Creating Changes That Last! Can It Be Done?

Creating Changes That Last! Can It Be Done?

How do we change...really change?

When we feel stuck or want to change something, it usually comes from the desire to improve or rid ourselves of something we don’t like, or that’s painful. When something feels out of sorts, not quite right, or you have a negative feeling or judgment about something, it’s an opportunity to investigate and learn from it.

Perhaps you’re inspired to change because you see others having or doing some­thing, or being a particular way that sparks yearning in you. The world around us can motivate us to question ourselves and connect with our dissatisfaction.

You might be motivated by an inner stirring or unfulfilled longing. Actualizing a deep longing gives a sense of achievement and fulfillment. It’s important to feel what you do in life is meaningful, of use in the world. We might say that finding what we’re meant to do is part of incarnation, being here in the body.

You might be looking for a result, or something to be fundamentally differ­ent, requiring change to alter or transform it. Sometimes changing, or creating what we want, is more difficult than we expect. Change happens bit by bit. Personal development is measured in de­grees; you become freer, have more happiness, and embody more of your essence. Unfortunately, many people rarely get the full picture of what’s needed to heal and grow, and then wonder why they don’t change. You’ve probably heard yourself or someone say, “I want to move forward,” or, “I’ve tried to change but couldn’t.”

Make Lasting Change Come Faster by Slowing Down

Paradoxically, lasting change comes faster when we embrace slowing down, going deeper, and being mindful. It is possible to move beyond “Been there, done that,” and change. We know from working with our wounded egos and personal programming that when we do the same old thing, the same old way, we get the same old results.

When you’re aware, you feel the subtle, inner stirrings that either inspire or direct you to change aspects of your life, guiding you to the True Self. You cou­rageously engage in self-inquiry and start to recognize you do affect the course of your life. You grow more willing to take risks, empowering yourself toward creating desired changes.

Why Do We Resist Change?

Oddly enough, even though we wish a number of things were different, we often resist change. For most of us, fear prevents us from being fully ourselves and in the constant flow of movement. There are many known and unknown fears, as well as shame, grief, or sadness impeding the current of the Universe from flowing in our lives. We might fear what change will bring, or mean. Maybe you won’t like it, or you’ll need to leave someone, or physically move somewhere.


 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

Because we live in bodies and the physical dimension, we tend to see and experience everything as solid, and therefore unchangeable. Your per­sonality equates the solidness with safety, believing if you can predict life, then you won’t have to face your fear of the unknown. But predictability is an illusion, based upon unconsciously expecting or repeating past responses in the present moment. This narrow understanding of life often leaves you feeling powerless, with a false sense of ego strength that will surely be challenged at some point in your lifetime.

Trying to Control Everything

Creating Changes that LastOut of our misconceptions about consciousness and God, we try to create a solid, seemingly secure and stable life. We resist the underlying and constant process of change. We think, “If I can keep things the way they are, even though I hate it, I’ll be safe.” Living in the ever-changing flow is embracing what Alan Watts called “the wisdom of insecurity.”

Our unhealed egos have trouble letting go of the illusion that we can control everything. We remain lost in our stories, and think change, and ultimately hap­piness, is beyond us. We keep chasing our tails, jumping from shiny object to shiny object, seeking fulfillment outside ourselves — rooted in misunderstanding, unprocessed emotions, and old programming.

Lasting change occurs when we integrate these distorted ideas and historical knots, loosening our tight feelings and views. With courage, tenacity, commit­ment, and skillful means, the disentangled Strands of Consciousness shift, return­ing our soul and psyche to wholeness, and fulfilling the change we desire.

Change Happens with Persistence & Surrender

As you deepen through this work and your desired changes unfold, you move past the “ah ha” moments, into an inner knowing. You travel inward to the hid­den crevices that help make you strong. You name and understand your feelings, deconstruct your stories, and embrace your imperfections. Inner softening and compassion grow into self-acceptance, encouraging change.

You may see change as it happens or notice it later, realizing you no longer do “that thing” you wanted to stop doing, or you are doing what you’ve been wanting to do. Change happens with persistence. How long depends upon the depth of the issue and the time you’ve spent working on it. Or you might be ripe and ready, and things will change quickly.

It takes a certain amount of psychological and spiritual work to get beyond thinking our ego structures can run the entire show. At this turning point of growth and maturity, we surrender, which is essential in creating what we came here to be.

© 2013. Dr. Jennifer Howard. All rights reserved.
Published by New Page Books a division of
Career Press, Pompton Plains, NJ.  800-227-3371. 

Article Source

Your Ultimate Life Plan: How To Deeply Transform Your Everyday Experience And Create Changes That Last
by Dr. Jennifer Howard.

Your Ultimate Life Plan: How To Deeply Transform Your Everyday Experience And Create Changes That Last -- by Dr. Jennifer Howard.Your Ultimate Life Plan is the missing "how to" for getting unstuck and moving past your problems into a richer and more meaningful life. The distillation of Dr. Howard's 20-plus years of experience as a licensed psychotherapist and spiritual teacher, this "workshop in a book" is a roadmap to living your most happy, most authentic, most amazing life.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book on Amazon.

About the Author

Dr. Jennifer Howard, author of: Your Ultimate Life PlanJennifer Howard, Ph.D., is the author of Your Ultimate Life Plan. A recognized thought leader on psychology and spirituality, Dr. Howard is a Huffington Post blogger, one of the featured experts in the national wellness campaign, Walk with Walgreens, and has appeared as an expert on numerous national network television shows. A life and business coach, professional speaker, and co-founder of the Healing Path Center, Dr. Howard maintains a private practice with offices in New York City and Long Island, and has an extensive phone practice.
 

