Sexual Energy in Seduction: Red Lights, Green Lights

Sexual Energy in Seduction: Red Lights, Green Lights

There is a reason why some people choose to dress or groom themselves in ways that are not provocative. Advertently or inadvertently, they are responding to an awareness — inner or explicit — that their energy field is closely connected to the self-representation that clothing and grooming express. And if this is true of appearance, how much more so of behavior.

Certain ways of dressing, as well as certain uses of things such as makeup, scents, and jewelry, often elicit exchanges of sexual energy, even if unintentionally. We have to ask ourselves what purposes such exchanges might be serving and if we really want to risk them. These types of exchanges, then, can be still other ways by which the body and sexual energy are misused. The word seduction, in this context, is not misplaced and extends far beyond mere appearance.

If we go through the day projecting our sexual energy onto others or letting others take our energy, we divert that vital force from the positive uses to which it should be directed. Likewise, if we go through the day attracting others' sexual energies or being carelessly open to receiving them, then we have to deal with the vibrations of those energies, which we end up carrying. It is a senseless, confused (and confusing) way of being in the world and can lead to further confusion about who we really are and about the place of love in our lives.

ENERGY VAMPIRISM

Seduction reflects such a senseless and confused way. The seducer extends his/her sexual energy out and into another person and, in a sense, "captures" that person (often referred to as a conquest). The seductive energies literally come out of the seducer's energy field and into the other person. They then draw, like a syringe, the energy of the other person, who has become a prey of the seducer. There is a literal withdrawal of energy from the field of the person who is the target of the seduction. This causes a loss of energy and pulls one out of one's own power. It also makes the seducer's work that much easier to consummate.

At the same time, the seducer's energy remains in the other person, who then may confuse it with, genuine feelings of love, or with attraction based on love. However, unlike the energy of love that two people feel between them when they are in love, the sexual energy used in seduction is intended to create feelings of physical attraction and sexual desire that are all too easily mistaken for love.

But exactly the contrary is the case: such experiences have nothing to do with love or a genuine attraction or desire based on love. They are about the manipulation and taking of energy. Quite rightly this can be called a form of energy vampirism

ENERGY VAMPIRISM ILLUSTRATED

A man walks into a store as a seductively dressed woman walks out. The man looks at her with desire and, without knowing it (consciously), opens himself energetically. The woman gives him a "friendly" smile and, at that moment, draws sexual energy from him (or out of his energy field). In this brief encounter between strangers, which took less than five seconds, he lost energy and she gained energy. Who won? Neither.

He was foolish to be lured into her trap and lose energy. She succeeded in taking his energy; and this will make her stronger in some ways. Yet she now has to deal with the vibration of his energy — whatever it may be in her energy field. And as she becomes dependent on taking and using others' energies in this way, she will increasingly lose her own sense of self.

Some people become accustomed to these types of energy exchanges and may even feel that they are normal. The exchanges do not necessarily lead to sexual relations, and in most instances they do not. For some, they are a kind of sexual game-playing ("Who's Seducing Whom?") that they become very adept at.

But these energy exchanges are not without their consequences. They introduce energies that can act as toxins coursing through one's energy field, with disturbing effects energetically, emotionally, psychologically and even physically. This is particularly true of people who take in this type of energy unsuspectingly -- all the while not wanting anything to do with it, or with the person from whom it comes.

SEDUCTION SCENARIO

Seductions of any type, with both males and females as the seducers and the seduced, are not about love. The seducer is motivated by the desire (more or less conscious) to pull another person into a relationship in which he or she can take energy and manipulate the other through sexual relations.

A second, somewhat different example: Two people meet socially. One seductively projects his/her sexual energy into the other. The recipient carries it and feels the vibration of the other person. After their encounter, the seducer's energy remains with the other person, who then finds him-/herself having thoughts or feelings about the seducer, or at the very least with the seducer on his/her mind. The seduced party may then mistake the experience as one of having been attracted to, or oven fallen, in love with, the other person. Persons who are very needy emotionally may be particularly susceptible to this type of experience.

The seduction also can be mutual, with both people perpetrating this misuse of sexual energy. Many seek out these types of encounters with like-minded people in order to satisfy a mutual desire for sex and the mutual taking of energy. It probably requires even less than mere intuition to bring such a couple together.

