Singing love songs to yourself may sound like something strange to do but it actually is therapeutic and great for one's self-esteem.
The experience of singing love songs to myself first started when I was listening to the radio and hearing all those lovey-dovey songs. My "Self" started substituting in my mind the name of Creator, God, the Source, etc. for the word 'you'. For example: 'You are so beautiful to me...' became 'God is so Beautiful to me". It was a great feeling. Every time I heard a love song, it turned into a devotional song of praise and gratitude to the Universe. It certainly gave a lot more depth to the songs I was hearing.
You may recall the title character in Sister Act (played by Whoopi Goldberg) doing the same thing... Turning everyday love songs into devotional songs to God, or the Universe (or however you wish to portray the Creative Force), is a wonderful way to connect with love and feelings of bliss.
Then I had a brain-wave. I wondered, 'how would it feel to sing those songs to myself?' Well, my mind really went to town on that one. You should have heard it! "Who do you think you are? The Queen of Sheba? Don't you think your ego is inflated enough as it is?" etcetera etcetera. Now I know that if my mind kicks into gear that strongly it's scared about something.
What's So Scary About That?
When I reflected upon it, I realized that singing love songs to myself would upset all that old conditioning. You know the stuff about self-sacrifice and always putting the other one first. The "I'm not good enough, lovable enough" routine. Well, I bit the bullet and ignored the rude comments the old programming, via my mind, was making.
At first it felt a little strange. "What if someone heard me? What would they think?" Oops, old programming again. I can hear my grandmother and my father worried about what the neighbors would say. Old programming! So, I kept affirming "I deserve the best in life", which includes loving myself completely and unconditionally.
How To Increase Your Self-Esteem
The more I substituted "me" for "you" in the lyrics, the better I felt. My self-esteem grew in leaps and bounds. I really started loving myself more. After all, hearing someone (especially a famous singer) tell you over and over that you are wonderful, that you are beautiful, that you are the most lovable person there is, it finally sinks in. So when I heard those words rather than direct them mentally to the man in my life, I addressed them to me. So, "You are so wonderful to me, can't you see. You're everything I dreamed for, everything I need..." became addressed to me... re-affirming that I am wonderful...
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I started to believe that, yes, I was lovable and beautiful and wonderful. After all, it worked with the multiplication tables, did it not? Repeating them over and over did sink them in to such an extent that we can multiply those simple numbers without giving it a second thought.
Repetition Is The Key
So repetition also works with building up self-love and self-esteem. Try it! Sing love songs to yourself. It may feel strange at first, but it definitely boosts your morale and makes you know that you are loved. After all, you can't lie to yourself. Your subconscious takes at face value everything you tell it, so your affirmations are taken as the ultimate truth... even if you don't really believe them yet.
"I am so beautiful to me... I'm everything I dreamed of, everything I need. I am so beautiful, to me..." Sing that often enough and your self-esteem and self-love will grow.
It's Always Make-Believe
Another step is to "pretend" that the Universe/God/All That Is is singing those love songs to you. That feels absolutely great! Makes you feel like you're on top of the world — which you are. You'll see that when you start using all those love songs you hear on the radio and apply them to your personal growth or to your spiritual growth, it will make an immense difference on how you see yourself, and how you view the world.
After all, don't we feel great when we're in love? Well, what if we were in love all the time? In love with ourselves and with the Universe. One way to stay in that state of mind is to sing those love songs. You'll be amazed at what it will do... and the opportunities abound.
Co-Dependent or Co-Creator?
There are many songs that when applied to another are downright "codependent", such as "I'm nothing without you", but when you sing that to the Universe or to yourself, if puts it in a whole other context, doesn't it? Of course you're nothing without "you" (whether the "you" is yourself or the Universe)... However, you are still yourself and a worthy human being even if your lover leaves you.
Many of the love songs when sung about a man (or woman) are downright depressing. Again, the best example is the "I'm nothing without you" cliché. Well, even if everyone in your life left you, you would still be "something/someone"... So turn those songs around, and start singing them for a higher purpose... that of raising your own self-esteem, self-love, and/or addressing them to the Creator who indeed we would be nothing without. (If the Creator -- in whichever form you see it -- was not in existence, we really would be nothing...)
Go on, "sing, sing a song, sing it loud, sing it strong..." and you'll come out stronger yourself. Don't worry about what others say... You don't have to tell them that you're singing those songs to yourself or to God... Just do it! You'll love it!
Recommended book on this topic:
Raise your self-esteem using any of these 52 simple suggestions, one for each week of the year.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com