How to Change with Joy and with Ease

How to Change with Joy and with Ease

“I cross bridges with joy and with ease.”

I love “how to’s.” All the theory in the world is useless unless we know how to apply it and make a change. I have always been a very pragmatic, practical person with a great need to know how to do things.

The principles we will be working with at this time are:

  • Nurturing the willingness to let go

  • Controlling the mind, and

  • Learning how forgiveness of self and others releases us.

Releasing the Need

Sometimes when we try to release a pattern, the whole situation seems to get worse for a while. This is not a bad thing. It is a sign that the situation is beginning to move. Our affirmations are working, and we need to keep going.


* We are working on increasing prosperity, and we lose our wallet.

* We are working on improving our relationships, and we have a fight.

* We are working on becoming healthy, and we catch a cold.

* We are working on expressing our creative talents and abilities, and we get fired.

Sometimes the problem moves in a different direction, and we begin to see and understand more. For example, let’s assume you are trying to give up smoking and you are saying, "I am willing to release the need for cigarettes."

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As you continue to do this, you notice your relationships becoming more uncomfortable. Don't despair, this is a sign of the process working.

You might ask yourself a series of questions like: Am I willing to give up uncomfortable relationships? Were my cigarettes creating a smoke screen so I wouldn't see how uncomfortable these relationships are? Why am I creating these relationships?

You notice the cigarettes are only a symptom and not a cause. Now you are developing insight and understanding that will set you free.

You begin to say, "I am willing to release the need for uncomfortable relationships."

Then you notice the reason you’re so uncomfortable is that other people always seem to be criticizing you.

Being aware that we always create all of our experiences, you now begin to say, "I am willing to release the need to be criticized."

You then think about criticism, and you realize that as a child you received a lot of criticism. That little kid inside of you only feels at home when it is being criticized. Your way of hiding from this had been to create a "smoke screen".

Perhaps you see the next step as affirming, "I am willing to forgive..."

As you continue to do your affirmations, you may find that cigarettes no longer attract you, and the people in your life no longer criticize you. Then you know you have released your need.

This usually takes a little while to work out. If you are gently persistent and are willing to give yourself a few quiet moments each day to reflect on your process of change, you will get the answers. The Intelligence within you is the same Intelligence that created this entire planet. Trust your Inner Guidance to reveal to you whatever it is you need to know.

Exercise: Releasing the Need

In a workshop situation, I would have you do this exercise with a partner. However, you can do it equally as well using a mirror, a big one, if possible.

Think for a moment about something in your life you want to change. Go to the mirror and look into your eyes and say out loud, “I now realize that I have created this condition, and I am now willing to release the pattern in my consciousness that is responsible for this condition.” Say it several times, with feeling.

If you were with a partner, I would have your partner tell you if he really thought you meant it. I would want you to convince your partner. Ask yourself if you really mean it. Convince yourself in the mirror that this time you are ready to step out of the bondage of the past.

At this point many people get scared because they don't know HOW to do this releasing. They are afraid to commit themselves until they know all the answers. It's only more resistance. Just pass through it. One of the great things is that we do not have to know how. All we need is to be willing. The Universal Intelligence or your subconscious mind will figure out the hows.

Every thought you think and every word you speak is being responded to, and the point of power is in this moment. The thoughts you are thinking and the words you are declaring at this moment are creating your future.

Your Mind Is a Tool

You are much more than your mind. You may think that your mind is running the show, but that is only because you have trained your mind to think in this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of yours.

Your mind is a tool for you to use in any way you wish. The way you now use your mind is only a habit, and habits, any habits, can be changed if we want to do so, or even if we only know it is possible to do so.

Quiet the chatter of your mind for a moment, and really think about this concept: YOUR MIND IS A TOOL YOU CAN CHOOSE TO USE ANY WAY YOU WISH.

The thoughts you "choose" to think create the experiences you have. If you believe that it is hard or difficult to change a habit or a thought, then your choice of this thought will make it true for you. If you would choose to think, "It is becoming easier for me to make changes", then your choice of this thought will make that true for you.

