Life Changes

Reducing the Influence of the Ego... For Our Highest Good

Reducing the Influence of the Ego... For Our Highest Good
Image by Josch13 

Narrated by Lawrence Doochin.

Video version

For what shall it profit a man,
if he 
shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul?"

We each have a choice, and let's be clear what that choice is. Will we set our intention and our personal will to promote unity, healing, and a collective greater good? Or will we set it to benefit ourselves and certain individuals or special interest groups we belong to?

Martin Luther King Jr. told us that:

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

If we choose the ego and self-interest, we are operating from a very limited perspective. It may temporarily appear that we have won and that we have accumulated all of this wealth or power and control, but we have really lost. We have lost the opportunity to fulfill the purpose of what our higher self came here to do, because it didn't come here to make a lot of money or to have people put us on a pedestal. These things may be the vehicles through which we learn and remember, but they are only a means to an end.

We have also lost an opportunity to be a light for and in service to others, which is the most powerful and joyous thing we can do. To be a light takes us out of fear. This is one of the main purposes of our experience on Earth, and as we do this, we receive it back one hundred-fold for we are one. We must stand in the power, and especially the responsibility, of who we truly are as part of one whole.

The Ego = Judgment and Comparison

The ego operates through judgment and comparison. For instance, witness our initial thoughts when we meet or see someone for the first time. We usually label them in many ways, making judgments about how they look, how they speak, how they are driving too fast or too slow (we all look over to see who is driving the car).

The ego needs to label or categorize everything to feel safe. It compares, and the result is we feel better than the other person or group — we have more money, are better looking, or are smarter than this person. Or we feel worse, telling ourselves, “My body is fat compared to her body.” In unity, everything is equal. We appreciate differences while knowing they are only an appearance.

If we compare to others, we will be in fear because we can never be satisfied with who we are. One of the most detrimental ways we compare is to our younger selves, especially how our bodies used to be or how our brains functioned better. As we age, this type of comparison plays into several fears, including our fear that we are not good enough as we are and our fear of death.

The ego is always in fear. It needs answers or it will be in a greater fear, so it pushes the mind to come up with a solution. This is one of the reasons we continually stay in our thoughts.

The Ego = Grievances and Guilt

The ego also feeds itself on grievances. It has righteous anger. It wants to stay in resentment, bitterness, anger, self-judgment, self-pity, and pride. Watch your thoughts, since the ego is always looking for something to judge or worry about.

The ego also loves guilt and fear, and these have become a tenet of Western religion, though they are not of God. The ego uses fear and guilt to try and control situations and achieve its agenda. The ego identifies with the body and sees others only as bodies, not as spirit, which creates the foundation for illusory belief in separation. This is why people want to keep their bodies looking young and we have a plethora of products, including plastic surgery for literally every body part, to fulfill this unhealthy need. Our task is to look past the body to see the higher self within, as this is what’s real.

Our spirit rests in perfect peace and certainty, needing nothing additional. The ego is always looking for the next thing to satisfy it. This is a fruitless search, for there is no goal that satisfies it and we will never find happiness in this way. Thus billionaires want to accumulate more wealth, pro athletes more awards, professionals more recognition, and addicts more drugs. This is one of the reasons few take time to become still and know themselves at a deeper level.

The Ego = A Quest for Happiness

I want to distinguish between the terms happiness and joy. This is an important distinction as happiness is related to ego desires, which is why it comes and goes. We are happy when the stock market goes up or our team wins, but we are depressed when the stock market goes down or our team loses. We need to get off this rollercoaster as it’s not how we are meant to live our lives.

Joy on the other hand is intrinsic. We can reach a place where we feel it all the time, even under difficult life circumstances.

Our egos do not control us, nor are they separate from us. They are a byproduct of what is needed to exist in this Earth reality, but they are created from and exist only in judgment. They exist on a foundation of quicksand, which is why they are unstable. Most of us let the ego drive our lives, instead of being guided by the diamond within.

For a long time I thought I had to overcome my ego to reach the spiritual ideals I wanted to operate within, and I judged myself when I didn’t feel I was meeting my standards. But it was my ego judging my ego, since our spirit does not judge.

