You Are My Valentine: Loving the One You're With

Are You My Valentine? Loving the one you're with
There can be plenty of tension associated with Valentine's Day. One cold, dreary February 14th, I am at the grocery store at 5 p.m. In the parking lot I can see men getting out of their cars and scurrying into the store. Inside at the express lane checkout counter are five men standing in line, each holding a dozen roses...

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship
The paradox of vulnerability in relationships, the path to connection, is to allow yourself to be both strong and vulnerable at the same time. When you do, it allows your partner to get to see the real you with your defenses down. This means no hiding. Not from yourself, not from your partner and best of all no hiding from the truth.

No Means No, and Yes Means Yes: Moving To A Different Model Of Consent

No Means No, and Yes Means Yes: Moving To A Different Model Of Consent
The rise of the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements have put an unprecedented focus on the issue of what is acceptable sexual behaviour. An explosion of high-profile allegations in the Hollywood movie industry and in the Australian theatre scene have only added to the public scandal.

A Different Kind of Valentine

A Different Kind of Valentine
February is the month of Valentines, when our thoughts turn to love. Usually we give Valentines gifts and affection to romantic partners. This month I would like to shift our focus to expressions of love to our family, in particular our parents.

To Really Choose a Man

To Really Choose a Man
To really love a man is to choose him over and over again. It’s not enough to say marriage vows one time, though that is certainly important. The relationship is deepened if you let him know often that you would choose him all over again if given the choice.

How You Can Use Color To Communicate How You Feel

How You Can Use Color To Communicate How You Feel
When people are sad they are often said to be “blue”. Jealousy is implied if someone is described as being “green with envy”.

A Parent's Guide To Why Teens Make Bad Decisions

A Parent's Guide To Why Teens Make Bad Decisions
From getting beyond drunk at a friend’s party, to some seriously questionable outfit choices, teenagers often do things that seem outlandishly stupid. But we now know why...

Meeting Myself Again Through My Old Journals

Meeting Myself Again Through My Old Journals
I wrote about my difficulties, my challenges, my full and often overwhelming life as a wife, mother, daughter, and full-time professor with hours of evening paperwork. All of these roles took huge chunks out of me, and my exhausting days were underscored by a line I came upon in my journal, one that actually took my breath away as I read it twenty years later...

Achieving an Attitude of Gratitude... for Kids (and Adults)

Achieving an Attitude of Gratitude... for Kids (and Adults)
How do you help your child achieve a positive sense of worth? By teaching him how to appreciate himself. Do this by: 1. First, no matter how your child is behaving, find something within him to value and be grateful for. 2. Then, point out to your child the specific quality or action you are appreciating about him.

Minding Our Words and Saying What We Really Mean

Minding Our Words and Saying What We Really Mean
Telepathy is the language of communication in the spiritual realm. Imagine knowing the thoughts of all the people around you and having all your thoughts revealed without speaking. No one could manipulate or pretend to be other than who they are. All our motivations, fears, and loves would be exposed.

6 Easy Ways To Encourage Children To Eat Less Sugar

6 Easy Ways To Encourage Children To Eat Less SugarA new campaign from Public Health England is urging parents to limit snacks for children to two a day, and 100 calories a piece. The aim is to reduce kids’ sugar consumption.

Are You More Likely To Deny The Truth In Your Second Language?

Are You More Likely To Deny The Truth In Your Second Language?Whether you’re speaking in your native tongue, or in another language, being understood and believed is fundamental to good communication. After all, a fact is a fact in any language, and a statement that is objectively true should just be considered true, whether presented to you in English, Chinese or Arabic.

How To Awaken And Realize Who And What We Truly Are

How To Awaken And Realize Who And What We Truly Are
Everyone says that they want to change, but who is ready, willing, and able to actually do so? Are we ready to give up the comfy, secure little nest cozily settled at the bottom of those ruts, those psychological habits...

Accessing The Power of Silent Communication and Love

Accessing The Power of Silent Communication and LoveI have come to believe, through watching the etheric state, that we are all in silent subliminal dialogue with each other. I've observed the flashes of energy that pass back and forth between people, and I've seen people react to thoughts that are projected toward them. Thoughts jump...

