How Friendships Can Push Teens To Delinquency

How Friendships Can Push Teens To DelinquencyThe friends that adolescents select, the influence they have on each other, and gender may all play a role in establishing friendships that can help, or possibly hurt, teens, according to new research.

Gone But Never Forgotten: How To Comfort A Child Whose Sibling Has Died

Gone But Never Forgotten: How To Comfort A Child Whose Sibling Has Died

In 1971, when I was four years old, my brother died of a congenital heart condition. Writing about this experience has prompted more responses than anything else I’ve ever written or spoken about. Untold and unheard stories appear in comments sections, strangers tell me cross-culturally consistent tales in the soft corners of conference rooms and speak about the siblings they’ve lost and how present the memories of them still are in their minds and hearts.

Want To Prevent Sexual Harassment And Assault?

Want To Prevent Sexual Harassment And Assault?

In the wake of sexual assault and harassment allegations involving Brett Kavanaugh, Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly and others, Americans may be learning just how prevalent sexual violence is in our society. So, what can be done to prevent it?

How To Gently Get Your Child To Brush Their Teeth

How To Gently Get Your Child To Brush Their Teeth
For most parents, the phrase “I don’t want to brush my teeth” is rather familiar. While it may seem easiest to pry their mouth open and force them to brush, research suggests there are better ways that may positively influence children’s future dental health.

Why The Sexual Objectification Of Men Isn't Just A Bit Of Fun

Why The Sexual Objectification Of Men Isn't Just A Bit Of FunThe idea that advertising, entertainment and news media are guilty of objectifying women is familiar enough to most of us. But recently the balance seems to have shifted, with concerns being expressed about the potential objectification of male actors in drama series such as Bodyguard and Poldark.

Does Being A Parent Make You More Conservative?

Does Being A Parent Make You More Conservative?
Parents may display more conservative attitudes, according to new research. Parental advice like “Look both ways before you cross the street,” or “Don’t run with scissors,” can be considered examples of a certain perspective that portrays the world as a dangerous place—a perspective parents might use to instill caution in their children.

How Often Do People Forget Things About One Another?

 How Often Do People Forget Things About One Another?

A new acquaintance needs to be reminded of your name while you are having a conversation. A colleague forgets your plan to meet for coffee and schedules a conflicting meeting. A friend books a table for the two of you at a restaurant but it slips her mind that you don’t like sushi.

How To Know If You Should Trust Your Boss? Your Lover?

How To Know If You Should You Trust Your Boss? Your Lover?

One of the topics most frequently discussed “at the water-cooler” is how much we may, or may not, trust people — from employers and managers to co-workers, friends and lovers.

Trust, of course, is vital for individual relationships and for organizational effectiveness — within universities and businesses alike. It creates an atmosphere where work is well-managed. It smooths the way, serving as a lubricant for an effective — and efficient — work environment.

These Words Make Kids More Helpful And Persistent

These Words Make Kids More Helpful And PersistentEncouraging children “to help,” rather than asking them to “be helpers,” can instill persistence as they work to fulfill daily tasks that are difficult to complete, according to a new study.

The Art of Speaking Up and Taking Charge of Your Life

The Art of Speaking Up and Taking Charge of Your Life
Both men and women have to learn to speak up in order to take charge of their lives and cultivate meaningful relationships! This applies to school, work, business, family, and social events. As scary as it can seem at first, I guarantee that speaking up will bring copious rewards and breakthrough moments.

How To Teach Kids Where Food Comes From

How To Teach Kids Where Food Comes FromSurvey the shelves of most supermarkets and you’ll no doubt be confronted with row upon row of food designed to appeal to children. Be it chicken nuggets or turkey twizzlers – many foods now bear little resemblance to their original ingredients – “junk foods” now line the supermarket shelves to appeal to young consumers.

