There Are At Least 14 Different Kinds Of Love

There Are At Least 14 Different Kinds Of Love
No emotion, surely, is as cherished and sought after as love. Yet on occasions such as Valentine’s day, we can often be misled into thinking that it consists solely in the swooning, star-crossed romance of falling deeply “in love”.

You Are My Valentine: Loving the One You're With

Are You My Valentine? Loving the one you're with
There can be plenty of tension associated with Valentine's Day. One cold, dreary February 14th, I am at the grocery store at 5 p.m. In the parking lot I can see men getting out of their cars and scurrying into the store. Inside at the express lane checkout counter are five men standing in line, each holding a dozen roses...

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable in Relationship
The paradox of vulnerability in relationships, the path to connection, is to allow yourself to be both strong and vulnerable at the same time. When you do, it allows your partner to get to see the real you with your defenses down. This means no hiding. Not from yourself, not from your partner and best of all no hiding from the truth.

A Different Kind of Valentine

A Different Kind of Valentine
February is the month of Valentines, when our thoughts turn to love. Usually we give Valentines gifts and affection to romantic partners. This month I would like to shift our focus to expressions of love to our family, in particular our parents.

The Longest Road: Developing the Wisdom of the Heart

The Longest Road: Developing the Wisdom of the Heart
A wise elder once told me, "Grandson, the longest road you will ever have to walk is the sacred journey from your head to your heart." Another elder said, "We will never solve the many critical and life-threatening issues before us solely through the intellect; for every problem the intellect solves it creates ten more."

To Really Choose a Man

To Really Choose a Man
To really love a man is to choose him over and over again. It’s not enough to say marriage vows one time, though that is certainly important. The relationship is deepened if you let him know often that you would choose him all over again if given the choice.

Meeting Myself Again Through My Old Journals

Meeting Myself Again Through My Old Journals
I wrote about my difficulties, my challenges, my full and often overwhelming life as a wife, mother, daughter, and full-time professor with hours of evening paperwork. All of these roles took huge chunks out of me, and my exhausting days were underscored by a line I came upon in my journal, one that actually took my breath away as I read it twenty years later...

Achieving an Attitude of Gratitude... for Kids (and Adults)

Achieving an Attitude of Gratitude... for Kids (and Adults)
How do you help your child achieve a positive sense of worth? By teaching him how to appreciate himself. Do this by: 1. First, no matter how your child is behaving, find something within him to value and be grateful for. 2. Then, point out to your child the specific quality or action you are appreciating about him.

Minding Our Words and Saying What We Really Mean

Minding Our Words and Saying What We Really Mean
Telepathy is the language of communication in the spiritual realm. Imagine knowing the thoughts of all the people around you and having all your thoughts revealed without speaking. No one could manipulate or pretend to be other than who they are. All our motivations, fears, and loves would be exposed.

Are You More Likely To Deny The Truth In Your Second Language?

Are You More Likely To Deny The Truth In Your Second Language?Whether you’re speaking in your native tongue, or in another language, being understood and believed is fundamental to good communication. After all, a fact is a fact in any language, and a statement that is objectively true should just be considered true, whether presented to you in English, Chinese or Arabic.

When Should You Unfriend Someone On Facebook?

When Should You Unfriend Someone On Facebook?The nature and ethics of “fake news” has become a subject of widespread concern. But, for many of us, the issue is much more personal: What are we to do when a cranky uncle or an otherwise pleasant old friend persists in populating our news feeds with a stream of posts that can run deeply contrary to our own values?

How To Get Your Message Across In Just 60 Seconds

How To Get Your Message Across In Just 60 SecondsDo you have something important to say, but find it hard to get people’s attention? Or have you tried to listen to someone who claims to have something interesting to impart, but they can’t explain it and the idea gets lost? (Or worse, you get bored and lose interest, even if they’re trying to describe their revolutionary new laser shark).

Who Are You? Identify Yourself, Please!

Who Are You? Identify Yourself, Please!
Being asked by someone what we believe our “identity” is can be difficult. Whenever this author hears a police officer on a television show yell out, “Identify yourself, please!” she has to laugh. Should the person respond with “I’m a single woman in her 40s who owns six cats and brews my own beer in my spare time”? Or perhaps, “I’m a Leo, and I love to jet ski and eat junk food”?

If You Actually Cared About Me, You Would...

If You Cared About Me, You Would...We're programmed to have unrealistic expectations from movies and TV, from romance stories promising wonderful experiences with people who anticipate our every wish. We want someone to be always caring, always considerate, always loveable, always giving. But these romantic illusions too often leave us feeling cheated...

Why People Cheat on Their Partners

Why People Cheat on Their PartnersWe all know what infidelity is, but a universal definition is difficult to carve out—especially in the digital age. Is watching porn cheating, or is it only cheating if the person on the other side of the screen is live?

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We Kiss

Why Most Of Us Lean To The Right When We KissSimple behavioural tests have now allowed us to see how this organisation is revealed through biases in how we see and interact with the world – and each other – often without us being aware of it.

I’ve Been There, Honey

I’ve Been There, HoneyThere's a huge difference between sympathy and empathy, between "I'm sorry" and "I've been there." It's not that sympathy is bad. It's just that empathy invites a connection that sympathy simply can't. Sympathy says, "I feel sorry for you." while empathy declares "I am you."