When Should You Unfriend Someone On Facebook?

When Should You Unfriend Someone On Facebook?The nature and ethics of “fake news” has become a subject of widespread concern. But, for many of us, the issue is much more personal: What are we to do when a cranky uncle or an otherwise pleasant old friend persists in populating our news feeds with a stream of posts that can run deeply contrary to our own values?

How To Get Your Message Across In Just 60 Seconds

How To Get Your Message Across In Just 60 SecondsDo you have something important to say, but find it hard to get people’s attention? Or have you tried to listen to someone who claims to have something interesting to impart, but they can’t explain it and the idea gets lost? (Or worse, you get bored and lose interest, even if they’re trying to describe their revolutionary new laser shark).

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A Woman

4 Ways To Be More Vulnerable With A WomanTo be vulnerable with a woman is to allow yourself to be seen and known in your entirety, not just your powerful, independent, secure, loving and capable self. To be vulnerable is to show her your fear, pain, shame, and need for love.

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Why We All Want The Same Things In A Partner

Characteristics merely reflect gross exaggerations of important evolutionary qualities that we actually want in a long-term partner.

Children of the Light Have Very Little Tolerance for Dishonesty

Children of the Light Have Very Little Tolerance for DishonestyThere is a new "breed" of humans among us and they are here to usher in the new age of peace. These powerful and intuitive people have little tolerance for dishonesty. They are on Earth so that they can teach others about the importance of speaking truthfully and living in harmony.

Why Does A Period In A Text Message Make You Sound Insincere Or Angry?

Why Does A Period In A Text Message Make You Sound Insincere Or Angry?When it comes to texting, the period, full stop, point – whatever you call it – has been getting a lot of attention. People have begun noticing slight changes to the way our smallest punctuation mark is deployed, from declarations that it’s going out of style to claims that it’s becoming angry.

Who Are You? Identify Yourself, Please!

Who Are You? Identify Yourself, Please!
Being asked by someone what we believe our “identity” is can be difficult. Whenever this author hears a police officer on a television show yell out, “Identify yourself, please!” she has to laugh. Should the person respond with “I’m a single woman in her 40s who owns six cats and brews my own beer in my spare time”? Or perhaps, “I’m a Leo, and I love to jet ski and eat junk food”?

How Do We Teach Children Morals and Values?

How Do We Teach Children Morals and Values?Schools in England are legally required to promote the moral development of pupils. Unfortunately though, there is little agreement on what this involves.

How Young People Talk About Abstaining From Sex

New research determines how college students initiate conversations about their decision to abstain from or delay sex, and the strategies they use to explain this to their partners.

Why People Cheat on Their Partners

Why People Cheat on Their PartnersWe all know what infidelity is, but a universal definition is difficult to carve out—especially in the digital age. Is watching porn cheating, or is it only cheating if the person on the other side of the screen is live?

Learning to Listen with our Inner Ear

Being Responsive by Learning How to ListenIf you grew up in a home where you were either neglected or constantly on the losing end of a win-lose situation, you will be trying to build responsiveness and responsibility in yourself at the same time that you try to maintain it in your household -- not an easy task by any means, but one you can handle.

I’ve Been There, Honey

I’ve Been There, HoneyThere's a huge difference between sympathy and empathy, between "I'm sorry" and "I've been there." It's not that sympathy is bad. It's just that empathy invites a connection that sympathy simply can't. Sympathy says, "I feel sorry for you." while empathy declares "I am you."

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We Kiss

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We KissSimple behavioural tests have now allowed us to see how this organisation is revealed through biases in how we see and interact with the world – and each other – often without us being aware of it.

How Can Groups Make Good Decisions?

How Can Groups Make Good Decisions?We all know that when we make decisions in groups, they don't always go right -- and sometimes they go very wrong. How can groups make good decisions?

How To Choose Picture Books That Will Empower A Child

How To Choose Picture Books That Will Empower A ChildFor centuries, most children’s books reinforced messages that children are unimportant, incompetent and powerless. Children need to shape up and adopt adults’ values. Children must change to fit into an adult world.

Conversation Tips for Surviving the Holidays

Conversation Tips for Surviving the HolidaysSometimes, you just can't relate to your relatives. Whether it's sports, politics, or past events, gathering around a dinner table during the holiday season can be a daunting prospect.

