How To Short-Circuit Judgment and See Only Love

How To Short-Circuit Judgment and See Only Love

Once you decide to see only love, you can relinquish judgment and see people for what they are. In the end, everyone benefits, including you.

As it says in A Course in Miracles, “You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace that comes from meeting yourself and your brothers totally without judgment.”

Ahhh . . . do you feel the peace in that?

The belief in separation is the root of all fear:

If we believe in divine love, we’re called to live without judging ourselves or others and know that we are one.

We know we “shouldn’t” judge, yet we do it without thinking, as automatically and unconsciously as breathing. We see a photo of someone and immediately make judgments based on the color of his hair. We see the condition of someone’s car and make judgments about her character. We look at a tattoo or a burka or the book someone’s reading and make assumptions based on our own past experience, not on the light of the person standing right in front of us.

In fact, if we’re looking through the eyes of judgment, we don’t really see that person at all. We simply see our own fears, insecurities, and expectations projected onto them and the world around us.

That’s why, if we want to grow as spiritual beings but we’re still judging ourselves and others, then we’re negating the very nature of divine love itself. You can’t have it both ways.

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The world would change in an instant if we really got this. And your whole world can change in an instant when you start practicing this day by day.

Do you want to know one of the fastest ways to remember what you are? Send a little love to your “enemies.” When you do that, you know the love is not coming from outside yourself, so it must be coming from you and Source energy. That means you are light. You are love.

The ego’s version of “love your enemies” is: Do it even though they may trample you and take advantage of you. Take the higher road and love them anyway. But that’s not it. Love your enemies so you will remember the love that you are.

We can’t judge because we don’t have all the facts:

Our ego minds judge others for their skin color, sexual orientation, what they wear, how they talk, and the choices they make. But we’re not qualified to judge anyone or anything for one simple reason: We can’t see the big picture.

A classic Zen story illustrates this point. Here’s an updated version:

You come down with the flu. Bad.

Because you’re sick, you don’t have to drive to work on icy roads. Good.

Because you’re not at work, you miss out on Employee Appreciation Day and a free lunch. Bad.

Since you’re not at the office, your coworkers make plans for your birthday celebration. Good.

You get the idea. Our ego mind is quick to pounce on anything it could label “bad,” but that experience may be just what we need to deliver us to our greatest joy.

As A Course in Miracles says, “Judgment is confused with wisdom and substitutes for truth.” Our judgment is based on inconsistent criteria because everything simply has the meaning we give it.

In order to judge anything, we’d have to be—well, God— because only Spirit has all the information. And besides, there’s nothing to judge anyway. How can you judge love and light?

When you relinquish judgment, you set aside all expectations:

You let things—and especially people—be as they are. You toss the old baggage in the dumpster, and you meet everyone as though you’re seeing them for the first time, even if you’ve known them your whole life. This allows you to stand in a neutral position—a position of light. You wipe the whole slate clean.

You read comments from a senator who condemns the NRA. No judgment.

You think through your own stand on the issue and feel confident about your choice. No judgment.

No cheering, no jeering, no heckling, no name-calling, no self-righteousness. Simply witnessing.

You apply the principle of oneness and remember we’re all connected.

Because of that, you know that you’re one with the senator on both sides of the aisle. Some of my A Course in Miracles students have great ways of reminding themselves of this daily. When they look at someone, they say, “You’re afraid to be seen, and so am I.” Or, “You attack others, and so do I.” Or, “You have a big heart, and so do I.” Or, “You are love and light, and so am I.”

Okay, now let’s take a leap and think of saying that about a school shooter.

I can hear the chorus of ego voices saying, “Are you crazy? I’m supposed to see light in someone who murdered children?”

Yes. Because the light is there. Granted, it’s covered up with so much muck and fear that you have to shift to your higher mind, your spiritual eyes, to see it, but it’s there.

It can’t not be there because that person is a child of divine love just like you. The difference is that when you forget what you are, you snap at your husband or eat a quart of ice cream. When the shooter forgot what he was, he loaded a gun.

