The friends that adolescents select, the influence they have on each other, and gender may all play a role in establishing friendships that can help, or possibly hurt, teens, according to new research.
In 1971, when I was four years old, my brother died of a congenital heart condition. Writing about this experience has prompted more responses than anything else I’ve ever written or spoken about. Untold and unheard stories appear in comments sections, strangers tell me cross-culturally consistent tales in the soft corners of conference rooms and speak about the siblings they’ve lost and how present the memories of them still are in their minds and hearts.
In the wake of sexual assault and harassment allegations involving Brett Kavanaugh, Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly and others, Americans may be learning just how prevalent sexual violence is in our society. So, what can be done to prevent it?
For most parents, the phrase “I don’t want to brush my teeth” is rather familiar. While it may seem easiest to pry their mouth open and force them to brush, research suggests there are better ways that may positively influence children’s future dental health.
The idea that advertising, entertainment and news media are guilty of objectifying women is familiar enough to most of us. But recently the balance seems to have shifted, with concerns being expressed about the potential objectification of male actors in drama series such as Bodyguard and Poldark.
Parents may display more conservative attitudes, according to new research. Parental advice like “Look both ways before you cross the street,” or “Don’t run with scissors,” can be considered examples of a certain perspective that portrays the world as a dangerous place—a perspective parents might use to instill caution in their children.
If a man offers to help a woman with her heavy suitcase or to parallel park her car, what should she make of the offer? Is it an innocuous act of courtesy? Or is it a sexist insult to her strength and competence?
A new acquaintance needs to be reminded of your name while you are having a conversation. A colleague forgets your plan to meet for coffee and schedules a conflicting meeting. A friend books a table for the two of you at a restaurant but it slips her mind that you don’t like sushi.
One of the topics most frequently discussed “at the water-cooler” is how much we may, or may not, trust people — from employers and managers to co-workers, friends and lovers.
Trust, of course, is vital for individual relationships and for organizational effectiveness — within universities and businesses alike. It creates an atmosphere where work is well-managed. It smooths the way, serving as a lubricant for an effective — and efficient — work environment.
Encouraging children “to help,” rather than asking them to “be helpers,” can instill persistence as they work to fulfill daily tasks that are difficult to complete, according to a new study.
Attaining Enlightenment Through Relationship: Relationships Are Difficult And Challenging Spiritual Practices
Everything we do in life is a relationship. We have a relationship with money, with our body, and with our car. We have a relationship with everything! Relationships are difficult and challenging spiritual practices. They give us the opportunity to test our skills of communication, intimacy, authenticity, and integrity.
Both men and women have to learn to speak up in order to take charge of their lives and cultivate meaningful relationships! This applies to school, work, business, family, and social events. As scary as it can seem at first, I guarantee that speaking up will bring copious rewards and breakthrough moments.
Survey the shelves of most supermarkets and you’ll no doubt be confronted with row upon row of food designed to appeal to children. Be it chicken nuggets or turkey twizzlers – many foods now bear little resemblance to their original ingredients – “junk foods” now line the supermarket shelves to appeal to young consumers.
Self-mutilation is a big problem facing teens today. This affliction is the result of fear instilled by trauma. It is as though the brain contains a computer chip, which has been programmed, because of trauma, to self-mutilate. It is a mental trap that has taken innumerable young people hostage...
Between 2005 and 2010, one in ten married couples in Indonesia got divorced, according to data from the Supreme Court. In 70% of the cases, the wife initiated the divorce. The trend has only increased since then, rising by 80% between 2010 and 2015.
A new model could help make college students working together in teams feel more included, according to a new paper.
Parents play a critical role in their children’s early math education. They not only can provide math-related toys and games, but serve as role models demonstrating how math is used in everyday activities.
We can only trace romantic love back to about a thousand years ago. Prior to that, there wasn't any romantic love. It's an idea that has been invented, like a philosophy or a religion. It has been made very special.