Healing The Pain That Won't Go Away

Healing The Pain That Won't Go AwaySelf-mutilation is a big problem facing teens today. This affliction is the result of fear instilled by trauma. It is as though the brain contains a computer chip, which has been programmed, because of trauma, to self-mutilate. It is a mental trap that has taken innumerable young people hostage...

The Secret To A Happy Marriage

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Between 2005 and 2010, one in ten married couples in Indonesia got divorced, according to data from the Supreme Court. In 70% of the cases, the wife initiated the divorce. The trend has only increased since then, rising by 80% between 2010 and 2015.

5 Math Skills Your Child Needs To Get Ready For Kindergarten

5 Math Skills Your Child Needs To Get Ready For Kindergarten

Parents play a critical role in their children’s early math education. They not only can provide math-related toys and games, but serve as role models demonstrating how math is used in everyday activities.

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?
The image of the partner who is most attractive to you is buried deep within your unconscious mind. You began sketching this picture soon after your birth and before you were a teenager the composite was nearly complete. Your Imago has a dominant influence over the type of partner you seek, the way you relate to him, and how happy you will be together. The relationship script you wrote as a child is based on both the Imago you created and the childhood wounds you suffered.

Can You Tell Fact From Fiction In The News?

Can You Tell Fact From Fiction In The News?Have you clicked through to this article from your news feed? Are you checking it on your phone? More of us are consuming news online, and increasingly we’re turning to social media for news. Social media platforms are now the main source of news for Australians aged 18 to 24.

How To Find The Right Words To Talk About Pregnancy Loss

How To Find The Right Words To Talk About Pregnancy LossPregnancy loss can be an isolating experience for women and their families. The grief experienced may be intense, but the feelings of the bereaved may not be recognised – even by close friends and relatives – because pregnancy loss is not widely discussed. But why do so many people struggle to find the right words of comfort for a family member?

Acceptance Is The Magic That Makes Change Possible

Accept and Validate: Acceptance Is The Magic That Makes Change Possible
Acceptance is the hallmark of many Eastern teachings. The opposite of acceptance and validation is judgment and denial, which make us tense up, lose our center, criticize ourselves and others, and hold impossible standards for everyone. When we are being judgmental, we invalidate ourselves and others.

How Light and Life Always Guide Us Home

How Light and Life Always Guide Us Home
When I moved into a rented cottage on Maui, Hawaii, some years ago, I found a little Russian Blue cat with gray fur and yellow eyes sitting on the porch staring at me. I learned that she was feral and that my neighbor Koa called her Pepper, and that she came by around the same time every day.

How To Love Craft Your Relationships For Health And Happiness

How To Love Craft Your Relationships For Health And Happiness

You know how to find happiness: Just meet Prince Charming (or Cinderella), overcome all obstacles, get married. The end. Sure, we kind of know real life doesn’t work like that. And yet this “romantic” story remains right up there on its cultural pedestal. We measure ourselves against it when we “fail.”

Exploring The Silence and Doing Nothing, A Little Bit at a Time

Exploring The Silence and Doing Nothing, A Little Bit at a Time
A critical step in the embrace of silence and solitude is setting aside the notion that we have to be "doing something" throughout our waking hours. For most of us, this goes against what we have been taught since childhood...

Does Perfect Love Exist?

Does Perfect Love Exist?Most of us long for relationships in which we are loved and accepted just the way we are. Our hearts' desire is to give and receive love in relationships that make us feel that even if others disagree with what we do or say, they still love us. They accept us.

How Will My Divorce Affect My Kids?

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Most children adjust well to parental separation and divorce, at least in the long term. A minority of children of separated parents have long-term problems, which can affect them through their childhood and into adult life. But it’s conflict between separated parents, and not the separation itself, which accounts for many of the problems children of separated parents experience.

How To Create A Happy and Productive Tomorrow

Our Choices Carve Another Aspect of Our Future
Each of us has the opportunity to accept and welcome the gift of living fully in the present. When we awaken to the eternal here and now, we feel alive, mobilized, our senses quickened. Each moment fully experienced becomes an integral part of the sculpting of our future. As we live today, we create our tomorrows.

