We Teach Best What We Need to Learn

: By Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com

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We Teach Best What We Need to Learn

by Marie T. Russell.

You may be familiar with the expression: “We teach best what we need to learn.” Those of us in the personal empowerment movement who have been teachers, healers, motivators, or even "just" students, have often heard this expression and even experienced it.

You may also have seen the reverse, in that you see a teacher or preacher talking about something and you sense, or even actually know, that they are not practicing what they preach. What they are teaching others is exactly what they need to learn for their own self.

Everyone Is Our Mirror

Yet, we all experience this in our own lives. Many times, the thing we criticize in others is something that is present in our own self, whether we are aware of it or not. We may criticize someone for being talkative to later “hear ourselves” go on-and-on about one of our favorite topics, which is often our own self. We may get impatient because someone is repeatedly going over the same story from their life, which you’ve heard a gazillion times, to later find that we have the tendency to do the same thing.

So as the saying goes: We teach best what we have to learn. Or to rephrase that: we can often see the error in someone else’s words and actions and be oblivious to ours. As it says in the Bible: “First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” -- Matthew

But why does it seem easier to see the error or failing in someone else? Well, that’s simple enough: Because we’re looking at them and not looking at ourselves. Which is where the concept that everyone is our mirror comes in.

When you start seeing others as your mirror, you start looking not so much at their failings, but you look within yourself to see how you exhibit or harbor those same tendencies.

Oops... What Just Happened?

Last week, I wrote an article on habits and addictions. I didn’t really feel it applied to me at this current time in my life… after all I’m not addicted to anything, right? Well… I found myself realizing, as I picked up my phone and loaded the Kindle app to continue reading a book I’ve been reading, that, for me, this is an addiction. Because I’m living by myself currently, when I sit down to eat, I open my phone and start reading. And then I also ead before going to bed, and then I read when I take a break and want to relax.

This may not be a problem in itself, except that I spend a lot of daytime hours on the computer writing and editing etc. for InnerSelf. So I really need to take my off-computer time to rest my eyes, but I’m addicted to reading while I’m eating or relaxing. Even though I know it’s not good for me, I’ve been doing it anyway.

So… last night, the internal voice whispered to me as I picked up my phone and clicked on the Kindle app… you’re addicted to this. You do it all the time even if you know it’s not good for you! Yikes! I had never seen it that way before. I knew it wasn’t good for me to keep reading on the phone as it just tires my eyes even more. I knew that staring at a screen is not healthy, yet I was doing it anyway, everyday, and every meal. Seems like I couldn’t help myself… Uh... sounds like an addiction to me.

So, I took the Kindle app off the home screen so I wouldn’t be tempted to open it. I could have deleted it, but I didn’t think of that at the time, and even now, I’m not ready to do that. But instead I replaced the home page Kindle app with the Audible app so I could listen to books instead of reading them by staring at the screen. Better for my eyes. OK, that’s a good step! One step at a time.

And some of you may be saying (and you’d be right) that I shouldn’t read or watch TV or even listen to an audio book while I’m eating. And, yes I know this. All the mindfulness teachings share that insight. But, one of the recommendations when you’re working to get rid of an addiction or trying to change old habits, is to only take on one challenge at a time. So for now, simply not reading on my phone or Kindle is step one. Then once that has become a habit that is no longer of any appeal, I’ll tackle the other.

So in this case, the “teacher” was me in the form of my writing the article on habits and addictions last week, but I was also the student. And again, this is something we all do.

What’s That You’re Saying?

I’ve seen that if I take the time to listen to the advice I give others, whether through an article or one-on-one with a friend, the advice can usually be applied to me. A friend is stressed out so I suggest she take time for herself and relax… Yes, this is advice that I’m learning to apply in my life. Or she (or he) is trying to do too many things at once... uh, mirror anyone?

The mirror principle also applies to books you read, movies you see, or people you meet or hear about. We are truly all one in the Universe. We are all connected, and if someone is in our life, they are there for a purpose… to help us learn, grow, heal, and learn to love and accept ourselves. And even the books or movies we are drawn to will have something for us to learn, and be reflecting something to us that we need to learn.

I See You! I See Me!

Yesterday I had a booth at a local craft fair selling some things for a friend (The I Stand for Love calendars by Sarah Love) and also selling books that were left over from when we had a business selling books and CDs online. And I got to see and talk to a lot of people. And as I reflect on all my encounters, I can see how each person showed me a facet of myself… From the disgruntled customer, to the customers who couldn’t make up their mind, to the ones who maybe bought more than they could afford, to the ones who said they’d be back (but weren’t), etc. And also the friendly customers, the shy ones, the ones who just walked by not even looking, etc. etc.

So rather than judge them, I saw how they were showing me an aspect of myself and helping me clarify if that was something I was still doing. I could see, in them, behavior that I had exhibited at some point in my life, either past or present.

It’s a wonderful experience to start to see life and the people you encounter that way. They are there to help you learn about yourself, and they do so by reflecting traits that are in you, or maybe traits that you don’t think you have and would like to have.

Another common saying is “When you are ready, the teacher will appear.” So in that way, everyone that “appears” in your life is your teacher, ready to reflect to you or share with you something that you are now ready to see and to learn.

Life is truly a magical experience. We simply have to open our eyes to perceive the many levels to each experience.

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About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com

Article Recap:

This article highlights how we often teach best what we most need to learn. It delves into the principle of life as a mirror, where others reflect our strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for growth. By embracing self-awareness and mindfulness, we can transform our behaviors and understand the lessons embedded in everyday encounters, turning life into a continuous journey of learning and personal empowerment.

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Thanks for visiting InnerSelf.com, where there are 20,000+ life-altering articles promoting "New Attitudes and New Possibilities." All articles are translated into 30+ languages. Subscribe to InnerSelf Magazine, published weekly, and Marie T Russell's Daily Inspiration. InnerSelf Magazine has been published since 1985.