The image of the partner who is most attractive to you is buried deep within your unconscious mind. You began sketching this picture soon after your birth and before you were a teenager the composite was nearly complete. Your Imago has a dominant influence over the type of partner you seek, the way you relate to him, and how happy you will be together. The relationship script you wrote as a child is based on both the Imago you created and the childhood wounds you suffered.
When schools suspend kindergartners and first-graders, some find it a challenge to turn things around in their academic life, a new study shows.
Have you clicked through to this article from your news feed? Are you checking it on your phone? More of us are consuming news online, and increasingly we’re turning to social media for news. Social media platforms are now the main source of news for Australians aged 18 to 24.
Pregnancy loss can be an isolating experience for women and their families. The grief experienced may be intense, but the feelings of the bereaved may not be recognised – even by close friends and relatives – because pregnancy loss is not widely discussed. But why do so many people struggle to find the right words of comfort for a family member?
Acceptance is the hallmark of many Eastern teachings. The opposite of acceptance and validation is judgment and denial, which make us tense up, lose our center, criticize ourselves and others, and hold impossible standards for everyone. When we are being judgmental, we invalidate ourselves and others.
When I moved into a rented cottage on Maui, Hawaii, some years ago, I found a little Russian Blue cat with gray fur and yellow eyes sitting on the porch staring at me. I learned that she was feral and that my neighbor Koa called her Pepper, and that she came by around the same time every day.
You know how to find happiness: Just meet Prince Charming (or Cinderella), overcome all obstacles, get married. The end. Sure, we kind of know real life doesn’t work like that. And yet this “romantic” story remains right up there on its cultural pedestal. We measure ourselves against it when we “fail.”
A critical step in the embrace of silence and solitude is setting aside the notion that we have to be "doing something" throughout our waking hours. For most of us, this goes against what we have been taught since childhood...
Most of us long for relationships in which we are loved and accepted just the way we are. Our hearts' desire is to give and receive love in relationships that make us feel that even if others disagree with what we do or say, they still love us. They accept us.
Many of our "life lessons" come to us through what we might usually call a "negative" experience, or possibly a "negative" person in our life. However, the addition of the term negative to any person or situation is simply a perception, or a judgment, on our part.
Most children adjust well to parental separation and divorce, at least in the long term. A minority of children of separated parents have long-term problems, which can affect them through their childhood and into adult life. But it’s conflict between separated parents, and not the separation itself, which accounts for many of the problems children of separated parents experience.
Each of us has the opportunity to accept and welcome the gift of living fully in the present. When we awaken to the eternal here and now, we feel alive, mobilized, our senses quickened. Each moment fully experienced becomes an integral part of the sculpting of our future. As we live today, we create our tomorrows.
Supervised, awake tummy time is recommended to facilitate a baby’s development and minimise flat head syndrome. But some babies don’t like tummy time, and will kick up an almighty fuss to let you know. Luckily, tummy time is not all you can do to get your baby moving.
The real danger of separating children from parents is not the psychological stress – it’s the biological time bomb.. The screaming and crying, the anguish and desolation is gut-wrenching. But the fallout pales in comparison to the less visible long-term effects that are more sinister and dangerous.
We spend much of our time talking about trivial matters and practical ones -- the weather, plans for the day, routine office events, frivolous gossip, the next technological miracle, etc. So little of our conversation addresses our passions, loves, emotions, dreams, or our creative insights...
For a lecture course I teach at Brown University called “Love Stories,” we begin at the beginning, with love at first sight. To its detractors, love at first sight must be an illusion – the wrong term for what is simply infatuation, or a way to sugarcoat lust. Buy into it, they say, and you’re a fool.
It’s been said that whatever brings us to face the essential truth of our lives may be called “grace.” Frequently, grace assumes a form that feels more like a curse than a blessing. It can be a life-threatening illness, the loss of a family member, being fired from a job, the kids leaving home (or coming back), divorce, a serious accident, or any number of possible crises that can be encountered in one’s life.
