Accepting Homosexuality: From Shame to Acceptance

Accepting Homosexuality: From Shame to Acceptance

I feel that now is the time to take a completely different look at Homosexuality! With modern science suspecting the causes of same-sex orientation to be genetic, it is time to dispel the myths of choice. The medical professionals that I have spoken to say that it is just a matter of time until the results are published.

Over and over I have heard the same statement from Gays. "Why would anyone want to choose to be Gay on purpose?" This statement is followed by other reasons such as: "It is such a lonely life!" or "Who would choose to live outside of society and be so hated?"

It Is Not A Choice

When people are born a certain way through no choice of their own -- such as race, or looks, or handicaps -- should they be penalized by society? Is that fair?... I think not. An innocent child of six years of age knows nothing of sex. Nothing about his orientation is based on his knowledge of sex. His puppy love "crushes" are based on the same kinds of little immature feelings that all children feel at that age. They are directed toward the same sex, but the child has no way of understanding the "WHY" of the situation.

It is time to rethink this entire issue. People should be aware of their children and their differences. If you think your child might be gay, get him or her into some counseling. It is a very frightening and lonely time for kids, and they need all the help they can get. How would you like to be upside down and backwards?

There need to be counselors on school campuses. This is the age that these kids have to come to grips with this situation for the first time. I have watched, with some dismay, the attempts at this sort of counseling being initiated by gay support groups at the High School level. They are immediately misunderstood. Groups spring up right away to protest.

These protests are fueled by fear and misunderstanding. Perhaps the people doing the protesting think that these groups are formed to promote promiscuous behavior. This is not the point. Perhaps they think that this is an attempt to recruit straight kids and teach them to be gay. This is ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE! Perhaps they think that this is an attempt to promote gay rights. This is certainly not the purpose! Perhaps they think this is a way to unite Gays so that they can promote militant causes. This is not the reason!...

WHAT IS THE POINT? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO?... These support and counseling groups are actually formed to help kids, who discover that they are gay, to cope with a hostile life.

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They need someone to talk to. Someone who will understand what they are going through. They need to tell their parents that they are gay. They do not know how to do this. The counselors can help them explain things to their parents. They can help the parents cope with this painful and stress-filled fact. They can help the kids stay in school. They can encourage them to avoid irresponsible behavior. A gay child is so alone in the world that they need help in just getting through every day in a normal manner. They already have problems, believe me. The other guys in school have already noticed that they are different. They are reviled and harassed.

In my son's case, they threw him against lockers in the hall. They threw food at him during lunch time, along with lots of insulting verbal abuse... For a young man of sixteen, this is pretty hard to handle. My son never said a word to me about this.

The Societal Shame Syndrome

How could he?... I didn't even know that he was gay. He tried going to the counselors at his school. They weren't too eager to talk to him because they did not even want to acknowledge that they had a gay kid in the school. He spent a lot of time crying. He just went out to the parking lot and sat in his car and cried. When the school authorities discovered him there, he was told to return to class and was given detention.

By December he felt so out-of-place that he asked if he could change schools. We agreed, and he enrolled in the local public school. It didn't take long for the people at the new school to figure out that he was gay and it started all over again. He finally did home-study for the rest of the year. He then took an equivalency test, passed, and that was the end of High School. He was lucky, as he had parents who loved him, even though we rejected his homosexuality.

Other kids are not as fortunate. Some of them are thrown out of the house. Most are rejected by home and school. All of them have emotional problems. The suicide rate for homosexual male teens is the highest rate of all suicides. The whole world is against them. Where can they go?

Perform a mental exercise and just imagine one of your very own children living through this scenario. I don't think any of us would wish this on one of our favorite young people. Can you imagine if every time your child walked out of the house everyone treated him, or her, as if they were unwanted and unwelcome? The looks they receive are full of derision, and the treatment they receive is unkind and demeaning. This is not what anyone would want for their child.