How to Stay in Love: The Secret of the Best Relationship

The Secret of the Best Relationship

Everyone wants to stay in love, so why do some relationships make it, while others don’t? Why does the love in some relationships flourish, while getting buried in others? What are the secrets of a healthy and fulfilling relationship?

Can Lies About Santa Be Good For Your Child?

Can Lies About Santa Be Good For Your Child?Developmental psychology suggests that fantastical beliefs in children are associated with positive developmental outcomes. And parents need not worry, children will bust the Santa myth themselves, when the time is right.

When Sex Roles Get Reversed, Some Females Develop A Penis

A male African jacana bird mounts a female, but who takes the lead in caring for the young?. In many species, the males develop elaborated sexual traits to attract females and dissuade potential rival males through competition.

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually Want

Why Young Men Have Sex They Don’t Actually WantHeterosexual men have unwanted sex with women for two reasons, interviews with 39 college men suggest: in order to conform to gender expectations and to avoid uncomfortable interactions.

Attempting To Un­derstand Love and the Mechanisms Leading To Happiness

Attempting To Un­derstand Love and the Mechanisms Leading To HappinessWe all have hopes, dreams, and desires that inspire our lives. We all strive to attain happiness in life. If we agree on this common goal, we may ask our­selves how we can reliably achieve it. We recognize that love is a key factor in realizing happiness, yet we...

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?Have you ever noticed that lessons tend to repeat themselves? Does it seem as if you married or dated the same person several times in different bodies with different names? Have you run into the same type of boss over and over again? Do you find yourself having the same problem with many different coworkers?

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused Words

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused WordsAmerican film director Judd Apatow once confessed to Stephen Colbert that he’d been mispronouncing his wife's name for nearly two decades. He’d been saying “Lez-lee”, while she pronounces it as “Less-lee”. When he asked her why she hadn’t corrected his mistake, she said she “thought he wouldn’t be able to make the adjustment”. 

How To Help Children Recover From The Trauma Of Disaster

How To Help Children Recover From The Trauma Of DisasterIn any culture, children hit by a natural disaster will see family members undergo huge amounts of stress and worry. They may be forced to live in temporary accommodation, and experience many changes to their usual routines and social circles.

The Quality of Mercy: Choosing Kindness and Love

The Quality of Mercy: Choosing Kindness and LoveAn elementary schoolteacher asked her students to describe in a sentence, “What is love?” The teacher received many humorous and touching answers, yet the one that moved her the most was: “Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Why Men Also Get Postnatal Depression

Why Men Also Get Postnatal DepressionOver the past few years, there has been an increase in media reports about postnatal depression and other maternal mental illnesses, and campaigns have led to greater understanding about the need for more specialist services.

Catching Other People's Bad Moods? A Few Tips for Smoothing Your Way

You Can Be a Radiant Sun! A Few Tips for Smoothing Your WayWe are all becoming ultrasensitive now, and our level of telepathy is increasing. Without realizing it, you may frequency-match the low vibrations and troubled thoughts floating around just below the surface in the nonphysical world — and wonder why your mood suddenly changes from cheerful to somber...

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel Loved

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel LovedPeople in the United States may largely agree about what gestures and actions make them feel most loved. In a new study, researchers found that small, non-romantic gestures—like someone showing compassion or snuggling with a child—topped the list of what makes people feel loved.

Blues, Blues, Go Away

Blues, Blues, Go AwayWhen you do something with a negative attitude or in a negative (resentful) frame of mind, you will get the same kind of results on an energy level. As you sow, so shall you reap.

When Is The Right Time For Your Child To Take A Test?

testing 11 18

Standardized tests have become the primary tool for determining a student’s academic ability. Legislators and administrators use test data to evaluate the effectiveness of schooling on children and create curriculum.

Loneliness Can Be More Deadly Than Obesity

Why Loneliness Can Be More Deadly Than ObesityIndependence is glorified in North American culture as a symbol of strength. As a society, we value individual achievement and extol self-reliance.

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

There is no research evidence that spanking improves child behavior. On the contrary, spanking is associated with aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems and negative relationships with parents. 

