Talking to Your Self: Why It's Good for You!

Talking to Your Self? Why It's Good for You

It's interesting how some of the things that are really good for us have gotten a bad rap. One of the most maligned foods is garlic -- it's a powerful healer, yet it's on the social "black list" of foods. And what about broccoli, and spinach, and vegetables in general? These are also great healthy foods and yet they're labeled by some adults as well as children, as "yuk" foods

Another thing that is considered a "faux pas" in our society is talking to yourself. We've all been told, or at least heard, that if you talk to yourself you'll be locked up, and to especially not answer yourself. If you're talking back to yourself, they'll throw away the key.

We've been told not to talk to "imaginary friends" as that is considered "childish" or not based in reality. And, as for talking to angels or God, well, forget it. Since I was raised catholic, I believed you had to be canonized (made into a saint) to have the ability (permission) to talk to God. Do we expect God to only speak to us in Church and only via the priest (or minister) at that?

So all these things that are actually good for us have been tainted, and we've been told to stay away from them. Part of me wants to ask why that has happened, yet, I know that the reasons are probably many and it may not really be of great use, in this case, to question why. What's done is done. We can't change the past, but we can change the future.

Questioning What We've Been Told: Taboos That Hold Us Back

What is most important is to start questioning these things we've been told as to whether or not they are true or valid. Does garlic really "stink"? Is broccoli really "yukky"? Is talking to yourself really "crazy"? Is it impossible to carry on a conversation with God?

Yes, I know, we've heard of other people talking to God -- but they're special, right? Only the saints, the great teachers, the "special" ones can do that, not us. We're not "special". We're just regular folk!

Well, you're right and you're wrong. Maybe you are "regular folk" since we're all "regular" unique beings, but every single one of us has the ability to "talk to God". If you're uncomfortable with the word God, call it Cosmic Intelligence, Higher Self, Inner Wisdom, Spirit, Creator, Universe, Guardian Angel, whatever. As Shakespeare wrote, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

It is time to get rid of the taboos in our life that hold us back, whatever they are. All those "rules" in your life that say: "I can't do that because..."

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How many occasions to dance have you missed because you wouldn't be the first one out on the dance floor?

How many new experiences have you passed by because no one you knew had ever done that particular thing?

How many "new friends" have you let walk away because you "shouldn't talk to strangers" or you hadn't been properly introduced?

And how many times have you overlooked the best source of wisdom and clarity you have because you "must not talk to yourself"?

It's Time to Start Talking to Your Self

It's time to start talking to our Self -- not our small self, but our Higher Self, the wise one, the one with the "higher" perspective on things. At first you may not know what the difference between the small self's voice and the Higher Self's voice. Here's some clues.

The small self will say things like: "People will think you're stupid if you..." whereas the Higher Self will say: "You might try doing it this way instead." The lower self will say "What an idiot! You did it wrong!" The Higher Self will say: "Here's an idea that could work..."

In other words, the Higher Self is supportive and helpful. The lower self is self-denigrating, puts you down, tells you you're an idiot, etc. etc. Unfortunately, most of us have had lots of practice talking to the lower self. It's kept us "small", "in our place", and kept us from aiming for the stars. Yet, within each and every one is the voice of Inner Wisdom, the source of the best advice we can have, the one who's willing to help us reach for and attain the stars.

Talking to Yourself? How and Why It's Good for YouHow do we access it? Simply by initiating a conversation. You see, unlike the lower self, which is a bully, the Higher Self waits patiently on the sidelines. It will not "badger you" into listening to it, it will not insult you to get your attention, it will not put you down to make itself feel better. Those behaviors belong to the lower self (call it misplaced ego, evil, devil, negativity, whatever).

The Higher Self, on the contrary, is patient, understanding, and always willing to help, when asked. And that's the kicker: you have to ask. Jesus, one of the great master teachers of our time, said it best: "Ask and ye shall receive."

Yet some of us think that asking for help somehow makes us "less". Like we should "know it all already". Well, in a sense, that belief is both true and false. We do know it all already, because we have within us the source of all knowledge and it does not make us "less" to ask for help. We simply need to connect, to tune in, to listen.

Are You Willing to Shut Up and Listen?

For centuries, we have been taught to pray to talk to God (or Spirit, saints, etc.). Yes, we have been told how to pray, how to ask God for things, how to ask God to intervene in our affairs. Yet, in most cases, we have not been taught to listen.

Just imagine that you go to someone for advice and all you do in their presence is talk. You don't let them get a word in edgewise. How can they give you any advice if you won't shut up and listen?

Well, so it is with receiving advice from God, Higher Self, Inner Wisdom, Cosmic Intelligence, etc. If we're so busy praying, asking, talking, complaining, etc. that we don't stop and listen, how can we expect to receive any answers? Praying is fine, but it's only part of the equation. The other part involves listening and paying attention to answers.

This is a skill we all have. We know how to listen. We all have ears, and we know how to use them -- it's not even a learned skill, we're born with the gift of hearing. We simply need to get the "little self" out of the way -- you know the one who doesn't need any help, who doesn't want anyone to know it doesn't have all the answers, the one who won't be told what to do, the one who won't listen to advice.

Resistance to Listening to Higher Self

I found that, for me, the greatest resistance to listening to the voice of my Higher Self was the resistance to being told what to do. Somehow, I interpreted its kind loving suggestions as orders, and my rebellious self bristled at that. Yet, as someone one remarked to me, "If you're rebelling against something that is good for you, are you simply rebelling for the sake of rebelling? How is that helping you?"

I realized that Higher Self was never "telling me what to do", in the sense of ordering me around. Higher Self simply points out alternatives, makes suggestions, or shows us a different perspective than the one we presently have. It's a great helper, the best friend we ever had, the greatest consultant there is.

It's there for the asking, and we can all access it because it's free! No charge for its advice, no hidden costs, no "I'll be nice to you if you're nice to me". The Higher Self doesn't even get insulted if you don't follow its suggestions. It has no attachment to the result, other than lovingly wanting what's best for you.

Always Someone There to Assist You

Let your Self be an active part of your life. Start talking to your Self regularly. Let your Higher Self, your God within, your Divine Intelligence, become your new best friend, your invisible friend. You'll discover a whole new world -- one where there is always "someone" there to help, to give you advice, to stay close when you're feeling lonely or depressed, always someone to talk with, always someone that loves you.

Talking to our Self is one of the greatest helpers we have. If we talked to our Self more often, we'd be a lot happier and a lot more "on track". We'd have a lot less depression, anger, frustration, confusion, etc. We'd have a lot more peace, joy, clarity, and direction in our life.

So please, start talking to your Self again. They won't lock you up for doing that! And even if they did, at least you'd have someone to talk to there who loves you -- your invisible best friend! ♥

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on


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Conversations with GodConversations with God, Book 1 was the start of Neale Donald Walsch's ongoing dialogue with God. The trilogy contains the most essential truths and lessons for spiritual seekers, and these books are the bestselling of all the author's works. A great example of an ongoing conversation with God.

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