A common childhood fear is fear of the dark. Many children become terrified of the dark and can't go to sleep in a darkened room alone, convinced the "bogeyman" or some other night creature is waiting in the shadows to get them.
I had a client whose son was terrified of the dark. He was a perfectly adventurous child during the day, extremely outgoing and interested in discovering new things, but come nighttime he would fall apart, begging not to be left alone. His parents didn't understand these opposing tendencies. "What is he so afraid of at night, when he's so confident during the day?" they asked.
"It could be one of several things," I said. "He might be losing touch with your personal vibration in the night, which could cause him alarm. Or he could become ungrounded in the dark and feel too wide open and vulnerable. But probably the biggest reason he has fear of the dark is that he has learned, perhaps from you, that to be safe in life, he has to be in control, and in the dark, he doesn't know what is out there, so he can't control it. This would definitely make him very afraid."
It doesn't really matter why a child has a fear of the dark. The important point is to take his fear seriously and help him overcome it and feel more secure and grounded.
One solution is to let him sleep in your room. Some parents do this, believing in the "family bed". This sleeping arrangement is very common in Europe and Asia but is not too popular in the United States, where parents usually want their privacy.
Another solution is to allow him to keep the lights on and the door open when he goes to bed, in order to see what's "out there", perhaps offering a night-light that isn't too bright so it doesn't disturb his ability to unwind.
Another solution is to clear the energy in the room with essential oils. Chamomile is a wonderful essential oil for inducing calm and creating a relaxing atmosphere that is perfect for sleep.
Another solution is to "smudge" his room with a "smudge stick". This is a wand of dried sage and cedar, available in most metaphysical bookstores. Smudge sticks are Native American energy tools, designed to clear energy and create sacred space. Smudging expels all negative vibrations, leaving the atmosphere purified and blessed. Smudging is especially effective for fearful children if you explain to them what it is, what it is used for, and even let them be the one to wave it around the room.
But the best way to reassure a child who has a fear of the dark is to let him know that the loving Universe is aware of him, is protecting him, and will watch over him during the night, just as it does during the day. Therefore he can trust that all is well, and he doesn't have to try to control anything. You must teach him not to worry, that the Universe is on the job and will handle things for him. The only way for you to do this, however, is to believe it yourself!
©1999. Reprinted with permission of the author.
The Wise Child was published by Three Rivers Press,
a division of Crown Publishers, NYC, NY 10022.
The Wise Child: A Spiritual Guide to Nurturing Your Child's Intuition
by Sonia Choquette Ph.D.
How can I help my children to thrive and prosper? How can I ensure that they will not become unhappy and frustrated as I have been? These are the questions that inspired Sonia Choquette to write this profound and accessible book explaining--through spiritual principles, modern-day parables, and practical exercises--how even busy parents can help children connect to their own source of divine guidance.
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SONIA CHOQUETTE Ph.D. is the author of The Psychic Pathway and Your Heart's Desire, as well as other books. Sonia is a world-renowned revolutionary psychic, alchemist, healer, and spirited teacher. She specializes in instantly transforming people’s vibration from a five-sensory paradigm of limitation and fear to a six sensory paradigm of creative possibility and personal power, leading others out of the dark ages and into the 21st Century. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two children. She can be reached through her website: www.soniachoquette.com.