A successful relationship has two very important components: learning to love yourself first, and then learning to love another person. Too many people ignore the first part, then wonder why it’s so hard to love another. It’s like expecting to water a plant with an empty water pitcher. Or trying to put on your child’s oxygen mask when the airplane cabin pressure drops, but passing out from lack of oxygen before you can get it on.
We know from new research that children whose mothers are depressed may respond differently to stress, have altered immunity and be at greater risk of psychological disorders. This work adds to the body of research showing children can be affected in negative and long-term ways by their mothers’ mental ill-health.
When talking about separation and divorce, media and personal stories often focus on relationships characterised by ongoing conflict or violence. In contrast, Australian research suggests low conflict or cooperative post-separation relationships are common. These are negotiated in contexts that require what British sociologist Carol Smart described as an “indelible” joint-parenting contract.
Children of divorce are less likely to earn a four-year or graduate degree, according to a new study. The study is one of the first to look specifically at divorce and graduate education. Susan Stewart, professor of sociology at Iowa State University, says it is important to understand this relationship as more jobs require a graduate or professional degree.
Worldwide, people are not eating enough fruit and vegetables. In Australia, less than 4% of us meet the Australian Dietary Guideline recommendations for vegetables by age group. Worryingly, children and teenagers are even less likely than adults to be eating enough vegetables.
Less than 1% of kids aged two to three are eating the recommended 2.5 serves of vegetables and legumes a day. Between ages four to eight, 0% of kids are meeting their minimum 4.5 serves of vegetables per day. Most children up to 13 are eating two or fewer serves per day when the aim is closer to five serves.
While some kids may be lucky enough to skate through their parents’ separation relatively unscathed, the majority are going to suffer at least some short term, if not longer term distress. As an adult, you’ve likely forgotten just how central your family was to your sense of stability and even identity. Children have yet to develop autonomy, independence or a secure sense of self; instead, their entire frame of reference is strongly centred around their family. When that framework is broken, their world can feel as though it has fallen apart.
A pattern of breaking up and getting back together can be bad for your mental health, according to a new study. While on-and-off-again couples like Sam and Diane from Cheers or Ross and Rachel from Friends may keep audiences watching, Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at the University of Missouri, suggests people in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about stabilizing or safely terminating their relationships.
Exposure to an acute stress in utero can have long-term consequences extending into childhood—but only among children in poor households, according to a new study. The study, which took place in Chile, did not find the same effect among children in upper- or middle-class families.
Dress code policies have always been prevalent in schools. Normally, what children can and cannot wear in schools is explicitly noted in school policies or implicitly implied by broader cultural and societal norms. The issue of the vast and sometimes exhaustive list of dress code policies of what cannot be worn has not had any resolution across localities and countries.
There is magic in stories. We all remember hearing them as children, and we loved them. Imaginary adventures set in faraway places. Tales about how the dishwasher isn’t working. It doesn’t matter! Whether made up by parents or read from books, kids love to hear stories. Our recent work showed reading to children positively impacts long term academic achievement more than many other activity (including playing music with them, or doing craft).
Imagine that someone you care about is procrastinating in advance of a vital exam. If he fails the test, he will not be able to go to university, an eventuality of major consequence in his life. If positive encouragement doesn’t work, you might reverse strategy, making your friend feel so bad, so worried, so scared, that the only strategy left is that he starts studying like mad.
We have all gone through life saying certain things about ourselves, such as: I'm a shy person, or I'm intelligent, or I'm stupid, or I'm clumsy, or I'm slow, etc. Once we understand the power of the word and of the mind, we come to the realization that all of these statements were simply creating self-fulfilling prophecies.
The most common sexual problem is low desire, according to a research study we recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Around 40 per cent of the women we asked, and 30 per cent of men, reported experiencing problems with low desire during the last six months.
Up to two-thirds of students experience ‘ninth grade shock,’ which can affect everything from grades to mental health.