The Ego = Separation

When we let go of the false, our spirit naturally comes to the forefront of our consciousness. Our spirit is eternal and its foundation is a rock. If we feel depressed, anxious, or fearful all the time, it’s because we see our identity solely as ego-based, which is a scary and unstable place to be. In that space, we believe everything is separate from us and we truly feel alone. The Dalai Lama elucidated this well:

“Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.”

When we believe something is separate from us, we fear it and try to control it so we can stay safe. This is collectively playing out in an extreme way in the appearance of the world, which has been descending into chaos and insanity as it comprises many people who are fearful, greedy, and abusive of power.

Business is just the aggregate of all of the individual egos of its employees. As the energetic head of the business, if the CEO is highly ego-centered, then the business will also reflect this as there will be a culture of fear and lack of integrity. It will gather and hoard as much resources as it can and treat employees and suppliers as chattel. If the CEO or owner comes from more of a unity perspective, then the business will reflect this.

Reducing the Influence of the Ego

Each of us is being asked to reduce the influence of the ego, to see in a one-hearted way. We are being asked to live from an open heart, raising our understanding so that we can fulfill the role we are meant to play in order to help the world. We do this with forgiveness, as we are presented opportunity after opportunity to practice this.

We have to want, and actively work to, reduce the ego’s influence by forgiving, apologizing, taking responsibility, admitting we are not right, wanting to be happy instead of right, releasing bitterness and resentment, not speaking when we are angry, and by not blaming and letting our emotions overcome us. This can be hard at times, but we have to summon our will and push through it.

A strong mind is highly praised in Western society and rightfully so, but it has to be balanced with the heart and inner guidance. This is rare. A vast majority of people are making decisions from an unconscious place, which means the decisions are often not aligned with their inner truth and thus are meaningless.

The greatest thing we can understand is that we don’t understand anything. This opens us up to receive higher guidance, as we are now operating from humility. Humility is the ego’s opposite.

Don’t be afraid of not knowing. We have to first be willing to not know before we can receive guidance. Then we will have all of the answers we need, and they will be for our highest good as well as the highest good of everyone that is affected by our decisions.

When we operate solely through the lens of the ego, we are self-centered, looking solely at what we can acquire. When we are centered in our higher selves, we are Self-centered, always looking at what we can give. Helen Keller instructed us: “No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.”

We are not trying to crush the ego. Like everything, it’s a part of the whole. Our goal is to reduce its influence and to hear its voice as just a small part of us instead of as the only voice.

When we are in a state of flow, the ego’s logical mind becomes like a hammer that is picked up when needed and then put down. Decisions are made from a higher place within us, and then we use the thinking mind to figure out the logistics which are needed to implement the decision.


The ego operates solely from fear and has its own agenda,
which is not one that serves our highest good.


In what ways can you better limit the influence of the ego
and allow your spirit to come to the forefront?

Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved.
Publisher : One-Hearted Publishing.

Article Source

A Book On Fear: Feeling Safe In A Challenging World
by Lawrence Doochin

A Book On Fear: Feeling Safe In A Challenging World by Lawrence DoochinEven if everyone around us is in fear, this doesn't have to be our personal experience. We are meant to live in joy, not in fear. By taking us on a treetop journey through quantum physics, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and more, A Book On Fear gives us tools and awareness to see where our fear comes from. When we see how our belief systems were created, how they limit us, and what we have become attached to that creates fear, we will come to know ourselves at a deeper level. Then we can make different choices to transform our fears. The end of each chapter includes a suggested simple exercise that can be done quickly but that will shift the reader into an immediate higher state of awareness about that chapter’s topic.

For more info and/or to order this book, click here.

About the Author

Lawrence DoochinLawrence Doochin is an author, entrepreneur, and devoted husband and father. A survivor of harrowing childhood sexual abuse, he traveled a long journey of emotional and spiritual healing and developed an in-depth understanding of how our beliefs create our reality. In the business world, he has worked for, or been associated with, enterprises from small startups to multinational corporations. He is the cofounder of HUSO sound therapy, which delivers powerful healing benefits to individual and professionals worldwide. In everything Lawrence does, he strives to serve a higher good. His new book is A Book on Fear: Feeling Safe in a Challenging World. Learn more at

More books by this Author.

