The Secret To A Happy Marriage

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Between 2005 and 2010, one in ten married couples in Indonesia got divorced, according to data from the Supreme Court. In 70% of the cases, the wife initiated the divorce. The trend has only increased since then, rising by 80% between 2010 and 2015.

5 Math Skills Your Child Needs To Get Ready For Kindergarten

5 Math Skills Your Child Needs To Get Ready For Kindergarten

Parents play a critical role in their children’s early math education. They not only can provide math-related toys and games, but serve as role models demonstrating how math is used in everyday activities.

How To Become a Love Finder Rather Than a Fault Finder

How To Become a Love Finder Rather Than a Fault Finder
Fault finding serves as a means to justify an illusory sense of superiority. To become a love finder requires us to be vigilant and self-realized. Most of us are just regular, ordinary people; therefore, vigilance will be our primary tool for taking note of our blaming and fault finding.

Can You Tell Fact From Fiction In The News?

Can You Tell Fact From Fiction In The News?Have you clicked through to this article from your news feed? Are you checking it on your phone? More of us are consuming news online, and increasingly we’re turning to social media for news. Social media platforms are now the main source of news for Australians aged 18 to 24.

How To Find The Right Words To Talk About Pregnancy Loss

How To Find The Right Words To Talk About Pregnancy LossPregnancy loss can be an isolating experience for women and their families. The grief experienced may be intense, but the feelings of the bereaved may not be recognised – even by close friends and relatives – because pregnancy loss is not widely discussed. But why do so many people struggle to find the right words of comfort for a family member?

How Light and Life Always Guide Us Home

How Light and Life Always Guide Us Home
When I moved into a rented cottage on Maui, Hawaii, some years ago, I found a little Russian Blue cat with gray fur and yellow eyes sitting on the porch staring at me. I learned that she was feral and that my neighbor Koa called her Pepper, and that she came by around the same time every day.

How To Love Craft Your Relationships For Health And Happiness

How To Love Craft Your Relationships For Health And Happiness

You know how to find happiness: Just meet Prince Charming (or Cinderella), overcome all obstacles, get married. The end. Sure, we kind of know real life doesn’t work like that. And yet this “romantic” story remains right up there on its cultural pedestal. We measure ourselves against it when we “fail.”

How Will My Divorce Affect My Kids?

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Most children adjust well to parental separation and divorce, at least in the long term. A minority of children of separated parents have long-term problems, which can affect them through their childhood and into adult life. But it’s conflict between separated parents, and not the separation itself, which accounts for many of the problems children of separated parents experience.

Babies Need More Than Tummy Time To Strengthen Necks And Prevent Flat Heads

Babies Need More Than Tummy Time To Strengthen Necks And Prevent Flat HeadsSupervised, awake tummy time is recommended to facilitate a baby’s development and minimise flat head syndrome. But some babies don’t like tummy time, and will kick up an almighty fuss to let you know. Luckily, tummy time is not all you can do to get your baby moving.

How Extreme Stress In Childhood Is Toxic To Your DNA

How Extreme Stress In Childhood Is Toxic To Your DNA

The real danger of separating children from parents is not the psychological stress – it’s the biological time bomb.. The screaming and crying, the anguish and desolation is gut-wrenching. But the fallout pales in comparison to the less visible long-term effects that are more sinister and dangerous.

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?

How Do You Know If It's Attraction or Lasting Love?
The image of the partner who is most attractive to you is buried deep within your unconscious mind. You began sketching this picture soon after your birth and before you were a teenager the composite was nearly complete. Your Imago has a dominant influence over the type of partner you seek, the way you relate to him, and how happy you will be together. The relationship script you wrote as a child is based on both the Imago you created and the childhood wounds you suffered.

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?

Should We Scoff At The Idea Of Love At First Sight?
For a lecture course I teach at Brown University called “Love Stories,” we begin at the beginning, with love at first sight. To its detractors, love at first sight must be an illusion – the wrong term for what is simply infatuation, or a way to sugarcoat lust. Buy into it, they say, and you’re a fool.

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse

The Winds of Grace Can Sometimes Feel Like A Curse
It’s been said that whatever brings us to face the essential truth of our lives may be called “grace.” Frequently, grace assumes a form that feels more like a curse than a blessing. It can be a life-threatening illness, the loss of a family member, being fired from a job, the kids leaving home (or coming back), divorce, a serious accident, or any number of possible crises that can be encountered in one’s life.

