I remember reading years ago about people who used to send their mother flowers on their birthday... What's so special about that you might say. You've also sent your mother flowers on her birthday... ah, but have you sent her flowers on your birthday... to thank her for giving you life? At some point in our life, we've perhaps come to the realization that our mother is someone that we had taken for granted as we were growing up...
Many of us no longer have their mother in the physical form. Others are caring for their mother in her old age, while some are sitting by their mother's deathbed. However, others are fortunate enough to still have the occasion to get to know their mother, not just as "mom", but as a unique human being and a friend...
Each "mother" is a human being in her own right... not just "our mom". She has a past, a childhood, had her own dreams, her own challenges... Have we taken the time to get to really know her and to find out what her dreams were when she was younger... what she would really have liked to do with her life?
Have we shared with her the truth of who we are, our dreams, our hopes, our fears? Or have we just kept the "traditional" roles, going home on holidays because, well, because you "have" to. Buying a gift at those times a year where you're "supposed to". Or have we developed our own unique, one-on-one relationship with our mother?
Is Motherhood just for Mothers?
Do we see the gift of "mothering" as something that goes both ways? Do we see motherhood as something that is the domain of just the mothers in the world? Do we think that if you haven't given birth (or adopted) a child, then you're not a mother? I disagree.
A mother resides in each and every one of us, whether or not we have children. While not every one has given birth to a child, we all, male and female, are in a sense mothering someone, or something... perhaps we have helped "mother" a talent in someone else, or perhaps we are learning to "mother" or nurture ourselves or the people we love.
Mothering is not a physical act. Giving birth is, but mothering is a whole other thing. It can be done by men, as well as by women. It can be done by people who are not physically related. Mothering is an art. It is the expression of unconditional love, or giving of self for the best of the other. It is putting the other one's needs before ours.
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In some cases, this can reek of martyrdom and co-dependency. Yet, when done in the spirit of Love (with a capital L) and in the spirit of Divine Guidance, then mothering is something that the whole world needs more of.
Think of it... If we considered the homeless, the deprived, the abandoned, and the unloved as part of our close family, and shared some mothering (not smothering) energy with them, our world would be a better place.
Being A Better Mother to Everyone
Perhaps this Mothers' Day, we might reflect on how we can be a better mother to the planet and to all its inhabitants, human or not. Whether that means the tough kids down the block, the loud neighbor next door, the husband or boyfriend you're angry with, the boss that's a pain, the co-worker who whines constantly, the abandoned pets...
Yes, let's look on how we can express loving and nurturing energy towards everyone, one person at a time, one moment at a time.
Loving No Matter What, a.k.a. Unconditional Love
Mothers' Day is simply a reminder... to share love with our mother every day and to share love with others on a daily basis as well... to practice unconditional love with those who test our patience the most... (isn't that what mothers do?)
I read once that mothers who had a child on death row still felt that their child was lovable even though they had committed an unlovable act. These mothers still found love in their heart for their child who had committed acts of murder, rape, etc.
Perhaps that's what we need to learn on Mothers' Day... That even if someone has committed an act which in our eyes is unforgivable, that this person still deserves support and assistance... that the person who commits this heinous crime or terrible deed (in our eyes) is still a child of God, is still a being going through life with their life lessons, with their challenges, with their dreams... That they still are, in their own way, a child on the path to learning to become a "better" person...
Just like the child who is learning to walk and stumbles and falls, these persons have stumbled and fallen... But just like the mother who loves the child anyway, even if he is clumsy, even if he does things that are maddening or illegal, we still need to look for the best in each person... to learn to love them even though we do not love their behavior... to learn to see past the behavior and see a being on their path, learning what they need to learn, experiencing what they need to experience, to take them to the next step...
After all, whether we are mothers, children, or adults, all of us are spiritual beings having a human experience... Let's help each other remember that... regardless of appearances.
The Yes Frequency: Master a Positive Belief System and Achieve Mindfulness
by Gary Quinn.
Filled with practical and deeply insightful strategies, this concise guide offers methods for breaking old habits, becoming more successful, and giving life a greater purpose. Focusing on recurring problems existent in today’s hectic world, readers will be encouraged step into a positive vibration frequency to access inner power, creativity, and intuition. New approaches are explored for healing limiting wounds — opening a path for an optimistic life approach geared towards discovering and manifesting one’s desires.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com