How To Let Go of Guilt, Shame and Failure

How To Let Go of Guilt, Shame and Failure
Photo credits: David Goehring, Guilty As Charged. (CC 2.0)

Q: In step seven of your book and tape series Infinite Self: 33 Steps to Reclaiming Your Inner Power, you talk about guilt as a great human weakness. I was brought up in a family where I was made to feel guilty for everything, and find it difficult to transcend this deep-seated emotion. How would you suggest I banish guilt from my life -- not just on an intellectual level, but on a deep emotional level?

A: I think guilt and shame are two of the hardest emotions to go beyond because they usually come from the family of origin, and therefore from one's upbringing. Even though they are emotions that come from an opinion, the opinions are entrenched very deeply. 

If someone was shamed as a child, you can't just say to the person, "Let go of the shame", because the shame is a profound part of who they are. So with shame and guilt, I think you need the assistance of a qualified counselor who can talk you through your inner-child experience. You can then begin to see how you took on those experiences in childhood, and that it was part of your evolution and how you dealt with growing up.

I believe the higher self has a vision of what it's going to be up to each lifetime. You accepted your family and their weaknesses. When they put guilt and shame upon you, they were usually expressing their own insecurity. Even though they may have been bastards, they were bastards because they were taught weakness by somebody else. It's quite a heroic thing for you to break the chain so that this isn't handed down to your children.


Q: I try so hard to be a success in life, but I seem to attract more failure than success. When I am successful, I can't accept it; and when I fail, I beat myself up about it.

A: 0ne of my favorite quotes was written by me: "Life: never take it personally." If you can get to a point where you don't take it personally, you are recognizing that you are a spirit, a golden light inside a funny little physical body. And inside the physical body is a funny little personality that really hasn't got a clue, and a funny little ego that needs nurturing. 

That's what we are, just funny little people playing a game inside this thing called life. So, when you look at the contrast of the ego and the spirit, you can see that it is only a matter of controlling your personality, and the first point of your control is deciding that you are not going to be the personality. 

In other words, are you that person? Are you your emotions? Are you your anguish? Are you your pain? Are you your success, your failure? 

You're not. And if you think you are, I feel sorry for you. 

You have a long, hard, painful journey ahead. You are a divine spirit, don't forget that.

 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Hay House Inc.
© by Stuart Wilde. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source

Simply Wilde by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.Simply Wilde: Discover the Wisdom That Is Stuart Wilde
by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.

For More Info or to Order This book.

About the Author

Stuart Wilde Author and lecturer Stuart Wilde was one of the real characters of the self-help, human potential movement. His style was humorous, controversial, poignant, and transformational. He has more than a dozen books, including those that make up the very successful Taos Quintet, which are considered classics in their genre. They are: Affirmations, The Force, Miracles, The Quickening, and The Trick to Money Is Having Some. Stuart's books have been translated more than 10 languages. Learn more at

More books by Stuart Wilde

More Articles By This Author

You May Also Like

follow InnerSelf on

facebook icontwitter iconyoutube iconinstagram iconpintrest iconrss icon

 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration




eating yourself to death 5 21
So You Insist on Eating Yourself Sick and to Early Death?
by Robert Jennings,
Explore Chris van Tulleken's journey into the world of ultra-processed foods & their impacts on…
trump rally 5 17
Is There a Tipping Point for Trump Supporters to Stop Backing Him? Here’s What the Science Says
by Geoff Beattie
Explore the psychology behind the unwavering loyalty of Trump supporters, examining the power of…
protestors holding up a big globe of Planet Earth
Breaking the Chains: A Radical Vision for a Sustainable and Just Society
by Mark Diesendorf
Explore a radical approach to building a sustainable and just society by challenging state capture…
A Guide to Transforming Our Mindset for Ecological Solutions
by Jane Goodall, Western Sydney University
“We have a sense that we are about to face immense upheavals,” Maja Göpel writes, and we need to…
a group of gen-Z and their fashion choices
The Rise of Gen Z Fashion: Embracing Y2K Trends and Defying Fashion Norms
by Steven Wright and Gwyneth Moore
Have you seen that cargo pants are back? Young people are once again swishing down hallways and…
el nino la nina 5 18
Solving the Climate Change Puzzle: Impact on El Niño and La Niña Revealed
by Wenju Cai and Agus Santoso
New research uncovers the connection between human-caused climate change and the intensification of…
a young girl studying and eating an apple
Mastering Study Habits: The Essential Guide to Daily Learning
by Deborah Reed
Unlock the secrets to making studying a daily habit for enhanced learning and academic success.…
hands pointing to the words "The Others"
4 Ways To Know You’re in Victim Mode
by Friedemann Schaub, M.D., Ph.D.
The inner victim is not only a fundamental aspect of our psyche but also one of the most powerful.

New Attitudes - New Possibilities | | | InnerSelf Market
Copyright ©1985 - 2021 InnerSelf Publications. All Rights Reserved.