AFFIRMATION: I will create my life with the focus of creating simplicity in all that I do. I desire to live a simple and uncluttered life.
How many of us feel burdened with too many responsibilities and don’t slow down long enough to think even one clear thought? Far too often, we are overwhelmed by all we have to do and don’t really know what we might enjoy, because our lives are so filled with clutter.
We have clutter in our homes, clutter in our relationships, and most importantly, our minds are cluttered with endless have-tos and to-dos that keep us running at breakneck speed. We are continually multi-tasking and bombarded by a devastating amount of information that doesn’t need to be there.
To make matters worse, we are forgetful and oft times overwhelmed, and we have a tedious habit of not saying “No.” We are overcommitted, overextended, and overtired, leaving us little time to relax and enjoy the feel of being alone.
Not only are our lives overly cluttered with too much to do, but our homes are filled to the brim with closets that are too full of clothes we likely haven’t worn in years. We pack our garages full of boxes and unused furniture, along with everything else we want to hide from our sight. Do we think about giving away those things we no longer use, or perhaps recycling them or tossing them out? No, we just continue to add to the clutter, as if it had no negative impact on us whatsoever.
Cluttered Minds Leads to Confusion
The person who lives with a cluttered mind, body, and spirit is a person who eventually will become muddled and confused, without the ability to design and organize their own daily routines. They are frantically running as they wade through their jumble and can’t get clear enough within their own thoughts to remember what it is what they leaped in here to do.
Has something like this ever happened to you? Have you picked up a basket of unwashed clothes and headed to put in a load of laundry, only to remember that your detergent is not in the laundry room, but instead in the kitchen where you had used it last? So you put down the basket and walk toward the door, but become distracted by the mail you had left on the table the day before. You pick up the mail and go put it into the basket to sort through later, but see a bill that you know is about to be late. You take the bill over to your computer and log in to your credit card site and pay the bill.
Your incoming emails begin to pop up in the lower corner of your laptop screen and you see a note from your best friend and have to write a quick response in return. Then you log in to your Facebook account, just for a minute, which turns into half an hour. Then the phone rings and when you answer, you become engrossed in a fifteen-minute conversation and suddenly remember that you have to get off because you have a meeting in an hour that you have to get ready for. You jump into the shower and when you get out, you realize that you don’t have any towels in the bathroom to dry off with. They are in the laundry basket that is still sitting in front of the washing machine because you had gone to the kitchen to retrieve the detergent to wash the load of towels. And so it goes . . .
On the Road to Burn Out?
We are a society who doesn’t know how to slow down and take time to reflect. We are sadly deficient in the personal skills we need to help ourselves learn to calm down long enough to even consider what kind of life we would like to live.
We all have experienced stretches of time when we were perpetually challenged and consumed, day after day. Whether it was a project at work whose deadline loomed, or it was studying for final exams under heavy pressure, we became sleep-deprived and had no time to do anything but our work.
On occasion, these things happen in life, but if we spend every single day running flat out without reprieve, we are creating a very unhealthy situation for ourselves. By combining the demands of business, family, finances, and friends, without the hope of having some degree of pleasure and ease within our days, we will, quite simply, burn out.
Taking Charge and Making Yourself Happy
It is up to us to take charge and figure out a way to welcome in and discover the happiness, joy, and peace that are part of our human birthright, rather than to dwell in our unhappiness and live a life of mediocrity. Our birthright, you say? Yes, absolutely.
Life is meant to be loved, and what we do and how we spend our time is truly our choice. Perhaps you think that you don’t have the time or the ability to do what makes you happy, but this quite simply is not true. Do you think that if you are not a painter, a writer, or a musician that you are not a creative person?
Everything we do is a creative act. It is from within our daily living that we have the ability to consciously choose what we want to do. But if we don’t, life keeps rolling along all the same, whether we like the outcome or not.
From Instant Gratification to Consistent Transformation
If it is a compellingly interesting life that we desire, we need to be open to the possibility that we actually can do this. We must be willing to put out the effort to become consistent in our practices, accepting that this process of transformation will take a bit of time.