The Two Important Components of a Successful Relationship

The Two Parts of a Successful Relationship
A successful relationship has two very important components: learning to love yourself first, and then learning to love another person. Too many people ignore the first part, then wonder why it’s so hard to love another. It’s like expecting to water a plant with an empty water pitcher. Or trying to put on your child’s oxygen mask when the airplane cabin pressure drops, but passing out from lack of oxygen before you can get it on.

Acceptance Is The Magic That Makes Change Possible

Accept and Validate: Acceptance Is The Magic That Makes Change Possible
Acceptance is the hallmark of many Eastern teachings. The opposite of acceptance and validation is judgment and denial, which make us tense up, lose our center, criticize ourselves and others, and hold impossible standards for everyone. When we are being judgmental, we invalidate ourselves and others.

Children’s Well-being Goes Hand In Hand With Their Dads’ Mental Health

Children’s Well-being Goes Hand In Hand With Their Dads’ Mental Health

We know from new research that children whose mothers are depressed may respond differently to stress, have altered immunity and be at greater risk of psychological disorders. This work adds to the body of research showing children can be affected in negative and long-term ways by their mothers’ mental ill-health.

What Type Of Relationship Should I Have With My Co-parent Now We're Divorced?

What Type Of Relationship Should I Have With My Co-parent Now We're Divorced?
When talking about separation and divorce, media and personal stories often focus on relationships characterised by ongoing conflict or violence. In contrast, Australian research suggests low conflict or cooperative post-separation relationships are common. These are negotiated in contexts that require what British sociologist Carol Smart described as an “indelible” joint-parenting contract.

Children Of Divorce Are Less Likely To Earn College Degrees

Children Of Divorce Are Less Likely To Earn College Degrees
Children of divorce are less likely to earn a four-year or graduate degree, according to a new study. The study is one of the first to look specifically at divorce and graduate education. Susan Stewart, professor of sociology at Iowa State University, says it is important to understand this relationship as more jobs require a graduate or professional degree.

Exploring The Silence and Doing Nothing, A Little Bit at a Time

Exploring The Silence and Doing Nothing, A Little Bit at a Time
A critical step in the embrace of silence and solitude is setting aside the notion that we have to be "doing something" throughout our waking hours. For most of us, this goes against what we have been taught since childhood...

How To Get Children To Eat A Rainbow Of Fruit And Vegetables

How To Get Children To Eat A Rainbow Of Fruit And Vegetables

Worldwide, people are not eating enough fruit and vegetables. In Australia, less than 4% of us meet the Australian Dietary Guideline recommendations for vegetables by age group. Worryingly, children and teenagers are even less likely than adults to be eating enough vegetables.

Less than 1% of kids aged two to three are eating the recommended 2.5 serves of vegetables and legumes a day. Between ages four to eight, 0% of kids are meeting their minimum 4.5 serves of vegetables per day. Most children up to 13 are eating two or fewer serves per day when the aim is closer to five serves.

How To Create A Happy and Productive Tomorrow

Our Choices Carve Another Aspect of Our Future
Each of us has the opportunity to accept and welcome the gift of living fully in the present. When we awaken to the eternal here and now, we feel alive, mobilized, our senses quickened. Each moment fully experienced becomes an integral part of the sculpting of our future. As we live today, we create our tomorrows.

How To Tell Your Children You're Getting Divorced

How To Tell Your Children You're Getting Divorced

While some kids may be lucky enough to skate through their parents’ separation relatively unscathed, the majority are going to suffer at least some short term, if not longer term distress. As an adult, you’ve likely forgotten just how central your family was to your sense of stability and even identity. Children have yet to develop autonomy, independence or a secure sense of self; instead, their entire frame of reference is strongly centred around their family. When that framework is broken, their world can feel as though it has fallen apart.

How On And Off Relationships Take A Toll On Mental Health

How On And Off Relationships Takes A Toll On Mental Health

A pattern of breaking up and getting back together can be bad for your mental health, according to a new study. While on-and-off-again couples like Sam and Diane from Cheers or Ross and Rachel from Friends may keep audiences watching, Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at the University of Missouri, suggests people in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about stabilizing or safely terminating their relationships.

Sacred Speech and Silence: From the Heart and to the Soul

Sacred Speech and Silence: From the Heart and to the Soul
We spend much of our time talking about trivial matters and practical ones -- the weather, plans for the day, routine office events, frivolous gossip, the next technological miracle, etc. So little of our conversation addresses our passions, loves, emotions, dreams, or our creative insights...

How Stress In Utero Harms Cognitive Skills Of Children

How Stress In Utero Harms Cognitive Skills Of ChildrenExposure to an acute stress in utero can have long-term consequences extending into childhood—but only among children in poor households, according to a new study. The study, which took place in Chile, did not find the same effect among children in upper- or middle-class families.

