Life Changes

The 3 Things You Can Control in Life and How To Use Them

volorful silhouettes of 5 people with skyscrapers in the backgrounds
Image by Gerd Altmann 


Narrated by Marie T. Russell.

Watch the video version here.

You might be familiar with this situation: On a regular workday, you wake up, and before you even get out of bed, you reach to grab your smartphone from the bedside table. A subtle feeling of discomfort crosses your mind as you think, “I should wait until after breakfast to check my emails.” But then you take a quick look at your notifications and see something interesting. Twenty minutes later, you’re still in bed scrolling through new Facebook pictures from your friends, replying to likes and comments, and getting the latest news and videos from TikTok.

When the awareness of time comes back to you, you realize you’re feeling anxious, and countless to-do lists pile up in your head. What happened to the good old morning routine of waking up and giving yourself “me time” so you’re refreshed and ready for the day ahead? In modern days, it feels like those times belonged to the Stone Age.

The perception of having such a busy life makes us believe that we have endless lists of things to do but no time to do them all. Are you one of those people constantly fighting your own schedule? Are you struggling to make priorities? Do you have a hard time focusing on what really matters to you?

I have good news: There’s a way to recalibrate your focus and take control of your busy life. It all comes down to paying attention to the three things you do have control over.

1. Your Thoughts 

Buddha understood this truth thousands of years ago when he said,

“If you can control your mind, you can control your life.”

We all have the capability to control our thoughts, but not everyone understands they have the choice to do so. Many people believe their thoughts come from within, but it can well be said that those thoughts are external, collective ideas implanted in their minds, which deeply shape how they perceive the circumstances of their lives.

To differentiate which thoughts are coming from your heart and which aren’t, you need to practice a good amount of self-examination. You need to wrestle with all the thoughts that fill your mind and identify which ones resonate with you.

Create the habit of observing your thoughts. Meditation is one of the simplest and most powerful practices to monitor and assess your thoughts in silence. Once you’re able to observe your thoughts as a spectator, letting them play in the movie of your mind, it will become easier to detect which ones speak to your soul. You’ll feel a sensation of being at ease and peace with yourself when those thoughts come. They belong to you.


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2. Your Feelings

Prominent researchers, such as acclaimed neurobiologist Humberto Maturana, postulate that fundamentally, we’re emotional beings. As we developed language, we began to become rational, as language requires the ability to think in a cause-effect manner so that we can create conversations, stories, and events that shape and give meaning to our lives.

Having control of our feelings is deeply linked with our thought processes. Positive thoughts evoke positive and stable emotions; negative thoughts trigger negative emotions. Don’t believe it? Try it yourself: Think of a depressing situation, then try to smile sincerely. Can you manage to do it?

We believe that we’re complex human beings with an array of emotions that are difficult to control. But in reality, gaining control of our emotions becomes much simpler when we’re aware of the thoughts—positive or negative—that are driving them. 

Let’s say you’re fighting with your partner because he or she forgot to take out the trash. What exactly triggered this fight? Was it because of an unmet desire or expectation? Did your partner act in a way that was disappointing? What was the source of the disappointment? The deeper you dive into these questions, the more you’ll find that the activity itself was neutral—and what triggered the emotional response was the thought you associated with it.

So, remember, if you want to control your feelings, you need to become aware of which thoughts you’re bringing into your conscious attention. Aspire to maintain positive, peaceful, and harmonious thoughts, and observe how this shapes your emotional response and, in turn, your attitude and behavior.

3. Your Actions

If you manage to control your thoughts, you can control your emotions. And if you master both, you can master your actions.

Your actions aren’t merely activities without intention. They’re the crystallization of your deepest thoughts.

Why do some people claim they don’t have control over their actions? The answer is simple: because they don’t have control over their thoughts. They follow a script or a plan without consciously knowing where it’s taking them. Even though it seems, on the surface, that it’s an “uncontrollable action,” it was chosen, consciously or not.

The dominant principles of the universe are dominated by law, not by confusion. Therefore, there’s no such thing as erratic action. Pay attention to your thoughts and your emotions; that’s the only way you’ll be able to regain control of your actions and, ultimately, control of your life.

Copyright 2021. All Rights Reserved.
Printed with permission of the author.

Book by this Author:

The Success Mindset

The Success Mindset: Take back the leadership of your mind
by Paola Knecht

book cover: The Success Mindset: Take back the leadership of your mind by Paola KnechtSome call it the ‘mid-life crisis’; I prefer to call it the confrontation to reality crisis. It’s the moment you feel you wake from a dream, and half your life already passed by. And yet, you don´t know who you are yet. You feel your life is lacking passion and meaning. Does this sound like you?

With this book, I want to make you a proposition and set you a challenge for change: How about starting to look for success inwards? To be part of those who silently build human societies that are less focused on a targeted external success.Learn how to define success as coming back to the joy of being who you want to be, and doing what you want to do? In this book, I will share with you eleven pillars to untap the higher Self that habits within you, and which longs to have an extraordinary life, the life you were born to live.

For more info and/or to order this book, click here. Also available as a Kindle edition.

About the Author

author photo: Paola KnechtPaola Knecht is a leadership & transformational coach, and author. The founder of My Mindpower Coaching & Consulting, Paola is dedicated to helping people improve all areas of their lives.

After working more than fifteen years in global renowned companies, she decided to give a complete shift to her life and do what she really cares about: to become an author and help people all around the world to find their personal life’s meaning through coaching. 

Visit the author's website at www.my-mindpower.com 
    

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