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing Up

Is Sexual Harassment Part Of Growing UpAllegations about sexual harassment in Hollywood, British politics and various other sectors have exposed a reality already familiar to most women.

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

World Kindness Day is a global 24-hour celebration dedicated to paying-it-forward and focusing on the good. We are encouraged to perform acts of kindness such as giving blood, cleaning a communal microwave at work, or volunteering at a nursing home.

How To Live From Your Heart and Welcome Everyone with Love

How To Live From Your Heart & Welcome Everyone with LoveIn order to reach the summit of your own personal mountain, your mandate must be to love, inspire, and serve others in whatever you do -- not in some lofty purpose "over there," but in your daily life, right where you are right now. Every night before you go to bed, it helps to...

How to Heal a Painful Family Relationship

How to Heal a Painful Family RelationshipOur relationships with parents, children, siblings, and spouses can be very complex puzzles of love and frustration — we can’t live with them and can’t live without them. We often have long-held patterns and painful feelings related to our sense of worth...

The Three Parts of Relationship: You, Me, and We

The Three Parts of Relationship: You, Me, and WeWe are always in a relationship of some sort. A relationship contains three components: you, someone or something else, and the actual coming together of the two of you: the rela­tionship itself, the Third Circle.

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself First

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself FirstNone of us ever truly forgets the nurturing, warm comfort of the womb. We spend our lives trying to re-create that feeling of being held and protected. Nor do we forget the pain of individuation, of leaving Mother and home. We seek throughout our lives to have the separation and the resulting loneliness filled with meaningful relationships...

Are We Hardwired To Pick Up Crying Babies?

Are We Hardwired To Pick Up Crying Babies?Newborn babies have a remarkable amount of power. Though there are few things they can do for themselves, they can manipulate the world around them by summoning help with a simple wail. 

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

Fewer Are Getting Married. Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?There’s no doubt: Fewer people are making a commitment to marriage. Barely “more than half of adults in the U.S. say they’re living with a spouse. It is the lowest share on record, and down from 70 percent in 1967.”

Why Bystanders Rarely Speak Up When They Witness Sexual Harassment

Why Bystanders Rarely Speak Up When They Witness Sexual HarassmentThe uproar over allegations that Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein sexually abused and harassed dozens of the women he worked with is inspiring countless women (and some men) to share their own personal sexual harassment and assault stories.

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?Although most of us don't mind doing favors now and then, unhappily, some people have no qualms about inconveniencing others if doing so helps them achieve their goals. Although helping these people may give us some pleasure initially, our good feelings vanish when we finally realize we are being used.

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center We do not need history to tell us that having created every kind of sacred space around the world has not ensured that human beings are guided by unconditional love and the wisdom of the soul. The missing link is the heart. This is why the wisdom teachings of heart-centeredness are always revolutionary at whatever time and wherever they appear.

Teens Are Sleeping Less But There's A Surprisingly Easy Fix

Teens Are Sleeping Less But There's A Surprisingly Easy FixSleep experts agree that teens need at least nine hours of sleep a night. But by 2015, 43 percent of teens reported sleeping less than seven hours a night on most nights – meaning almost half of U.S. teens are significantly sleep-deprived.

Developing True Heart Connection and the Capacity for Love and Happiness

Developing True Heart Connection and the Capacity for Love and HappinessThroughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another gives rise to all of this pain. What is the way out of...

This Is Why Child Obesity Rates Have Soared

This Is Why Child Obesity Rates Have SoaredNew data on almost 13 million people, from 200 countries around the world, points to a tenfold increase in rates of obesity among children and adolescents over the last four decades.

Surprising Facts About How We Talk To Babies

Surprising Facts About How We Talk To BabiesHere’s an experiment to try next time you meet a baby, try holding a normal conversation. It is very difficult, isn’t it? Yes it is! Oh, yes it is!

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong Question

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong QuestionThe animal rights charity PETA recently made a link between autism and drinking cow’s milk. The article on its website discussed research that linked a dairy-free diet with a reduction in symptoms of autism in children. 