More Articles By This Author

You May Also Like




man and dog in front of giant sequoia trees in California
The Art of Constant Wonder: Thank you, Life, for this day
by Pierre Pradervand
One of the greatest secrets of life is to know how to constantly marvel at existence and at the…
Photo: Total Solar Eclipse on August 21, 2017.
Horoscope: Week of November 29 - December 5, 2021
by Pam Younghans
This weekly astrological journal is based on planetary influences, and offers perspectives and…
young boy looking through binoculars
The Power of Five: Five Weeks, Five Months, Five Years
by Shelly Tygielski
At times, we have to let go of what is to make room for what will be. Of course, the very idea of…
man eating fast food
It's Not About the Food: Overeating, Addictions, and Emotions
by Jude Bijou
What if I told you a new diet called the "It's Not About the Food" is gaining popularity and…
woman dancing in the middle of an empty highway with a city skyline in the background
Having the Courage to Be True to Ourselves
by Marie T. Russell,
Each one of us is a unique individual, and thus it seems to follow that each one of us has a…
Lunar eclipse through colored clouds. Howard Cohen, November 18, 2021, Gainesville, FL
Horoscope: Week of November 22 - 28, 2021
by Pam Younghans
This weekly astrological journal is based on planetary influences, and offers perspectives and…
a young boy climbing to the top of a rock formation
A Positive Way Forward Is Possible Even in the Darkest Times
by Elliott Noble-Holt
Falling into a rut doesn’t mean we have to stay there. Even when it can seem like an insurmountable…
woman wearing a crown of flowers staring with an unwavering gaze
Hold That Unwavering Gaze! Lunar and Solar Eclipses November-December 2021
by Sarah Varcas
This second and final eclipse season of 2021 began on 5th November and features a lunar eclipse in…
Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes
Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes
by Joyce Vissell
No one can go through this life without making mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them…
The Joy of Service: A Fulfilled Life Is All About Service
The Joy of Service: A Fulfilled Life Is All About Service
by Joyce Vissell
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold,…
How To Create A World That Works: Do What “Wants To Happen” In The World Through You
How To Create A World That Works: Do What “Wants To Happen” In The World Through You
by Alan Seale
Chances are that you, like me, feel called to make a difference in this rapidly changing world.…

Selected for InnerSelf Magazine


How Living On The Coast Is Linked To Poor Health
How Living On The Coast Is Linked To Poor Health
by Jackie Cassell, Professor of Primary Care Epidemiology, Honorary Consultant in Public Health, Brighton and Sussex Medical School
The precarious economies of many traditional seaside towns have declined still further since the…
The Most Common Issues for Earth Angels: Love, Fear, and Trust
The Most Common Issues for Earth Angels: Love, Fear, and Trust
by Sonja Grace
As you experience being an earth angel, you will discover that the path of service is riddled with…
How Can I Know What's Best For Me?
How Can I Know What's Best For Me?
by Barbara Berger
One of the biggest things I've discovered working with clients everyday is how extremely difficult…
What Men’s Roles In 1970s Anti-sexism Campaigns Can Teach Us About Consent
What Men’s Roles In 1970s Anti-sexism Campaigns Can Teach Us About Consent
by Lucy Delap, University of Cambridge
The 1970s anti-sexist men’s movement had an infrastructure of magazines, conferences, men’s centres…
Honesty: The Only Hope for New Relationships
Honesty: The Only Hope for New Relationships
by Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
According to most of the singles I have met in my travels, the typical dating situation is fraught…
An Astrologer introduces the Nine Dangers of Astrology
An Astrologer introduces the Nine Dangers of Astrology
by Tracy Marks
Astrology is a powerful art, capable of enhancing our lives by enabling us to understand our own…
Giving Up All Hope Could Be Beneficial For You
Giving Up All Hope Could Be Beneficial For You
by Jude Bijou, M.A., M.F.T.
If you're waiting for a change and frustrated it's not happening, maybe it would be beneficial to…
Chakra Healing Therapy: Dancing toward the Inner Champion
Chakra Healing Therapy: Dancing toward the Inner Champion
by Glen Park
Flamenco dancing is a delight to watch. A good flamenco dancer exudes an exuberant self-confidence…

New Attitudes - New Possibilities | | | InnerSelf Market
Copyright ©1985 - 2021 InnerSelf Publications. All Rights Reserved.