Clearing the Residue of an Abusive, Unloving Parent
Image by Ulrike Mai 

Narrated by Marie T. Russell

Video version

You are about to learn a very specific technique for clearing your subconscious of all the old programming of anything less than unconditional love. This is a technique that will slip by your internal gatekeeper and allow the new statement to be seeded into your subconscious.

Begin with a typical but milder version of a hurtful or critical statement that was spoken to you. What did that person say to you? Then follow it with “but now” and write a new script for that same critical statement.

For example, if your mother always criticized the way you dressed you would write the following script:

“(Your name), I used to criticize the way you dressed and questioned your taste in clothes, but now I see you have beautiful taste and are always well put together, and I am so proud of you.”

innerself subscribe graphic

If you experienced a hypercritical parent who thought you could do nothing right you might write:

“(Your name), when you were younger I always said you could not do anything, but now I see clearly that you can do anything you put your mind to, and I am so proud of you!”

Each time you will rewrite the script in a very precise way. If you could put words in the critic’s mouth, what would you like to hear from that person? As you rewrite the script of the people you wished had loved you unconditionally, make sure you examine the statements so that they contain the following elements:

  • A clear reference to before (I used to think or say . . .)
  • Followed by the derogatory statement (may be a milder version)
  • Followed by “but now I can see . . . ”
  • Ending with a statement that is completely unconditional and supportive

This is to be scripted whether the person might say it or not, and whether or not the person is still living. You are the scriptwriter and have authority to put words in this person’s mouth. You are claiming your right to rewrite your past programming into a pattern that reflects who you really are.

Remember, before you begin writing this part you must understand and follow a specific method to ensure the clearing of the old criticisms. Start with the people you really care about who have not treated you the way you’d like, and go from there.

Make sure you write it in the following way,

“Michelle, when you were a child I was always critical and mean, but now I can see that as an adult you are super-talented, hard-working, and loving. I love you. I am so proud of the woman you are.”

Always write the first part of the statement in the past tense. Use phrases like, “When you were . . .” or “I used to think that . . .” followed by “but now” and then the reframe. This is a technique that will slip by your internal gatekeeper and allow the new statement to be seeded in your subconscious.

Ask A Trusted Friend for Help

If you are unsure of your statements, please ask a trusted friend to examine them. Some of you may have been so strongly programmed in early childhood that your reframes might be conditional. You do not want to accidentally replace those old statements with new ones that are still unloving and conditional.

The original statement is typical of the way that person spoke to you, which will enable your statement to navigate beyond your subconscious gatekeeper. The “but now” erases it from your subconscious, replacing it with a seed thought that creates unlimited possibilities and is free of all self-hatred. This works on your subconscious in a very subtle way that allows you to feel truly loved and loveable.

You do not need to write why the person said those painful words. In fact, it is counterproductive to write the why because it takes you back into a place of judgment and rationalization. None of that matters. When you are completing a fifth-dimensional “reframe” like this, polarity doesn’t matter. You do not care why the person did it. Knowing the real reason will not make any sense to you anyway. At some point you might even be in a place where you will no longer need to forgive anyone for anything.

Finding This Difficult?

If you find this exercise difficult, it means you need it. Ask for help from a trusted friend who can help you see how special you are and how much you are appreciated, and can help you rewrite statements from your childhood that were hurtful.

Sometimes it takes an objective loving friend to see your statements in a light that will expose the misuse of the spoken word, help you reframe the statements, and catch something you are blind to due to your experience with a less-than-loving parent. Review your statements and make sure that after each “but now,” everything that follows is loving and positive.

©2009, 2021 by Maureen J. St. Germain. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Bear & Co.
an imprint of Inner Traditions Intl.

Article Source

Beyond the Flower of Life: Advanced MerKaBa Teachings, Sacred Geometry, and the Opening of the Heart
by Maureen J. St. Germain

book cover: Beyond the Flower of Life: Advanced MerKaBa Teachings, Sacred Geometry, and the Opening of the Heart by Maureen J. St. GermainThrough teaching MerKaBa and Advanced Flower of Life workshops to thousands of students around the world since 1995, Maureen J. St. Germain has developed and channeled specific methods to enhance your meditation practice. In this step-by-step guide, she shares tools, techniques, and knowledge to strengthen your heart connection, develop a relationship with your Higher Self, and elevate and program your MerKaBa field to manifest success, health, happiness, and higher consciousness.

An updated resource for meditation practitioners and anyone who wishes to improve their connection with their divinity, this new edition of Beyond the Flower of Life provides a path to open your heart, fearlessly embrace unconditional love, access the Higher Self, and activate a multi­dimensional understanding of reality.

For more info and/or to order this book, click here. (2nd edition, revised and expanded)

About the Author

photo of Maureen J. St. GermainMaureen J. St. Germain is the founder of Transformational Enterprises and Akashic Records Guides International. An internationally recognized teacher and intuitive, she is also the author, musician, and producer of more than 15 guided-meditation CDs. She is the author of 6 books, including Waking Up in 5D.

Visit her website at

More books by this Author.