Divorce is an individual problem. It cannot be generalized. In some cases, of course, there never should have been a marriage. In some cases, divorce is not the solution, no more so than marriage is the solution for a lonely man. Divorce may be right for one person and wrong for another.
Divorce takes place first in the mind; the legal proceedings follow after. If you are in doubt as to what to do, ask for guidance, knowing that there is always an answer and you will receive it. Follow the lead that comes to you in the silence of your soul. It speaks to you in peace.
THE NAGGING WIFE & BROODING HUSBAND
The wife and the husband must cease being scavengers — always looking at the petty faults or errors in each other. Let each give attention and praise for the constructive and wonderful qualities in the other.
When a man is silently resenting his wife and is full of hostility toward her, he is unfaithful. He is not faithful to his marriage vows, which are to love, cherish, and honor her all the days of his life.
The man who is brooding, bitter, and resentful can swallow his sharp remarks, abate his anger, and he can go to great lengths to be considerate, kind, and courteous. He can deftly skirt the differences. Through praise and mental effort, he can get out of the habit of antagonism. Then, he will be able to get along better, not only with his wife, but with business associates also. Assume the harmonious state, and eventually you will find peace and harmony.
THE GREAT MISTAKE: AIRING DIRTY LAUNDRY
A great mistake is to discuss your marital problems or difficulties with neighbors and relatives. Suppose, for example, a wife says to the neighbor,"John never gives me any money. He treats my mother abominably, drinks to excess, and is constantly abusive and insulting." Now, this wife is degrading and belittling her husband in the eyes of all the neighbors and relatives. He no longer appears as the ideal husband to them.
Never discuss your marital problems with anyone except a trained counselor. Why cause numerous people to think negatively of your marriage? Moreover, as you discuss and dwell upon these shortcomings of your husband, you are actually creating these states within yourself. Who is thinking and feeling it? You are! As you think and feel, so are you.
Get The Latest From InnerSelf
It is well to remember that no two human beings ever lived beneath the same roof without clashes of temperament, periods of hurts and strain. Never display the unhappy side of your marriage to your friends. Keep your quarrels to yourself. Refrain from criticism and condemnation of your partner.
DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOUR WIFE OVER (or husband)
A husband must not try to make his wife over into a second edition of himself. These attempts are always foolish, and many times result in a dissolution of the marriage. These attempts to alter her destroy her pride and self-esteem, and arouse a spirit of contrariness and resentment that proves fatal to the marriage bond.
If you have a good look inside your own mind, and study your character and behavior, you will find so many shortcomings, they will keep you busy the rest of your life. If you say, "I will make him over into what I want," you are looking for trouble and the divorce court. You are asking for misery. You will have to learn the hard way that there is no one to change but yourself.
THREE STEPS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
The first step: Never carry over from one day to another accumulated irritations arising from little disappointments. Be sure to forgive each other for any sharpness before you retire at night. The moment you awaken in the morning, claim infinite intelligence is guiding you in all your ways. Send out loving thoughts of peace, harmony, and love to your marriage partner, to all members of the family, and to the whole world.
The second step: Say grace at breakfast. Give thanks for the wonderful food, for your abundance, and for all your blessings. Make sure that no problems, worries, or arguments shall enter into the table conversation; the same applies at dinner time. Say to your wife or husband, "I appreciate all you are doing, and I radiate love and good will to you all day long."
The third step: Do not take your marriage partner for granted. Show your appreciation and love. Think appreciation and good will, rather than condemnation, criticism, and nagging. The way to build a peaceful home and a happy marriage is to use a foundation of love, beauty, harmony, mutual respect, faith in God, and all things good. As you practice these truths, your marriage will grow more and more blessed through the years.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, a member of Penguin Group (USA).
©2011. All rights reversed. www.us.PenguinGroup.com
This article was adapted with permission from the book:
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind (Deluxe Edition)
by Joseph Murphy.
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, one of the most brilliant and beloved spiritual self-help works of all time, teaches how to dramatically alter your life by changing your thoughts. Selling millions in various editions since its original publication in 1963, this life-changing classic is now available in a handsome and durable keepsake volume, to be cherished for decades.
About the Author
Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., D.D. (1898-1981), was a pioneer of the human potential movement. His book “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” has sold over ten million copies and been translated into twenty-six languages. It is a timeless plain language revelation of the powers of the “law of attraction.”. His pamphlet How to Attract Money first appeared in 1955, and likewise entered many editions. Visit the Dr. Joseph Murphy Trust website at: http://www.dr-joseph-murphy.com