of that statement, we are left with "one will love me more"…OK, so then we change our actions towards ones that support love… for ourselves and for others.

If our thought is I'm ugly, then we take action so that we will start feeling beautiful. Thus we use those negative thoughts as the impetus to make change in our lives… rather than just end the thought process with that particular thought, we reuse that thought as a starting point for change in our thoughts and in our behavior.

We use that thought as the thought that broke the camel's back -- the camel of resistance to change, of being stuck in a rut. We use that thought as the one that propels us "to the other side" -- the side of looking for solutions and creating change, rather than staying in the "poor me" syndrome.

Recycling Our Thoughts

The last R has to do with recycling. When a product is recycled, it is broken down or destroyed and something new is made from that raw material -- something completely different that has a use and purpose in our lives. For example, out of plastic bottles they make park benches, or other useful things. So, what can we create out of our broken down thoughts and beliefs? And how do we break down our thoughts?

A process that most of us are familiar with, in one way or another, is affirmations. An affirmation is simply taking a negative thought and using it to create something new.

So if your thought is "nobody will love me", we take that and create a new thought: "Each day, I am loved more and more." Notice that the thought only contains a positive thought, it is in the present, and that it doesn't implicate anyone else in the process. It just says I am loved, more and more, each day. So the first place that thought will take effect, while we repeat it in our mind, is with ourselves.

It doesn't imply or necessitate that "John Doe" love me more… only that I will be loved, more and more, each day. That leaves an open door -- the love can come from yourself, from your cat, from a stray dog, from a co-worker, from someone in line at the store, from your mate, from your boss, from your child, from someone you've never met, from a guardian angel, from the Creator… So many places for the solution to come from when we don't restrict it…

Another thought mentioned above, "I'm a slob, I'm ugly". Now some people would opt to take that thought and replace it with I'm beautiful, except that the thought may not even be workable or believable for them. The idea with recycling is to create something that works or is useful. So, perhaps the thought to create out of that one is "Everyday I am more and more pleased with myself." That thought is workable, and gives room for growth. It doesn't necessitate an instant transformation -- it allows for changes to take place, both in our appearance, in our behavior, and in our expectations.

Creating Something Different and Useful

If the thought you have is that you will never be a success (whether it be in your career, relationship, fitness level, personal growth, etc.) then you take that thought and break it down. If you remove the negative "never" you end up with "I will be a success". Now while that is a fine thought, it is not usable in the sense that it deals with the future, not the present. "I will be a success" implies "tomorrow", later, some other time -- tomorrow, which never comes. So again we need to recycle that thought and create out of it something different and useful.

"Each day brings success in things big and small." This thought also helps reframe our vision of success -- we often think of success only at the finish line… the 50 lbs. of weight loss, the promotion, the wedding bells, the million dollars, etc. But success is in the minutiae… in the little things.

What Is Success For You?

Success is not having that second portion of food (if you're trying to lose weight), success is doing today's task to the best of your ability, success is being loving and kind to the person who is "taxing your patience", success is doing five minutes of exercise rather than none at all… Success is in seeing the small blessings that are part of each day of our lives -- the sun shining, the rainbow after the storm, the love and support after a catastrophe (whether personal or global), the birds singing, the child smiling at you, you catching the bus "just in time", you coasting up to the gas station just a few seconds short of running out of gas, etc. etc.

"Each day brings success in things big and small" opens the door for us to see the success that is already in our lives, be grateful for it, and thus attract more of the same. Since we attract what we focus on, then applying the 3 Rs (refuse/reduce, reuse, recycle) to our thought processes will create a whole new reality for us.

Making Compost Out Of Mistakes

We can refuse or reduce the amount of negative, demeaning, critical, angry words that come out of our mouth; we can also refuse or reduce the amount of negative, demeaning, critical, and angry actions we take. If we don't do the first step (reduce or refuse) then we can reuse those words and actions by making the "error" be the impetus for change. Or we can recycle that action by taking that action and turning it into a positive constructive one. Sometimes, out of our "mistakes" come our greatest successes.

In the case of a traumatic event, we can refuse to go into fear and panic, or we can reuse the fear energy and channel it into doing something constructive, helping others, exercising, starting a new project, etc., or we can recycle the whole event by making something new out of it... Out of hatred create love, out of fear create trust, out of discord create harmony...

Rising From the Flames of our Discontent

We can change our lives and the world around us… Let's start applying the three Rs -- refuse, reuse, recycle -- to everything in our life (thoughts, words, and actions) and see where it leads us…We can be like the phoenix rising out of the flames -- out of the flames of our discontent with ourselves and with our world -- we can rise, renewed with a way to manifest our vision in our day to day lives… And affirm: Each and everyday, it is easier and easier to be happy, healthy, and wise.

Related Book:

Raindrops of Love for A Thirsty World
by Eileen Workman

A timely spiritual guide to surviving and thriving in today’s pervasive, gloomy atmosphere of alienation and fear, Raindrops of Love For a Thirsty World, lays out a path to life long self-actualization, and reconnection through a shared consciousness. These communications come at an opportune time, as we drift in a sea of anxiety and worry, deeply shaken by recent political, economic and social crises, and starved for connection due to divisiveness.

In four parts, Raindrops of Love For a Thirsty World encourages readers to undertake self-examination in a way that encourages them to fall back in love with themselves and learn to practice healthy self-discipline, self-awareness and self-love.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.  Also available as a Kindle edition.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com