Are You Addicted to Your Problems?

Are you addicted to your problems? That's a strange question I admit. Addicted to problems? How can you be addicted to something you don't like? Aren't people addicted to things they enjoy? Exactly! We do enjoy our problems, in a perverse kind of way.

What we enjoy is the tension of the problem, the attention we gain from others, the adrenaline rush of trying to beat it or fix it, and of course the satisfaction of resolving it (if and when we do). Come on, admit it! There is an adrenaline rush to problems… at least at the beginning and at the end. The middle may get tedious and you might feel like saying “enough already”, but then, there is the thrill of the hunt, hunting for the resolution to the dilemma.

A Deadline? Stress, Stress, and More Stress

I remember years ago when InnerSelf was a print magazine with a monthly printer's “deadline”. The last few days before going to press were stressful, full of tension, and prone to crisis. It seemed that every month a new crisis (or sometimes the same one) would manifest. Then I (and my staff) would kick into high gear dealing with the problem… whatever it was. The situation was tense, it was high energy, and sometimes outright frantic and frenetic.

At one point, I realized that not only did I actually get a rush out of the crisis, I enjoyed it! There's nothing like feeling adrenaline rush through your system to feel vibrantly alive. However, it's not the only way, and surely not the best way, to get to that feeling of aliveness. Just ask people who do bungee jumping, or sky-diving, or other adrenaline-producing recreational activities.

Realizing that I enjoyed the crisis mode, I wondered if I didn't also create it. And of course I did, if only by my reactions to whatever was going on. Computer breaking down, printer not working, staff member out sick, articles not arriving on time, etc. etc. Whatever the reason (or excuse) given for the crisis, the actual cause was my reaction to it. I stressed out, I freaked out, I felt overwhelmed, pressured, afraid of not meeting the deadline. I put pressure on my staff, I got impatient, tense… Whew! Not a happy camper at all.


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It's All In Our Head!

Mostly, the stress was in my head and in my attitude. What was going on was still taking place whether I freaked out or not. I could address the situation calmly or I could freak out! My choice!

Once I realized that I had a choice, that I could change my reaction, and mostly that I wanted to experience things differently, everything evolved. OK, I didn't become Miss Perfect and never ever again experience stressful reactions to events… No, not quite. But the instances of crises diminished in length as well as in number.

Stressful events were no longer all crisis material. I was aware that I could be “in charge” of myself and choose how I responded. I then made a commitment to myself that inner peace was the most important thing for me. When confronted with a situation, I wanted to choose peace instead of stress, anger, frustration, impatience, temper-tantrum (oh yeah, even adults throw some of those), fear, judgment, yada, yada, yada.

When you choose peace over those other emotions, the situation may not change, but you change, and you experience things differently. You don't freak out, you don't make a scene, you don't inwardly fume… You're at peace inside of your own being! Things may not be peaceful and calm around you, but you can be your own oasis in the storm.

It doesn't mean you don't want to change the situation, or that you can't change the situation, or even that you can't choose to walk away or decide to confront the problem. It doesn't mean anything except that you do whatever you choose to do (fight or flight) with an inner feeling of peace and sometimes even humor. Try it! It really feels so good!

Recommended Book

Inhabiting Heaven NOW: The Answer to Every Moral Dilemma Ever Posed by Andrea Mathews.Inhabiting Heaven NOW: The Answer to Every Moral Dilemma Ever Posed
by Andrea Mathews.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

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