Controlling the Mind

There is an incredible power and intelligence within you that is constantly responding to your thoughts and words. As you learn to control your mind by the conscious choice of thoughts, you align yourself with this power.

Do not think that your mind is in control. You are in control of your mind. You use your mind. You can stop thinking those old thoughts.

When your old thinking tries to come back and say, “It’s so hard to change,” take mental control. Say to your mind, “I now choose to believe it is becoming easier for me to make changes.” You may have to have this conversation with your mind several times for it to acknowledge that you are in control and that what you say goes.

The Only Thing You Ever Have Any Control of Is Your Current Thought

Your old thoughts are gone; there is nothing you can do about them except live out the experiences they caused. Your current thought, the one you are thinking right now, is totally under your control.


If you have a little child who has been allowed to stay up as late as she wishes for a long time, and then you make a decision that you now want this child to go to bed at 8:00 every night, what do you think the first night will be like?

The child will rebel against this new rule and may kick and scream and do her best to stay out of bed. If you relent at this time, the child wins and will try to control you forever.

However, if you calmly stick to your decision and firmly insist that this is the new bedtime, the rebellion will lessen. In two or three nights, the new routine will be established.

It is the same thing with your mind. Of course it will rebel at first. It does not want to be retrained. But you are in control, and if you stay focused and firm, in a very short time the new way of thinking will be established. And you will feel so good to realize that you are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your own mind.

Exercise: Letting Go

As you read this, take a deep breath, and as you exhale, allow all the tension to leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and your face relax. Your head does not need to be tense in order for you to read. Let your tongue and your throat and your shoulders relax. You can hold a book with relaxed arms and hands. Do that now. Let your back and your abdomen and your pelvis relax. Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and feet.

Is there a big change in your body since you began the previous paragraph? Notice how much you hold on. If you are doing it with your body, then you are doing it with your mind.

In this relaxed, comfortable position, say to yourself, “I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of all old limitations. I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe.”

Go over this exercise two or three times. Feel the ease of letting go. Repeat it whenever you feel thoughts of difficulty coming up. It takes a little practice for the routine to become a part of you.

When you put yourself into this peaceful state first, it becomes easy for your affirmations to take hold. You become open and receptive to them. There is no need to struggle or stress or strain. Just relax and think the appropriate thoughts. Yes, it is this easy.

Physical Releasing

Sometimes we need to experience a physical letting go. Experiences and emotions can get locked in the body. Screaming in the car with all the windows rolled up can be very releasing if we have been stifling our verbal expression. Beating the bed or kicking pillows is a harmless way to release pent-up anger, as is playing tennis or running.

Awhile ago, I had a pain in my shoulder for a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t go away. Finally, I sat down and asked myself, “What is happening here? What am I feeling?”

I realized, “It feels like burning. Burning... burning... that means anger. What are you angry about?”

I couldn’t think of what I was angry about, so I said, “Well, let’s see if we can find out.” I put two large pillows on the bed and began to hit them with a lot of energy.

After about twelve hits, I realized exactly what I was angry about. It was so clear. So I beat the pillows even harder and made some noise and released the emotions from my body. When I got through, I felt much better, and the next day my shoulder was fine.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hay House.
©1999. Visit their website at

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You Can Heal Your Life (illustrated gift edition)
by Louise L. Hay.

You Can Heal Your LifeLouise L. Hay (1926-2017), internationally renowned author and lecturer, brings you the beautiful gift edition of her landmark bestseller. Louise's key message is: "If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed." In this book, Louise explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and shows how you can change your thinking - and improve the quality of your life!

Info/Order this book. Also available as a Kindle edition, and Audiobook, and an Audio CD

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About the Author

LOUISE L. HAY (October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017) was a metaphysical lecturer and teacher and the best selling author of numerous books, including You Can Heal Your Life and Empowering Women. Her works have been translated into 26 different languages in 35 countries throughout the world. Louise was the founder and chairman of Hay House, Inc., a publishing company that disseminates books, audios, and videos that contribute to the healing of the planet.

Video/Presentation with Louise Hay: 40 mins everyday to CHANGE your life FOREVER (guided meditation)


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