Babies Need More Than Tummy Time To Strengthen Necks And Prevent Flat Heads

Babies Need More Than Tummy Time To Strengthen Necks And Prevent Flat HeadsSupervised, awake tummy time is recommended to facilitate a baby’s development and minimise flat head syndrome. But some babies don’t like tummy time, and will kick up an almighty fuss to let you know. Luckily, tummy time is not all you can do to get your baby moving.

How Extreme Stress In Childhood Is Toxic To Your DNA

How Extreme Stress In Childhood Is Toxic To Your DNA

The real danger of separating children from parents is not the psychological stress – it’s the biological time bomb.. The screaming and crying, the anguish and desolation is gut-wrenching. But the fallout pales in comparison to the less visible long-term effects that are more sinister and dangerous.

Sacred Speech and Silence: From the Heart and to the Soul

Sacred Speech and Silence: From the Heart and to the Soul
We spend much of our time talking about trivial matters and practical ones -- the weather, plans for the day, routine office events, frivolous gossip, the next technological miracle, etc. So little of our conversation addresses our passions, loves, emotions, dreams, or our creative insights...

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?
For a lecture course I teach at Brown University called “Love Stories,” we begin at the beginning, with love at first sight. To its detractors, love at first sight must be an illusion – the wrong term for what is simply infatuation, or a way to sugarcoat lust. Buy into it, they say, and you’re a fool.

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse
It’s been said that whatever brings us to face the essential truth of our lives may be called “grace.” Frequently, grace assumes a form that feels more like a curse than a blessing. It can be a life-threatening illness, the loss of a family member, being fired from a job, the kids leaving home (or coming back), divorce, a serious accident, or any number of possible crises that can be encountered in one’s life.

The Two Important Components of a Successful Relationship

The Two Parts of a Successful Relationship
A successful relationship has two very important components: learning to love yourself first, and then learning to love another person. Too many people ignore the first part, then wonder why it’s so hard to love another. It’s like expecting to water a plant with an empty water pitcher. Or trying to put on your child’s oxygen mask when the airplane cabin pressure drops, but passing out from lack of oxygen before you can get it on.

Children’s Well-being Goes Hand In Hand With Their Dads’ Mental Health

Children’s Well-being Goes Hand In Hand With Their Dads’ Mental Health

We know from new research that children whose mothers are depressed may respond differently to stress, have altered immunity and be at greater risk of psychological disorders. This work adds to the body of research showing children can be affected in negative and long-term ways by their mothers’ mental ill-health.

What Type Of Relationship Should I Have With My Co-parent Now We're Divorced?

What Type Of Relationship Should I Have With My Co-parent Now We're Divorced?
When talking about separation and divorce, media and personal stories often focus on relationships characterised by ongoing conflict or violence. In contrast, Australian research suggests low conflict or cooperative post-separation relationships are common. These are negotiated in contexts that require what British sociologist Carol Smart described as an “indelible” joint-parenting contract.

Children Of Divorce Are Less Likely To Earn College Degrees

Children Of Divorce Are Less Likely To Earn College Degrees
Children of divorce are less likely to earn a four-year or graduate degree, according to a new study. The study is one of the first to look specifically at divorce and graduate education. Susan Stewart, professor of sociology at Iowa State University, says it is important to understand this relationship as more jobs require a graduate or professional degree.

How To Get Children To Eat A Rainbow Of Fruit And Vegetables

How To Get Children To Eat A Rainbow Of Fruit And Vegetables

Worldwide, people are not eating enough fruit and vegetables. In Australia, less than 4% of us meet the Australian Dietary Guideline recommendations for vegetables by age group. Worryingly, children and teenagers are even less likely than adults to be eating enough vegetables.