Societal Acceptance

It is time for people to accept that these kids deserve to live a life of acceptance in society just like everyone else. They are a part of the human race, just like everyone else. They are different from the "norm," but so are people of different races and creeds different from each other. So are people who are blind, or have other handicaps, different from the "norm." So are people with Down's syndrome, and other defects, different from this "norm." Are they all supposed to be second class citizens?

I guess you are really lucky if you are fortunate enough to be born one of the lucky ones who gets to be one of these "normal people." And may God have mercy on you if you are not... People around the world have been giving a lot of lip service to the word PEACE. They also talk about BROTHERLY LOVE, and wouldn't it be great if everyone practiced it. Gosh, there wouldn't be any WARS. It's time to practice what we preach!... At least give these people a chance to live their lives without hostility.

Gay people do live on the same planet with the rest of us, and before these people are gay adults, they are gay kids. Instead of pretending that they don't exist, let's give them some mainstream guidelines just like we give all of our other children. God created all of us equal in His eyes. We need to live under the same rules and regulations if we are supposed to be chaste before marriage. And isn't that what God teaches, and all parents, and all of society really want to happen?...

Teach Your Children Well

Unfortunately this is not what really does happen!... That is obvious! All you have to do is look at the history of statistics to see that this doesn't happen the way that we want it to. But we teach our children as if we expect them to behave as we teach them. We don't just say, "Oh well, you are going to do wrong anyway, so why bother?" No! We don't say that to our kids! We teach them with all the sincerity, and hope in our hearts, that they will behave themselves as we want them to, and postpone sex until marriage. We try to enforce this by monitoring their friends, their time, and anything else we can control. Then we hope and pray for the best.

We need to give these same guidelines to gay kids. We need to realize and accept the fact that they are going to date and keep company with members of their same sex just like heterosexual kids do with the opposite sex. When they find the right person, they are going to commit to a lasting relationship, just like all the other young people in the world. This is the way it should be. It's what all people of average background and standard behavior do. They should not be abandoned to a moral garbage dump of -- YOU ARE GAY -- so it doesn't matter what "you people" do. You are going to hell. So just be promiscuous anyway and hide under a rock. Because no one wants to know that you are here anyway. If we handled all of our children in the same manner that we treat our gay children, I would hate to see what a sorry mess our world would be.

Let's do something realistic about these kids. Let's discover them at an earlier age when we can help them cope with their differences. Let us get counseling for them so that they can embark on living a regular life just like everyone else. Next face the fact that they do not CHOOSE to be Gay, nor can they do anything to change the fact. Then let's help them live their lives in a responsible way just like everyone else.

Let's teach ALL of our children that promiscuous behavior results in all manner of unwanted consequences, from unwanted teenage pregnancies, to a variety of venereal diseases including AIDS. The realities of immoral and irresponsible behavior are devastatingly tragic. Also to be taken into consideration are: loss of innocence, loss of self-respect, and a loss of moral values. This is certainly enough reason for any parent to give their child all of the guidance and proper upbringing, that they are humanly capable of.

Published by New Falcon Publications, Tempe, Arizona, USA.
Copyrighted 1997.

Article Source

A Mother Looks at the Gay Child
by Jesse Davis.

sharmeTen percent of the population is homosexual. These people are not just number on a graph. They come into this world as infants, born to everyday moms and dads. They go to school, play, grow up just like everybody else. But when they get to young adulthood they are in a no man's land. No help, no understanding, no acceptance. Here is a book that gives hope to these lonely, perplexed kids-and their parents.

Info/Order this book

About The Author

Jesse DavisJesse Davis was educated in Catholic grammar schools and high schools. Her secular university studies have included accounting, psychology, and interior design. Much of her time is spent in community service work. She and her husband of forty years have five children and four grandchildren. This article is excerpted with permission from her book, A Mother Looks at the Gay Child. Visit her website at

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