The Hidden Agenda Of School Dress Codes

The Hidden Agenda Of School Dress Codes

Dress code policies have always been prevalent in schools. Normally, what children can and cannot wear in schools is explicitly noted in school policies or implicitly implied by broader cultural and societal norms. The issue of the vast and sometimes exhaustive list of dress code policies of what cannot be worn has not had any resolution across localities and countries.

6 Things You Should Do When Reading With Your Kids

6 Things You Should Do When Reading With Your Kids

There is magic in stories. We all remember hearing them as children, and we loved them. Imaginary adventures set in faraway places. Tales about how the dishwasher isn’t working. It doesn’t matter! Whether made up by parents or read from books, kids love to hear stories. Our recent work showed reading to children positively impacts long term academic achievement more than many other activity (including playing music with them, or doing craft).

Should You Sometimes Be Bad For Another’s Good?

Should You Sometimes Be Bad For Another’s Good?Imagine that someone you care about is procrastinating in advance of a vital exam. If he fails the test, he will not be able to go to university, an eventuality of major consequence in his life. If positive encouragement doesn’t work, you might reverse strategy, making your friend feel so bad, so worried, so scared, that the only strategy left is that he starts studying like mad.

Are Midlife Sex Problems More Common Than You Think?

Are Midlife Sex Problems Are More Common Than You Think?

The most common sexual problem is low desire, according to a research study we recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Around 40 per cent of the women we asked, and 30 per cent of men, reported experiencing problems with low desire during the last six months.

Getting Along With Others: Simple or Complicated?

Getting Along With Others: Simple or Complicated?

Many people have real challenges in their relationships with other people. Are you one of them? One of the largest contributing factors to your ability to freely enjoy other people depends upon how much you enjoy yourself... how much you accept yourself.

What Makes A Good Friend?

What Makes A Good Friend?

Good friendships seem worth celebrating. But for many of us, tensions can appear from time to time between being a good friend and doing “the right thing.”

This Trait Can Tell You Who’s Really Trustworthy

This Trait Can Tell You Who’s Really TrustworthyWhen it comes to predicting who is most likely to act in a trustworthy manner, one of the most important factors is the anticipation of guilt, according to a new study.

What Are You Telling Yourself About Who You Are?

What Are You Telling Yourself About Who You Are?
We have all gone through life saying certain things about ourselves, such as: I'm a shy person, or I'm intelligent, or I'm stupid, or I'm clumsy, or I'm slow, etc. Once we understand the power of the word and of the mind, we come to the realization that all of these statements were simply creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

Negative Love: Repeating Parental Behaviors

Negative Love: Repeating Parental Behaviors
One emotion holding many of us back is negative love: our tendency to repeat the behaviors we used to win our parents’ love, and to repeat our parents’ attitudes, behaviors, and treatment of us. Generation after generation pass on the same type of negative love...

Why Parents Should Use Caution When Pushing A Picky Eater

Why Parents Should Use Caution When Pushing A Picky Eater
Using coercion to get your kid to eat healthy foods doesn’t really have effect, good or bad, on their weight. But it can cause meal-time tension and damage the parent-child relationship, a new study suggests.

How to Grow the Love In Your Relationships

How to Grow the Love In Your Relationships
A relationship is something to appreciate. A relationship allows you to share experiences. It lets you see yourself through someone else's eyes, and if that can be annoying at times, it is also a wonderful opportunity for self-awareness and growth...

How Your Social Network Could Save You From A Disaster

How Your Social Network Could Save You From A Disaster
In early November 2017, Brooks Fisher’s neighbor in Sonoma, California, pounded on his door at 2 a.m., rang the doorbell and shouted, “There’s a fire coming and you need to get out now! I can hear trees exploding!”

How Decriminalizing Pot Benefits Young People

How Decriminalizing Pot Benefits Young PeopleIn five states that decriminalized marijuana between 2007 and 2015, there was no corresponding rise in the drug’s use among young people, a new analysis shows.

Play Games With Your Kids This Summer To Boost Their Brains

Play Games With Your Kids This Summer To Boost Their Brains
Research shows that playing games can enhance our personal, social and emotional well-being, as well as our mental acuity. Many board games strengthen the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex of the brains of players.

How Culture Influences Children's Development

How Culture Influences Children's Development
From educational toys to governmental guidelines and detailed nursery progress reports, there are lots of resources available to help parents track and facilitate their children’s development.