Less than 1% of kids aged two to three are eating the recommended 2.5 serves of vegetables and legumes a day. Between ages four to eight, 0% of kids are meeting their minimum 4.5 serves of vegetables per day. Most children up to 13 are eating two or fewer serves per day when the aim is closer to five serves.

How To Tell Your Children You're Getting Divorced

How To Tell Your Children You're Getting Divorced

While some kids may be lucky enough to skate through their parents’ separation relatively unscathed, the majority are going to suffer at least some short term, if not longer term distress. As an adult, you’ve likely forgotten just how central your family was to your sense of stability and even identity. Children have yet to develop autonomy, independence or a secure sense of self; instead, their entire frame of reference is strongly centred around their family. When that framework is broken, their world can feel as though it has fallen apart.

How On And Off Relationships Take A Toll On Mental Health

How On And Off Relationships Takes A Toll On Mental Health

A pattern of breaking up and getting back together can be bad for your mental health, according to a new study. While on-and-off-again couples like Sam and Diane from Cheers or Ross and Rachel from Friends may keep audiences watching, Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at the University of Missouri, suggests people in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about stabilizing or safely terminating their relationships.

How Stress In Utero Harms Cognitive Skills Of Children

How Stress In Utero Harms Cognitive Skills Of ChildrenExposure to an acute stress in utero can have long-term consequences extending into childhood—but only among children in poor households, according to a new study. The study, which took place in Chile, did not find the same effect among children in upper- or middle-class families.

The Hidden Agenda Of School Dress Codes

The Hidden Agenda Of School Dress Codes

Dress code policies have always been prevalent in schools. Normally, what children can and cannot wear in schools is explicitly noted in school policies or implicitly implied by broader cultural and societal norms. The issue of the vast and sometimes exhaustive list of dress code policies of what cannot be worn has not had any resolution across localities and countries.

6 Things You Should Do When Reading With Your Kids

6 Things You Should Do When Reading With Your Kids

There is magic in stories. We all remember hearing them as children, and we loved them. Imaginary adventures set in faraway places. Tales about how the dishwasher isn’t working. It doesn’t matter! Whether made up by parents or read from books, kids love to hear stories. Our recent work showed reading to children positively impacts long term academic achievement more than many other activity (including playing music with them, or doing craft).

Should You Sometimes Be Bad For Another’s Good?

Should You Sometimes Be Bad For Another’s Good?Imagine that someone you care about is procrastinating in advance of a vital exam. If he fails the test, he will not be able to go to university, an eventuality of major consequence in his life. If positive encouragement doesn’t work, you might reverse strategy, making your friend feel so bad, so worried, so scared, that the only strategy left is that he starts studying like mad.

What Are You Telling Yourself About Who You Are?

What Are You Telling Yourself About Who You Are?
We have all gone through life saying certain things about ourselves, such as: I'm a shy person, or I'm intelligent, or I'm stupid, or I'm clumsy, or I'm slow, etc. Once we understand the power of the word and of the mind, we come to the realization that all of these statements were simply creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

Are Midlife Sex Problems More Common Than You Think?

Are Midlife Sex Problems Are More Common Than You Think?

The most common sexual problem is low desire, according to a research study we recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Around 40 per cent of the women we asked, and 30 per cent of men, reported experiencing problems with low desire during the last six months.

Negative Love: Repeating Parental Behaviors

Negative Love: Repeating Parental Behaviors
One emotion holding many of us back is negative love: our tendency to repeat the behaviors we used to win our parents’ love, and to repeat our parents’ attitudes, behaviors, and treatment of us. Generation after generation pass on the same type of negative love...

How to Grow the Love In Your Relationships

How to Grow the Love In Your Relationships
A relationship is something to appreciate. A relationship allows you to share experiences. It lets you see yourself through someone else's eyes, and if that can be annoying at times, it is also a wonderful opportunity for self-awareness and growth...

What Makes A Good Friend?

What Makes A Good Friend?