That’s the hallmark of applying these principles. You understand that the two attacks, even though one seems much darker than the other, came from the same place of fear.

And both deserve compassion, forgiveness, and remembrance of the light.

What's Does A Non-Judging Life Look Like?

How does your life change when you give up judgment and operate from an understanding of oneness?

  • You become more honest because you were never capable of judging anyway. When you adopt a neutral position, you allow a higher knowing to flow through you.

  • You interrupt the knee-jerk reactions and prejudices you’ve picked up from the world, and you witness what’s right in front of you rather than what you’ve been taught to see.

  • You no longer feel the pain, struggle, and loneliness that come from judging yourself and others.

  • You become more aware of the thoughts you send into the world, and you work with Spirit more intentionally to send messages that support rather than diminish.

  • You stop wishing other people would change to make you happy.

  • You stop hating the people who look and live differently than you do.

  • You see social media as an external representation of our oneness, making you more likely to use it to build a better world rather than using it to judge or blame others and act from fear.

  • You realize that our thoughts are all connected. They carry just as much energetic power as the more visible and audible parts of who we are. Because of this, you can’t attack yourself and others in your mind, then go out and serve food at the homeless shelter and effectively spread peace. Do the inner work first, then carry it with you everywhere you go.

How To Relinquish Judgment

Here are a few steps to start the practice of relinquishing judgment: .

Focus on this quote from A Course in Miracles: “Peace to my brother, who is one with me. Let all the world be blessed with peace through us.” Take time to reflect on it, and say the words silently to everyone you meet throughout the day—especially to those who may pose some challenges in your life. This is an ideal way to shift to the truth about unity.

Sit in silence for ten minutes every day and focus on the thoughts, words, and actions of love going on around the world. Isn’t it odd that we’re perfectly ready to feel threatened by the ruler of North Korea, but we don’t stop to think about the people of North Korea who are contributing love to this planet?

I can let myself be diminished by angry words from a talk show host—even if I never listen to the show. But I don’t think about the millions of expressions of love going on around the world every single day.

We don’t have to be present to hear those words or see those smiles for them to impact us. Because we’re all one, we feel every angry word spoken by any ego anywhere. And we feel all the love.

Take in those expressions of love. Bring them into your heart. Receive their gifts. Feel how they remind you of the truth of who you are. Say thank you for them, expressing your gratitude to your brothers and sisters around the world.

As you sit, you might think about things like:

  • Mothers singing their babies a lullabye.
  • People saying, “I love you” before they hang up the phone.
  • Teachers patting their students on the backs and saying, “Good job.”
  • Shopkeepers putting out an “Open” sign for the day and looking forward to greeting their customers.
  • People helping someone across the street.
  • Health professionals saving a person’s life.
  • Friends lending comfort.
  • Laughter.
  • Pots of soup to feed the hungry.

The list is endless, but you get the idea. Let your high Self and your inner guidance tune into all the good happening around the world. And give thanks, knowing your gratitude will help others remember who they are as part of divine love.

Pay attention to your language. Our words can imply unity or separation, acceptance or judgment. It’s not hard to flip the switch from one to the other. We just need to be aware, find new words, and practice. Here are some examples:

“Why did you do that?” Flip the switch to these words: “Help me understand . . .”

“It’s your fault.” Flip the switch to these words: “How can I help?”

Now what are you going to do?” Flip the switch to these words: “What do you need in this moment?”

Recognize that you can set boundaries and say no to the unacceptable without judging. Go inside first, become clear about what is and isn’t right for you, and state your preferences and boundaries. You don’t have to judge the other person or make them wrong. You’re simply saying what you will and won’t allow in your world.

Build unity by sending grateful energy through the Internet. Let’s say you’re reading a product review online, and one review in particular is helpful to you. Take a few moments to look at the name of the person who wrote it and send them love, knowing that Spirit will deliver it for you. Send them gratitude and blessings. It will remind you of who you are and send some needed love through the ethers. Look for other ways to make the Internet a highway of kindness and appreciation.