Discover Your Inner Greatness by Loving Your Naked Self

Loving Your Naked Self & Discovering Your Inner Greatness
When we stop trying to make ourselves great and simply realize our greatness, it is easy to fall in love with who we are. The greatness that we try so desperately to conjure up is effectively buried beneath our best efforts to make ourselves acceptable.

How To Know If An Online Discussion Is Going To Get Nasty

How To Know If An Online Discussion Is Going To Get Nasty
Researchers have created a model to predict which civil online conversations might take a turn and derail. After analyzing hundreds of exchanges between Wikipedia editors, the researchers developed a computer program that scans for warning signs in participants’ language at the start of a conversation...

What I Love Most About You...

What I Love Most About You...
How often do you tell the special people in your life exactly what it is that you love most about them? How often do you identify what's good about your spouse, lover, children, sisters, brothers, dad, mother, uncles, aunts, friends, and colleagues -- and actually put it into words so there can be no doubt?

Why The Right Age To Start School Varies For Each Child

Why The Right Age To Start School Varies For Each Child
It’s that time of year again, when the noticeboard outside your local primary school is likely to read “Enrol your child for kindergarten/prep now”. But how do you know what the “right” age to start school is?

How's Your Inner Garden and Your Inner Rose?

It's Springtime and The Time of Rebirth: How's Your Inner Garden?
Our subconscious is a truly wonderful partner. It finds many ways to communicate with us. The other morning, I found myself humming "Slow down, you're going too fast..." Now, that was a clear message. Have you ever paid attention to the songs that you find yourself humming, or whistling?

Feelings Are Your Guide to "Being" Peace and Happiness

Feelings Are Your Guide to Being Peace and Happiness
Our feelings are a foolproof guidance system, letting us know if we are experiencing heaven or hell, love or fear, well being or disease. Using your feelings as your guide is the most direct indicator of whether or not you are being peace and happiness.

Alone Again, Naturally: Mastering the Art of Flying Solo

Alone Again, Naturally: Mastering the Art of Flying Solo
Our fear of aloneness is so ingrained that given the choice of being by ourselves or being with others we opt for safety in numbers, even at the expense of lingering in painful, boring, or totally unredeeming company. While many have their solo lifestyles thrust on them -- people die, people go away -- a huge and growing population is choosing to be alone...

Why Do Kids Lie, And Is It Normal?

Why Do Kids Lie, And Is It Normal?
Children typically begin lying in the preschool years, between two and four years of age. These intentional attempts at deception may worry parents, who fear their child will become a pint-sized social deviant.

Caregiving -- A Gift That Can Heal Relationships

Caregiving --  A Gift That Can Heal Relationships
People have told me many stories of difficult mother-daughter relationships that healed through caregiving. Their stories have given me the gift of healing. Forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and love grow through empathy for and understanding of the experiences of others...

How Technology Is Changing Sex

How Technology Is Changing SexAs the TV series Westworld wraps up its second season, the show continues to spark discussion about a potential future that involves lifelike sex robots.

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship

Love & All the Good Stuff: There's No Such Thing As A Failed Relationship
Quite often, I spend time with people who are extremely critical of themselves for having multiple failed relationships. The truth is, they're missing the point: We can't fail, because there's no way to do these things wrong. A failed relationship, if you put it into its proper context, is a chance to...

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men

Women Show Sexual Preference For Tall, Dominant Men
The old cliché tells us the most desirable men are “tall, dark, and handsome” – and scientific research confirms that heterosexual women tend to prefer partners who are taller than them.

Business for Lovers and Authentic Communicators

Business for Lovers and Authentic Communicators
I invite you to extend your circle of authentic conversations to include not just lovers, but people you encounter in situations that appear to be routine, boring, or mundane. A master teacher told me that one of the secrets of success is to “take whatcha got and make whatcha want.” 

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool

Separation as a Powerful Relationship Tool
Taking time apart from a loved one is often thought of as the end of the relationship. But after 53 years together, and helping to guide thousands of couples, Joyce and I view separation as a sometimes vital necessity in a relationship...

How Can We Build A Better World -- One Person at a Time?

How Can We Build A Better World -- One Person at a Time?
We look around at the world's problems and wish they would go away, but they stubbornly persist despite our most heartfelt desires. So we end up living in a kind of ethical haze. It seems that everything and everyone is for sale. Nothing remains sacred.

Get Your Future Back by Becoming a Hope-filled Optimist

Get Your Future Back by Becoming a Hope-filled Optimist
Nobody wants to feel hopeless. There are some who attach themselves to it because they know nothing else. Even people who are suicidal don't want death as much as they want the pain to stop.