Good friendships seem worth celebrating. But for many of us, tensions can appear from time to time between being a good friend and doing “the right thing.”

This Trait Can Tell You Who’s Really Trustworthy

This Trait Can Tell You Who’s Really TrustworthyWhen it comes to predicting who is most likely to act in a trustworthy manner, one of the most important factors is the anticipation of guilt, according to a new study.

Why Parents Should Use Caution When Pushing A Picky Eater

Why Parents Should Use Caution When Pushing A Picky Eater
Using coercion to get your kid to eat healthy foods doesn’t really have effect, good or bad, on their weight. But it can cause meal-time tension and damage the parent-child relationship, a new study suggests.

How Your Social Network Could Save You From A Disaster

How Your Social Network Could Save You From A Disaster
In early November 2017, Brooks Fisher’s neighbor in Sonoma, California, pounded on his door at 2 a.m., rang the doorbell and shouted, “There’s a fire coming and you need to get out now! I can hear trees exploding!”

How Decriminalizing Pot Benefits Young People

How Decriminalizing Pot Benefits Young PeopleIn five states that decriminalized marijuana between 2007 and 2015, there was no corresponding rise in the drug’s use among young people, a new analysis shows.

Play Games With Your Kids This Summer To Boost Their Brains

Play Games With Your Kids This Summer To Boost Their Brains
Research shows that playing games can enhance our personal, social and emotional well-being, as well as our mental acuity. Many board games strengthen the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex of the brains of players.

How Culture Influences Children's Development

How Culture Influences Children's Development
From educational toys to governmental guidelines and detailed nursery progress reports, there are lots of resources available to help parents track and facilitate their children’s development.

Alone Again, Naturally: Mastering the Art of Flying Solo

Alone Again, Naturally: Mastering the Art of Flying Solo
Our fear of aloneness is so ingrained that given the choice of being by ourselves or being with others we opt for safety in numbers, even at the expense of lingering in painful, boring, or totally unredeeming company. While many have their solo lifestyles thrust on them -- people die, people go away -- a huge and growing population is choosing to be alone...

Caregiving -- A Gift That Can Heal Relationships

Caregiving --  A Gift That Can Heal Relationships
People have told me many stories of difficult mother-daughter relationships that healed through caregiving. Their stories have given me the gift of healing. Forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and love grow through empathy for and understanding of the experiences of others...

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship
Quite often, I spend time with people who are extremely critical of themselves for having multiple failed relationships. The truth is, they're missing the point: We can't fail, because there's no way to do these things wrong. A failed relationship, if you put it into its proper context, is a chance to...

How To Know If An Online Discussion Is Going To Get Nasty

How To Know If An Online Discussion Is Going To Get Nasty
Researchers have created a model to predict which civil online conversations might take a turn and derail. After analyzing hundreds of exchanges between Wikipedia editors, the researchers developed a computer program that scans for warning signs in participants’ language at the start of a conversation...

Why The Right Age To Start School Varies For Each Child

Why The Right Age To Start School Varies For Each Child
It’s that time of year again, when the noticeboard outside your local primary school is likely to read “Enrol your child for kindergarten/prep now”. But how do you know what the “right” age to start school is?

How Can We Build A Better World -- One Person at a Time?

How Can We Build A Better World -- One Person at a Time?
We look around at the world's problems and wish they would go away, but they stubbornly persist despite our most heartfelt desires. So we end up living in a kind of ethical haze. It seems that everything and everyone is for sale. Nothing remains sacred.

Get Your Future Back by Becoming a Hope-filled Optimist

Get Your Future Back by Becoming a Hope-filled Optimist
Nobody wants to feel hopeless. There are some who attach themselves to it because they know nothing else. Even people who are suicidal don't want death as much as they want the pain to stop.

How's Your Inner Garden and Your Inner Rose?

