Forgiving means "releasing the pain associated with an event. You don't need to forgive the action, just the person. Your reason for forgiving is to heal yourself, not because it is something that you are expected to do."
The familiar Golden Rule -- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you -- has analogues throughout the world's cultures. A better version of the Golden Rule for couples -- and one of the secrets to loving in flow -- is to do unto your partner as your partner would like, not as you would like or as you wish he or she would like.
The COVID-19 pandemic has driven a surge of calls to domestic violence support services, as survivors of violence spend more time at home with their abusers due to lockdowns and other restrictions.
Do the best couples have any secret strategies for staying mindful and not taking one another for granted? Paying attention each time your partner reaches out in some tiny way, even if you must say, 'Now's not a good time,' shows courtesy and caring, and keeps you both current with each other's lives.
If you’ve used a dating app, you’ll know the importance of choosing good profile pics.
Quite often, I spend time with people who are extremely critical of themselves for having multiple failed relationships. The truth is, they're missing the point: We can't fail, because there's no way to do these things wrong. A failed relationship, if you put it into its proper context, is a chance to...
Online dating platforms have witnessed a surge of users and activities during the COVID-19 pandemic. The lockdown restrictions and physical distancing protocols have changed the way people work and live — but also how they date.
When I was conducting research for my new book on the destructive aspects of modern heterosexual relationships, I started looking into the archives of early 20th-century books about courtship and marriage written by physicians and sexologists.
Foreplay is a 24 hour a day affair for most women, in that it is everything that happens between partners during the day. For a woman, foreplay begins when the couple awakens in the morning. From that moment on, everything her partner says and everything her partner does affects how she will feel sexually...
A third party has no power to break up a healthy relationship. No one can come between you and your partner unless something has already come between you. A mate having an affair is not the cause of a breakup; it is a symptom of a breakdown in the fabric of the primary relationship. An affair can be the most valuable wakeup call of a lifetime.
Can any two people create and maintain a great relationship? You may not think so, because in your search for love, you've only met with failure and disappointment. You may have come to expect that any love relationship you have will end up being quite painful...
Quietly, to yourself, think of the one thing you most want no one to know about you. Maybe you had an affair, or a nose job; maybe you stole something once, cheated on your income taxes or had an abortion. Sometimes the dirty deed seems absurd. I had a woman confess to me in tears that years ago she had...
How much do love and marriage play into overall well-being? A new study quantifies the happiness of married, formerly married, and single people at the end of their lives to find out.
The coronavirus pandemic is affecting sexuality and relationships. The confinement and social distancing measures protecting us are unintentionally exacerbating intimacy-related difficulties and limiting people’s access to partners.
From songs and poems to novels and movies, romantic love is one of the most enduring subjects for artworks through the ages. But what about the science?
The qualities people list as ideal in potential partners don’t really reflect personal preferences so much as they are just generally positive qualities, according to new research.
Our names lie at the heart of our identity. But in Britain nearly all married women - almost 90% in a 2016 survey - abandon their original surname and take their husband’s.
Love is enough unto itself. It needs no betterment. It is perfect as it is; it is not in any way meant to be more perfect. The very desire shows a misunderstanding about love and its nature. Love is not a quantity. It is a quality, which is immeasurable.
Not everyone is a fan of rock ‘n’ roll but, for many people, sex and drugs make a great combination.
Love, sex and mate choice are topics that never go out of fashion among humans or, surprisingly, among some Australian birds.
For those dipping their toes into the dating pool during stay-at-home orders, it’s been like swimming in a version of Netflix’s reality series “Love is Blind.”
Social distancing and lockdown mean that many couples are now spending too much time with each other – and not enough time apart.
Sex is one of the most natural things in the world – none of us would be here without it. Yet there are many things about sex that need to be learned.
You've been inundated with erroneous information. It becomes terribly hard to try to figure out what's right. You're inundated by all types of moralistic behavior, commandments, church rules, and law. Behavioral modification is probably the most simplistic.
COVID-19 has revealed a great many things about our world, including the vulnerabilities inherent in our economic, health care and educational institutions.
Our intimate live-in relationships offer us a constant reminder of the work we still have to do. If we are successful, we can transform an ordinary relationship into the precious gift of partnership.
The public health response to COVID-19 has placed unprecedented limits on social contact. Many people may go without physical sexual intimacy for an extended (and indefinite) period.
Many of us are several weeks into stay-at-home directives from our governments and health officials.
In the wake of COVID-19 social distancing and stay-at-home orders, young couples may find themselves spending more time with each other than ever before.
When Tinder issued an in-app public service announcement regarding COVID-19 on March 3 we all had a little laugh as a panoply of memes and gags hit the internet.
Relationships need care and nurturing, and often it's hard to know what to do. You have probably been searching for reasons why your relationship isn't as warm, loving, and compassionate as you'd like. It is natural for relationships to have an ebb and flow, to grow more or less intimate as circumstances shift...
Given the common modes of transmission of respiratory viruses, engaging in certain types of sexual activities may risk spreading the virus. However, expecting people to abstain from sex during times of isolation is unrealistic.