Extreme Stress During Childhood Can Hurt Social Learning For Years To Come

Extreme Stress During Childhood Can Hurt Social Learning For Years To Come
Each year, more than 6 million children in the United States are referred to Child Protective Services for abuse or neglect. Previous research on the consequences of early life stress and child maltreatment shows that these children will be more likely to develop a multitude of social and mental health problems.

The Drugs Students Are Taking And Why

The Drugs Students Are Taking And Why
With all the freedoms independent living entails, it’s maybe not surprising then that drug use tends to be much higher among students than the general population.

Why Our Brains See The World As "Us Versus Them"

Why Our Brains See The World As "Us Versus Them"
Anti-immigrant policies, race-related demonstrations, Title IX disputes, affirmative action court cases, same-sex marriage litigation. These issues are continually in the headlines. But even thoughtful articles on these subjects seem always to devolve to pitting warring factions against each other: black versus white, women versus men, gay versus straight.

Removing Abandonment Masks and Ego Projections

Removing Abandonment Masks and Ego Projections
A consciousness of abandonment may begin in early childhood with the death or divorce of a parent, the father taking a job in another town and seldom seeing the child, or perhaps feeling lost in a large family of brothers and sisters and not receiving enough attention. Other factors to consider...

Why Certainty Is Good For Romance

Why Certainty Is Good For RomanceUncertainty about a potential romantic partner’s interest in you may lead you to see the person as less sexually attractive, according to a new study.

How Long Term Separation From Parents Harms Kids

Why Long Term Separation From Parents Harms Kids
As a society, we often wax eloquent about how important it is to nurture, support and protect our children. The sad reality, however, is that all too often major, life-changing decisions are made without any consideration of their potential lifelong and devastating impact on kids.

Reimagining and Recreating Your Friendships Fearlessly

Reimagining and Recreating Your Friendships Fearlessly
Whether your relationships are as wonderful as you wish them to be or you feel that there is room for improvement, using metaphysical methods to manage and sustain them is as rewarding as is it empowering.

100 Practices For Great Relationships

100 Practices For Great Relationships
When my husband Charlie and I conducted our study, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples about Lasting Love, these are the practices that respondents told us had held them in good stead to grow their exemplary relationships.

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love

Repairing Relationships with the Three Keys to Everlasting Love
Some couples seem blessed with everlasting love. Then, there’s the rest of us—who start running into trouble once the honeymoon is over. We encounter differences, disagreements, disappointments. Buttons get pushed. And communication breaks down as issues become increasingly hard to resolve.

Why Only 1 In 4 Women Who Have Been Sexually Harassed Tell Their Employers

Why Only 1 In 4 Women Who Have Been Sexually Harassed Tell Their Employers
Studies suggest few women formally complain about sexual harassment in the workplace. Based on experience litigating sexual harassment cases as well as my research, I have determined there are three legal barriers that stand in the way of workers filing complaints – a critical step to rooting out harassment and protecting employees.

Aloneness and Relationships: Accepting Life In All Its Dimensions

Aloneness and Relationships: Accepting Life In All Its Dimensions
It is beautiful to be alone, it is also beautiful to be in love, to be with people. And they are complementary, not contradictory. When you are enjoying others, enjoy, and enjoy to the full; there is no need to bother about aloneness. And when you are fed up with others, then move into aloneness and enjoy it to the full.

What We Can Learn From The World's Oldest Population

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Japan has long been known for its widespread respect for its seniors and a powerful sense of obligation to care for them. Yet as the demographic structure of society has changed, and the population has progressively aged, the provision of care is increasingly seen as a social (and not exclusively a family) concern.

Finding Your Perfect Partner: Two Key Ingredients

Finding Your Perfect Partner: 2 Key IngredientsSharing your life with a loving partner is very rewarding and meaningful. Since we work with couples, we often ask them how they met. Often they will respond that they met online. Typically, they are somewhat embarrassed when they reveal this, thinking that it should have been a more natural and romantic way of meeting. But...

How You Can Take Your Power Back After You've Given It Away

Take Your Power Back
We have all given our power away to something -- many things -- and our lives have sucked for it. We have bestowed undue power to lovers, money, bosses, addictive substances, fame, etc. You give your power away when you make someone or something outside of you more important than what is inside of you.

Do You Feel Lonely? Here's How Not To Fear Being Alone

How Not To Fear Being Alone
Do you feel lonely because you do not have family around you? Let's put loneliness and being alone in its proper perspective. If you have a need for a family then the relationship you have with your family is based on fear and not love.

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