Relinquishing Judgment In Everyday Life

Here are a few illustrations of relinquishing judgment in everyday life.

You’re in the middle of a crowded place, like a movie theater or subway. You look around at everyone and think to yourself, “I belong to everyone here, and they belong to me.”

When your ego tries to make exceptions and says, “Well, everyone except that man with the dirty jeans who hasn’t shaved in a couple of weeks,” see the light in him. Truly, look into the core of that person and see a light shining. You will feel better every time you do it.

You go to the same church as a member of the school board who holds views that are diametrically opposed to yours. Your ego mind judges her and feels indignant. Every time you see her, you end up complaining to your husband later and building a case for how much she’s hurting your community.

But when you tune into your higher mind and the light that you are, you relinquish judgment and adopt a neutral position about her, even though you still believe in your views. The next time you see her at church, you can say, “You know, we have some differences. But I respect you, and I’d like to understand your point of view better. Would you be willing to meet me for a cup of coffee?”

And maybe it’ll lead to changes, common ground, a review of policies. Maybe it won’t, but either way, you will expand the light in the world simply by listening.

The thing is, it’s easy to judge from a distance, but not so much when you’re face to face. So if you’re assuming that someone is your enemy, do one thing: talk to him or her. The fastest way to make change in your world is to have a conversation.

You sit in the airport and people watch. Most of your internal commentary is something like: “Flip-flops? Really? It’s winter. Didn’t her parents teach her how to dress? Why are those parents letting their brats run around? I’d never do that with my kids.”

When you do this, you judge yourself and heap that judgment onto others so your ego can make itself feel better. You’re simply talking to yourself.

What does the light do instead? Strike up a conversation with the person next to you and see how quickly you can find a connection. Read something that makes you laugh. Watch the news on the airport TV and send love to everyone involved.

In other words, make better use of your time. Remember that the ego employs judgment as the justification and catalyst for everything we want to change, including violence, attack, shame, prejudice, and poverty. So if you find yourself fretting over the state of the world, take action by becoming aware of your own judgments. Then short-circuit them by asking for your fear-based thoughts to be healed and choosing the light that you are.

©2019 by Debra Landwehr Engle. All Rights Reserved.
Excerpted with permission of the publisher,
Hampton Roads Publishing.

Article Source

Be the Light that You Are: Ten Simple Ways to Transform Your World With Love
by Debra Landwehr Engle

Be the Light that You Are: Ten Simple Ways to Transform Your World With Love by Debra Landwehr EngleBe the Light that You Are: Ten Simple Ways to Transform Your World with Love inspires readers to put their spiritual practice in action—and gives them concrete ways to do it. In a time of highly charged political and emotional issues, this simple guide helps readers move from bitterness and divisiveness to true peace. Inspired by A Course in Miracles and other spiritual teachings, Be the Light that You Are provides a simple path to help readers live with kindness, decency, and authenticity in troubled times. (Also available as an Audiobook and Audio CD.)
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About the Author

Debra Landwehr EngleDebra Landwehr Engle has been a freelance writer for many years and her initial publishing credits appeared in such magazines as "Country Home," "Country Gardens" and "Better Homes and Gardens." Her first book, "Grace from the Garden: Changing the World One Garden at a Time," was published in 2003. Since then, she has contributed to several international collections of essays. Deb teaches classes in "A Course in Miracles" and is co-founder of Tending Your Inner Garden®, an international program of creativity and personal growth for women. She also teaches workshops that use journaling and writing as tools for self-discovery, as well as one-on-one and small-group sessions on creativity, writing, manuscript development and life skills. Through her company, GoldenTree Communications, she provides mentoring and publishing services to fellow writers.

Videos with Debra:

* The Only Little Prayer You Need

* Introduction to The Only Little Prayer You Need

* Remembering the Light Within

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