One emotion holding many of us back is negative love: our tendency to repeat the behaviors we used to win our parents’ love, and to repeat our parents’ attitudes, behaviors, and treatment of us. Generation after generation pass on the same type of negative love...
A grey divorce is simply a divorce that occurs at or after the age of 50. Even though the divorce rate across all age groups has stabilised, the number of grey divorces in the United States has recently dramatically increased.
A relationship is something to appreciate. A relationship allows you to share experiences. It lets you see yourself through someone else's eyes, and if that can be annoying at times, it is also a wonderful opportunity for self-awareness and growth...
Research shows we think young people have a lot more sex than they do in reality – and men have a particularly skewed view of the sex lives of young women.
The majority of people who are online dating seek out partners who are more desirable than themselves, new research suggests.
What dads do online helps them navigate gender roles as society changes.
When people think of women freezing their eggs, it’s often seen as something to do if you want to get ahead in your career – a way of delaying motherhood.
Childhood bullying is so common that it may not seem like a big deal. Up to 35% per cent of people are estimated to have experienced it at some point.
Good friendships seem worth celebrating. But for many of us, tensions can appear from time to time between being a good friend and doing “the right thing.”
When it comes to predicting who is most likely to act in a trustworthy manner, one of the most important factors is the anticipation of guilt, according to a new study.
During August football practice, every coach’s favorite cheer will be to “stay hydrated” and “keep urine clear” during the summer heat.
Using coercion to get your kid to eat healthy foods doesn’t really have effect, good or bad, on their weight. But it can cause meal-time tension and damage the parent-child relationship, a new study suggests.
John Bradshaw underscores the importance of family connection. He emphasizes acceptance and "loving your own crooked family with your own crooked heart." Just as Mormons celebrate Mondays as Family at Home Night, we can rethink some of our commitments and create time for what's truly important.
In early November 2017, Brooks Fisher’s neighbor in Sonoma, California, pounded on his door at 2 a.m., rang the doorbell and shouted, “There’s a fire coming and you need to get out now! I can hear trees exploding!”
The physical benefits of getting kids moving have been well recognised to help prevent chronic disease and develop movement habits across their lifespan.
In five states that decriminalized marijuana between 2007 and 2015, there was no corresponding rise in the drug’s use among young people, a new analysis shows.
Research shows that playing games can enhance our personal, social and emotional well-being, as well as our mental acuity. Many board games strengthen the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex of the brains of players.
From educational toys to governmental guidelines and detailed nursery progress reports, there are lots of resources available to help parents track and facilitate their children’s development.
Our fear of aloneness is so ingrained that given the choice of being by ourselves or being with others we opt for safety in numbers, even at the expense of lingering in painful, boring, or totally unredeeming company. While many have their solo lifestyles thrust on them -- people die, people go away -- a huge and growing population is choosing to be alone...
People have told me many stories of difficult mother-daughter relationships that healed through caregiving. Their stories have given me the gift of healing. Forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and love grow through empathy for and understanding of the experiences of others...
In recent years, there has been a concerted effort to protect children from failure in order to safeguard their fragile self-esteem.
‘The world has always belonged to males,’ wrote Simone de Beauvoir in The Second Sex (1949), ‘and none of the reasons given for this have ever seemed sufficient.’
Quite often, I spend time with people who are extremely critical of themselves for having multiple failed relationships. The truth is, they're missing the point: We can't fail, because there's no way to do these things wrong. A failed relationship, if you put it into its proper context, is a chance to...
Researchers have created a model to predict which civil online conversations might take a turn and derail. After analyzing hundreds of exchanges between Wikipedia editors, the researchers developed a computer program that scans for warning signs in participants’ language at the start of a conversation...
It’s that time of year again, when the noticeboard outside your local primary school is likely to read “Enrol your child for kindergarten/prep now”. But how do you know what the “right” age to start school is?
We look around at the world's problems and wish they would go away, but they stubbornly persist despite our most heartfelt desires. So we end up living in a kind of ethical haze. It seems that everything and everyone is for sale. Nothing remains sacred.
