It is rare that just one partner in a relationship is unhappy. When one partner suffers, the other one usually is affected as well. Yet, unless the partners compare notes and seek solutions, they may each feel alone in their unhappiness.
Sometimes, marital conflict comes from feeling that "you can't live with your partner, and you also can't live without your partner". In other words, you really desire the partnership to stay intact, but not in its current state of disrepair. This can lead to the pain of feeling trapped in an unhappy relationship, where you don't want to leave, but you don't want to stay either.
Advice for a Rocky Marriage
My client, Becky, came to me for angelic advice when her marriage began to flounder on rocky shores. She worried that she and her husband had suffered too much pain to salvage their once-happy 12-year relationship.
Becky, a pretty 45-year-old business owner, said, "We've had many problems in my marriage. Both my husband, Brian, and I had previous marriages." Becky explained that they initially had custody of all the children from both of their previous marriages. After Brian and Becky married, they had two more children together. Everything seemed ideal until they began having problems with Brian's ex-wife, Ally.
Becky explained, "Ally was very jealous during the time the boys were living with us (even though she chose to leave them) and made our lives very miserable with her constant intentional disruption and lies".
Becky closed her eyes, jaw, and her fists tightly with anger and continued, "My husband feared standing up to her because she twisted everything to the boys for pity. I became very resentful of her and my husband. His boys are all gone now, but the pain is not. My husband and I have also had many problems in our personal relationship. One issue in particular has become a very uncomfortable situation and has caused me a lot of pain which I cannot seem to forgive him for.
"I guess I am looking for some guidance on the correct path to take. I have considered divorce, but am still uncertain about that. I am not sure if my love for him is gone or has just been blocked with all the pain I am suffering. Maybe if I could forgive him I would find peace and once again be able to love him."
Forgiveness Is The Key
As she talked, I smiled to myself. It was wonderful to hear Becky use the word "forgiveness" since that is such a key healing point emphasized by the angels. Many times, the angels ask me to teach the true meaning of forgiveness to those who hear the word as an oppressive, religious, or cowardice term. To the angels, forgiving means "releasing the pain associated with an event. You don't need to forgive the action, just the person. Your reason for forgiving is to heal yourself, not because it is something that you are expected to do."
Get The Latest From InnerSelf
I relayed the angels' message to Becky, "You are most certainly receiving guidance accurately from your angels. In fact, you have very loud angels and it is a joy to work with them, because they are so clear!"
Becky beamed with joy at the realization that she wasn't alone.
"Yes, forgiveness is the key for you here," the angels continued. "You don't need to forgive Brian's actions, just him as a person. He is in a strange situation right now, because he sees you as being unhappy and it makes him feel bad about himself (even though he is not responsible for your feelings, he takes responsibility for them)."
The three angels circling Becky's heads, her guardian angels, then slowed their movements as a way of showing me the relationship's passion was low, and getting progressively lower steadily. I heard the largest male angel say in my right ear, "It won't last this way".
Message From The Angels
The angels then clearly told me they preferred the marriage to last, for a number of reasons: one, love still existed between Brian and Becky; two, a divorce would disrupt both partners from their life's purpose and spiritual path; and three, the children would suffer emotional pain that would profoundly and negatively affect them in adulthood. Still, the angels shrugged their shoulders and said, "We can't force them to stay together, nor would we want to exercise our will over theirs, but would you at least help them to try?"
I looked solemnly at Becky to emphasize the urgency of her angels' message: "Unless you pull yourself out of your low-energy cycle, your husband won't pull himself up either. So, you really need to "go first" in taking steps to make yourself happy."
The three angels then gave their prescriptions for Becky to increase her energy, and therefore be more present in the relationship: "We want to see you incorporate meditation into your daily schedule", they said. "We realize you are busy with many responsibilities tugging at you each day. However, we remind you that you have asked for our help and that this suggestion is an answer to your prayer. You'll also need to look after yourself in ways that ease your stress level. Exercise, pedicures, hot tub soaks, interesting classes, and such.
"If you'll give us your permission, we will help you to forgive him and his ex-wife. We can help you want to forgive them, and this is what you should ask us for."
Commitment to Husband and Marriage
Becky agreed to incorporate the angels' prescriptions to save her marriage. She realized that her energy and commitment toward the marriage had sagged in recent years. "I want to care about my husband and marriage," she told me, "and I realize that I'll need the help of God, Jesus, and the angels to let go of all this baggage we've been carrying around; baggage that has probably made us feel very, very tired of everything, including each other!"
This article was excerpted from:
Healing with the Angels
by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.
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About The Author
Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. is a clairvoyant psychotherapist who works with the angelic realm. She is the author of "Divine Guidance", "Angel Therapy", and the new oracle card deck, "Healing with the Angels Cards". To receive her workshop schedule or order her books, tapes, or cards, please call 1-800-654-5126, ext. 0 or visit http://www.AngelTherapy.com. This article is excerpted from her latest book, "Healing with the Angels" published by Hay House www.hayhouse.com