Why Having The Sex Talk Early And Often With Your Kids Is Good For Them

Why Having The Sex Talk Early And Often With Your Kids Is Good For ThemParents may be uncomfortable initiating “the sex talk,” but whether they want to or not, parents teach their kids about sex and sexuality. Kids learn early what a sexual relationship looks like.

How To Allow Yourself To Be Authentic When You’re Scared to Be Real

How To Allow Yourself To Be Authentic When You’re Scared to Be RealWe each speak around 16,000 words each day. But that number pales in comparison to all the things we don’t say. We want to tell people when we’re hurting, but we’re afraid of looking weak and inferior. We want to share our dreams, but we’re afraid of...

A Hawai'ian Formula To Free Yourself and Install A New Life

Following A Hawai'ian Formula and Installing A New Life
Being happy is an attitude to life that is less determined by outside circumstances and more by inner qualities. A person’s character and mind is stable when their inner family is in harmony. As a metaphysician would put it: ‘It’s the same on the inside as the outside.’

How Sharing Parenting Duties Could Be Key To Marital Bliss

sharing parental duties 10 5The quality of women’s relationships with their partner is diminished if they view their parenting division as unfair or want to spend more time working, our new study of employed parents in Canada has found.

Healthy Boundaries: Why You Need Them and How To Create Them

What Are Healthy Boundaries? Why Do You Need Them and How Do You Create Them?Your boundary is the place where you end and another begins. A boundary marks your emotional, physical, and energetic space. Having it ensures your ability to act from your own center and connect to your spiritual Source...

Relationships That Can Secure, Challenge, Or Befriend The Soul

Relationships That Can Secure, Challenge, Or Befriend The SoulPsychoanalyst Heinz Kohut identified three kinds of relationship experience. The first, in which another affirms the validity of our strivings, secures our soul. The second, in which somebody appears to be everything we would like to become, challenges our soul. The third...

How to Awaken to What Is Truly Good for Each and Every One

Awakening to “The Good” and to a Deep Sense of OnenessIf we can choose the way we act, we have the responsibility to choose it wisely. Evidently, we can act to maximize our own self-interest, and that is what most people do most of the time. But we can also act with a measure of altruism and public spirit. Acting in that way may not be contrary to our self-interest...

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?In parenting, there aren’t often straightforward answers, and sleep tends to be contentious. There are questions about whether we are overstating children’s sleep problems.

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not Depression

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not DepressionNew research suggests we can “pick up” good and bad moods from friends, but not depression. “We investigated whether there is evidence for the individual components of mood (such as appetite, tiredness, and sleep) spreading through US adolescent friendship networks..."

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't Real

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't RealWhen we talk about it on paper, detaching or reducing our level of attachment doesn't sound so dif­ficult. There is no need to complicate anything; we keep it simple, moving from one interaction to another without becoming too attached to any one outcome. But in life it rarely happens this way...

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside World

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside WorldThe developing brain is not merely a downsized version of that of an adult, but is uniquely designed to prepare itself for the external world. It has structures and functions whose sole role is to set up the basic circuits required for life after birth

Loving Unconditionally Is Not Always Easy...

Loving Unconditionally Is Not Always Easy...One hears a lot about 'Unconditional Love'. The dictionary defines unconditional as 'absolute, with no conditions or reservations'. Not 'I love you, but...'. Simply "I love you, with no strings attached". Do you love yourself and others unconditionally? Do you love and approve of yourself and others even when a 'foul-up' occurs...

Why More Grandparents Are Raising Their Grandchildren

Why More Grandparents Are Raising Their GrandchildrenSunday, Sept. 10, 2017 is Grandparents Day. Many grandparents will receive loving cards, calls and emails from their grandchildren. However, so-called “custodial grandparents” have primary responsibility for raising one or more of their grandchildren. 

How Men And Women Really See Each Other

How Men And Women Really See Each OtherI saw two very different shows at the Edinburgh Fringe last week, two shows that dealt with the subject of how men and women talk about each other, in very different formats and with very different levels of success.

Words of Wisdom That Changed My Perception

Words of Wisdom That Changed My PerceptionThe list was one I never thought I would make. I stared at the book titles I had jotted down for reference; each of them looked at divorce from a different angle. I felt I was at the end of my rope as I drifted farther and farther away from any hope of restoring the unity we...

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