It might seem extraordinary that seduction could be mutual and at the same time devoid of the elements of genuine attraction or love -- or even of consciousness of the seduction being practiced. Yet such is the unwholesome nature of seduction per se that people can be imagining or fantasizing relationships on a conscious level that are at total variance with the inner, dark reality, ultimately revealed in what occurs between them energetically.

Much the same can be said of flirtation. Flirtation is not always as innocent as it sometimes appears and often has the same dark, seamy underside as seduction. The consequences for participants' sexual energies should not be underestimated. Innocent as flirtation may seem to "common sense," little in the realm of sexuality is the exclusive preserve of common sense. Rather, much potential harm lurks in the shadowland of love's absence.

DESPERATION'S RUDE AWAKENING

Sadly, it is not unusual for people to feel they have fallen in love, only to learn later that they have been seduced and fallen under the spell of something other than love. Our greatest longing is for love, and many of us are desperate for love and the freedom and bliss that love brings -- thus desperately searching for love, and easily deceived as to what love really is. But desperation breeds self-deception.

Instead of love, many people are lured -- often pulled -- into relationships and experiences that are dim, even dark. They are often confused, tricked, and seduced in the very depths of their mental-emotional being. They have been pulled into something that is a mere shadow of love. And their bodies are taken along for the ride.

The effects of this are frequently tragic and register vividly on the energy field of one who has been seduced and continually used sexually: the energy field is often filled with blockages, holes, and lusterless energies — as well as the energies of others. The person eventually becomes depleted and subject to frequent illness because of the low vitality and dimness of the energy carried.

ANTIDOTE TO SEDUCTION

The antidote to the poison of seduction? Greater sensitivity to energy and greater trust in our deepest intuitive feelings about ourselves and others. Much silliness and naivete have to be jettisoned. Both men and women need to be informed about the nature of these encounters. They also have to listen to what their hearts and bodies are telling them. It is important to know yourself well and not confuse others' thoughts and feelings with your own. Similarly, if you do not feel good about a sexual experience or partner, these feelings should not be ignored. You are experiencing them for a reason.

BUT WHAT ARE WE TAUGHT?

The behaviors we are describing are much the same for both men and women today. At a young age, boys and girls are being taught, through the media and the entertainment industry, the ways of seduction in the form of provocative dress and behavior -- and sexually explicit behavior as well.
More and more, popular culture is about seduction and the misuse of sexual energy. It has been taken to levels at which both men and women are equally adept.

Even young people's exposure to sex "education" in schools raises the question whether it bears any relation to love. Do the schools mention this crucial factor? Or are they simply imparting the "safe" mechanics of sexuality: how to "do it" -- and, in effect, get away with it. We must learn and keep in mind at all times: our energy is our life force. When others take our energy, or we share it with others in harmful ways, we become compromised at the very core of our being.

The exchange of energy that takes place in seductive behaviors and in seduction itself is therefore emphatically not about love. It is about sexual desire that is not connected to love. As such, it is to a great degree about control and manipulation through the misuse of life-force and sexual energies. It seeks to "conquer" — or, in some cases, to be conquered.

Where there is genuine love, there is no desire to control, manipulate, conquer: two people meet, and may have sexual feelings for each other, but these feelings are inextricably tied to the energy of love. Being in love is then enriched by sexual intimacy and by the power and creativity of sexual energies.

RED LIGHTS, GREEN LIGHTS

Prohibitions against sex outside of marriage and against casual sexual encounters, which were found in most societies throughout the world until relatively recent times -- and which are still to be found in many "traditional" cultures were intended, in part, to protect people against seduction and other misuses of sexual energy.

The sexual "freedom" found in many societies today has been accompanied, unfortunately, by little or no understanding of sexual energies and the harm inherent in their misuse. Self-restraint need not be a blocking of sexual energy, but a way of redirecting this precious gift and celebrating it in other areas of our lives. As discussed below, sexual relations are not the only way for sexual energy to be alive and creative within us.