Nobody wants to feel hopeless. There are some who attach themselves to it because they know nothing else. Even people who are suicidal don't want death as much as they want the pain to stop.
Strong sibling bonds can offset the negative effects of parental strife, according to a new study.
Our subconscious is a truly wonderful partner. It finds many ways to communicate with us. The other morning, I found myself humming "Slow down, you're going too fast..." Now, that was a clear message. Have you ever paid attention to the songs that you find yourself humming, or whistling?
In 1906, the young Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung received a collection of essays from none other than the founder of psychoanalysis himself, Sigmund Freud.
Children typically begin lying in the preschool years, between two and four years of age. These intentional attempts at deception may worry parents, who fear their child will become a pint-sized social deviant.
A consciousness of abandonment may begin in early childhood with the death or divorce of a parent, the father taking a job in another town and seldom seeing the child, or perhaps feeling lost in a large family of brothers and sisters and not receiving enough attention. Other factors to consider...
As the TV series Westworld wraps up its second season, the show continues to spark discussion about a potential future that involves lifelike sex robots.
Whenever you get a chance, even if it’s only ten minutes, engage in shared reading activities.
I was raised on “don’t hurt other people’s feelings — be nice.” The concept of setting personal boundaries was foreign to me... How could I tell her she had overstepped her boundaries?
The old cliché tells us the most desirable men are “tall, dark, and handsome” – and scientific research confirms that heterosexual women tend to prefer partners who are taller than them.
I invite you to extend your circle of authentic conversations to include not just lovers, but people you encounter in situations that appear to be routine, boring, or mundane. A master teacher told me that one of the secrets of success is to “take whatcha got and make whatcha want.”
Taking time apart from a loved one is often thought of as the end of the relationship. But after 53 years together, and helping to guide thousands of couples, Joyce and I view separation as a sometimes vital necessity in a relationship...
It was a well-kept secret among historians during the late 19th and early 20th centuries that the practice of magic was widespread in the ancient Mediterranean
Some couples seem blessed with everlasting love. Then, there’s the rest of us—who start running into trouble once the honeymoon is over. We encounter differences, disagreements, disappointments. Buttons get pushed. And communication breaks down as issues become increasingly hard to resolve.
Each year, more than 6 million children in the United States are referred to Child Protective Services for abuse or neglect. Previous research on the consequences of early life stress and child maltreatment shows that these children will be more likely to develop a multitude of social and mental health problems.
With all the freedoms independent living entails, it’s maybe not surprising then that drug use tends to be much higher among students than the general population.
Anti-immigrant policies, race-related demonstrations, Title IX disputes, affirmative action court cases, same-sex marriage litigation. These issues are continually in the headlines. But even thoughtful articles on these subjects seem always to devolve to pitting warring factions against each other: black versus white, women versus men, gay versus straight.
Three out of four pediatricians disapprove of spanking, research finds.
It is beautiful to be alone, it is also beautiful to be in love, to be with people. And they are complementary, not contradictory. When you are enjoying others, enjoy, and enjoy to the full; there is no need to bother about aloneness. And when you are fed up with others, then move into aloneness and enjoy it to the full.
People who are tolerant of ambiguity—a kind of uncertainty in which the odds of an outcome are unknown—are more likely to cooperate with and trust other people, according to new research.
The truth is that my favorite Father’s Day gift this year has been the gift of time.
Uncertainty about a potential romantic partner’s interest in you may lead you to see the person as less sexually attractive, according to a new study.
We have all given our power away to something -- many things -- and our lives have sucked for it. We have bestowed undue power to lovers, money, bosses, addictive substances, fame, etc. You give your power away when you make someone or something outside of you more important than what is inside of you.
As a society, we often wax eloquent about how important it is to nurture, support and protect our children. The sad reality, however, is that all too often major, life-changing decisions are made without any consideration of their potential lifelong and devastating impact on kids.