Whether people are struggling to save a marriage, to cooperate in a family crisis, or to build rapport with a difficult boss, they usually have one thing in common: They need to share emotional information that can help them feel connected.
Women are now the main earners in about one in four Australian households. This increase in female “breadwinner” households challenges traditional expectations of men and women and their roles in family life.
Concern about the popularity of “sexting” - the sending and receiving of sexually explicit text messages and photographs - among young people has been a frequent point of discussion in recent years.
Once you are in a relationship, how can you develop intimacy? One key is honesty. Some people tell little lies about themselves when they first begin a relationship. This is destructive to intimacy, because your partner will never be completely sure if you are telling the truth. It is much easier to maintain credibility if you...
If you unpick the threads, you will quickly find much of the falling occurred in the mind. Many artefacts that go towards creating intimacy are imagined.
The sex act has many health benefits from reducing stress and tension, to boosting your immune system. It may even affect your risk of developing certain cancers.
Whether we’re looking for love or lust, we look for someone with a good sense of humour. Studies of courtship on Tinder and Facebook show that a sense of humour is the most valued quality in a potential mate.
For the hapless in love, a yearly reminder of failed romances, unrequited love and the seemingly unending search for the illusive “one”.
Mate copying (sometimes called mate-choice copying) is where an individual is preferred as a future romantic partner simply because they have relationship experience.
It is no accident that arguably the most erotic line of English poetry is all prepositions. The essence of love, at least of passionately romantic love, is revealed in its very grammar.
Why do we love? At best, it’s a mixed blessing, at worst, a curse. Love makes otherwise intelligent people act like fools; it causes heartache and grief.
Take care lovers, wherever you are, as Valentine’s Day is soon upon us. Whether you’re in a relationship or want to be in a relationship, research over a number of years shows that February 14 can be a day of broken hearts and broken wallets.
Americans celebrate love on Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day — a holiday named for Saint Valentine, a third-century Roman clergyman who secretly performed weddings for soldiers forbidden to marry under Emperor Claudius II.
As we lick our Valentine card envelopes and slip into something more comfortable, it’s a good time to ponder our sexual relationships.
The myth that educated women over 40 find it impossible to find a mate to marry prevails - but it has long been debunked.
Many single people will be looking for their date online. In fact, this is now one of the most popular ways heterosexual couples meet.
What makes a good relationship? A willingness to surrender one’s heart—totally and without reservation to your Beloved—and to trust that, when you leap together into the precipice of the unknown, you will be able to reach confidently for one another and find solace or joy in equal measure through that loving communion.
We experience repetitious patterns in relationship, work, or health; different actors are showing up to play out the same role. Eventually we recognize that it cannot be an accident that the same type of people keep doing the same things; it is we who have drawn them according to the signals we are radioing to central casting.
After many years of coaching and leading seminars, I have discovered two areas that most people ask about most frequently: prosperity and relationships. Most people are looking for their love mate, or, if they have one, are seeking a better connection.
How did homosexuality in humans evolve? Typically, this question is posed as a paradox.
Despite the degree to which sexuality permeates the culture, the collective guilt of history can still be felt. We have been socialized to be suspicious of pleasure, to live removed from our bodies, and to maintain a tight rein over our feelings. In a culture riddled with guilt...
I have asked people to list all of their important possessions, from top to bottom, and they all invariably come up with similar lists. Houses, cars, furniture, stocks... and other material goods usually rank highly. Then I tell them that they have overlooked the number one valuable commodity in their life...
Men who adhere to rigid, sexist stereotypes of how to be a man are more likely to use and tolerate violence against women.
The research found Tinder users reported lower levels of satisfaction with their faces and higher levels of shame about their bodies.
Beneath most fights is an attempt to get the other to respond to your emotional reality and sense of justice.
Popular commentary on dating apps often associates their use with “risky” sex, harassment and poor mental health. But anyone who has used a dating app knows there’s much more to it than that.
Facing the prospect of spending yet another festive season with their romantic partner, many people start having doubts about their relationship in the run up to Christmas.
Polyamory is the act of engaging in multiple consensual, potentially long-term, romantic or sexual relationships at the same time.
Loving an insecure person can be frustrating. You always feel like you have to offer praise or reassurance.
Over the last four decades, Joyce and I have counseled many couples who are suffering with their sexual relationship. Most of these couples also feel disconnected from each other. They think they can improve their overall relationship by improving their sexual relationship. This is usually a mistake.
With sex on their minds, people are more likely to change their attitudes and engage in deceptive self-presentation, research on sexual priming finds.
Research across many years and many cultures has found around 35-40% of people say they feel insecure in their adult relationships. While 60-65% experience secure, loving and satisfying relationships.
Here's a stunner: 64 percent of all marriages that began in 1990 ended in divorce by the turn of the millennium. 70 percent of those failed marriages produced at least one child. Roughly half of all children born in this country over the past 15 years have ended up being children of divorce.