Our social enculturation dictates that we need to be instantly gratified or we give up on our desired focus and yield to the familiar patterns already firmly lodged in place within us. The problem with this, though, is that if the old ways are not a good fit, we will remain tethered to thoughts and behaviors that have not encouraged our independence to express ourselves in our own desired ways.
So where do we begin? How do we create the simplicity that we deeply desire? How do we get rid of the clutter?
Clearing Out the Clutter in Your Life Activities
How many hours do we have in a day? The answer is obvious, but how many of us schedule in so many things that it feels as though we barely have time to sleep? It is a common occurrence in our contemporary society to frenetically run from point A to point B, with barely a moment to take a breath or stop for a proper lunch. So, what can we do to clear out the clutter of having too many activities to tend to?
LEARNING TO SAY NO — Think back to a time when someone called you up and asked you to help out with a committee or chair an event that you really didn’t have time for. How did you respond? If your answer was yes, it is important to understand why you agreed to be involved. Was it something you really wanted to do, or did you agree for some other reason that really wouldn’t serve you very well?
Four Reasons for Saying YES When We Should Say NO
- We are fearful of disapproval, of not being liked.
- We feel the need to take care of others, putting them ahead of ourselves.
- We want to feel capable.
- We want to be in control.
Again, it is important to listen carefully to the messages that we impart to ourselves. Are we being supportive and encouraging, affirming that we need to take care of how we conduct our lives and how we think about ourselves?
Go ahead and ask yourself these simple questions, when considering how you would like to respond to a request for you to help:
- Do I really desire to do this?
- Do I have the time to do this?
- Will this contribute to my overall well-being?
- What are my reasons for wanting to say “yes”?
How you answer these questions is of great importance. You have to be honest and not fall into old patterns of thinking. Instead, you need to be clearing out the clutter of an overly busy life, and this is one way to begin.
It is essential to establish clear boundaries. We can achieve this by making certain we give very clear responses. When we say “maybe,” we are opening ourselves up to complexity and stress of having to still deal with the situation sometime in the future.
When we say “no” and mean it, we are taking good care of ourselves and are being respectful within the relationship with the person making the request. They will come to respect that we are direct and not interested in muddied communications and ambiguous intentions.
How Can You Say No and Feel More Comfortable?
- Be clear on your values and know what is important to you.
- Write down your personal desires and goals and prepare time to accomplish them. When you visibly see your plans in writing, this will assist you in saying “no.”
- If you prefer to communicate in difficult situations by email or phone, feel free to do so. It will help you to accomplish your goal of saying “no” more easily.
- Be firm in your communication of “no.” You do not need to justify or explain your reasons for declining. Be polite, clear, and concise.
Learning to say “no” will offer you a great satisfaction in the planning of your life. Your time will become your own and you will feel liberated from feeling beholden to do something you really do not want to do.
It is very empowering to say this very small and simple word. When you practice doing this on a regular basis and become comfortable with the process, you will feel a sense of confidence and autonomy that you are in charge of the choices you make.
©2013 by Heather McCloskey Beck. All rights reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Conari Press,
an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. www.redwheelweiser.com.
Article Source:
Take the Leap: Do What You Love 15 Minutes a Day and Create the Life of Your Dreams
by Heather McCloskey Beck.
Click here for more info or to order this book on Amazon
About the Author
Heather McCloskey Beck is an inspirational author and speaker, musician and founder of the global peace movement, Peace Flash. Dedicated to creating Dynamic Peace within our world, Heather is a columnist for The Huffington Post and frequently speaks to audiences across the United States, and is now expanding her reach internationally. With a growing following on her Facebook pages that has surpassed One Million fans, Heather offers both virtual and on-site workshops and events to inspire people to create lives they truly love. Here are a few of her Facebook pages: www.facebook.com/HeatherMcCloskeyBeckAuthor, www.facebook.com/PeaceFlash, www.facebook.com/TaketheLeapBook