More Articles By This Author

You May Also Like

Marie T. Russell's Daily Inspiration

PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT

Honesty: The Only Hope for New Relationships
Honesty: The Only Hope for New Relationships
by Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
According to most of the singles I have met in my travels, the typical dating situation is fraught…
Why It's Good For Kids To Have Friends from Different Socioeconomic Backgrounds
Why It's Good For Kids To Have Friends from Different Socioeconomic…
by Leah M. Lessard, University of Connecticut and Jaana Juvonen, University of California, Los Angeles
Friendships that bridge across social class – “cross-class friendships” – can minimize middle…
Is Your Bedroom Sacred?
Is Your Bedroom Sacred? Honoring Your Personal Sanctuary
by Jon Robertson
The bedroom is home to our prayers and dreams, our solitude and sexuality. In this inner sanctum,…
Zoom Fatigue and Distracted Driving Share A Common Problem: Multitasking
Zoom Fatigue and Distracted Driving Share A Common Problem: Multitasking
by Francesco Biondi, University of Windsor
Feeling exhausted at the end of a long day of video-conferencing? Do your back, shoulders and mind…

SOCIAL & POLITICAL

The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
by Ervin Laszlo
Talk of fundamental change in the world around us is often met with skepticism. Change in society,…
No Visits and Barely Any Calls: The Pandemic and People with a Family Member In Prison
No Visits and Barely Any Calls: The Pandemic and People with a Family…
by Alexander Testa and Chantal Fahmy, The University of Texas at San Antonio
For many people who are incarcerated, either awaiting trial in jail or imprisoned after conviction,…
Defund The Police? Instead, End Toxic Masculinity and ‘Warrior Cops’
Defund The Police? Instead, End Toxic Masculinity and ‘Warrior Cops’
by Angela Workman-Stark, Athabasca University
The police officer charged with murder in the death of George Floyd is currently on trial in…
04 15 compassionate courage moves beyond cancel culture
Compassionate Courage Moves Beyond 'Cancel Culture' To Challenge Systemic…
by Pushpa Iyer, Middlebury Institute of International Studies
Our current call-out culture often advocates publicly shaming and humiliating wrongdoers,…

INNERSELF VOICES

The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
by Ervin Laszlo
Talk of fundamental change in the world around us is often met with skepticism. Change in society,…
Win the Battle In Your Head: Perspective Matters
Win the Battle In Your Head: Perspective Matters
by Peter Ruppert
We all experience positive and negative self-talk on a regular basis. Whether you realize it or…
Horoscope Current Week: April 19 - 25, 2021
Horoscope Current Week: April 19 - 25, 2021
by Pam Younghans
This weekly astrological journal is based on planetary influences, and offers perspectives and…
If You’ve Contracted COVID: Healing and Moving Forward
If You’ve Contracted COVID: Healing and Moving Forward
by Stacee L. Reicherzer PhD
If you’ve contracted COVID, you not only had health problems that may have been life-threatening,…
Awakening to the Dream of the Earth and Loving the World
Awakening to the Dream of the Earth and Loving the World
by Bill Plotkin, Ph.D.
The most important question is not how to survive biodiversity loss, climate disruption, ecological…
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career 
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career
by Paula Caligiuri, Ph.D.
Even if your tolerance of ambiguity is lower, there are proven ways to build this important…

LIVING IN HARMONY

Can Bad Weather Really Cause Headaches?

Can Bad Weather Really Cause Headaches?

Amanda Ellison, Durham University
Baby Bees Love Carbs – Here's Why That Matters
Baby Bees Love Carbs – Here's Why That Matters
by James Gilbert, University of Hull and Elizabeth Duncan, University of Leeds
Wild bees are essential for sustaining the landscapes we love. A healthy community of wild…
What Makes A Job Meaningful and Why That Matters
What Makes A Job Meaningful and Why That Matters
by Andrew Bryce, University of Sheffield
Work provides many things over and above the monthly pay cheque: status and identity, community and…
Prosperity and Being of Service to Others vs. Vanity and Pride
Prosperity and Being of Service to Others vs. Vanity and Pride
by James Dillehay
Vanity means pride or self-worship, which is different from self-love. In the effervescence of…
COVID-19: Does Exercising Really Reduce The Risk?
COVID-19: Does Exercising Really Reduce The Risk?
by Jamie Hartmann-Boyce, University of Oxford
A new US study shows that people who are less physically active are more likely to be hospitalised…

MOST READ

3 Ways Music Educators Can Help Students With Autism Develop Their Emotions
3 Ways Music Educators Can Help Students With Autism…
by Dawn R. Mitchell White, University of South Florida
Domestic Violence: Calls For Help Have Increased – But The Answers Haven't Gotten Any Easier
Domestic Violence: Calls For Help Have Increased – But The…
by Tara N. Richards and Justin Nix, University of Nebraska Omaha
Viking DNA And The Pitfalls Of Genetic Ancestry Tests
Viking DNA and The Pitfalls of Genetic Ancestry Tests
by Anna Källén, Stockholm University and Daniel Strand, Uppsala University

New Attitudes - New Possibilities

InnerSelf.comClimateImpactNews.com | InnerPower.net
MightyNatural.com | WholisticPolitics.com
Copyright ©1985 - 2021 InnerSelf Publications. All Rights Reserved.