It's Springtime and The Time of Rebirth: How's Your Inner Garden?
Our subconscious is a truly wonderful partner. It finds many ways to communicate with us. The other morning, I found myself humming "Slow down, you're going too fast..." Now, that was a clear message. Have you ever paid attention to the songs that you find yourself humming, or whistling?

Why Do Kids Lie, And Is It Normal?

Why Do Kids Lie, And Is It Normal?
Children typically begin lying in the preschool years, between two and four years of age. These intentional attempts at deception may worry parents, who fear their child will become a pint-sized social deviant.

Removing Abandonment Masks and Ego Projections

Removing Abandonment Masks and Ego Projections
A consciousness of abandonment may begin in early childhood with the death or divorce of a parent, the father taking a job in another town and seldom seeing the child, or perhaps feeling lost in a large family of brothers and sisters and not receiving enough attention. Other factors to consider...

How Technology Is Changing Sex

How Technology Is Changing SexAs the TV series Westworld wraps up its second season, the show continues to spark discussion about a potential future that involves lifelike sex robots.

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men
The old cliché tells us the most desirable men are “tall, dark, and handsome” – and scientific research confirms that heterosexual women tend to prefer partners who are taller than them.

Business for Lovers and Authentic Communicators

Business for Lovers and Authentic Communicators
I invite you to extend your circle of authentic conversations to include not just lovers, but people you encounter in situations that appear to be routine, boring, or mundane. A master teacher told me that one of the secrets of success is to “take whatcha got and make whatcha want.” 

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool
Taking time apart from a loved one is often thought of as the end of the relationship. But after 53 years together, and helping to guide thousands of couples, Joyce and I view separation as a sometimes vital necessity in a relationship...

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love
Some couples seem blessed with everlasting love. Then, there’s the rest of us—who start running into trouble once the honeymoon is over. We encounter differences, disagreements, disappointments. Buttons get pushed. And communication breaks down as issues become increasingly hard to resolve.

Extreme Stress During Childhood Can Hurt Social Learning For Years To Come

Extreme Stress During Childhood Can Hurt Social Learning For Years To Come
Each year, more than 6 million children in the United States are referred to Child Protective Services for abuse or neglect. Previous research on the consequences of early life stress and child maltreatment shows that these children will be more likely to develop a multitude of social and mental health problems.

The Drugs Students Are Taking And Why

The Drugs Students Are Taking And Why
With all the freedoms independent living entails, it’s maybe not surprising then that drug use tends to be much higher among students than the general population.

Why Our Brains See The World As "Us Versus Them"

Why Our Brains See The World As "Us Versus Them"
Anti-immigrant policies, race-related demonstrations, Title IX disputes, affirmative action court cases, same-sex marriage litigation. These issues are continually in the headlines. But even thoughtful articles on these subjects seem always to devolve to pitting warring factions against each other: black versus white, women versus men, gay versus straight.

Aloneness and Relationships: Accepting Life In All Its Dimensions

Aloneness and Relationships: Accepting Life In All Its Dimensions
It is beautiful to be alone, it is also beautiful to be in love, to be with people. And they are complementary, not contradictory. When you are enjoying others, enjoy, and enjoy to the full; there is no need to bother about aloneness. And when you are fed up with others, then move into aloneness and enjoy it to the full.

Why Certainty Is Good For Romance

Why Certainty Is Good For RomanceUncertainty about a potential romantic partner’s interest in you may lead you to see the person as less sexually attractive, according to a new study.

How You Can Take Your Power Back After You've Given It Away

Take Your Power Back
We have all given our power away to something -- many things -- and our lives have sucked for it. We have bestowed undue power to lovers, money, bosses, addictive substances, fame, etc. You give your power away when you make someone or something outside of you more important than what is inside of you.

How Long Term Separation From Parents Harms Kids

Why Long Term Separation From Parents Harms Kids
As a society, we often wax eloquent about how important it is to nurture, support and protect our children. The sad reality, however, is that all too often major, life-changing decisions are made without any consideration of their potential lifelong and devastating impact on kids.

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