Learning to Listen with our Inner Ear

Being Responsive by Learning How to ListenIf you grew up in a home where you were either neglected or constantly on the losing end of a win-lose situation, you will be trying to build responsiveness and responsibility in yourself at the same time that you try to maintain it in your household -- not an easy task by any means, but one you can handle.

Can Lies About Santa Be Good For Your Child?

Can Lies About Santa Be Good For Your Child?Developmental psychology suggests that fantastical beliefs in children are associated with positive developmental outcomes. And parents need not worry, children will bust the Santa myth themselves, when the time is right.

When Sex Roles Get Reversed, Some Females Develop A Penis

A male African jacana bird mounts a female, but who takes the lead in caring for the young?. In many species, the males develop elaborated sexual traits to attract females and dissuade potential rival males through competition.

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?

Why Do We Always Seem To Repeat The Same Lesson?Have you ever noticed that lessons tend to repeat themselves? Does it seem as if you married or dated the same person several times in different bodies with different names? Have you run into the same type of boss over and over again? Do you find yourself having the same problem with many different coworkers?

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused Words

The Horror And Pleasure Of Misused WordsAmerican film director Judd Apatow once confessed to Stephen Colbert that he’d been mispronouncing his wife's name for nearly two decades. He’d been saying “Lez-lee”, while she pronounces it as “Less-lee”. When he asked her why she hadn’t corrected his mistake, she said she “thought he wouldn’t be able to make the adjustment”. 

Why Men Also Get Postnatal Depression

Why Men Also Get Postnatal DepressionOver the past few years, there has been an increase in media reports about postnatal depression and other maternal mental illnesses, and campaigns have led to greater understanding about the need for more specialist services.

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel Loved

Americans Agree About What Makes Them Feel LovedPeople in the United States may largely agree about what gestures and actions make them feel most loved. In a new study, researchers found that small, non-romantic gestures—like someone showing compassion or snuggling with a child—topped the list of what makes people feel loved.

When Is The Right Time For Your Child To Take A Test?

testing 11 18

Standardized tests have become the primary tool for determining a student’s academic ability. Legislators and administrators use test data to evaluate the effectiveness of schooling on children and create curriculum.

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

Why Parents Should Never Spank Children

There is no research evidence that spanking improves child behavior. On the contrary, spanking is associated with aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems and negative relationships with parents. 

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

Why Is It Nice To Be Nice?

World Kindness Day is a global 24-hour celebration dedicated to paying-it-forward and focusing on the good. We are encouraged to perform acts of kindness such as giving blood, cleaning a communal microwave at work, or volunteering at a nursing home.

How to Heal a Painful Family Relationship

How to Heal a Painful Family RelationshipOur relationships with parents, children, siblings, and spouses can be very complex puzzles of love and frustration — we can’t live with them and can’t live without them. We often have long-held patterns and painful feelings related to our sense of worth...

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself First

Choosing Another Way: Intimacy With Yourself FirstNone of us ever truly forgets the nurturing, warm comfort of the womb. We spend our lives trying to re-create that feeling of being held and protected. Nor do we forget the pain of individuation, of leaving Mother and home. We seek throughout our lives to have the separation and the resulting loneliness filled with meaningful relationships...

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?

Are You Helping Your Friends Too Much?Although most of us don't mind doing favors now and then, unhappily, some people have no qualms about inconveniencing others if doing so helps them achieve their goals. Although helping these people may give us some pleasure initially, our good feelings vanish when we finally realize we are being used.

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center

Honoring Your Sacred Space: Soul and the Heart Center We do not need history to tell us that having created every kind of sacred space around the world has not ensured that human beings are guided by unconditional love and the wisdom of the soul. The missing link is the heart. This is why the wisdom teachings of heart-centeredness are always revolutionary at whatever time and wherever they appear.

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong Question

Why Asking What Causes Autism Is The Wrong QuestionThe animal rights charity PETA recently made a link between autism and drinking cow’s milk. The article on its website discussed research that linked a dairy-free diet with a reduction in symptoms of autism in children. 

A Hawai'ian Formula To Free Yourself and Install A New Life

Following A Hawai'ian Formula and Installing A New LifeBeing happy is an attitude to life that is less determined by outside circumstances and more by inner qualities. A person’s character and mind is stable when their inner family is in harmony. As a metaphysician would put it: ‘It’s the same on the inside as the outside.’

How Sharing Parenting Duties Could Be Key To Marital Bliss

sharing parental duties 10 5The quality of women’s relationships with their partner is diminished if they view their parenting division as unfair or want to spend more time working, our new study of employed parents in Canada has found.

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?

Children And Sleep: How Much Do They Really Need?In parenting, there aren’t often straightforward answers, and sleep tends to be contentious. There are questions about whether we are overstating children’s sleep problems.

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not Depression

You Can Catch Your Friend’s Mood, But Not DepressionNew research suggests we can “pick up” good and bad moods from friends, but not depression. “We investigated whether there is evidence for the individual components of mood (such as appetite, tiredness, and sleep) spreading through US adolescent friendship networks..."

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't Real

When The Things That Trigger Our Emotions Aren't RealWhen we talk about it on paper, detaching or reducing our level of attachment doesn't sound so dif­ficult. There is no need to complicate anything; we keep it simple, moving from one interaction to another without becoming too attached to any one outcome. But in life it rarely happens this way...

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside World

How A Baby's Brain Prepares For The Outside WorldThe developing brain is not merely a downsized version of that of an adult, but is uniquely designed to prepare itself for the external world. It has structures and functions whose sole role is to set up the basic circuits required for life after birth

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