Afraid of the past? Now that seems like a silly concept, doesn't it? How can one be afraid of the past when it has already happened?
Yet when one looks closely at the fears we have for the future, we see they are often repetitions of old fears, or of things that have happened to us or to others in the past.
What is it you fear? Do you fear losing the one you love? Do you fear losing your job, your security?
Look back at your past and see... did you not once 'lose' someone or something you loved? Did you not feel that your security was 'taken' from you? Consequently, the fears that you hold for the future are a deep rooted trauma that the past will repeat itself.
You may even be fearing something that happened to someone else. That also is in the past, even if it is not directly your own.
We have all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies. As a matter of fact we live them every day and every moment of our lives. We prophecize failure, then we manifest it in some form. Then the first words out of our mouth are 'I knew this would happen'.
We think we might get lost on the way to a place we have never been, so of course we do, and we comment 'I ALWAYS get lost when I go to new places'. We are creating repeat performances of our past and fulfilling our 'worst' expectations.
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Conversely, when we sincerely expect to succeed, we do. Some people say that we get what we ask for. I would say rather that we get what we expect, what we are willing to receive, and what we think we deserve.
Stop Expecting the Worst
We can stop expecting the worst. Our lives need not be a series of reruns. Each day can be a brand new show. You may have gone to bed feeling tired, but after a good night's sleep, you wake up feeling refreshed.
In the same way, even though your past may have had 'more than your share' of trials and tribulations, you can let that go! So what if you felt your mother didn't love you! So what if a previous lover left you! So what if you failed in the past! It is all in the past!
Today is a new day, and it can be a completely new start, if we treat it that way. Don't goad yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery.
Rewriting the Script for Your Life
Arise each day with the attitude that this is a brand new day, a brand new life. It is more than turning a new page -- it can be a complete new book.
Perhaps in an earlier novel of your life, you were always left with a broken heart. Write a new scenario for yourself. In this story, you are the self-confident, attractive, loving, and lovable heroine (or hero). You always get what you choose. You choose success, wonderful loving relationships, loving friends, a fulfilling job or career, etc.
You can change your script by changing your thoughts and becoming the person you want to be. Become the kind of person you would like around you. If you have been crying out for love, be more loving. Never mind the meticulous dissection of others' relationship with you to see if by any chance, they are acting out one of your fears (rejecting you, abandoning you, lying to you, etc.).
Change your expectations and your thoughts. Stop expecting disappointments and let-downs at every corner. Start living each day joyously, like a child that always expects wondrous surprises, and finds them in little things like anthills and blades of grass, or a smile and a kind word.
Focusing on Gratitude and Joy
Be thankful for the good in your life. What you focus on gains importance and expands. So focus on a joyful expression of life. Be thankful for things we sometimes take for granted, like flowers, butterflies, sunshine, rain, a smiling face on the street, a roof over your head, food to eat, etc.
Let the face that smiles be yours because the world is a mirror. When you smile and put love in your heart, you see and feel it reflected all around you.
Don't expect the world to change first. Start with yourself. Focus on the beauty in your life, however small you may feel it is.
Put a smile in your heart, however shaky that smile may be. Don't be afraid of the past or of the future. Become a child again expecting that everyone that comes to you is bringing a gift.
Look for the beauty that is to be found in everyone and everything. That is the gift waiting for you. 'Seek and ye shall find.'
Make sure you are seeking what you really desire. It is there waiting for you.
It's up to you -- the present is yours to discover.
Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life
by Jude Bijou, M.A., M.F.T.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com