POSITIVE SHIELDING

Sexual feelings not anchored in love begin to diminish in direct proportion to the genuine presence of love. The reason for this is that the energy of love is more powerful than any other energy, including sexual energy, and it has the power to transform negative sexual feelings. We can learn to rid ourselves of merely sexual thoughts and desires as we come to live more from within, more from the mind of love.

At the same time, we have to learn to shield ourselves on an energetic level from unwanted sexual advances. This can be done in different ways. For example, you can reinforce your conscious and subconscious patterning in this vital area of thought and feeling by actually visualizing yourself encircled by a "shield" of light (notice how this would correspond to a protective "sheath" surrounding your energy field) and by affirming your intention that no one's energy comes onto you, nor is your energy taken by anyone else.

AFFIRMATIONS AND VISUALIZATIONS

As curiously simple as it sounds, this type of visualization and affirmation can be very effective. Our energy fields are highly responsive to our minds on both conscious and unconscious levels. This or something similar can be done before you go to work or into settings where you will possibly encounter the risk of negative energy exchanges. Visualizations and affirmations can be done any time, anywhere. Affirmations are generally more effective when spoken aloud.

Both techniques remind us that the role of mind and of thought must never be underestimated, since such energy exchanges are, ultimately, manifestations of thoughts and desires on conscious and unconscious levels. A strong and unwavering intention not to engage in such exchanges will act as a powerful source of protection.

SEXUAL DEFENSE

In the final analysis, we must be willing to defend our rights in and to love. This means, among other things, that we  and not allow ourselves to be pulled into, and suffocated by, sexual lures. Present all around us, they tend only to destroy.

It also means that we have to be awake to the forces that are shaping our attitudes, desires, and behaviors and those of the persons we love. The culture of seduction that has grown up around us has not come about by accident or chance. It has been cultivated in the media and is what we have sadly come to accept as normal in the advertising and entertainment industries, to name but two. It is reflected in the way we dress, the way we talk, and the way we conduct ourselves with others.

It is also reflected in our dreams and in the fantasies we encounter in the most private recesses of our inner worlds. Illicit exchanges of sexual energy are not "natural" to us. They are learned behaviors, a lowering of energies whose nature it is to lift us into a higher consciousness and into the experience of genuine love, which is our essence and what we most deeply desire. Our past experiences and what we have done to ourselves and others is not the way it has to be.

SEDUCTION OF THE INNOCENT

It is sad to see how entertainment and advertising induce young people to adopt seductive ways and become themselves objects of sexual desire. Children from an ever younger age are being taught to misuse their bodies and sexual energies — not even knowing they are doing so. This is nothing less, really, than the seduction of the innocent.

We have tolerated this for too long, and now we are reaping what has been sown. The misuse of sexual energy is destructive personally, and collectively it acts as a cancer. In our confusion we have lost the sense of moral outrage at what we have allowed to be done to ourselves and our children. How a society relates to and uses the power and creativity of the life-force and sexual energies determines whether it rises to greatness or "pancakes" under the weight of its own illness and delusions.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
DeVorss Publications. ©2003. www.devorss.com

This article was excerpted from:

Sex True or False?
by Michelle & Kevin Hennelly.


Sex True or False? by Michelle & Kevin Hennelly. SEX: TRUE OR FALSE? looks at the intimate beauty and joy of sexual union along with the consequences of sex outside of love. By contrasting these two extremes, it illustrates how casual sex without love distracts us from nourishing our deep-seated emotional and spiritual needs by merely satisfying the body with a quick fix of immediate pleasure. To avoid the obstacles that lure people to a quick fix, the authors provide sensitive guidance and first-hand examples of how love-centered sex can lead to a fulfilling life of enhanced wholeness, allowing you to reach heightened sexual levels that now flow from an emotional and spiritual threshold centered in love.

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About the Authors

Michelle Rios Rice Hennelly & R. Kevin HennellyMICHELLE RIOS RICE HENNELLY is a healer. She received a BA from the College of Santa Fe and a MSW from New Mexico Highlands University.

ROBERT KEVIN HENNELLY is a former attorney and currently a psychotherapist. He received a BA from the University of Notre Dame, a law degree and MS in Foreign Service from Georgetown University, and graduate degrees in counseling and clinical psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute and the Fielding Institute.