Tantra is well regarded within the yoga tradition as the fastest path to enlightenment. Eastern legend holds that an average human soul takes 100,000 lifetimes to achieve enlightenment, but that with tantra, any person truly committed to this path can gain enlightenment in as little as one lifetime. I soon discovered why this is true.
Is he or she the one? You know… the one to introduce to my parents, the one to move in with, the one to start a family with, the one to marry? At some point in every dating relationship, you ask yourself some version of these questions.
Few topics arouse as much interest and controversy as sex. This is hardly surprising. The biological continuance of the species hinges on it – if human beings stopped having sex, there would soon be no more human beings.
The paradox of vulnerability in relationships, the path to connection, is to allow yourself to be both strong and vulnerable at the same time. When you do, it allows your partner to get to see the real you with your defenses down. This means no hiding. Not from yourself, not from your partner and best of all no hiding from the truth.
In today's changing times, we are looking for a better way to be ourselves, not someone we were raised to be. In this time of intense self-discovery, all others serve as our mirrors.
It has long been clear that a person’s sexual preference – whether they prefer male or female sexual partners, or both – is influenced by his or her genetic makeup.
The claim that homosexual men share a “gay gene” created a furor in the 1990s. But new research two decades on supports this claim – and adds another candidate gene.
Sex robots made headlines after American comedian Whitney Cummings brought out her very own lookalike robot for her Netflix special called Can I Touch It? RealBotix
More heterosexual couples today meet online, research finds. In fact, matchmaking is now the primary job of online algorithms.
When love, lust and all things in between come calling, dating apps appear to be the only way to meet new people and experience romance in 2019.
Science fiction films such as Blade Runner (1982), Lars and the Real Girl (2007) and Her (2013) explore the advent of human-machine relationships. And in recent years, reality has met fiction.
If you listen to any number of love songs, dating “experts”, or plunge head first into a romance novel, you’re likely to think it’s in our destiny to find that special someone – your soul-mate.
As we write in The Shared Heart, "The real soulmate is a state of consciousness, not a person." That being said, there can also be an outer soulmate, or life partner, an ancient connection with another soul where the primary purpose is serving together, blessing the earth together, more than simply loving one another.
Humans have discovered an almost infinite amount of ways to have sex — and things to have sex with.
“Nice guys finish last” is one of the most widely believed maxims of dating.
There have been times in Hannah Adams’ life when she’d been confused about her body and birth control. Sex education in middle and high school in mountainous eastern Kentucky was severely lacking, she says.
Do you need to shave your pubic area before having sex?
Is it normal for girls to masturbate and are there any health consequences?
How often do you tell the special people in your life exactly what it is that you love most about them? How often do you identify what's good about your spouse, lover, children, sisters, brothers, dad, mother, uncles, aunts, friends, and colleagues -- and actually put it into words so there can be no doubt?
The topic of sexual consent seems to be in the news on a daily basis, especially since #MeToo went viral one year ago.
For couples who frequently use the drug, episodes of marijuana use increase the likelihood couples will experience “intimacy events,” according to new research.
The United States appears to be in a romantic slump. Marriage rates have plummeted over the last decade.
Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life.
Beyond all of the material gifts we share, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the truth of who we really are. While true love invites us to come out and stand naked in the sun, fearful "love" asks us to hide who we are for the sake of holding on to a person or relationship. When you think about it, how valuable can a relationship be if you have to live in the dark to keep it?
Teenagers have an overly simplistic understanding of consent that often ignores relevant non-verbal cues, a new study suggests.
The development of trust in a relationship is highly dependent upon two core concepts: empathy and attunement. Attunement is about being deeply aware of yourself and others. It is also about being receptive to information you get from others.
The picture of a dad with a toddler in his arms happily waving as mum heads off to work is attractive – it suggests a more equal, sharing and caring type of world.
Loved up and living together. But your relationship might not be as secure as you think it is.
In the 18th and 19th centuries, masturbation was thought of as a “disease”, capable of causing psychological or physical damage like blindness or insanity. This medical and moral panic surrounding masturbation can still shape beliefs today.
A number of years ago, I found myself at a public sex beach in southern France for research purposes. Unsurprisingly, I experienced some ethical dilemmas.
It’s not difficult to tell when a female chimpanzee is in heat. As she nears ovulation — the point in her cycle when she’s most fertile – her bottom swells up like a balloon and turns bright pink. Humans are obviously different. We don’t make a show of how fertile we are. But does this mean that women have evolved to conceal ovulation?
Why do men send dick pics? Some research and popular commentary suggests it is for reasons of narcissism and over-confidence. Some men no doubt send them in the hopes of receiving a nude photo in kind, or because they genuinely believe that’s what women desire.
Instagram users have taken to issuing “weekiversary posts,” where they diligently mark the duration of their romances. This phenomenon makes some doubt the intensity of their own relationship.
In prenatal ultrasounds or at delivery, many new parents look between their baby’s legs: the presence of a penis is taken as a strong sign that it’s a boy.
Couples fight. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes these fights provide comic relief. At other times they threaten the very survival of the relationship.